#ler!simon

Rocky’s high-pitched cackling rings out as I chase him down the corridor, through ‘The Don’t Go Crazy Room.' He veers into the lab, his claws clanging against the floor.

I jump forward, tackling him to the ground as we roll across the floor with momentum. I hear Grace yelp at the sudden noise and commotion, turning to look at us. We scramble in a heap, pushing, pulling, and hitting each other. 

I grab an arm and he lets me pin it to the floor as I push at his carapace. Suddenly two claws are hugging my middle and he flips me hard onto my stomach.

“Simon not win! Rocky too strong!” The alien smugly says from above me. He smashes a claw into my face, pushing and squishing my cheek. 

I hear Grace laugh at my expense in the background…but it's different. He laughs differently when he's actually amused. Normally it's loud and bright. Today it's quieter, like he's trying not to interrupt us. I don't know why I noticed that.

“Not fair! You have more arms!” I argue as I push my legs underneath myself, straining against his weight.

“Not Rocky fault human design poor.” He lets up, allowing me to try to turn the tables, as adrenaline-filled giggles spill from me. “Simon should not have ‘missed place’ other arm either.” There’s a teasiness to his chords.

“I did NOT fucking ‘misplace’ my other arm, you-oversized-paperweight!" Excitement comes from him in response. He thinks he soooo funny.

I grab a claw, lacing our digits together, and push against his arm. I try to plant my knees, but he easily slides me across the floor just by walking into me.

My smile grows, baring my sharp canines at Rocky, letting out a playful growl from my chest. He returns the noise, mimicking it with a low rumbling sound, making me feel a little silly. This all makes me feel silly. But in a good way.

"Oh, you're gonna get it for that!” It’s supposed to sound at least a little threatening, but the stupid smile stuck on my face and the way my hair is a mess and sticking out every which way make it seem anything but.

I rip my arm away from his and pull back. He raises three of his, following defensively. I find an opening and strike at his carapace with force. He freezes and dramatically falls to the floor, clawing at the air like he’s clawing at heaven above.

“Ow. Simon got Rocky. Dead.” He flops over, legs going rigid, letting out little fake pained trills. I cover my smile, snickering at his acting skills. He can be so silly sometimes.

I give Grace a brief glance, but he’s stopped laughing and is just staring. I force myself to pull my eyes away.

I dramatically collapse into Rocky. “Ugh, I think you got me too, Rock. Drawl?” I offer but his arms immediately curl around my middle and squeeze. 

“Rocky lie! Rocky win!” He shouts, flipping me over on my stomach again, pinning me down.

“Ah-shit! No fair!” I laugh, reaching back to grab him, but he just settles on my back, sitting on top and sprawling his legs out while carefully avoiding my wagging tail. He settles on his new seat with a satisfying hum.

“Simon very hyper today.” My cheeks go a little red at the comment as I succumb to Rocky’s weight. I lay, catching my breath, enjoying the cold floor of the ship on my face. I feel two claws start to rub at my upper back and shoulders, making me melt further into the cool surface.

"Well, I’m clearly not the only one.” I argue with a grin. We’ve been going at it for a good thirty minutes now and I’m not going to complain.

I flip my head over and look at Grace again. He seems to notice and forces a smile back onto his face.

“I would join but you guys would break me.” He lets out a low chuckle. It's true. After whatever the hell happened with me physically, I seem to have gotten a bit stronger. Unusually stronger, and I seem to have gotten a bit…tougher? Hits that would have normally hurt don't as much. This is what allows me and Rocky to play so rough. 

“Yes. Grace squishy.” Rocky adds and starts rubbing a claw through my hair as well, smoothing it back into place. I smirk at what Rocky said, but Grace’s smile seems to falter.

“I want a rematch," I huff, squirming from underneath Rocky.

“Oh. Simon want to loose again, question?” That cocky little alien! “Rocky give Simon…five human second head start.” He crawls off of me and helps me up. I swerve on my heels, not wasting any of my head start. 

Rocky lets me run. He started doing that awhile ago. At first I thought he was getting slower, maybe from the strain of space. Turns out he was giving me a head start. I never asked him to. I don't think he needed me to. He just knew I loved that part. Makes me feel light and airy, like I’m not stuck on a ship barreling through space.

I sprint to the dormitory, Rocky hot on my heels. I feel the air pushing through my light shirt and into my gills, filling my burning chest. My head feels scrambled but elated and my limbs are loose. It feels so nice. So different than what I used to feel.

“Human so slow! Need more legs!” He calls after me, making giddy anticipation flow through me. 

"I'll let our human manufacturer know!” I remark back. Who knew wrestling with a rock would be so fun. Who knew wrestling in general could be fun, actually?

It seemed so scary. The first time Rocky pinned me, I thought I was going to die. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was worried Rocky wouldn’t stop. That if it got to be too much, I wouldn’t be able to do anything. But when I frantically called out, he stilled and held me softly. Now I don't even think about it. Funny how that happens.

I make it into the room and spin to stare at Rocky, trapped with only one exit. My eyes frantically looking from him to the door.

“Simon in corner. Make Rocky victory easy!” 

“Oh yeah? Don’t get too ahead of yourself! I’m gonna throw you out the airlock!" He lets out pitchy laughter.

“Yes! Affectionate threat!” He laughs, not the polite trills he gives everyone else. It's a loud squeaky noise. The one that vibrates through him and into me. I didn't think he could sound like that when we first met. Turns out he can, usually because of me. He trills as I frown a bit at the failed threat. He slowly stalks toward me, claws raised. We rotate around each other, stupid giggles coming from both of us. 

I hear the door open and see Grace slip into the room with a laptop. I raise a brow. Rocky seems to have stilled at his sudden appearance as well. He settles in the bed and starts typing something, oddly quiet.

Hm.

I turn back to Rocky, running at him while he’s distracted. He jumps with a squeak and catches me in his arms, claws tightly gripping me.

“Simon! Carful! Simon balance not good!” He pulls me forward into his carapace. “Carless.”

"Well, I knew you would catch me.” He doesn’t deny it. Annoyed grumbles come from him as he, gently this time, throws me back to the floor. 

Gentle coos from Rocky make me look up at him. “Simon very cute when like this.” A claw comes up to trace around my face and squish at my cheek again. He brushes my hair out of my eyes, making a soft sound of amusement. I feel my face get warm at the compliment and grumble, my chest heaving in and out as I try and catch my breath.

I lie for a moment and notice how Grace is no longer typing. He is just looking off at us again. Nothing new seems to have been added to the screen of the laptop since I glanced over last, only to start back up again frantically.

“Simon looking at Grace a lot.” And to prove him right, I quickly look between Grace and Rocky to make sure he didn't hear him.

“Am not." I feel my face warm even more.

“Looking a lot, statement.” 

“Shut up.” I grumble as I scramble back to my feet and try to book it to the now unblocked exit. Rocky quickly and frantically grabs one of my legs, trying to keep me here with him, and I slip.

“OW—!!!” I fall face first, hard, like very hard, into the wall of the Hail Mary, bouncing off right back onto the floor. “Ugh…fuck…” My hand shoots to my face, checking to see if I broke my nose. 

A rather loud, alarmed noise comes from Rocky and he scrambles to my head, grabbing my face again. He turns it to face up at him, another small squeak coming from him; I'm assuming it's at the damage.

“Ah apology apology! Was accident!” He pulls me up and I feel my nose start to bleed. The warm liquid starts flowing down my face, the familiar taste of iron on my lips. I don't think it's broken; the pain isn't all that awful either but I have a feeling I'll have a killer headache in a few hours.

“One day, you guys are going to put a hole in the ship.” Grace retorts with a small smile from the bed, but Rocky seems to entirely ignore him. I see him frown and slouch when no response comes.

He anxiously pets at my head and even pinches off my nose for me as I let out a laugh, squeezing my eyes shut. He really must be sorry; it's not often he willingly touches our leaky human fluids on purpose. 

“Not funny! Simon hurt!” He taps his leg against the floor for emphasis, but I just laugh even more. I peek my eyes open and see that three of his claws are busy holding me, so he has to balance on the other two.

Feeling rather playful still, probably from all the adrenaline from being chased and then almost knocking myself out, I bring my legs up and push him out with my feet as hard as I can. The move manages to make him stumble back and I scramble to my feet, talking off once again.

I hear Rocky anxiously call after me, “Simon! Stop running! Hurt! No play!” But I just continue to giggle, making my way back to the lab. I bring my hand up to my nose, trying to stop bleeding all over the ship as I run, but my god, it’s hard to run with one arm when that arm is occupied with something else.

I feel my balance tilt, almost tripping over my feet and falling again as Rocky lets out a startled whistle in response.

“Simon will hurt himself again! Stop running now!” He might have been right about my balance after all. 

He corners me again, but I can tell he really is trying to block my exit this time. I shift from right to left, but he just moves closer.

“Simon…not playing.” He scolds, his vents hissing.

“I’m fine.” He angrily taps a claw against the floor.

“Not fine. Leaking important fluid.” He slowly advances. “No escape.”

“Very ominous.” I lower myself a little, trying to take back some space but Rocky holds his position. Another grin comes across my face and I hear Rocky let out an annoyed hum in response.

“Simon too hyper.” Mean…but fair.

But once again, Grace comes into the room. He looks awkward as we both freeze to look at him again. He opens some random cabinet, bringing his hand up to his chin as if thinking hard about what he’s looking for. Then he closes it, taking nothing. He lingers with our attention on him. Why is he still here? He clearly didn't find what he was looking for.

“Glad you guys are having fun.” I see his ears flush as he mutters an apology for interrupting. His ears always go red before the rest of his face. He settles at one of the tables in the lab, shuffling through random papers. There’s a small frown on his face and his eyebrows are knitted together. I’m surprised he didn’t go back to the dorm. He never brought the laptop back here with him.

Suddenly I’m tossed on my back to the floor again with a yelp.

“Simon stay.” Rocky says firmly. I smile at him again and a frustrated chirp rings out. “Rocky mean it.” He presses a claw into my chest, pushing hard. I wheeze as he forces the air out of my lungs.

“Okay okay. I’ll stay.” He huffs and skitters off but stops wearily for a moment to see if I’ll take off again before actually leaving.

I find Grace's eyes again, but he looks away once more. A frown fights its way into my happy features at his odd behavior.

My attention turns to Rocky as he returns holding some towels. He helps me sit up and places a towel on my face and starts scrubbing softly. 

“Thank you.” I sigh, and he pulls my head closer to him. He traces around my face with another claw, rubbing my forehead where it slammed against the wall. He’s so gentle. It’s weird to be treated so delicately after everything I’ve gone through.

“Apology.” He pushes into my beard and mustache, cleaning away the thick red liquid that stains the hair there.

“It’s okay, Rock. It was an accident.” I’m a little worried this one-off accident will stop our little fights in the future. I don’t know what I’ll do if he insists on this. It’s the most fun I’ve had in years.

“I guess you won again.” I reach up and glide a hand over his carapace. He pulls away from my face for a moment. I run my hand along his plates, along the cracks of his body. His vents flutter with a whistle.

“Simon can not hurt Rocky.” He purrs into my hand, enjoying the attention. He caught me.

“I know. Just a habit.” Just to make sure.

I look to Grace, who is staring again and he quickly looks away, fumbling with something on the lab table. Every time Rocky touches me, he looks and then immediately finds something incredibly interesting somewhere else. Once again, a frown crosses his features, but he doesn’t look angry. I quirk an eyebrow up at him as he tries to sneak a glance back at me. He stands up quickly and speed-walks out of the room. 

Weird.

“Why Grace unhappy, question?” Rocky asks. “Sound sad.” He pushes my face towards the sky, wiping down my chin and neck.

“He isn’t.” I squint in Rocky's direction, tilting my head down just for Rocky to push it back up again with a hum. I feel the blood in my nose start to run down the back of my throat.

“Grace watch us.”

“He always watches us.” I cringe and swallow at the feeling, tasting the liquid in my throat.

“No. Different watching. Not normal.” He trills. His carapace cocks to the side, vents shifting.

“…”

I sit, thinking back to his weird actions. The little comments he’s made over this hour of playing. I have a theory.

“Yeah. Maybe he is. A little.” 

“Why, question?” His trills are low and full of worry. 

“I think he may be a little jealous, Rock.” I smile while looking back down; it’s a little endearing. And a little childish.

“Of what, question?” 

“I think about how we can roughhouse together. Be close physically in ways he can’t…and he just has to sit there and watch.” I feel a pang of sadness thinking about how we unknowingly were leaving him out. It's something I should have noticed before.

He pushes the towel back to my face as more blood seems to dribble from my nose.

“Rocky Simon should include Grace in play. Need Grace happy.” I immediately picture Rocky throwing Grace down to the floor or through a wall and grimace. Rocky's and my idea of pretend wrestling is similar, but to Grace it was probably different. Gentle and light. I would be scared to hold such a delicate being like Grace the way I do with Rocky. So scared to break him.

“I need him happy too.” I mumble into the towel.

The thought of Grace feeling left out on his own ship worms deeper into my brain. I go quiet, pulling at a few locks of hair and shifting them between my fingers in thought. 

“I have another idea, Rock.” It comes out nasally and I close my eyes again, leaning into Rocky’s touch.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ🛸༄˖°.

Rocky and I are fooling around again. Nothing like the play fighting a few days ago, just wrestling in one spot. Pushing and pulling against each other while on one of the beds. Rocky works as an outlet for all the cooped-up energy flowing through me and I appreciate every second of it. Although I was in prison, and being stuck in a confined space is not new to me in the slightest, my new situation (or maybe my mutations) seems to have flipped some sort of switch in me. I get in these moods where I just can't sit still and I gotta move. 

A moment later Grace walks into the dormitory. We both turn toward him, and Grace freezes. 

"Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you guys were in here.” I see his eyes look over us, analyzing how Rocky has his claw in mine, pushing me against the mattress. The smile on my face and disheveled hair and clothes. Once again his face falls.

I frown and Rocky lets me up. I slide off the bed and stand, staring him down. Rocky shifts his carapace in Grace's direction, letting out a low rumble.

“W-what?” an anxious smile makes its way to his face. His glasses slip down his nose. He looks nervous, his hands suddenly fidgeting together. We stand in silence for a moment. I catch his eyes and stare deep into them.

“What Grace fastest running speed, question?” Amusement laces Rocky’s chords and Grace raises a brow, his worried smile falling ever so slightly.

“...why?” He takes a step back as Rocky climbs off the bed as well.

“No reason!~” I growl in response, Rocky and I creeping toward him. My tail flicks lightly as the anticipation builds between the three of us.

Everyone goes still for a moment. Silence settles around us. I see the gears turn in his head while a giddy smile makes its way to his face.

Grace makes the first move, fleeing as fast as he can. He climbs the ladder with shocking speed and sprints down the other way to the ship. I quickly follow, but the ladder slows me down. I’m kinda happy about that; the chase is one of the best parts in my opinion.

“Friend Grace! Come back!” Rocky chirps as we run after him, who is now anxiously giggling. Loud thumps echo through the ship as we make it to the lab. 

Me and Rocky have him cornered. Grace turns as his back presses against the wall, hands held up and open defensively. His face is warped between a worried and playful expression.

“W-wait! Guys—!” I close the distance and he lets out a squeak as I hoist him over my shoulder. He's surprisingly light, which only makes me think back to how breakable he is compared to me and Rocky. He squirms and kicks at me, already pleading frantically. God, he's so dramatic.

"I've captured the captain, Rock.” I smile as his squirming picks up more. I feel as he pulls at my shirt, clawing at my back.

“Good, good, good.” 

I bring him over to Rocky and gently place him on the floor. Rocky immediately grabs his arms and pulls them over his head as I settle on his waist. Grace looks scared, more than I thought he would.

“C-comon guys! Two on one isn't fair! A-and I’m not as strong—your gonna hurt—“

“Grace too fragile for wrestling, statement." Rocky trills out snickers and I watch Grace's face turn a little red. It hurts a little to think he would believe we would actually do something to hurt him.

“Hey!” he squeaks out. “I’m not ‘fragile’!”

“Grace space blob.”

“ROCKY.” The hue of his cheeks seems to deepen. 

"It's true," I agree, nodding my head. “Very blob-like. You barely have a structure…" I punctuate my sentence with a soft squeeze to the pudge on his stomach, making him squeak. “I mean, one hit from me or Rocky and you'd explode."

“I-im not that weak, okay. You're gravely exaggerating my dexterity!” I see as he pulls at his arms. “You have mutant strength; that's not fair! You'd be a blob like me without it!” I huff out a laugh in response.

“Oh yeah?” His eyes flick to mine, and he nods his head nervously. I furrow my brows at him and watch a hint of smugness make its way to his face in the form of a tiny grin.

“One safe combat option remaining.” Rocky says as Grace tries to throw me off. I place my fingers in his outstretched hollow, and he goes still. Anxious eyes find mine as a wobbly smile comes to his face. He starts to desperately squirm and twist before I even start.

“Noho. Simon. Rohocky...” He tries to sound stern but fails miserably. His cheeks are red and his eyes are frantically looking around my face.

I flutter my fingers and a small squeak comes from him. He twists his face into his arm and bites his lip. 

"Oh, playing hard to get, Angel?” I scratch at the fabric harder and hear his laughter sputter from his mouth. He frantically shakes his head, his glasses askew on his face. “Common, laugh for us. This is what you wanted, right?” I smirk, seeing my teasing make his face blush even more. 

NOHOhoho! I-I nehever shahid—AH!!” I pull his sleeve up over his shoulder and run my nails over his bare skin. His body arches up as he pulls desperately. Rocky shifts himself closer, placing one of his claws in the other underarm, clawing softly.

“WAHAHIT! ROHohcky AHA—DOHOHON’T—!!” His hair becomes disheveled as he jerks back and forth.

“Grace wanted to play.” I see him get more flustered at Rocky's comment. I slide down to his highest rib and dig in. He squeals out a plea while his legs frantically kick behind me. I feel around the bone, pushing my fingertips in between the spaces and vibrating before slowly dragging my nails back up to his hallows.

“EEEAHAHAhaha!! Nohoho I-I dihiHIDN’T *SNRK*—!!!" Squeaky laughter comes from him. He kicks out, pushing his feet into the floor, pushing himself into Rocky more.

“Don’t lie, Grace. You're too obvious.” I let my fingers go still, and I see Rocky do the same. “You looked left out.” All those frowns he had on his face flash into my mind.

"N-no, I dihidn't," he breathes, catching his breath while looking away, a wobbly smile on his face. 

“You watched us wrestle for close to an hour.” I take my finger and slowly draw circles into the outstretched skin of his armpit, making his body shiver and jump. “Following us room to room to watch.” I grumble accusingly.

“NO! Nohoho—AH!” I see the blush across his cheeks leak down to his neck at being called out. 

“Rock, take over for me, will you?” I slowly drag my nails down over his ribs, feeling each bump of his bones, until I make it to his side. I give a few squeezes as I watch Rocky place another claw in his other underarm, replacing mine. Goosebumps race across his skin at the light touch and he squeaks.

“ROHOHCKY! DON’TDONOnon’t tahahake o-OVER—STOHOHOP—!!” His head falls back against Rocky's carapace as he cackles, squeezing his eyes shut. His laughter makes me feel warm and I can't look away. 

“Yes. Grace sad. Want to play with Rocky Simon. Cheer Grace up with play!” Rocky happily chirps out, speeding up his tickling. He shakes his head in response, wiggling underneath us.

“Ya know, you could have just asked. We would have involved you.” I make my way to his hip and squeeze into the bone, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath my fingers. I smile as I see the blush deepen the tips of his ears and his eyes go wide. “You moped around, pouting the whole time when you could have just asked.”

“NAHAHAT THERERE—EEHIHIAHAhaha *snrk* NO—!!” I rub circles into the bone, his hips bucking up. “SIHIMOHOHON—!!!”

I reach behind myself, squeezing down his thigh, each pinch earning me a squeal with more laughter. I finally make my way to his knee and I latch on. I squeeze rapidly at the joint, his legs frantically kicking. Small tears wet his lashes as we continue.

“Grace embarrass about play, question?” I slow my touches and so does Rocky. Grace's chest heaves up and down. I lean forward and grab his glasses that have all but fallen off at this point.

“Nohot embarrassed…and I…I dohon’t pout…” He huffs out and I raise a brow at him. So he's a liar now. 

"That's what you got from this conversation?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. “Also yes, you do.” I smirk, reaching down to run a finger along the edge of his lips. "You're literally pouting right now.” He frowns, his blush deepening. I didn't know ones face could get that shade.

I reach down and grab at his stomach. He jerks hard and squeals. I lighten my touch to lightly trace my nails against the skin there.

"Ahahahehe *snrk* wahait!" He sucks in his stomach, light giggles coming from him. Back and forth I sweep my fingers from side to side, slowly watching the skin twitch and Grace squirm. 

“So why not ask?” I still move my fingers but keep them pressed into his flesh. He bites his lip, giggles coming to a stop. 

He sits in silence for a moment, like he's carefully picking his words.

“I just…didn't want to intrude on your guys' relationship and stuff. It's nice that you guys have something separate from me.” He looks away, a sad look coming to his face. "It's a good thing." He tries to reassure us, but the way he looks away lets me know how he really feels. 

"It's not like I could participate anyway.”

I roll my eyes with an annoyed groan. God, he can be so weird with this stuff. It's not like we've known each other for close to a year now, stuck on the same ship together. He's known Rocky for even longer! I don't know why—I can't understand why he wouldn't just come and ask. He's the one who's always been open with his feelings. 

I look back over to him, frowning. He meets my gaze with a worried look. Worried about me being upset. 

"Rocky, let’m go," I sigh and Rocky does. I pat the floor next to me and he scuttles up, facing Grace beside me. Grace curls up a little but ultimately sits up to face us, though he looks like he'd rather be doing anything else.

I grab his hand in mine and squeeze. “You can't just not tell us stuff like this, especially if it makes you upset. We could have been more gentle. We could've—can check in on you more when we wrestle. Make sure you're okay, not hurt.” His eyes avoid us, and his hand is tense in mine.

“Y-you shouldnt have to do that, it's ok—”

“I get it.” I cut him off and his eyes flick to me. “I feel the need for close intimacy. I'm clingy. You know this, I know this, and Rocky definitely knows this.” Rocky lets out an amused trill and I smile. “But guess what? I had to ask you and Rocky to do that stuff. It made me sad that we didn't, so I asked like you taught me…and that's what we need you to do too.” 

“Understand, question?” Rocky reaches out and grabs his other hand while placing a claw on my leg. 

“Yes. Okay. I understand.” The tone he uses makes me think otherwise.

“Ryland, we're going to be on this ship for a long time together. You're good at this.” I try to give the best reassuring smile.

“At what?”

“Keeping us moving. Keeping me moving.” I mumble, looking away. “I don't know how to explain it." He waits patiently, eyes wide.

“I think…” I take my hand from his and rub the back of my neck, "...things are easier when you're around. Being yourself and happy.”

Silence.

"Grace heartbeat quick—”

“YES. Thank you, Rocky." He squeezes his eyes shut and looks away too, his ears red again. They do that a lot.

“Now,” I start shifting to stand. “I think we're going to give you a…five-second head start.” I smile as his eyes go wide.

Grace banged his fist on the table and Simon flinched. “Simon, if you would just listen for a second—“

“NO! I’m not gonna fucking listen! How many times have I told you I don’t want that fuckin’ bot near me?!”

“I know. Listen, I don’t like needles either, but we have to take your blood to check for—“

“You don’t hafta do anything!” Simon exclaimed. “Just shove me out the airlock and let me DIE already!”

I took a sharp inhale of breath. Simon hadn’t asked for us to let him die since the first few weeks he was with us. Something must be going on with him aside from this argument.

Grace didn’t seem to see that. He was getting angrier and angrier. “Are you serious? Do you hear yourself right now?” He took a breath, standing up from his chair and shoving it aside, hard. “If you would just stop interrupting me—“

“Why do you care so much about my mutations anyway? Do you think I’m a fuckin’ monster?” Simon snarled.

“ENOUGH!” Grace exploded. “I can’t do this anymore! I need to take your blood to make sure the mutations aren’t killing you. I don’t want you to fucking die, Simon!”

Simon seemed taken aback by the curse. I think it was the first time either of us had heard Grace curse. “Why?” he demanded.

“Because I love you!” Grace cried. 

There was a stunned silence. Even Grace seemed surprised at himself. 

I slipped silently out of the lab and went to hide in the cockpit. 

I hated it when they fought like that. It made so much noise, and this ship was tiny and impossible. I had been thinking lately about Stratt’s deliberations over whether to put the crew in a coma, and how all the research showed we would go crazy and kill each other. 

That was assuming they’d be dealing with me, Grace, Yao, and Ilyukhina—a mild-tempered crew—without knowing Simon and Rocky would eventually join us. That was assuming we’d die after a year or two of completing the mission. 

Simon’s arrival brought out a side of Grace I had never seen before. Grace became completely swept up in making sure Simon was okay, so much so that I faded quietly into the background. Simon provoked the anger issues that Grace had spent years, or so he told me, taming. I had begun to understand the type of person he was when he got kicked out of academia. 

I fiddled with the screens in the cockpit, mindlessly exploring the maps of stars and systems nearby on our course to Erid. 

I liked Simon. I really did. There had been a nearly perfect few weeks, after Simon got over the initial shock of living with us, and before he had started picking fights with Grace daily. The four of us spent most of our time in the don’t-go-crazy-room, exchanging stories of the worlds we grew up in. He was a good guy, and he clearly liked the both of us. We had enjoyed having new company. Grace and I allowed ourselves to behave like kids instead of the saviors of humanity.

It had been so complicated recently. The first few arguments, I had intervened. But then I realized we needed at least one emotionally regulated human around, so I let them yell at each other until they exhausted their voices. 

I listen carefully for noises in the main body of the ship. The yelling had stopped. I heard Rocky’s voice, too far away to be picked up by the translator on my laptop, but I could tell it was somewhat angry. I heard the murmured tones of reconciliation, and then the beeps of Armando instructing Grace on how to draw blood from Simon’s good arm. Then, there was silence. 

I turned back to my own tasks, opening up my laptop and working on some code to automate a systems check for the ship so we didn’t have to do it as often. I had been coding a lot recently. I had become used to being by myself. 

I was so focused I didn’t hear two pairs of footsteps approaching the cockpit. When Grace peeked his head inside, I startled. 

“Hey,” Grace said. 

“Hey,” I replied lamely. 

He navigated his body through the narrow space of the cockpit. Simon trailed after him. I glanced down and saw that they were holding hands. 

Oh. 

That must’ve been why the past few weeks were so tense—they had finally figured out their feelings. I wanted to feel happy for them, but the sight only managed to drive another pang of loneliness between my ribs. 

I chewed my lip as I watched them share a look. It was too quiet for my liking all of a sudden. 

“We’re sorry,” Grace said bluntly. 

“For what?” I asked tiredly.

“For fightin’ too much,” Simon said softly. 

I set my laptop aside and rubbed my eyes. “Okay,” I muttered. 

It was quiet again. Somehow, it didn’t feel resolved. 

“Are you okay?” Simon ventured.

“No,” I said quietly. “I don’t like yelling. I’m tired. And I’ve never seen you act the way you have been acting the past few weeks,” I said to Grace.

Grace winced. 

“And I’m lonely.”

They looked guilty. Grace dropped Simon’s hand. 

“No, don’t do that,” I sighed.

I picked up Simon’s hand and put it back in Grace’s. 

“Just get your act together, and I don’t want to hear more yelling on my ship,” I said firmly, as if that was the end of it.

*** 

Technically, no one was fighting anymore. Grace and Simon had evened out into a peaceful existence. They solved their disagreements without yelling. It was quiet again. 

I looked away when they cuddled. I left the room when they kissed. I stopped touching both of them and I kept my distance. They were a pair now, and I didn’t want to interrupt that.

Maybe that’s immature of me. Maybe I’m just punishing myself here. Maybe it’s unrealistic, given that those two are the only humans I’ll ever see again and I need them like I need oxygen. Maybe it’s unfair to them. Maybe they miss me.

I’m sure they don’t. Honeymoon phase, right? I don’t know. Their relationship is definitely atypical of what I was used to seeing on Earth. I had never asked Grace about his dating history, but I got the sense that he wasn’t interested in romance or sex or any of that. I guess that’s why it took me so long to figure out why they had been fighting so much.  

Rocky’s new favorite way to piss me off is to find me in the cockpit (my permanent hiding spot, it seems) and use his echolocation to narrate Simon and Grace’s more intimate activities wherever they are in the ship.

“What is purpose of using mouth, question?” Rocky needled. “Grace puts mouth all over Simon body. Very gross. Disgu~ust.” 

“Stop it, Rocky, I don’t wanna know,” I sighed. It’s bad enough that I can hear them going at it when I’m trying to sleep. 

Rocky did the Eridian equivalent of a chuckle. He paused for a few seconds, echolocating to another part of the ship. “Another question: why Grace not take clothes off?”

I turned to Rocky. “What?”

“Grace touch Simon intimately, but not other way around,” Rocky explained. 

“That’s… strange,” I murmured. I caught myself: “Wait—this is none of my business.”

Rocky chittered smugly.

***

So, I did some research. Shut up.

I don’t know a ton about Simon in comparison to the way I am extremely familiar with Dr. Ryland Grace. I could be right that Grace is somewhere on the asexuality spectrum. And that would probably translate to a slightly unique relationship between him and Simon. 

I don’t know why I care so much. It’s just boredom, I’m sure. I was just curious. I’m cooped up and I’ve gotten nosy. Nothing else.

***

I’m stuck in the same room as them. 

There was a hairline crack in Rocky’s tunnel that we hadn’t noticed and some ammonia leaked into the dormitory. Rocky ordered us to hang out in the lab until it’s fixed. 

“Hey, stranger,” Grace said lightly as I set my stuff down in the corner of the lab. 

“Hey,” I said, turning around and trying to bury myself in data.

“Whatcha working on?” Simon asked, wandering over. 

I perk up a little, always happy to talk about my work. “The Hail Mary has been collecting spectral data during our journey to Erid,” I explain. “I’ve been analyzing it as we go. Some cool stuff in here.”

Grace walked over to see, ‘ooh’ing and ‘ahh’ing as I flipped through photos the ship’s cameras had taken. It’s the first time they’ve paid attention to me in a while. My fingers trembled slightly on the keyboard. 

Simon put his hand over my shaky one. I froze. I realized they were both very close behind me and I felt two conflicting needs—for some air and for more, more, more. 

“Are you okay?” Grace asked. I had stopped talking mid-sentence. 

“I’m fine,” I said, turning back to my work. Simon stopped my spinny chair halfway, and then turned me around to face them. 

Simon’s hand was braced on the desk next to me and Grace was also hovering very close. I was pretty much speechless. I hadn’t been this physically close to a person in a long time. 

“Something’s wrong with you,” Simon said bluntly. “We didn’t fix it last time and m’tired of it. Spill.”

“I- I’m lonely,” I said, again. “But I’m trying to give you guys space to…be you. To be…a thing together.”

“We’re not anything without you,” Grace replied, his eyes bigger and wetter than usual. Damn, it’s going to be difficult to keep my distance if he keeps looking at me like that.  “You are,” I said. “You’re definitely something. I don’t… I don’t know what you guys are. But I’m trying not to interrupt.” 

“But you’re forcing yourself into solitary confinement,” Simon all but growled. 

I got the sense that he knew a thing or two about solitary confinement.

“And stop saying ‘interrupt,’ because you won’t,” Grace added. “We’re a crew. A team. And we need you.”

“Okay?” Simon probed.

“Okay,” I agreed. 

***

Rocky finished dealing with the ammonia leak. 

Grace and Simon had been gracious enough not to sit in each other’s laps and make eyes at each other in my presence, but I still scurried off to the cockpit as soon as possible. 

I almost forgot about the agreement I’d made with them, so used to my routine of hiding. Simon poked his head into the cockpit and cleared his throat. 

I startled.

“You’re doing it again,” he complained. Grace peered into the hatch behind him. 

“Sorry,” I said sheepishly. 

“That’s fine,” Grace said cheerfully. “We’ll come to you. As long as you need us to.” 

Simon sat himself down in the chair next to me and Grace floated around the small room, examining all the little objects and clutter I had accumulated in the past few weeks. A small model that I had used to teach Rocky yesterday about circuitry was disturbed by Grace’s movements and bonked me on the head. 

It was unusual to have them both in the tiny space I had claimed. 

It was much more crowded.

I yelped as Simon grabbed my waist and repositioned me. “What are you doing?” I asked, blushing furiously at the close proximity.

“M’braiding your hair. Stop moving,” he replied gruffly. 

I relaxed after a few minutes. I forgot how soothing it is to have someone touch your hair. Grace watched with a pleased smile as my eyelids fluttered to half-closed. I felt my heartbeat slow and the prickly feeling of emptiness in my skin, of a lack of sensation, subside.

I felt tears well up in my eyes when he tied off the braid with an elastic and patted my shoulder. Grace sat up in alarm. “Why are you crying?” he asked anxiously.

I wiped furiously at my eyes. “It just reminded me of my mom. She used to… braid my hair.”

I felt Simon’s strong arms—one flesh, and one prosthetic—close around my waist again and pull me in. He hugged me to his broad chest. I was smaller in comparison, a detail that felt strangely good. “It’s okay,” he murmured quietly. “Don’t cry.”

Grace pushed himself forward and hugged me from the front.

I took it in slowly. 

Visuals? Grace’s corny t-shirt. Smell? Simon’s shampoo, and the faint smell of sweat. Probably mine. Hearing? My crew’s steady breathing in my ears, and Rocky clanking away distantly in his tunnels. Touch? Strong arms surrounding me. Taste? The salt of my own tears.

I was still overwhelmed. 

“Guys…”

“Mm?” Grace murmured. 

“I can’t…”

“You can’t what?” Simon encouraged. 

“I can’t handle this much, but I need more,” I exhaled shakily. Simon tried to pull away. “No, don’t stop—“

I was crying again. 

Grace leaned back from the hug to look at my face. God, he was so close to me. 

“Fudge,” he whispered. He looked up at Simon. “Si, we messed up.”

“M’sorry,” Simon murmured into my hair. “We didn’t know it was this bad.” 

I struggled against his grip. “I can’t—I can’t be doing this…”

“Why?” Simon murmured, arms loosening. 

“I’m too needy, it’s too much, this isn’t normal—“

“S’not too much,” Simon interrupted.

“Your feelings are perfectly normal,” Grace chided in a gentle, teacherly voice. “This is what happens when people get lonely and isolated.” 

“But you guys are—“

“Just shut up and let us love you,” Simon interrupted. 

I stopped protesting. 

“Our lives aren’t normal anymore,” Grace muttered, stroking my cheek gently. “Why should the three of us try to be normal?”

“Okay,” I said. And it really was final this time. 

I went limp and compliant in Simon’s arms. He made a pleased noise and turned me around to face him. He pressed me closer and rubbed a hand up and down my back. I buried my face in his neck. 

It felt so good, I almost felt wrong enjoying it. 

Simon understood that, I think. It took him a while to get used to us touching him in the beginning. He was always saying something about Eden and being a sinner. 

Grace communicated something to Simon behind my back, and I heard Simon chuckle and then make an “mm” noise. 

“Hey,” Grace said. “Can we cheer you up?”

“What do you mean?” I mumbled, still too busy enjoying the hug.

“I wanna see a smile,” Simon said into my hair. 

“No, I’m too busy being pathetic right now,” I muttered. 

“Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?” Grace said, already chuckling at the answer. 

“Why?” I grumbled into Simon’s shirt. 

“Because it was full,” Grace wheezed. 

“I’m not laughing at that bullshit,” I deadpanned. Simon chuckled at my reaction. 

I cracked a smile despite myself. 

“Theeere we go,” Grace grinned. 

Simon poked at my sides. “How about a laugh?”

“Sihimon, don’t—“

“Ooh, good idea,” Grace snickered. 

I tried to use my inertia to get away, but Grace was in the way. I pushed off of his chest to try to get to the door, but then Simon blocked me. 

“You’re not gonna escape if it’s both of us,” Simon chuckled. 

They grabbed me and I squirmed wildly, legs pinwheeling like a cartoon character in zero gravity. 

“C’mon guys, I’m not sad anymore, just hohold on—“

“Nope. Too late,” Grace replied. “You’ve been a sad sack for too long.”

“Sad sack?” Simon chuckled, busy wrangling my arms and pulling them over my head. 

“Yep,” Grace said cheerfully, wiggling his fingers towards my now-exposed torso. 

I squealed and squirmed around. “Grace! Don’t- Simon, let me go right now,” I demanded. 

“Sorry, you need this,” Simon justified. 

Grace buried his fingers under my arms and I shrieked. My body tensed up with the urgent need to pull my arms down. I struggled uselessly against Simon.

“Aww, is someone ticklish right here?” Grace teased, poking and digging one finger under each of my arms. 

Simon and I both cringed at the baby-talk. I was too busy laughing, but Simon groaned in embarrassment: “Grace….”

Grace laughed at us. “Simon, I’m not even tickling you right now, why are you embarrassed?”

I turned my head to look at Simon’s red cheeks. “You’re cuhute,” I giggled. 

“You’re not in a position to make fun,” Simon growled, pinching up my side to add on to Grace’s tickling.

I shrieked with laughter. “AHAHAHA- wait, I’m sohorry- Simon, Grahahace, I’m sorry—“

Grace’s hands migrated down to my stomach. He yanked up my shirt to untuck it from my tied-off jumpsuit. “Maybe now you’ll laugh at my jokes,” he commented, clawing rapidly at my bare tummy. 

“YOUR JOHOKES SUCK AHAHASS—“ 

Simon sucked his teeth. “I think you’ll regret saying that…”

“What do you call two dinosaurs who got into a car crash?” Grace asked. 

“I dohon’t knohohow—“

“Tyrannosaurus wrecks!” Grace giggled. 

“Not- FUHUNNY!!” My protest turned into a scream of laughter as he nuzzled his stubbly face into my belly. 

Simon’s thumb massaged into my hip and I shrieked. “I don’t know, you seem to be laughin’ a lot, angel,” he murmured in my ear. My face burned hotter at the pet name—I’d only ever heard him use it for Grace. 

Grace pouted. “You stole my line.”

“I have a better joke for you,” Simon said conspiratorially into my ear. “He’s right in front of you.”

Grace sputtered in indignation as I laughed from genuine humor. “Wha- Hey! Not cool!”

Grace squeezed rapidly up my thighs. “What are you laughing at, huh?”

I descending into snorting giggles. “S’NOHOHOT MY FAULT! It was SIMON!!”

“Oh yeah?” Simon teased in my ear. “You laughed, though, sweetheart.” 

He pinched up my ribs and kneaded into each pressure point with terrifying accuracy. 

“You laugh, you lose,” Simon added in a tone that sent shivers down my spine. 

I let my head fall weakly onto Simon’s shoulder, kicking desperately. My laughter turned breathy. Their fingers slowed down. 

“You feeling better?” Grace asked. 

“Noho, I’m feeling like I’ve been tohortured,” I fired back. One reprimanding squeeze from Simon set me straight. 

“Good,” Grace said with a dopey smile. He leaned up and pressed a scratchy kiss under my jaw. 

I froze. What did that mean? It must have showed on my face, because I felt a laugh rumble through Simon’s chest.