i have three journals and a genre-less book which is really also a journal, but someone else's, beside me in bed. my cat loki is leaning on my leg sleeping, comfortably, with one paw out reaching for my feet. my hands feel a little cold and very dry. feet- also feel cold but not dry. its 1:54 am.
i have therapy tomorrow morning at 10. first session with this new woman, im nervous. anyway- i want to put it out there my intentions for this blog quickly before i go to sleep. and then start um blogging. firstly i am not a writer or wouldn't call myself one. i don't expect people to read this and that's not the purpose anyway. i actually hate being perceived online. it makes me anxious. i journal somewhat often- in there i'm able to show a bit of personality and dont think /too/ hard about how it sounds. but online or in some social settings its hard for me to put myself out there and not overthink how i said something or how im acting. i still worry about someone reading my journal. i need an outlet to help not care so much while also documenting my life and trying to be more mindful about my days and honest about my thoughts and feelings. more intentional i guess. ya know what i mean? yep yep eyp cool cool coolcool. soo! yes. more intentional creative and stuff. i went to london two years ago and got into a interaction with an older man who was. im getting really tired and i think im going to start rambling so ill end this here.
just remembered i did one of those write a letter to your future self in 5 years. i wonder what i wrote to myself, i dont know when i sent it. hm.
cheers to putting myself out there (anonymously),
sincerely me and my yawns.
