#lemme write

           How annoying.

Peter’s sure he has patience, he’s sure he could pretend everything was fine even if it didn’t feel fine. When he talks the other, watches their expression twists into frustration, into a coldness that makes him feel the heat of anger before he exhales and tries to refocus. When they first met, Peter hadn’t thought much of them-- honestly, they clashed like most young kids did if they were competitive. Peter wouldn’t have much of a issue if not for Y/N’s haughtiness, or the coldness in their words when his grades are higher and they’re close enough to beating his average through each report card. A few more A’s this semester, the jokes and jests that piss him off.

  By the time elementary is finished, middle school like a blur where Peter can’t recall much because high school makes him sleepless at night, a tremor in his voice when he recalls Ben, scared of every moment where he steps out as a hero, afraid to make mistakes. He’s afraid of losing May, and dating MJ ends faster than he would like due to his excessive need to check up on her, to see how she is, to want her close--

  “You’re clingy, Peter.” MJ says lightly, like it makes him feel better. But it makes him better at hiding it. Even Harry points it out, with a laugh but there’s more of a understanding. Peter’s just lucky he has such a kind friend, but between his struggle of new, darker feelings, that sickly, hatred bubbles up whenever he sees Y/N again. 

   “Peter.” They say, holding up a paper, “got 100 on the calculus exam.” Which they had spent nights studying for, yet not that they would admit it to the other male they’ve grown used to being competitive with. From day one, all they wanted was to be on that same level as him. Maybe more, if to get recognized by their peers the same way. Even if Peter was considered nerdy, Peter was still bright-- and they liked that about him. It was too hard to admit such things, afraid of the rejection, they were cold. Mean and blunt, and turned away whenever Peter attempted a calmer conversation with heat in their cheeks and butterflies in their stomach.  

  Y/N glances at Peter, whose staring at their test with a confused expression before, 

  “Oh. Huh, I...totally forgot we took a test..”

“...” Y/N felt the annoyance creeping up, shoving their paper into the backapck they were carrying with a look of frustration. Whatever they were going to say was silenced by the thud of Peter’s body hitting the lockers, the sound of Flash’s voice as he began to snap on the other for being in his way. Y/N felt the flush from their earlier anger return in full force, “hey! Leave him alone, you’re the idiot who walked between us.” Flash looks over at them with a startled expression, clearing his throat but not apologizing as he ducked his head, walking away. Peter’s rubbing at his shoulder, watching the other walk away before looking back at the other. 

  “Thanks-”

“Don’t thank me.” Y’N says quickly, turning away, “I have to get to class, the bells about to ring.”

    Even then, Peter’s grateful for their words. Peter’s grateful for the relief he gets from not any other harsh words following after, from them or Flash. Maybe it’s why afterwards, he pays more attention to their actions. To the way they talk to him, to the flush on their cheeks when he starts up conversations and the angle of their body when he approaches like they’re shy and willing but afraid to speak. It’s so-- adorable, so pure, he finds he wanted to protect it. 

   It’s like that dark, ugly hate twisting itself into that same need to possess and protect, the fear of them being hurt even as they became closer friends. Peter knew he could protect them if he so wanted, and he did, wanted nothing more than to hold them close. It fills his dreams, his desires. Peter gets breathless at the idea, gets giddy when they talk now, even when Y/N shows off their grades, beating him in academics-- god, it just lights up their eyes, their smile is so sweet-- Peter... 

 He’s in love.

So. . . in love.