#lexi rambles

> autistic tgirl in IT

> develop a crush on a cute robot girl

> offer to host a development environment for her on my home server

> she says ok

> struggle to install Debian because I'm a windowsfag

> set up Debian and add her account to the sudoers list

> try to set up a tunnel to a subdomain to point to the box

> mfw it works after an hour of reading docs

This feels like peak nerdy transfem flirting. Tell me I'm wrong.

Basically for my entire life I have been fantasizing about denial and wishing for a truly foolproof way that someone else might be able to stimulate me as much as they want without me ever being able to go over the edge. I've tried hypnosis, topical anesthesia, chastity belts, applying strong electric shocks directly to my clit when I get close, and I'm sure plenty of other even more outlandish things...

This is way more effective than any of those and is devilishly simple for someone else to do to me with nothing but their fingers. I truly do not think I could cum from any of my normal methods even while trying as hard as I can.

My body's immediate reaction was to get feverishly horny and wet at the idea of having an easy off button for my clit that someone could use to keep me on edge for as long as they want. My rational brain's reaction was a fear at how completely I feel someone could control me and keep me permanently desperate if they had this knowledge.

I fell asleep thinking about how I should be careful and thoughtful about sharing this discovery with anyone.

The next morning I woke up still a little high from the gummies and was laying in bed telling Calli about my fantasies from the previous night when I remembered my discovery and excitedly told her about it and showed her how to do it. It wasn't until after the words left my mouth that I remembered that I had felt a need to be cautious with that information.