Keeping on the upwards spiral
This topic is one I recently brushed upon on my Instagram, but there is so much more to say. So, the idea is when you get a negative thought you should imagine your own little mind shredder and move that thought to it and watch it tear apart into nothing, into something that doesnât need worrying about. Well, thatâs definitely a lot easier said than done, some negative thoughts are minor, and you can do that, but many are big and sticky. For myself, a negative thought has always proved difficult to let go of, and itâs fair to say that one negative thought, no matter how major or minor, can lead you to feeling a whole bunch of other thingsâŚ
d) Â Â Thinking of more negatives
j) Â Â Â All of the above?
Itâs not easy being able to control your train of thought, but it is easy to run away with it down that negative spiral. We donât want that, we want to keep on the upwards spiral, the spiral of positivity, where positivity leads to more positivity. To do this we have to try and turn any negative we encounter into positives in order to prevent slipping back down (slipping a bit is normal, but itâs making sure you can grab on and carry on up).
Okay, youâre probably stressing out over this and thinking youâve now got to be positive 24/7 and never let anything phase you. No, thatâs not the case, the idea is to take off your metaphorical sad glasses and put on your positive ones, you donât have to wear them all the time, but isnât it everyoneâs aim to be a little happier and see things a lot lighter? What I want to try and do is use what Iâve learnt to help some of you to change your mindset, to not feel so trapped in negativity. Because thatâs what it feels like, I know, its hard to see a way out or to imagine being able to think of things in a better way, but it is possible, it just takes time.
Letâs talk about those small negatives, the middle ground ones, those that stick but donât necessarily need to ruin your whole day or week. An example of this could be failing a test, burning your cake, or it rains on your birthday. At the time of these things happening, it can lead to a total freak-out, a screaming, crying, punching the air and feeling hopeless moment. But the key is not dwelling on it too long. You canât let things get to you too much, things that donât need that much attention. Iâm one to talk because I know I let all the things get to me, but itâs something Iâm changing and learning about, hence why Iâm here today talking to you. I will never not tell you to allow whatever youâre feeling to come out, feel that emotion, lift that weight off your shoulders for a minute, youâre allowed to do that you know. But itâs knowing when to stop, to calm down, to assess the situation, and to think differently.
Alright so, you failed that test, the big assignment, you didnât close the deal, or your boss got pissed, whatever scenario like that, youâre now freaking out. You feel angry and upset and you let that emotion come in and sit with you, this has no timeframe essentially, feel something for as long as you need to, but what Iâm saying is donât let it linger over you all day, or week, its not good to go to bed on feelings of negativity, if youâve ever done that youâll know why ( you feel like utter rubbish again the next day, and the cycle begins, youâre slipping down the spiral and its hard to see that ledge to cling to). So, after you feel that emotion, take a breather! Calm your mind and your body, you donât need that much stress, itâs not fun, so why let yourself continue to feel like that? Yeah, I thought so. Now here comes the tricky bit, you need to assess the situation, assess the level of negativity it truly is and try to change it. Okay, its ok, no one likes failing, but how can we stop dwelling on the bad so we can get up, move on, and continue being the badass that we are? We have to turn it into some form of a positive. See the glass half full and not half empty. With my exampleâŚ
The situation: You failed a test/something at work
The assessment: Will it affect the rest of your life? Will you be able to move on? Can you manage this negative situation instead of letting it beat you?
The positive/solution: This isnât the end of your life or career, itâs a learning experience to improve, itâs given you something to focus your energy on, something that can lead to positives. So is it all that negative, no not really, not in the long run.
I get it, itâs not always that simple, but thatâs the idea. Feel what you need to, then assess the damage, assess the severity, then find your positive, your solution to stopping falling down the negative spiral. As soon as you take a breather to assess it, youâve stopped slipping, and as soon as you find even the smallest positive, youâre heading straight back up.
The real key is not letting yourself fall into the pit at the bottom of the spiral, thatâs when you lose most motivation to even try climbing back up, we donât want that. So, donât dwell too long, look out for yourself and care for your mind. Deep down you donât want to feel negative and you know it, its just all about changing your mindset.
Now, I better talk to you about the big negatives, the ones that will undoubtably make you slip and fall, but donât always lead to the bottom. Some examples may be losing a family member or friend, losing your job, or your cat dies. These are sad, disheartening moments which will set you back, some more than others, but thereâs no doubt theyâll leave you with some sticky negative thoughts. Key again, feel that sadness, that anger, whatever it is, and you donât have to be done in a day or week, this is a longer process, and donât worry, feel how you need to for however long you need. The big part here is knowing your limits, grabbing the ledge so you donât slip too far and turn into sadness from inside out. You have to assess yourself. Itâs not healthy to remain in a state of negativity for too long, and sadly those around you wonât like it either, let alone what your own mind and body may be thinking. So, you have to learn whatâs right and healthy for you, to begin that climb back up, no matter how long it takes to just get started. Try and turn a negative to a positive, like losing your job, maybe it wasnât the best fit for you, could there be something better, was the workload too much, commute too long. You get the point, but yes, what if it was the perfect job? Then you still have to try, everything does happen for a reason and a better opportunity may arise, that was not your path and sometimes you do have to accept that. If you canât change the negatives to positives, you have to just be positive in general, and not let it dampen you. Do positive things, things that make you happy, care for yourself, see friends, family, anything you need to just start that climb back up again. The smallest positive action, or positive thought will lead to another and another, you just have to hold on tight and climb.
I became very depressed after the loss of my mum and didnât grab a hold, heading straight to the bottom, making it even more difficult to turn around and climb up. But overtime Iâve learnt to see things differently, to do things that make me happy, and to surround myself with love and support. The journey will not be easy, it is long, and it is hard, but have to have determination and you will get there, donât lose hope, each journey has its own story, its own time frame. Donât think you canât ever slip down again, you can slip, that ok, just as I said, but donât let it go too far. This is all about caring for yourself and understanding when something turns toxic and unhealthy for you.
You donât have to climb mount Everest every day to show progress. There is no end, no âonce I get here, Iâll be completeâ. A better and healthier and more positive you is a continuous growth, it is ever changing and infinite, so donât give up, keep going because you know your loving that feeling youâve got inside you, so why stop now.
