#lettersfromk

I haven’t written a letter in some time, but I think this really needs to be said: Your recent behaviour on line is inappropriate and completely unprofessional.

I understand you’re in grad school, congratulations. Grad school teaches you a lot, and you can get to be an expert at all kinds of things. Neurology, psychology, statistical methods, research ethics, and some of the fascinating things we know about human behaviour. I see you’re excited to help a lot of people, and that’s really great.

But I think that before you go into practice, there’s something you really really need to know. That Doctoral degree doesn’t make you God. It does not in any way give you the right to tell people how to live their lives. It doesn’t.

You’re an expert in all kinds of things, but I can guarantee you that one thing you aren’t an expert on is your clients’ lived experience. Only one person is an expert on that, and it’s your client.

That being said, let’s consider self-diagnosis. There are dozens of reasons why a person might choose to self-diagnose before seeing a professional, or instead of seeing a professional at all and, regardless of your thoughts on the validity of self-diagnosis in an academic sense, the bottom line is that it’s that person’s choice, not yours, and harassing someone about it is not okay.

If you’re concerned about the rates of self-diagnosis in North America (and I think you should be), then perhaps instead of attacking individuals with mental health concerns, maybe you could consider that every behaviour has its antecedent. There is a huge level of mistrust in the medical establishment at all levels of practice in North America. Why might that be the case?

Maybe it has to do with professionals who get themselves a degree and think that it gives them the right ignore their clients’ experience, treat them as inferior, and harass individuals with mental health-related conditions online. Maybe it’s because people with mental health conditions are used to the psychologist’s/psychiatrist’s office being an unsafe space where they are belittled and treated as less than human.

There are all kinds of things we can do as professionals to help educate people and point them in the direction of resources that might help them, but the kind of comments and reblogs that I’ve seen coming from this group are exactly the opposite. Therapeutic relationships are built on the basis of unconditional positive regard, respect, and compassion. If you can’t handle individuals online with that kind of behaviour, and instead choose to harass and antagonize them, then I’m very concerned for your future clinical practice.

You’re going in to be professionals. If you’ve got problems with self-diagnosis and why it happens, then I invite you to check out your behaviour and consider your practice. Because it’s looking to me like you’re part of the problem.

Yours very sincerely,

Thank you for your tasty goodness. I wish your joys were not so fleeting, but the joy of your presence is worth the pain of your parting.

Much love and adoration,

Thank you for making the thesis-writing process easier to deal with. You are amazing and this music is life-giving.

Nice job,

Hey there. Thanks for picking up this letter, stranger. I want you to know how lovely the world can be. Take a moment. Breathe deep. Smell the free air. Feel your chest expand with life. Close your eyes. Feel the wind ruffling your hair, caressing your face. Sort through the files in your mind. Find your favorite. Pull it out, take a look. remember how it made you feel. 

The world can be a scary place sometimes, I know. Other people, your own head, crazy big things that we don’t get trained for and don’t have any control over. Sometimes it feels like there’s so much wrong out there that we can’t even begin to sort out how we could ever make it right. I know.

It will not be this way forever. Take my hand. You don’t have to know where we’re going, I don’t either. We just need to walk. One foot in front of the other. We just need to lift up our heads and see the green grass and wild world on the side of the road. Hear the whisper of beauty all around us. Find light in the small places. Hold on tight, to ourselves, to each other.

Thanks for picking up this letter, stranger. I hope it helps you to know that I am here, and that we can be alright. May harmony find you.

Yours very truly,

Hello, fair one. I hope this letter finds you in good spirits and health. I've been thinking about you a bit lately, and wanted to extend my thanks and gratitude for a few things. 

As you know, I've been having some difficulty sleeping lately, and it's been a bit of a source of stress. I think I've finally fixed up a decent bedtime routine for myself, and I wanted to let you know that the meditation and positive thinking I do before sleeping was largely inspired by your discussion of otherkin. Bringing the places my soul feels most at ease into my mind before sleep has been a great comfort to me, and I wanted to thank you for putting the idea in my mind. 

I would also like to thank you for your constant positivity and affirmation. The world is sometimes a nasty place, as I know you well know, and I have been trying for a long time to put aside my cloak of anger and come to true acceptance and peace in many aspects of my life. I'm pleased to say that it's been an upward journey for the most part, but it's not always easy, and your excitement and interest in me and my life always touches me deeply. I know that good words are not always easy to find, and I sincerely appreciate that you use some of your supply to pass some on to me. 

I hope you know that you are one of the wonderful people in the world. You have so much light to share with the world, so much compassion and empathy, and I feel privileged to share in some small part of your story. 

Yours in peace and harmony,