#lexis thoughts

And honestly, I'm a romantic, I was as happy as anyone that they came out as a couple, but I don't care for the way that people act like they're making it their entire brand when they specifically said they weren't going to do that and that nothing was going to change, and when I actually watch things like the podcast they really haven't changed much but I think the aspect of their creativity has been lost in exchange for clicks about their relationship, and I used to really enjoy the fandom space when people had to actually discuss the content rather than solely about their relationship.

thanks in advance!

This ask is really sweet, and I really appreciate how you've approached this! I will note, I have had like 3 specific blogs on my shitlist over the past couple weeks who all specifically admitted to not having any interest in Dan and Phil until they came out as a couple, and I've had so many wonderful conversations and interactions with fans who also became fans around the same time, so it definitely does depend on how you approach it!

For me, one of the biggest things, exactly like you said, is feeling the vibe of a community. Up until a couple weeks ago (where, granted, I spent a few months off of tumblr), I was under the impression that the Dan and Phil fan space was a place where people could come together to discuss the sort of content and conversations Dan and Phil have and have a safe space to hear other people's opinions on the subject! Lately, sadly, I've been finding that every post is strictly about how romantic Dan and Phil are and how in love they are and speculation about their kinks, which to me crosses such a line that I don't even know where to begin.

Dan and Phil have been very clear what they consider "boundaries" in regards to the fan, and maybe it's because they don't spend much time on their public accounts on social media so they don't see the weird shit, and frankly they know tumblr has weird shit so like I GET it but I personally thought there was an understanding that the weird shit stays specifically on personal blogs and in fanfics rather than in the main community hubs that are public for everyone to see.

I think the fact that you're even considering how other people feel means you're not contributing to the nuisance in the slightest, but the biggest Tumblr rules of thumb in my opinion are a) remember that this is a community where other people are free to have opinions and conversations about their opinions, and if that's not something you want to participate in that's totally fine, but it's also each individual user's responsibility to manage their post accessibility and not get upset at people if they disagree or have a critique worth considering, which leads into my next point, b) if someone tells you that you're making them uncomfortable, it's your responsibility to reflect on your actions as to why that happened. It might not always be your "fault" and your best judgement is always beneficial in the case, but there are some people who have amassed a massive handful of people who are incredibly uncomfortable by the sort of the content they post to every main fandom tag and force people to interact with if we want to block them. Leading into my last point, c) please tag trigger warnings and fandom content appropriately!! For me, my blog is a bit more personal so I do sometimes forget to tag trigger warnings, but I also make a point of not tagging any popular tags in the posts that may require a trigger warning. For things like detailed and graphic sex speculations, self harm, even drug use, giving people the opportunity to filter triggering content will always be the most considerate approach.

Dan seems very confident and educated about his orthostatic hypertension, which is a blood pressure issue that can typically be managed relatively easily by being more mobile and cutting out stressors ("treating the causes improves symptoms"). Simultaneously, Phil has mentioned issues with dizziness and obviously his various ailments over the years, some self inflicted (glue), some not (bum), but I think we need to be very careful in the way I've seen some people claim that we need to "give Dan and Phil grace" when they're being disrespectful about things like COVID because they're "also disabled".

My partner is an ambulatory wheelchair user who was 1 month out of surgery when the lockdown began and was struggling with severe asthma, and when I made the decision to get up and work with the public every day for 3 years, there was this horrifying, unyielding fear that I was going to genuinely kill him if I brought COVID home to him. I've personally been very thankful that I've regained some of my energy, but getting long COVID made me a zombie for the better part of three years where I lost nearly all my muscle mass, my appetite, and my energy.