#lewis james pullman

Then Harry came along, in university, British, tattoos, and a bad boy demeanor with a heart of gold-everything he isn't. There was no front or demeanour, he got wrapped up in shady business because that was just how it was for him. They were just friends in the beginning, he doesn't honestly know why she waited so long to get with him-why she kept going back to Rocco, unable to stay away and always sleeping with him-or having some kind of talk where they were dancing around the truth-neither one capable of pointing out the truth. One day, she just pulled away, said she couldn't do this anymore-that Harry wanted to commit to her and she couldn't keep doing 'whatever this is'. Once he realized the truth, it was too late, she was graduating college, then she moved to London with Harry so they could be close to his family. 

He didn't know much about her after that, they grew up in similar environments, but then she really made things of herself. When he heard she was back in town, apparently separated from Harry, someone she never married after being together for eight years, even having a kid. He's thought about her a lot, he’d forgotten with Marina, or so he thinks…maybe just distracted from the pain. He loved her truly, he had a child with her, but there was always a part of him that felt like he couldn’t properly love another or maybe Marina just wasn’t Y/n. Rocco Jr, only four now, was his everything, trading him off every week, he still wanted him to feel at home with him. He didn’t focus on love anymore, but then he started thinking about Y/n again-about how much he had royally messed up. Though he just couldn’t regret it, he hadn’t, if none of this happened he wouldn’t have his son, he wouldn’t have been able to truly experience being with someone he loved with Marina. A part of him would always love her, but another would always love Y/n-always yearn for another chance with the one that got away. 

He just texted her, like they were just old friends reconnecting after a long period of time. Because for what he knew, that’s how she felt about him, he had inkingly about something else but could never accept that she could feel the same. She’s the one to ask him to meet up, that she wanted to talk to him. It was something he was trying to gear himself up to do but he was nervous, he wanted to be transparent with her, tell her how he felt all that time ago-how he still felt it through everything. 

Then the bell rings to the cafe he was sitting at, he didn’t even like coffee, he was more of a redbull guy but he didn’t mind-he knew she loved lattes, mocha’s and all of those different types of drinks that this place specifically had. It wasn’t too far from his studio that he had back then, they would spend the whole day up there on their free days, in the beginning it was a lot of sex-then it turned into painting for hours, hot unemotional sex turning into something slow, all expressive and encompassing, talking about anything, everything aside from their feelings for each other. When they needed refreshments, or just to get out, they walked down to this exact cafe, he bought anything that she wanted, always insisting. Especially when she tries to make it up to him with baked goods, shoving him away when they made dinner. They were just friends with benefits, he has been closer to anyone in his life, not even Marina. 

He looks up, but it isn’t her this time, his jaw clenches, his hands rub at his thighs in nerves, but then it rings again-a huddle of people coming in and then finally she comes into view. She still wore dresses that clung to every inch of her, breasts full, she also wore a cardigan over her shoulders, boots on her foot, her hair down in curls. 

Somehow everything changed, yet nothing did-she still had those big brown eyes. She looks around the room before spotting him, the biggest smile stretches across her face, she approaches him. “Hey, Rocco.” she greets, standing in front of him.

“Hey Y/n/n…” he trails, swallowing deeply, she cocks her head to the side, waving her hand, as his eyes go up her legs, wondering about those stretch marks she had just behind her knee, before crawling up her body, noticing every little hug. 

She feels a little hot but tries to break the tension, “Are you really not gonna hug me?” she teases, his eyes widen, he darts up from his spot, the chair scraping back. Rocco had been such a cool-chill guy, that’s what was the front he put up-but he didn’t act that way around her-he was clumsy, kinda goofy with all of his long limbs, nervous. Other times he was teasing her, a playful dynamic where they could just be themselves, clumsy-and somehow so hot. She steps forward wrapping an arm around his neck for a brief hug, his hand falling to her waist for a second before they parted. His head felt dizzy from feeling her so close, to the scent of her perfume, the way she smiles as she looks at him. “Should we order some coffee?”

“Yes,” he assures, getting in line behind the crowd that surrounds them. “How have you been?”

“Good actually, I’m on my way to publishing a book actually.” she said, growing a bit bashful she glanced down. 

Old instincts wanted to kick in, he wanted to reach out for her back, give a reassuring brush of his hand. They weren’t like that anymore, why did it feel like it was only yesterday? Once they order their drinks, he sneakily pays for it before they go to sit down at a side table. Both of them just watch as the crowd thins as the last rush of the day goes through, Rocco trying to come up with something to say, while she just sat in the silence, soaking it up before she broke the dam of her feelings.

Then she finally says something, “So you texted me.”

“So you invited me here.” Rocco counters, barely touching his drink. 

She wants to just lay it all down on the line but she couldn’t, not yet, "What has the last ten years been like for you?”

“Well uh…not much really aside from uh, having a son, Rocco Jr, and uh I got married but that didn’t last too long.” he said, rubbing at the back of his neck, blue eyes flitting down to the table and then back at her. “I stepped back from the shady business, I’m a mechanic now.” he shrugs, “Get my kid every other week, eat, sleep, repeat. How about you?”

Her eyes are light full of care like they always were, intently listening, “Well uh, moved to London with Harry, got jobs at teachers, wound up having our son, Liam. But um…things just didn’t work out in the end, we tried for a long time-we both cared, did our best to be honest, to try and meet each other half way. It just wasn’t meant to be,” she shrugs, “He is still my best friend-.”

“Does he know you’re here?”

“Number one, he isn’t my keeper, and two, he’s the father of my child…I think the whole reason we stayed together for so long was because he was my friend first, and foremost should’ve stayed that way-and he agreed to move back here with me, I never really wanted to move anyway.”

“Why did you go then?” To get away from your shadow. She thought. 

“It’s complicated…it’s why I asked you here, to talk to you, to be honest, because I wasn’t back in the beginning, I just need you to listen, and then you can talk.” she starts, chewing on her bottom lip nervously as her thumbs brush the sleeve of her cardboard cup. “I couldn’t marry him, he…he wanted that and I couldn’t give it to him. I almost…wanted him in a way to spite you, to show you that someone could want me that way, I was waiting for you to say something, for you to be honest, for you to confess, instead of just telling you the truth about how I felt-I ran away.” tears gleam in her eyes, “Because I loved you, I-I always will, I loved him but he wasn’t you. I was with him longer than the time we had, Rocco but…our time together-our friendship, everything, meant the world to me. I’ve never been closer to someone, never felt so vulnerable, and even if that wasn’t true. I just…I’ve had my heart set on you.” 

Rocco speechless, staring at her like his brain wasn’t quite computing what she had just said to him. Because it was everything he wanted to hear, “Are-are you done?” he questions, a furrow in his brow while he scans her features, lingering on her lips for a moment. She nods, slowly, their eyes connected, “I’m sorry.”

“No-don’t be.”

“Just let me talk too, okay?” Rocco asked, he wasn’t mean or angry, it was gentle, like he was just trying to level with her, gesturing his hand forward in that he does, “I should’ve been honest too, I-I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you-I distracted myself but it was never enough-I couldn’t be completely myself with my ex, Marina. It felt wrong, it felt like I was doing it with the wrong person. I don’t regret the time apart because you and I, we were naive, we-we needed time to find ourselves, to have our kids…to realize how much we had to lose.” he clears his throat, breathing out shakily, “I just thought Harry would be better for you, that he could provide you with what I couldn’t. I just…didn’t know you wanted me to be more.”

“I always did.” she whispers, glancing down shyly, “I thought you were so cool and hot back then and just didn’t want to mess that up by being too clingy.”

He nods, his eyes softening as he leans into his elbows on the table, moving in closer to her, she has the urge to meet him halfway, “I always thought you were…” Adam's apple bobs as he chews the inside of his top lip. “You were always so perfect, and…there’s been no one like that-just so…you.” he gently shakes his head, blue eyes intense, looking lighter with the sunset flitting in, “You don’t know how much I’ve thought about you.” 

Her eyes darted off to the side before meeting his, her lips spreading while into a smile that would’ve struck his knees. Before he could say something, she said, “I don’t…” 

“So much that I got a junk phone just so I could find your Facebook.” Rocco confesses, then winces at how weird that sounded. But then she giggles, grinning with her gleaming eyes crinkling at the sides, he can’t stop looking at her, all of his other expressions frozen like he was stuck in that moment, “No, you’re not allowed to smile at me like that.”

“What?” she questions, humor in her voice as she almost sits on the edge of her seat. “What am I doing?”

Rocco retorts, “Seriously, how are you even more pretty?” He watches her bashfully look down while flushing hot-the cards turning, her confidence dwindling into words spilling out of her mouth. 

“What are you talking about?” she tries not to scoff but she does. It wasn’t that her ex didn’t affirm her, it just it always felt hollow-like he had to say it because he loved her, not loving her and letting the words fall out of his mouth like syrup. 

He gave her a playful glare, his hand sat on the table before sliding over across the middle, “You’re not gonna do the whole I’m not beautiful thing, you know you can’t do that with me.” Rocco said, as she anxiously takes her bottom lip between her teeth, he has the urge to pluck it away. 

“You’re still stubborn.” she retorts, as he shrugs with a chagrin.

“Probably more.” he shrugs, before leaning back in his chair, she realizes his chair is pretty close as he stretches his leg out-not in her space but almost-like he was at the edge of oblivion. 

“I can see that,” she said, this time she rests her elbows on the table, remembering she had a drink in front of her, clasping it with a hand before she brings it up to her mouth. 

A normal person would look away, or say something as they looked at her, but not Rocco. He just sat with his arms crossed over his broad chest with a firm appreciative gaze that penetrates her soul. Then she sets down the cup, glancing around the shop, “Do you wanna get out of here?” she asked. 

Before they knew it, Rocco led her down the slowly darkening street from the late February season, leading to her car that was parked into a secluded plot with other cars-seemingly empty. His hand in hers as he leads her, she glances around to see if anyone sees them. When they get in front of the same car that he’s had since he was twenty, “Rocco.” he turns around to glance at her, while she clasps her palms against his cheeks before pulling him down into a passionate kiss. He stumbles back, smiling, as his hands come to her waist and she pushes him back against the trunk of his car. 

Y/n’s bust pressing to his chest as he groans at the sensation, his hands moving along her back as their lips move together, her hands slipping back into his hair, “The car.” he sighs against her lips while she starts trailing kisses down his jaw. “Baby, wait.”

“I missed you so much,” she whispers, he nods before gently pecking her lips, unlocking the back seat for her, and opening it for her. She smiles before tucking down into her, he shakes his head, gently swatting at her ass. She laughs, moving back, her dress parting, it was just above the knee, but enough to reveal some of her thigh. God-just a little of skin never riled him up but just seeing her in person made Rocco’s mind go crazy. 

He presses his knees to the leather of his car, before shutting the door behind him, thankful that the windows were tinted. Rocco moves in closer before wrapping an arm around her back and tugging her down until she is under him while pressing his hips to hers to feel his obvious erection. “I-I look different now.” she comments.

“Hmm, fucking can’t wait to see.” Rocco affirms, lips sliding down her neck as her fingers clutch at his hair, legs wrapping around his waist. His palms moved the fabric of her dress up her thighs, to see her plush thighs with little marks that he wanted to sink his teeth into before trailing up to see her dark maroon lace panties. “Fuck,” he sucks at her neck, not marking then her fingers dig into his leather coat. 

“Take it off.” she begs, pushing it off his shoulders, he presses his shoulders back to help and throws it off to the ground. Her hands go to his belt, quickly undoing it as he glances down at her, breathing heavy.

“Wait-.” he said, cupping her cheek before gently touching his lips to hers his tongue licking at the seam. She moans, “Let me eat this pretty pussy.” 

“Oh my god-.” she flushes, tipping her head back as he mouths at her throat. “You sound so filthy.”

He trails his nose to her ear, lips wet, “You like it.” he husks, before moving down to her collarbones, kissing over the crevices before his hands move her dress up her body. Only for a second was she nervous, but then the material was off and his eyes were fixed on her. Before he moved down to kiss at her body, palms splaying against her soft stomach, feeling each curve, before kissing up to her dark blue bralette that stretches across her tits and dips down almost all the way to her sternum-god if he knew. “Made yourself all pretty for me, didn’t you?”

“Y-yes.” she mutters, her hand brushing at his long brown hair, while his fingers slide up her shoulder before slipping down the strap, he kisses his way up as it drops down her shoulder. Before peeling the other one down while his lips trail along the top of the opposite breasts. Then he pulls the material up her body, arms going up, revealing her teardrop breasts, that he had missed so much.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans, hands grasping at them, the tissue feeling his palms, gently spilling out through his fingers while he kisses over the crevice of her breast. Then framing her tit, he takes a nipple into his mouth, lulling his tongue around the tip, before making a puckering sound as he separates-he pays the other the same attention. 

“God, Ro-we don’t have time.” she whines, while he glares up at her but knows she was right, so squeezing them a few more times, before he moves between her legs, grasping at her thighs and separating. Then he kisses along the marks, “Ro-I don’t wanna be caught.”

“Need more time with you.”

“You have all of it now, I promise.” she promises, while he still hooks his fingers into her panties before dragging them down. 

Their gaze intense, he pauses to slowly rise up to her, a different sheen in his eyes, “And after?”

“Forever.” she promises, slipping her hand against the side of his neck to kiss him. 

“Let me just have a taste, make sure you’re real wet.” he counters, she nods a small squeak and her thighs squeezing eagerly, there’s a slight scrunch to his nose before he dives back down, first tugging her plushy thigh into his mouth with his teeth, kissing his way to her vagina. Then  licking a fat stripe up along her vulva, her fingers dragging along his back, catching the material of his shirt and trying to remove it, he presses back to throw it off. She moans as his lips latch on to her clit, while her fingers run down his strong shoulders that's littered with freckles. 

“Oh-.” she whimpers, her other hand clutching at his hair as she curls up as the pleasure stokes through her. She needed him right now, “Rocco, now.” she begs, and he pulls away from her cunt to rise up, pushing down his jeans, leaning over to grab his shirt.

“Lift your hips baby, gotta put something under you.” he notes, before he takes his boxers down with his thighs revealing his hard cock, her core aches at the sight, she squirms at the pleasure from mere proximity. “I’m not gonna last, Y/n/n.”

“Please, fuck me, Rocco, I need you.” she pleads, scrapping her nails down his tummy, soft muscles, his body strong filled out, broad shoulders. Every inch of him made her want him more as he hovered above her, he pressed her thighs up, lacing them around his waist before pressing his cock into her entrance. She gasps at the intrusion, hands sliding up his chest and around his neck as he fills her. His eyes roll back along his head when he finally fills her, “Oh my god, you’re so-. Ro.”

“I know.” he murmurs against her lips, deciding that after pushing her to the hilt that he would give a moment to adjust. Their mouths moving together, something slow that demonstrated the patience-longing over the years that was unspoken-subcocious. Now broken out of its confines, the truth laid on the table, and his body intertwined with hers. “I love you so much.” he sighs, before hiding his face along her throat as he kisses her, his cheeks growing hotter-redder against her skin at his confession. It was implied, in between the lines, but not said. 

Before she can reply he starts thrusting, soft sounds falling out of both of their mouths, the sensation of his voice grumbling against her neck drives her crazy. He starts pumping harder against her, desperately needing her, “Oh god-.” he breathes out, skin slapping, slick with sweat, the car rocking with their movements as she clings on to him like she never wanted to let go-and she didn’t. It’s relentless, making her back arch into him, digging her fingers into his back, nails following as he hits just the right spot.

“Don’t stop-.”

“I’m close baby-god I’m sorry, so fucking tight-so good.” he rambles, mouths meeting once again while her pussy soaks his length with her arousal-his hand coming down between them to rub her clit. Her hips twitch into his touch as he feels the coil begin to tighten in his core, the muscles in his stomach shaking, cock pulsating. She cries out when her high takes her, trembling beneath him, his eyes on her, memorizing every moment.

“I love you, Rocco, I love you so much, please come.” The groan that leaves his mouth is deep and loud with a trembling voice, while his come shoots out of his length and fills her. Her pussy milking his cock as her walls flutter and clench, he slows his movements, grinding forward to draw it out. 

“I love you.” he repeats, finally being able to say the words after so long he doesn't know if he’ll ever stop.