#lffr

-"impossible" — about doubting a dream that is too good to be true, about doubting your interpretations of another person. I think this is how Alex feels about his offer to Merc, and, subconsciously, about George. Goes with the opening scene on the beach.

-"Lie Detector" — the cigarette scene after family Christmas, where Alex purposefully turns away and hides his emotions from George/ feels too self conscious to accept George's sincere affection for him. "if I never let my guard down/ then I never have to find out/ that to be seen is to be loved."

-"Ribs" — a deep childhood nostalgia and being forced to reexamine it as you grow older, kinda goes with ch1-2 but also specifically with the orientation at Merc and Alex's initial optimism. Foreshadows how it will come undone because of Adult Pressures like Alex's insecurity and pressure to achieve in his career. ("this dream isn't feeling sweet"/ "you're the only friend I need/ sharing beds like little kids/ and laugh until our ribs get tough/ but that will never be enough)

-“Strange Land”—asked for this song to be included specifically because the feeling of being an immigrant in this song really corresponds with how Alex feels about being in Mercedes, when he spent such a long time trying to make Williams his home. The strange feeling of otherness, trying to make it in a strange new land (Ooh, continental drifter / still, I’m the hero of my hometown)

-"Forever... (is a long time)"— Alex's initial joy that at long last he has gotten a top seat and his hard work has paid off, eventually tempered by his own insecurities. ("I could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it")

-"Hello, Anxiety" — Alex doomscrolling social media before bed. The oxymoron of "relaxing on social media." But it's not super bad yet. (I also feel like the happy tone of this song really speaks to Alex’s philosophy of dealing with everything with a smile.)

-"The Only Heartbreaker" — Alex's initial negative comparisons of his performance with George. But again, it's not super bad yet. ("If you could just make one mistake/ what a relief that would be.")

-"Coal"-- Alex wondering how, with all the shit he's gone through at Red Bull and Williams, maybe the commentators and haters are right and he's just a flop. (semi ironically, I discovered this bc Liam covered it. Topical for him.)

-"proud of your boy"-- Mama Albon calling Alex and saying she's proud of him, Alex's discomfort with that because he feels like he hasn't done enough to deserve it

-"Sinking Ship" and "Nauseous" are both the ugly muffin scene. Alex feeling undeserving of George's love for him, setting the stage for him to hold George at a distance to protect himself pre emptively from rejection.

-"Good in Red"-- overcoming struggles to chase your dreams, but ultimately discovering that there's a darker side to your ambition, and that getting to where you wanted isn't healing you. Alex's initial burst of good performance and the acknowledgment of his hunger (the flames in his stomach, him thinking that Max doesn't know what it's like to be truly hungry for wins). And then foreshadowing the later drama with how success only fuels Alex's insecurities.

-"Sympathy is a Knife"-- comparing yourself to someone much more successful and beginning to resent them. Obviously the quali and the race in Montreal.

-"Social Cues"-- Alex feeling god awful and wanting to skip the party, then going and pretending to be happy and feeling worse. Also generally describes how the media and the public fuel his anxieties.

-"California"-- getting the chance to make it big and feeling like you've squandered it. Pretty clearly based on Chappell's own career and initial commercial failure (when eventually, like Alex, she did manage to achieve her dreams in the end.) the awful feeling of placing second in the race and taking it as a referendum that you're disappointing everyone and you'll never succeed ("I was never told that I wasn't gonna get/ the things I want the most")

-"Drive"-- the initial makeout and hookup after the party. It's intimate and sexy but also kind of menacing in terms of sound; lyrically, it's about miscommunication and hidden feelings. Not lyrically exactly abt this scene but the vibes matched in my head.

-"affection"-- the situationship situationing (Deeb kinda changed my life with this song. GENUINELY speaks to how ill-advised the hook up in montreal is, how george and alex are literally looking for affection in all the wrong places)

-"Not Strong Enough"-- Alex realizing he's being a shitty partner to George but not able to bring himself to fix it. Also, "always an angel/ never a god" as his constant comparison of himself to George

-"A BOY IS A GUN"-- In a roundabout, macho way, revealing the depth of one's feelings and the danger/ vulnerability one opens oneself up to by feeling them. (don't, don't shoot me down.) and then pushing that person away. (Deeb had a point about adding Tyler, the Creator because ‘troubled bisexual who seems pissed off at how strongly his feelings are towards another man’ fits with Alex in this ‘verse and I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree lol)

-"The Chain"-- just thee classic formula one banger, bc of it being the old Sky Sports F1 theme. But also, feeling the strain on a relationship of someone you swore you'd be ride or die with.

-"Ain't It Fun"-- I read this as Alex's own negative self talk, admonishing himself for not having his shit together now that he's at a top team, now substantially more vicious in tone than the earlier songs (hello anxiety and only heartbreaker). Chronologically goes with his fear of publicly humiliating himself or ending his career with no legacy, as well as George says that Alex is a big boy who can't have someone give him a spare chassis. (slightly non chronological bc that happens after the race at Silverstone iirc)

-"Broken Boy"-- Alex's own feelings of alienation and inadequacy at Silverstone-- pushes him ultimately to win though.

-"Winner"-- George calling out Alex for his selfish behavior. He's "won" at being a shit guy.

-"钢铁男子" (Steel Man)-- Strong sonic parallel to "winner" but opposite in theme. Alex hiding his emotions ("we're not joined at the hip) and pretending he's totally cool and nothing happened between them. (rough trans. "I need to be comforted/ make a sorrowful person not cry/ to face the sun and not look back/ tell me/ like a man made of steel/ I can hide the matters of my heart")

-"Street You Live On"-- same deal, Alex avoiding texting George and trying to avoid him generally but also wishing he'd get back in touch

-"New Magic Wand"-- Alex getting mega jealous of George and Carmen's IG pics ("I saw the pictures you looked joyous")

-"Noid"-- him crashing out right after and thinking the rest of the grid is out to get him. Also Alex's general bad relationship with the media and toxic fans. (This just captures so perfectly the headspace Alex is in during the Mallorca arc, how Carlos’ comments about his seat make him realize that he’s not on vacation with friends, but competitors, and just hammers down the dog eat dog paranoia of having a seat in F1 in 2025)

-"Bang the Doldrums"-- their friendship / situationship generally being #joever at this point

-"Ignorance" and "You First"-- the competition heating up and them not pulling any punches. "Ignorance" is more specifically about being angry about being cut off by a formerly close friend, "You First" is more about trying to get revenge by any means necessary.

-"Dance In Room"-- Crashing out and feeling shitty about yourself after the end of a relationship, resenting them but also wanting them back. Tracks to the post Singapore blowup argument.

-"All Alone"-- Alex hitting new lows after the Singapore argument ("Everyone's gone and I know I'm the cause")

-"When I Thought Of You"-- Missing and lusting after someone you've lost, also kinda hating them, seeing them around and noticing how fine they are but not being able to approach them. I think this is Alex right after the fight seeing George again in Phuket

-"you first (re: remi wolf)"-- repeat of the earlier theme (the Paramore version) but fun! And summery! This is the background in my head that also plays during paintball (along with Get Him Back)

-"ARE WE STILL FRIENDS"-- the truce and them going out to dinner. Trying to get back into the pattern but some parts of the balance are still off.

-"Sulung"-- i specifically asked Deeb to add this song because this is THE song for all the eldest children. ‘Sulung’ itself means ‘eldest child’, and the singer continually reminds the listener to let go of all his attachments, feel enough with what he has, to let go of what’s not his, so that for once he might think about himself first. And it’s just the fight with the siblings, alex being called out for always trying to fix shit just because he always has. It’s a fucking good song and i feel bad i can’t articulate it as well in English but it’s quite literally one of my favorite songs.

-"Two Slow Dancers"-- trying to repair a longtime relationship, tender despite the baggage. For the consolation scene where they fall asleep and skip the rehearsal dinner.

-"Touch Tank"-- ocean related horniness, also the beauty of sea creatures. The snorkeling scene. (OCEAN RELATED HORNINESS)

-"Big Star"-- Alex very obviously simping for George on the boat and at the wedding, recognizing in some ways George is still too good for him at this point, but it's affectionate instead of threatening ("Everyone knows that you're too good for me, don't they"). Literally taking his picture.

-"Desperado"-- Bitbit's drunken advice to Alex that he needs to open up and let people in. ("you better let somebody love you/ before it's too late")

-"My Backwards Walk"-- the very tender sex scene after the wedding

-"Silver Spoon" and "My Way" are George's interlude. Both about class and George's feelings of alienation in some way. Silver Spoon about their childhood and George's love and jealousy of the Albons' tight knit family, "My Way" about George finally deciding that things won't work out ("I'm leaving before the sunrise/ no need to say our goodbyes") (what a magic Deeb found silver spoon exactly as i’m writing the scene where george was just wishing he would have dinner at the table with his family one day T_T)

-"My Dearest Friend and Enemy" -- Alex incrementally more self awareness and realizing how badly he DOES miss George and realizing how heartbroken he would be without him, even if it may be for the best

-"Hurt"-- Alex crashing out after reliving the flashbacks during his run, gaining some measures of self awareness ("what have I become, my deepest friend? / everyone I know goes away in the end") at how badly he fucked up

-"I Love You, I'm Sorry" is him starting to realize he needs to change in order to reconcile, but not quite knowing how yet. ("I push my luck, it shows/ thankful you don't send someone to kill me" and "making amends this shit never ends, I'm wrong again, wrong again") I could also see this being him drunk dialing George and fucking things up further.

-"making the bed"-- the club scene where Alex realizes everyone kinda dislikes him and he's kinda screwed things up with everyone, and proceeds to do so further by drunk dialing and haranguing George for kissing Carmen. Lando telling him the championship is all Alex has left. this song is coincidentally very fitting and I picked it out before I read ch8. Starting to doubt the worth of his material achievements and the cost of his previous ambition, drinking with randos after driving off his close friends, victimizing himself while at the same time realizing where he is is the consequences of his own actions. ("every good thing has turned into something I dread/ and I'm playing the victim so well in my head/ but it's me who's been making the bed")

-"Last Hope"-- starting to reconcile with George in Vegas, trying to relinquish some control and open up the fist

-"Space Cowboy"-- the panic attack in Vegas, and also starting to question what it's all for and if the emptiness will really be filled by winning the championship

-"Achilles Come Down"-- we've talked abt this one so had to include. The internal turmoil bit, and the paradigm shift after the crash, realizing that he needs to fucking embrace the fact that he loves George instead of running from it, and also love himself while he's at it. (‘So self-referential’ made me think about how often Alex compares how he is vs how he used to be, so obsessed with his performance that he wouldn’t give time to think about he’s affected other people.)

-"Vienna"-- I see this as Toto's reassuring monologue to Alex in the hospital. Alex is being eaten up by his fears and ambition instead of realizing he can actually cool it for one sec and be fine. ("if you're so smart tell me why are you still so afraid" "you better cool it off before you burn it out" etc)

-"Ivy"-- Alex and George reconciling in the hospital. Even though they've hurt each other, they finally talk it out and it works because "deep down, the feeling still deep down is good."

-"True Blue" and "The Man with the Axe"-- George babying Alex after he gets out of the hospital. Alex realizing it's a good thing, actually, that George knows him so well instead of being scared of what he'll find, and letting go of the rivalry. ("I can't hide from you like I hide from myself")

-"The Only Exception"-- Alex finally, despite his baggage and mistrust, embracing openness and love towards others. The epilogue, and the thematic full circle where it ends on Alex telling George he loves him, too. ("I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist/ but darling, you are the only exception"