#lee!you

Monster…

What defines a “monster”, you wondered?

Did they have to be big and terrifying?

Did they have to be ugly and strange?

Did they have to have the desire to kill you?

Did they have to lack morality?

Did they have to lack mortality?

Or…did they simply not have to be human?

You admit that your sense of what was a “monster” was wholly based on those characteristics, but you didn’t — couldn’t — believe that last trait, at least not anymore.

Frankly, as of late, you considered humans to be the most monstrous creatures on the planet, and Urbanshade was a prime example of how monstrous your species could be— conducting horrifying and lethal experiments, sending employees and prisoners to hell and back, fighting and containing supernatural entities far beyond our realm of comprehension; and what was it all for? The sake of profits. It disgusted you the more you began to uncover Urbanshade’s secrets, and it angered you that this godforsaken company had trapped you in its profit scheme.

You couldn’t remember what you had done to deserve this fate, but honestly, did anyone deserve this fate?

Certainly not you, and certainly not the other victims you’ve encountered in this place. Despite everyone you’ve seen all sharing the same desire to escape and see the sun once more, that didn’t make you all friends.

Everyone either willingly chose a side or was forced to choose a side— either you worked with Urbanshade or you were against them.

You were unwillingly forced to work with this company just for the slim promise of freedom, as well as many others. Those who were against Urbanshade would stop at nothing to prevent you from reaching your goal— not out of personal malice, but because in the end, all of you were just trying to survive in the horrid environment they were plopped in, including them.

You watched as your fellow humans, some innocent and some guilty, were brutally murdered at your enemies’ hands, and yet you couldn’t be too upset with them. Disturbed at their actions maybe, but never upset at them.

Was that strange?

Probably.

But those on the other side — those that fit the common description of ‘monsters’ — soon took notice of how you understood their intentions, how you refused to be truly mad at what they were doing; no matter how many times they killed you or attacked you or scared you, you never resented them; and because of that, as well as your inability to truly die by some mysterious miracle, some began to grow more and more familiar with you. You, in turn, began to grow more and more familiar with them. Too familiar.

Room after room. File after file.

The whole facility was becoming stagnant to you in a terrifying way, and you started to wonder what was even the point of going through such a harmful environment? Yes, it was for the promise of your freedom, but who was to say that Urbanshade would even keep their end of the deal? After all, they’ve made it abundantly clear that you and all the other prisoners sent down here were expendable and worthless to them.

They don’t expect you to return, yet they hope that one of you will, preferably with that damn crystal in tow.

Except…it was the crystal they cared about, not you or anyone else. You didn’t even have to be alive as long as that object was removed from its pedestal and placed in your container. How do you know this?

You remembered when you actually managed to reach that oh-so-precious trinket, but choked upon getting hooked and swallowed by a Searchlight in the final encounter. Once you were presented the files that were given to you in your state of limbo, you eyed the one that Urbanshade created which documented your death. The Overseer comment confirmed your suspicions, though it wasn’t like you needed much proof:

“EXR-P is dead, but Z-2 should be recoverable once the Vultus Limunaria tries to digest it. Z-2 may then be recovered from the corpse.”

Urbanshade didn’t care whether you lived or died, as long as you had the crystal in your possession. But even with the crystal technically delivered to Urbanshade, you came back, as if nothing ever happened— right at the beginning of another run.

Was there ever truly a way out..? Were you doomed to be stuck in an eternal loop forever, trying to get a crystal that might not even be the key to this cage you were trapped in..? Was this your fate forevermore..?

Room after room, file after file.

You couldn’t recall what run you began to feel this sense of hopelessness. You couldn’t recall when there was suddenly no more energy in your movements, or when you began to stare death in the face with not even a hint of fear or surprise. Getting the crystal not only seemed near impossible, but hardly worth your while anymore.

You would’ve stayed right in that dock if HQ didn’t detonate your gear after a long 20 minutes of you not moving an inch. Of course, even as you walked through various rooms, there was no pep in your step, no real will to keep going.

The monsters began to notice your lack of energy, whether they remembered you from a past run or not, though only two dared to voice their thoughts— one of which being Sebastian.

“You know the drill by now, don’t ya?”, Sebastian muttered in his usual snarky tone once you crawled through the vent to his shop, though you could detect a slight hint of concern in his voice. You didn’t have the energy to call it out though.

Ha ha. Very funny.

“Geez, just trying to lighten the mood. You’ve been…off these past few runs. What? No longer feel like doing Urbanshade’s dirty work?”, the mutant smirked a bit as his little tease, but it quickly turned into a frown once you held your head low and gripped your jumpsuit tightly.

Can he just let you pay for his items already?

“Eugh, whatever…”, he grumbled, watching as you hobbled over to his tail and began to browse through his items. He took notice of how dead you looked— your skin was pale, probably from the cold temperatures of the Blacksite, or maybe even from dehydration, your eyes had dark circles and heavy bags under them, your hair was a mess…You looked like you hadn’t slept in years. You looked like you hadn’t eaten or drank something in so long. You looked like a walking corpse.

You would probably look much worse the next time you managed to make it to his shop.

Truth was, Sebastian didn’t know the intricacies of how your resets worked: you were respawned fully intact, sure, but you still seemed to feel the drag of exhaustion, and he swore he could faintly see scars given to you from your previous runs. It was like HE half-hazardously stitched you up and threw you back into the deep hole HE rescued you from. The thought of that taken literally made him shudder…

And it was in that brief moment of horror that real humanity presented itself to you.

“Actually…before you make that purchase…”, Sebastian suddenly said amidst you counting the correct amount of research to give him for an item on his tail, “I have an offer for you, heheh…I’m willing to give you something that will benefit you far more than any of these items on my tail.”

What?

“You heard right! An offer so incredible, you’d be a fool to reject it! For the low, low price of all the research on your person—”

You should’ve expected that.

“I’ll give you an exclusive deal worth your while! I would also like to add that I don’t offer this to just any Expendable…No no no! You’re a lucky duck…So whaddya say?”, Sebastian announced with a smug grin. You blink in confusion, trying to read his expression to figure out any semblance of what was going on. It’s been many a run, and you’ve never heard him offer…whatever this was.

This was different…and you couldn't help, but perk up a little at the notion of something new. Your deflated body rose a little bit in intrigue.

What was this incredible offer of his?

“Sorry friend, but the contents of such a deal are classified until the transaction has been made~”, the shopkeeper grinned wider as you sighed. You figured this was the case, considering how vague he was being. It reminded you of those silly scam calls or text scams, and for a brief moment, you wondered if this was some prank he was pulling in an attempt to nab all of your research without giving you any items.

But Sebastian did generally have a sense of fairness, despite how snarky and brash he could be…He wasn’t one to trick you like that, preferring to make his business with Expendables honest, unlike Urbanshade. And besides…if his plan was to pique your curiosity to make you buy it, it was working…You hated that it was working incredibly well.

Fine. You accepted Sebastian’s offer.

“Excellent! Your research please!”, he said as he extended his hand to you.

You huffed a little in slight hesitation before forking over quite literally all the research you had — You couldn’t believe you were placing your bets on a gamble with a 10ft. fish man — Regardless, he seemed pleased that you took his offer, though it didn’t feel like it was in a “I-just-robbed-you” way. More like in a relieved sort of way. You tilted your head as you watched him count your research— you had amassed quite a bit, so he seemed doubly pleased.

So…what did you get?

“Sleep.”

What?

He had answered so suddenly that it had caught you off-guard; then, without much warning, he suddenly picked you up by the collar of your jumpsuit — almost like he was scruffing a small dog — before carrying you over to the ledge by his side and placing you down. “Be right back”, was all he said before you saw him…climb up the wall? Well, more specifically, a large hole in the ceiling.

You were stunned out of confusion and curiosity, trying to process what he had just basically offered you, and you kept that bewildered expression until around 20, maybe 30, minutes had passed. Soon enough, you heard a loud thump and saw the blurry image of something whisk past your line of sight. Something had fallen from the ceiling.

You glanced over, spotting what seemed to be a couch cushion laying on the floor. You stared at it briefly before more cushions began to fall from the hole in the ceiling. Around six, maybe eight, had been dropped before you heard more thumps and watched as clawed hands reached out from the hole and clutched at the pipes and bars to support the large serpent body that started to shimmy his way down.

“Argh…This sucks every time. You really should be grateful…”, Sebastian hummed with a slight huff as he looked at you from the hole. He crashed onto the floor with a loud thunk before he quickly cracked his back and bent down to gather up the cushions on the ground.

He asked you to move over, so you pressed your back into the wall, watching as Sebastian started to set up what seemed to be a little bed for you. Six cushions were used as a mattress, and the remaining two were used as a pillow. You blinked at the makeshift bed, turning your head to face the mutant.

“There, that’s for you. Have fun sleeping or …whatever…”, he huffed, crossing his arms before lowering his body to give you a semblance of privacy. You were still a bit stunned by the bed, or more so that Sebastian had got and made this for you.

…Why had he offered this to you?

“Tch. You ask too many unimportant questions.”

You still would like to know why.

“Eugh. Think of it like…an investment. Your infinite resets help me amass plenty of loose assets. I can’t have my best supplier getting exhausted! Besides, you look like a walking corpse. It’s so pitiful, it bothers me.”

So what he’s saying was…that he secretly cares for your well-being.

“Go the fuck to sleep or I’ll knock you out myself.”

You chuckled at your little victory, pleased to hear Sebastian grumble in defeat, before sliding your exhausted body over to the makeshift bed. You settled yourself on top of the cushion and hummed. Not super soft, but that was the extent of what anyone could get in Hadal Blacksite, and it was definitely much better than sleeping on cold concrete. You lay your head down the cushions and turn on your side, backside facing Sebastian. You sigh and listen to the sound of clawed fingers flipping through files and papers, the rhythmic noises lulling you. You couldn’t, but smile softly at the gesture, quietly thanking Sebastian for the bed. You got a mumbly groan in response, but you didn’t let that bother you as you slowly drifted off…

Room after room, file after file.

The Blacksite was still stagnant as ever. At this point, your goal wasn’t to find that crystal anymore, but rather to explore the Blacksite and everything within it. You found lots of strange rooms and items you didn’t bother to pick up and take with you. You would find documents next to certain items or in important rooms— all of which were snatched by Sebastian who seemed to spawn behind you every time you found one. It was all morbid to read when you given the chance of view them; the item or creature itself was creepy, or the process of Urbanshade acquiring and containing them in the Blacksite was disturbing; but it gave you information that made your time stuck in Urbanshade’s grasp a little more interesting.

And made your hatred of this company grow.

Aside from file-hunting, you found yourself getting closer to the entities in the building. Sure, they all still tried to kill you, but you gained a greater understanding of each of them, either from their files…or talking to them. Of course, very few of them were sapient enough for conversation, but the few that were…

“Oooouh, a visitor! I don't get those often, especially recently. What brings you here?”

You had found p.AI.nter’s room in one run— it was a crumbled hole in the wall, guarded by a singular turret. The room harbored desks and chairs and drawers…as well as a wired-off area with the AI himself inside. You had known who p.AI.nter was before properly meeting him, but this was the first time you saw him in person. You saw before you, an 80s computer with a crudely drawn face on its screen, the mouth and eyes moving as a voice spoke from the computer’s speakers. He smiled for a moment, before his eyes narrowed as he got a better look at you.

“Wait a second...Oh! I...wasn't expecting you to get here so soon”, he started, which made you raise your eyebrow curiously, “Um...Okay, now, before you get mad, let me explain. I don't hate you...promise! It's nothing personal. I'm just trying to sidetrack you a bit before—”

“Hey, kid? Who are you talking to?”

You jumped as someone suddenly interrupted the spiel. It was Sebastian’s voice, coming from a walkie talkie next to p.AI.nter. The computer quickly responded to the fish mutant, “Oh! Se-Sebastian! Hey! Um...I think this is the person you were talking about earlier.” You tensed up at the comment, your face harboring a puzzled look.

Sebastian had talked about you before? To p.AI.nter? Why? You heard Sebastian let out a chuckle on the other line.

“Oooh, that one?”

p.AI.nter’s face turned smug as he gave a little chuckle as well.

“Heh, yeah. They seem kind of lost.”

You were far from lost in your mind, just curious. But you supposed both of them would take any chance to insult you.

“Well, they aren't EXACTLY the brightest UrbanShade can offer.”

Yep, they would. You puffed up your cheeks ever so slightly as both of them laughed, presumably at you. You huffed in annoyance.

“Well, I just wanted to drop in to make sure you're doing alright. I'll call you back if I need your help.”

The two said their goodbyes, and soon enough, p.AI.nter directed his attention back to you. “Anyway…I think you should get going now”, he said, his face switching to one of sadness. You hummed a bit before sighing and turning to leave…

“A-Actually—!”

You turned back to look at p.AI.nter curiously. He didn’t seem to expect you to stop, clearing his nonexistent throat before his face tilted like how a human would tilt their head. “Can I…ask you something? What’s your deal?”

Your deal?

“I’ve…never seen you here. But Sebastian talked about you like you two have met before. And the way you move…you act like you’ve been here before. Why is that?”

You blink. So p.AI.nter didn’t remember your resets. You don’t really know how to answer that question without seeming like you’re crazy. Then again, this was Urbanshade we were talking about, and it wouldn’t be unlikely to say that by some miracle, you kept reviving and coming back. But what were you supposed to say? That he’s killed you over and over again, many times before? What a weird way to start a conversation…

You…don’t know how to answer why Sebastian knows you. But in terms of knowing a lot…you’ve done your research on this place.

“Research?”

Yep. You’ve collected lots of files that talk about the things Urbanshade has done and the entities here. They’ve helped you a lot to figure out how everything works.

“Huh. Most Expendables around here just dive headfirst into danger. Makes them much easier to kill, heheh…heh…”, p.AI.nter chuckled. You hummed, looking at p.AI.nter’s smug face and recollecting the times he’s killed you. Half of the time…he didn’t seem to enjoy it. Even when he introduced himself, he didn’t seem to want to do anything harmful.

For a murderous AI, he doesn’t seem very interested in manslaughter…

“Oh. That’s because…I’m not. A-At least I don’t mean to! Like I said it’s nothing personal! I just…want to make art again…”

He draws?

“Wooow, you really aren’t bright. My name is p.AI.nter, Expendable. What did you THINK I was made for?”

Well, yeah, but…how does he draw? Something told you it wasn’t like those shoddy programs that just collaged other people’s drawings together into a single image.

“Eugh, heard about those programs. No, I just do it like this..”, p.AI.nter said. In an instant, his face disappeared, now placed with a blank canvas on a drawing program. You watched in amazement as brush strokes began to appear on the canvas one by one in the way a human artist would do them. After a few minutes, a sketch was finished, and you recognized the figure as Eyefestation. You blinked and clapped a little.

That’s incredible! You were surprised he could do that! And so well too.

“Haha…You think so?”, p.AI.nter said, his face, now drawn with a tad bit of blush, flashing back onto screen. You nod. p.AI.nter laughed a little nervously before glancing away— or at least his face gave the appearance of him looking away. He sighed before his mouth morphed into a sad smile.

“I can’t wait to draw more once we get out of here. That’s…why I’m doing this. Sebastian promised he would get the two of us out here. Our shared prison…I'm sorry for any... inconvenience I might have caused in the process. I... don't want to go back to Roblux mining... It's so... mind numbing. I... can't bear it any longer…”

You understand. You hope they can get out and see the sun again too.

p.AI.nter looked back at you before frowning. “You idiot…Don’t you realize that means I have to keep putting you in danger?”, he huffed. You shrugged. You refused to take it personally; it’s as p.AI.nter said— it was either them or you. Just because you were trapped in a mindless prison didn’t mean they had to be too. p.AI.nter, hearing no sort of response from you, groaned.

“You’re weird. You really should go before your weirdness spreads.” You laughed a bit at the almost childish response before looking at a chair and eyeing a document laying on it— swiftly taken by Sebastian, which p.AI.nter seemed to comment on. You decided to leave immediately after.

“Goodbye! I’ll miss you!”

…You’ll miss him too. But not for long, of course. You died in an encounter with one of his turrets soon after, hearing him cry after having killed you.

Room after room, file after file.

You had enough. You had enough of this bullshit. You had enough of dying over and over again. You had enough of Urbanshade.

You were never going to get to the end. You were never going to live to see the sun again. You were never going to escape this wretched place.

You hated Urbanshade. You hated yourself. You hated HIM, whoever HIM was.

So after a certain amount of runs, you decided to give up on getting that crystal…and decided on a new objective.

“I just had a feeling it’d be—”

Sebastian.

“…Huh?”

You have an offer for him and p.AI.nter. Was he listening?

Sebastian stared at you for a moment. That look in your eyes…You were serious. He slowly leaned over to the walkie-talkie, still making eye contact with you, and spoke. “Hey, kid? You there?” Soon enough, you heard the robotic voice reply.

“Sebastian! What’s up?”, he said, chipper as ever.

“Remember that Expendable I was talking about earlier? They want to talk with us.”

p.AI.nter exclaimed in slight surprise, reasonably confused and a little nervous upon hearing that; but the walkie talkie hadn’t turned off, so you assumed he was still tuned in. It was then…you explained everything.

You wanted to help them. You were the only one who had even a sliver of a chance of getting that crystal, thanks to your endless resetting, but you couldn’t keep trying to get that trinket— not only was it numbing you, but…you had grown to care for both of them, and you want them to escape.

Besides, if you get that crystal, Urbanshade wins. But if they escape…that will be a whole can of worms for this god forsaken company.

So here’s what you propose: instead of trying to get that crystal, you’re going to be their scavenger. You’ll collect loose assets from them across your many runs until they have enough to leave. Whatever happens after…won’t be their problem.

All you want is for them to be happy.

Your words stunned both of them. Sebastian wasn’t able to utter a word; meanwhile, p.AI.nter was asking a million questions, especially concerning your inability to permanently die and his inability to remember your resets. You realized you probably dropped a lot of them, and were about to give them space…when suddenly, Sebastian spoke up. “Come here, Expendable.”

“Sebastian..?”

p.AI.nter’s voice rang of nervousness. You blinked with a similar feeling, slowly approaching the mutant. Sebastian’s eyes narrowed a little, his arms crossed.

“You really are a moron. Do you HONESTLY think switching who you’re being a martyr for makes you some kind of a hero? You think pretending you’re some righteous sacrifice is going to make either of us happy?”, he groaned a little.

“Se-Sebastian, wait—!”, p.AI.nter chirped as your eyes widened fearfully.

Maybe you had been too forward. Maybe he was angry with you for suggesting that he needed your help. You shook your head.

He was right. You were sorry for suggesting that he needed—

Another groan. Suddenly, he grabbed your shoulders, and you couldn’t help, but let out a yelp in surprise. p.AI.nter did the same, clearly wondering what was happening on the other side of the walkie talkie. He forcibly turned you around so your back was facing him. You could feel his face get closer to your neck, and you forced yourself to swallow your fear…

“God, you have no self-respect. Hold still”, he muttered, causing you to blink in confusion. You feel Sebastian messing with something, and it doesn’t take you long to realize what it is.

Your bomb collar, after a bit, falls on the floor.

You gasped a little, touching the area where the collar was around your neck— it was ridiculously tight, and you felt relief that you could breathe a little more properly.

“Yeahhhh, no. Not happening. I’ve known you for a while now. I know you mean what you say. And, UNFORTUNATELY, your suffering annoys me. So yeah…”

“Consider us partners.”

And from that point on, you, Sebastian, and p.AI.nter were a rag-tag team against Urbanshade, all working towards the goal of escaping this hellscape. Most of the monsters were nonsapient, so they still tried to kill you half the time, but at least Eyefestation didn’t. And hijacked speakers, the Good People, or turrets weren’t a problem anymore. With a new goal in mind, you felt rejuvenated to a degree, even if you had to deal with the same gray walls over and over again. You and p.AI.nter got into some lovely conversations, and you saw Sebastian slowly warm up to you, letting his more well-mannered personality show. You were labeled as a rogue Expendable by Navi and HQ, and you felt elated to be called such, especially since Urbanshade couldn’t detonate your gear.

You hum as you rummage through a few drawers, happy to find some data inside. You carefully take out the research already in a pouch Sebastian gave you and added the recently found data to the collection. You counted each, taking a calculator that was also in one of the drawers and smiling as you calculated the total price of all the research— about $3500 worth of it. What a haul…Time to quickly return to Sebastian before any entities try to kill you.

You checked the door number: #55. Sebastian’s shop would be coming up soon. You sigh and begin progressing through the doors, thankfully there weren't many keycard-locked doors — there was a room with windows, Eyefestation peering inside from the sea, so you gave a quick hello to her — and you were soon at Room #48. You noticed that Sebastian’s shop tended to be from #53 to #47, so the next room over had to be where his shop was. The door was locked with a card reader, and you were about to go looking for it when…you felt a chill run up your spine. You could hear faint screaming.

Screaming?

Your face pales as you realize the entity that was on her way. You waste no time taking out a code breacher and jamming it into the card reader. Once the door opens, you zip inside, and a vent door flies across the room. “In here!”, Sebastian exclaimed. You basically fling yourself through the vent and into his shop, not even crawling in. In the nick of time too, sighing in relief as you hear the sound of Pinkie zipping across the room.

“At least you're safe in here with me. I'm joking. You’re not”, teased a familiar voice, and you huff as you look up at the shopkeeper towering over you with a smug look on his face.

Nice to see you too, partner.

You say, laying on the ground as you rest your face on your hand. “Yeah yeah, whatever. So, how much have you collected this run?”, he questioned as you picked yourself up. You file through the research, doing a second count before handing the stack of data to Sebastian.

$3500 last time you counted. It’s been a good run so far. You hope to find more once you progress.

“You probably will. I have to say, you’re pretty good at scavenging.”

You would be better if you still didn't get attacked by monsters left and right.

“Yeah, well, unfortunately for all of us, most of the entities aren’t really sapient enough to stop their bloodlust. But HE’S still reviving you anyhow…I’m surprised HE’S not pissed off at your little rebellion”, Sebastian huffed, setting the research aside. He looked over at you and blinked as he saw you turn around and began to walk away.

Well, back in the fray. You’ll be back with more—

A large tail suddenly slammed in front of the vent, making you jump in shock and fall down to the ground from the sheer force. You look at Sebastian in puzzlement, who simply shook his head with a ‘tsk, tsk, tsk.’ “Now, where do you think you’re going? Didn’t you promise p.AI.nter last run that you would take a break every time you reached my shop after you overworked yourself?”, he said smugly. You blink and puff up your cheeks in slight annoyance before crossing your arms and averting your eyes.

He doesn’t remember you making that deal.

“Which is why immediately afterwards, he told me to make sure you follow through. Oh, won’t he be heartbroken to know you were about to break your promise? Besides, I see those rips and tears. You’re low on health”, Sebastian gave a toothy grin, and you knew it was because he loved messing with you…and maybe a bit of secret concern for your self-deprecating behavior. With that, you groan exaggeratedly and walk away from the vent with your arms up in mock surrender.

Ugh. Fiiiiine.

“Oh, don’t act like that, you entitled brat. God forbid people care about whether you live or die”, Sebastian said with no real malice in his voice…though he gave a mischievous grin, “Just for that, I’m trapping you here for an hour.”

An hour?!

“Wanna make it two?”

You swallow down a grumble, placing yourself down near Sebastian’s tail. You pouted like a child, not even looking Sebastian in the eye when he hovered a medkit close to your face. Still, you took it, opening the box and mumbling to yourself. “Geez, someone’s in a bad mood. What’s up with you?” You shook your head in frustration.

Nothing! It’s just that there’s been no word from any rival companies for a while. You thought Pinewood might pull through, but they didn’t seem interested.

Bloxtop and Deluge Labs didn’t even seem to be around anymore, so that only leaves Innovation Inc.

That company is very hit or miss. You just wanted to have a good amount of research to make it as appealing as possible.

Sebastian sighed and patted your head. “Yeah, I know…Look, I get you wanna help, but not at your expense. And don’t give me that reviving bullshit; we’ve already established that you still feel the exhaustion after every reset”, he said with a huff before looking away, “Besides, p.AI.nter doesn’t take too kindly to you overworking yourself…and frankly, neither do I. So for the love of god, don’t hurt yourself doing this: We’re gonna be fine. Someone’s gonna answer, and someone’s gonna rescue us.” You look at Sebastian for a bit before sighing and nodding.

Yeah…I hope so. If they don’t…

“Hey. Think positive, yeah? Leave the crummy mood for when we give the middle finger to Urbanshade”, Sebastian replied, grimacing as you averted your pouty eyes. He grumbled a bit in annoyance, but he couldn’t blame you for how you felt.

You had felt hopeless for a long time, and you were anxious to finally leave this horrifying situation. He was too; but he hated seeing you like this, though he hated it just as much to admit that. Another thing he hated to admit? How seeing you smile after a long time of suffering helped him keep going— he experienced it with p.AI.nter, and now he was also experiencing it with you. Great.

His eyes wandered back to you, watching as you moped there on the floor…when a sudden urge overtook him. Seeing you pouty like that reminded him of a particular instance with his siblings; and as the memory played through his mind, a mischievous smile suddenly stretched across his features. He hummed in a mischievous way that easily got your attention, almost like he wanted you to know he was planning something. You tried to ignore it, but you couldn’t help, but glance at him curiously, only to see a smug smile on his face.

What was he thinking about?

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

He’s lying. Spill the beans, shrimp.

“My, my! Name-calling, are we? Is that any way to treat a friend? That bad mood of yours sure is starting to get annoying…”, he sneered, and you swore you saw his tail begin to close in around you out of the corner of your eye. You didn’t like where this was going.

What was he planning..?!

“I’m just saying! That attitude of yours is not helpful in the slightest. We need to do something about that, don’t you think~?” The trill in his voice caused your stomach to drop, then fill up with butterflies. He was getting mischievous, and there were a lot of things that could happen when Sebastian was feeling mischievous. But you knew the thing that he most commonly did when he was in this kind of mood, and that struck fear into your heart.

Sebastian! Buddy! Th-That really isn’t necessary..!

“Oh, but it is! How are you expected to work hard if you can’t get rid of some silly negative feelings? I only wish to help you become more productive! What a good friend I am~”, Sebastian teased once more, and it was then you shivered at the cool touch of scales against your figure. His tail was basically wrapped around you, but it didn’t trap you. It was all a ruse though; you knew the minute you tried to escape, that tail — probably harboring the strongest muscles in the shopkeeper’s body — would ensnare you and keep you still.

You were trapped without being restrained, and that was flustering in its own right— guess it was time to bargain.

Sebastian, please! He would kill you if he…!

“If I what~?”

Your face flushed as the word got caught in your throat. He knew your weaknesses all too well. “Come on…Last time I checked, I had given up on killing you a while ago. So what? What could I possibly be thinking of doing that would kill you~?”, he chirped, and to make matters worse, his clawed fingers scratched the air around you, causing you to let out a slight shriek of surprise. Your face was heating up from the teases, but you knew it was only just the beginning. You averted your eyes, hardly able to get a coherent word out of your mouth.

Se-Sebastian—! No..!

“Because I’m not planning on killing you at all! Just…trying to put a smile on your face. That’s not so bad, is it~?”, Sebastian continued, his hands beginning to get closer to your sides. You squeak and push your back against the mutant’s tail to try and squirm away, but the tail was firm in its spot, so you didn’t get very far.

“It’s really such a shame you’re being so resistant to this. You would be making both our lives sooo much easier if you just accept my help…Oh well. I suppose I don’t mind a bit of fun~”, he said, his fingers once again getting closer. You began to giggle mindlessly from seeing his wriggling fingers approach your body.

Sebastian, please! This is cruel—!

“Oh? On the contrary, I think this is the nicest thing I’ve ever done for you~! Why must you be so difficult..? Now then…~” His fingers reached your sides, and you braced yourself for tickly torment…but you instead got something far worse. His hands were in a clawing position and pressed themselves against your sides. You shrieked at the contact, but the only thing that came out of your mouth afterwards were nervous titters. The fingers didn’t move, still firmly resting on your sides. You giggled at the touch, trying to squirm away from the hands. But they simply followed you, still latching onto your sides, but never moving. It was actual torture.

Wait, wait, wait—!

“Whaaaat~? I’m not even doing anything~”, the shopkeeper sang, the worst part being that it was true, “I’m just resting my fingers here. What do you think they’re gonna do~?” Your face was bright red. This was horrible! This was the worst! Your giggles were breathy and frantic, and you grabbed Sebastian’s wrists trying to pry them off of you; but of course, the fish mutant was much stronger than you, and he seemed to dig his fingers deeper as punishment, causing you to shriek once more.

The butterflies in your stomach fluttered at full-speed, and you felt ready to pass out from sheer anticipation. “So come ooon…Enlighten me, why don’t you~? What are they gonna do~?”, he hummed with a wicked grin. You were unable to think straight as you gave your response, and only when it was too late did you realize your mistake.

Tickle y…W-Wait no—!

“As you wish~”

In an instant, the fingers got to work: they swiftly began to scribble against your sides, electric sensations zapping at your nerves. Your laughter was instant— your sides weren’t even the worst spot on your body, but the teasing made everything ten times more sensitive. Your grip against Sebastian’s wrists tightening, though it was hardly enough to do anything. Your whole body shivered as Sebastian’s claws racked up and down your sides, ignoring how your body arched and squirmed in a desperate attempt to escape. Sebastian smirked at your futile efforts and leaned down to look at your blushing face with a chuckle. “There’s that smile…but I think we can make it bigger, don’t you~?”

You try to giggle out a plea, only for more laughter to burst out of you as Sebastian’s hands traveled down to your hips and dug his claws right in the sensitive bone. Squeaks and squeals pour out of your mouth as the claws gently scratch and squeeze at the sensitive spot. You shake your head to chase away the feeling, your feet sliding about on the floor.

Sebastian gives a low chuckle at you, the kind that makes the hairs on your neck stick up and causes your whole body to shudder, and hums pleasantly. “Oh, so this is a sensitive spot for you, huh~? What if I…?”, he quipped before his fingers immediately dug into the dips of your hips.

You let out a strange combination of a snort and a squeal as you push against the tail to no avail. In fact, Sebastian’s tail seems to curl further in, basically lifting you up while trapping you in a coil, exposing all your spots to him as he continues circling your hip dips. You sputter out flustered gibberish, your face warming up considerably at the sudden focus on your hips. You tried your hand at another plea, but it’s very quickly interrupted by a sudden squeeze, and all that came out was a high-pitched squeak.

“Hehe, sorry, what were you saying? Couldn’t quite catch that over that little squeal of yours~” Oh, this bitch. “You know…that was pretty nice you noise you made…”, he said, stopping for a brief moment. You relished the break given to you, greedily sucking in lost air.

“I wonder if I could play a song with you~”

And just like that, your breathing hitched in fear. You frantically shook your head, trying to convince your tickler otherwise, but your protests fell on deaf ears as one of Sebastian’s hands latched onto your arms held them up high — you realized just how big Sebastian was; big enough to wrap a whole hand around both of your arms… — You were now leaning against Sebastian, and you soon squealed in giggly anticipation as you noticed the shopkeeper’s two other arms wriggling their fingers at you. “You know, I was pretty skilled with the guitar…It would be nice to play some music again~”

You tried to protest once more, claiming how you were NOT in fact a guitar, but you were promptly ignored— one of Sebastian’s hands shot down to your ribs and began tweaking and pinching in-between the bones while his third arm began tapping along your stomach. You cackle at the playful combination, kicking your legs and desperately trying to free your arms from the shopkeeper’s grasp. He gave another low chuckle that made your shiver, and you swore the tickles on your belly got worse.

“What? Laughing this much already~? But I’m just tuning my guitar~! How bad will it be once I actually play…?”, he smirked as your laughter grew. Once again, you tried to insist that you were not some musical instrument, but that was cut off by the fish man clawing his fingers at your ribs some more.

You try to position your arms to cover your face, but then being pinned up obviously keeps that from being fully possible. You couldn’t believe this was happening— Actually, you very much could believe it, but you certainly didn’t expect it today. And you most certainly didn’t expect the sudden switch-up from Sebastian pinching your ribs to suddenly scribbling against your armpit. You shriek at that, your laughter turning squeaky as soon as his third hand started to skitter against your stomach. Your body curves inward, trying to suck in your belly as best you could. You throw your head back in mirthful laughter, and cackle out his name in a desperate plea. He simply smirks at you.

“Hehe, I knew you would make a nice song. What a beautiful symphony we’ve made together, wouldn’t you agree~?”

Your whole body shivers from pure mirth and bliss. You wanted so badly to tell Sebastian to shut up, but you could barely sputter out a sentence without it being replaced with frantic peals of laughter. And plus…this wasn’t the worst thing that could’ve happened to you today; not by a long shot. It was kind of nice to laugh anyhow…Maybe Sebastian was right about you needing this; but you would never admit that in a million years, and certainly not to his face. Thankfully, much to your gratefulness, he slowed down to give you another break from the tickles…but not from his teasing.

“Poor little Expendable. So ticklish…Too ticklish~ Remember when I said you weren’t safe in here with me? Yeahhh, bet you wished you listened now, huh~?”, he chirped as you took deep breaths to settle yourself. Curiously, you peeked an eye open to see Sebastian’s face— in an instant, you knew he was planning something. Your whole body flinched, something he takes note of, and the butterflies buzz around in your stomach as you wonder what he was going to do next.

“What, nervous~? Is your head filled with guesses on what I’m gonna do next~?”, he teases — how was he so good at reading you? Were you that predictable, or was he just trained to be a tickle monster? — You shake your head, but are caught off-guard once Sebastian places his chin on your shoulder.

His hand wiggles towards your ribs, earning him a nice squeal from you. “Am I going to tickle you here~?”

His hand moves down to your side. You arch your body away from the wriggling fingers. “Or here~?”

His third arm gestures down behind your knee, and you bend your leg in response with a giggly smile. “Maybe I’ll try somewhere new~?”

Your smile wobbles as his tail suddenly wraps itself around your legs— tightly enough to prevent your escape, but gentle enough to not hurt you. His hand lets go of your arms and joins his other hands in scritching the air around your body once more. You let out a shrill squeal and hug yourself, trying to inch away from the claws. “Where to go, where to go~?”, he hums in mock thought, the soft purr emitting from him slightly tickling the shoulder blade he rested his face on.

You giggle mindlessly, both from the teasing and the little purring, and he takes notice of it. He hums once more, and, without warning, begins nuzzling your neck and causing you to squeak softly. You give a little cry in surprise as your giggles increase, all while his fingers are still teasingly flexing the air around your sensitive spots.

“Come on~? Don’t tell me this is enough to knock you down~? I’m not even being rough yet~!”

The ‘yet’ was not making it any better— in fact, it made you giggle and squirm more, though you were careful not to shimmy your body directly into his teasing fingers. You scrunch your shoulders to try and push Sebastian’s face away from your neck, but it doesn’t deter him at all, simply increasing his nuzzle to make you giggle even more. Your face was burning hot at this point— if you weren’t laughing yourself silly, you were teased to no end. You pleaded once again for mercy. Hadn’t he had his fun already?!

In his eyes, no; because he seemed to get a wonderfully evil idea for you.

Once again, all his claw-like hands jabbed into your tickle spots— one on your ribs, one on your side, and one on your stomach. You squeal at the sudden contact, quietly cursing at him for doing this horribly teasy method again. Sebastian chuckles at your reaction. “Good news, Expendable. I think we’re almost done here. And after some thinking, I’ve narrowed it down to these three highly sensitive spots of yours~”

Your blush deepens as you urge the mutant to be quiet. He ignores the comment, but smirks at you anyhow. This was going to be fun.

“And I believe I’ve chosen the perfect spot to end things off~ Can you guess which one~?”

You shake your head, the mere concept enough to render you silently flustered. The shopkeeper seems hardly bothered, all of his fingers lightly tapping along their chosen spot in anticipation. You giggle frantically as the fingers prodded at your spots, your body quivering from the teasing for what feels like an eternity…until eventually, the hand poking around your stomach suddenly sped up and scribbled along the sensitive area. “Heheh, it’s your oh-so sensitive belly~”, he chirps as you shriek — you hadn’t braced yourself for the unexpected sensation — Sebastian tickled there for a few seconds before it all stopped in an instant, but you knew for a fact it wasn’t over yet.

“Haha, I know you must be tickled pink—“ You flush at the wordplay. “—to hear why I chose this spot in particular. Heheh…it’s because I realized you must be starving~”

Starving? What…did he mean by that..?! Whatever he meant wasn’t good for you, and you shuddered at that fact. A wide grin stretched across his face, and in a moment, you were swiftly placed on your back, resting on his tail like an inclined bed. You squeak, your cheeks flaring up as you stare at the smug face of Sebastian, then watch as Sebastian starts to slowly unzip the shirt of your EXR-P jumpsuit.

You shivered from anticipation, but once your jacket was opened and Sebastian began to lift the white tank top underneath, immediately squealed in realization of what he meant. What he was going to do.

Sebastian, hold on—!

“Now, now, I can’t have my little errand boy going hungry, now can I? Good thing I have the perfect snack to give you~”

You tried to beg for Sebastian to not do what you think he’s going to do, but you let out a guffaw as the shopkeeper suddenly buried his face right into the center of your bare tummy. You could practically feel the grin on the fish man’s face. You let out the equivalent of a quiet key smash, and Sebastian laughs a bit at you, pleased by your flustered reaction.

“Any last words~?”, he teases, one final time before he completely annihilates you.

You don’t know what to say: protest? plea for mercy? tell him to fuck off? It wouldn’t matter: he would tickle you to death either way, and your bright red wouldn’t allow you to be taken seriously anyway. Against your better judgement…what came out of your mouth was simple.

You told him to do his worst.

A poor decision really, evident by the way Sebastian looked up at you slowly and grinned ear-to-ear. An evil expression was on his face, and you knew you were doomed.

It was immediate: a sharp inhale followed by a devastating raspberry right on your stomach. The shriek you let out could probably shatter glass, but you had no-one to blame, but yourself. Your hands immediately head for the mutant’s head, trying to muster enough strength to push him away from your torso.

But not only were you just generally weaker than Sebastian, any strength you may have had was significantly reduced from the previous tickles.

So there was just absolutely no hope for you.

You were too caught up in your own head to prepare for another raspberry, loud and obnoxious. Another one followed, then another, and one more after that, each worse than the last. Your hands fly to your face, your legs kicking wildly from the sensation alone.

You shriek, snort, cackle— you practically make every sound in the book, and man, could your laughter make anyone experience catharsis.

Sebastian grinned at you, giving you a small break from his onslaught. He stares at your face as you try to calm down, then gives a slight squeeze on your side as a substitute. “God, you’re adorable” he mutters, a keysmash escaping your throat. That came out of nowhere..?! Sebastian doesn’t seem to register what he said, and before you can call attention to it, another raspberry is suddenly planted on your stomach.

Laughter fills the room as Sebastian would prepare you a bombard of raspberries, pause for a minute to let you rest, then do it all over again. It was an endless cycle of tickly sensations and uncontrollable laughter — it was definitely a much better cycle to be trapped in than the constant pain of life and death — and it was one he took pride in creating.

Eventually though, all things had to come to an end, and once he saw you were nearing your limit, he stopped, removing himself from your figure and letting you take a well-deserved breather. His tail moved to allow you safely slide right off, though he still allowed it to be used essentially as a pillow— the only thing about being cold-blooded was he could help tired allies relax.

You still giggled mindlessly from the tickles, still feeling the sensations triggering your nervous system. Sebastian snickered at you, though it felt a little more gentle this time. “Calm down, bud. I’m done”, he reassured, wrapping his tail comfortably around you and using the end of his tail as his own pillow.

“You doing alright?”

Yeah…but he was so mean..!

“Was it really mean if you enjoyed it~?”

You grumble in defeat, crossing your arms and huffing in embarrassment. Sebastian snickered again before gently bumping his head against your own. “Alright, alright, I won’t tease anymore. Get some rest, then I’ll let you go.”

You sigh and loosen up. You suppose resting for a moment wouldn’t be so bad, especially after that. You had to admit though…you felt lighter. Happier than before. You smile warmly as you glance over at Sebastian, who seemed content and relaxed resting beside you.

You thank Sebastian.

“Anytime, bud.”

To answer your question from earlier…you had no clue who or what to consider a monster anymore. But out of all the monsters you were forced to surround yourself with…

The Hadal Blacksite was not forgiving, not by a mile. However, if you listened carefully, it was predictable. Every time you died, you knew with grim certainty that it was your fault, and that next time, you would be more prepared than the last.

Your boots scraped across the grating as you swung into another side chamber. Door... 27, if your count was correct. A half-collapsed storage nook, fluorescent lights buzzing like overgrown gnats. Your eyes swept the corners automatically: no shadows crawling where they shouldn't and no misplaced breathing. Clear.

That is when you saw it, lying on a crate in the center of the room like someone had just set it down and walked away.

Not Kroner, and not a breacher either.

It looked like a toy at first, something you'd hand to a kid, except... wrong. A crystalline rod, maybe the length of your forearm, capped with a jagged bulb of translucent glass. Strange grooves spiraled down the shaft like veins, glowing faintly with a pale lavender pulse. Every few seconds, the light shivered, like it was laughing at you.

You frowned, stepping closer. Urbanshade's junk usually looked... clinical, industrial. This was downright whimsical.

Still, you'd learned long ago that ignoring anomalies meant leaving potential tools on the table. You reached out and touched it. Cold... then warm, like it was shifting temperature to unsettle you.

When you lifted it, the grooves glowed brighter.

"...Huh."

The thought came half out of your mouth before you realized it. The weight was nothing, feather-light, almost begging to be waved around. And so, like the reckless idiot every runner is sometimes, you did.

With a flick of your wrist, a burst of air puffed across the crate, scattering dust over the far side of the room. Your eyebrows shot up.

You tried again, this time at the nearby wall. A faint shimmer traced the concrete before fading.

You grinned. "Okay, that's new."

Curiosity always burns hotter than caution. You aimed at a discarded barrel in the corner and gave it a playful swish. The thing vibrated, rattling like someone had shaken it from the inside. You stifled a laugh. This was harmless, whatever it was. Harmless and... weirdly fun.

And then you made the mistake of aiming it at yourself.

A ghost of pressure, no, of fingers, skimmed your wrist. You jerked, biting back a startled laugh. It stopped as quickly as it started, like the wand was teasing you.

You shook your head, chuckling nervously. "A-Alright, that's... a little much."

You twirled it again, amused. Maybe it was like the Toy Remote, one of those anomalies that were more joke than threat. Look, if Urbanshade wanted to stockpile silly artifacts from a clown's reject bin, that was their problem. For you, right now, it meant you had something to play with during the in-between.

And play you did, all the way down the next hallway. You poked it at pipes and watched them hiss louder. You flicked it at the flickering lights and made them spark. At one point, you even swished it at a door, just to see if it would magically open. (It didn't.)

The problem was, while you were amusing yourself, you weren't listening.

The metal scream hit first, the sound of claws dragging down steel from somewhere behind. Then the rush, that telltale hiss of water flooding through pipes at impossible speed. Your stomach sank. Angler!

You darted forward, scanning for cover. The lights in the hall dipped, then blazed with sickly brightness.

The locker! Your eyes locked on the battered storage unit set against the wall. No time to think, just move!

You yanked the door open, slid inside, and pulled it shut. Darkness swallowed you whole, except for the faint pulse of lavender light from the wand still clenched in your hand.

Your breath came shallow. You pressed yourself against the back of the locker, forcing the air out of your lungs, listening.

The Angler thundred past. Its roar echoed down the corridor, rattling the metal skin of your hiding place. For a moment, you thought it might stop. Then, silence. It was gone.

Relief washed through you, but it was short-lived because that's when you heard it.

A wet slurp from behind.

You froze. The smell hit next, like iron and rot, clinging to the back of your throat. Then the sound again, a ripple, a shift.

You tilted your head down, every nerve screaming denial.

Black sheen glistened in the faint glow of the wand. A puddle of void-mass. In the locker. With you.

Your heart kicked into overdrive. The space was too small, too tight. Nowhere to run. You'd trapped yourself.

The puddle shifted, tendrils lifting lazily like smoke, curling toward you. It didn't need to rush, you were cornered prey. Your grip on the wand tightened until your knuckles ached.

The thing inched closer. Your mind scrambled for options. None. No way out, no plan.

Desperation whispered.

You raised the wand, aimed it shakily behind you at the mass. Your hand moved before your brain caught up, flicking the crystal tip in the slightest, most pitiful gesture of defiance.

Light flared.

The void-mass convulsed.

For a moment, you thought it was going to explode. Then you realized it was quivering. Like it had been shocked with a thousand tiny pinpricks. The tendrils jerked, squirmed. The puddle rippled violently, spasming against the locker walls. Were those... squeaks you heard?

It looked... like it was laughing.

You blinked, sweat dripping down your temples. "No way," you whispered.

The wand pulsed again, and the puddle recoiled hard, smashing itself against the far corner of the locker to get away from the unseen phantom fingers tormenting it. You almost laughed yourself, half in hysteria and half in disbelief.

"Y-yeah," you breathed, voice shaking but edged with a grin. "And stay back!"

Slowly, cautiously, you reached for the locker handle. Your pulse still thundered in your ears.

You eased the door open and stepped out into the hall, never breaking eye contact with the puddle still writhing inside.

The moment you were clear, the puddle shot a tendril forward and slammed the locker door shut behind you with a metallic clang.

You didn't look back. You just gripped the wand tighter and started walking.

The door slid shut behind you with its heavy pneumatic hiss, and the first thing you did was collapse against the wall. Your lungs burned, your legs ached, and sweat slicked down the back of your neck.

Safe room at last.

The dim amber glow of the ceiling lights buzzed faintly overhead, the closest thing to comfort this place ever offered. The air was dry here, scrubbed clean of the chemical stench and saltwater tang that clung to the rest of the facility. Your whole body sagged in relief. You'd made it.

You looked down at the wand still clutched in your hand. Its grooves pulsed softly, almost smug.

You laughed weakly, the sound pressing against the sterile walls. "What... even are you?"

A void-puddle tickled into submission. The thought still made you shake your head in disbelief. You could already hear Sebastian's dry commentary in your head: "Ohh, yes, we catalogued that anomaly months ago. Harmless, unless you happen to be particularly sensitive."

Sensitive! The memory of that fleeting brush across your wrist earlier flickered through you, and you found yourself staring at the crystalline tip a little too long.

Curiosity gnawed at you again. You were safe. You had time. And no one was watching.

You sat down on the metal bench, holding the wand with a shaking hand. Slowly, carefully, you aimed it at your opposite forearm.

The glow brightened.

A feather-light stroke traced along the fine hairs of your skin. You flinched, breath catching in your throat. A high, startled laugh bubbled out of you before you could bite it back.

It stopped the second you lowered the wand.

You blinked down at your arm. Nothing there. No mark, no sensation lingering. Just the echo of that laugh in the empty room.

"...Oh, no..." you murmured, heart racing.

Because you already knew what was going to happen next.

You raised it again, this time toward your side. The crystal hummed.

Phantom fingers darted against your ribs, quick and relentless. You yelped, twisting sideways on the bench, a helpless giggle tearing loose. The invisible touches spread upward, brushing against your underarm, then darting down your stomach.

"AhahHAHA! OkahAHAHY okAhahaAY-!" You gasped, lowering the wand instinctively.

The tickling vanished.

You doubled over, panting, cheeks burning hot. Your whole body trembled with adrenaline.

It was real. Not just some silly parlor trick, not just a breeze or vibration. Actual tickling, impossible, entirely invisible, but... undeniable.

And worse... it responded to you.

You swallowed, staring at the thing. Any sane runner would have shoved it in their pack, locked it away until the fishy shopkeep could dissect it. But sanity had fled the moment you'd seen that void-puddle slam the door shut behind you, that monster which had ended so many previous runs for you, now scared of that wand's abilities.

You had to know.

You aimed again, this time at your stomach.

The wand pusled. A dozen phantom fingertips skittered across your belly at once. You shrieked, doubling over, arms wrapping tight as though that could shield you. The harder you tensed, the more insistent the invisible touches became, scribbling patterns that stole the breath from your lungs. It was trying to show you exactly how helpless you were.

"St-StOHoHoHOhOhOP!! OhOhOMyHyHYGohOhOD, StoHoHoHOP!!" Your voice cracked between helpless laughter.

And when you flicked the wand sideways in your struggle, the effect changed.

Phantom feathers now. Silky-soft, draaaagging across your neck, down the insides of your arms. You collapsed onto your side of the bench, kicking helplessly, laughter spilling without control.

Each motion with the wand shifted the sensation. A jab forward sent blunt pokes down your sides, staccato bursts that made you squeal. A twist of the wrist summoned ghostly invisible hands to squeeze at your waist, fingers dancing mercilessly.

It was like the wand was reading you, learning just where to press the hardest. Every flick unlocked a new tickly torment.

Your giggles bounced off the walls, echoing back at you like a chorus. You tried to smother them against your sleeve, but it didn't matter. No one could hear you here but yourself.

"Y-YouhUHUHu're NoHohOt RehHehhEal," you wheezed at the phantom fingers scribbling across your ribs, trying to will them out of existence. "Y-youHuHuhu're- juHuHuhUst- hEhehEHheE!! aAN OhOhOhObject-!!"

The wand pulsed brighter, as though amused.

The invisible touch slid down to your knees, spidering behind them until you kicked out violently, nearly dropping the wand. Your laughter broke into gasps, then shrieks, until you jammed the tip against the floor in desperation.

Everything stopped.

The silence that followed was deafening. Your chest heaved. Your arms wrapped protectively around your middle as if to shield yourself from something still there. Tears stung in your eyes from laughing too hard. Had you ever laughed this hard before?

You sat there for a long moment, shaking, before daring to pick the wand back up.

It flowed faintly again, innocently, like it hadn't just wrung you out like a rag doll.

Your lips curled into a dazed, breathless smile. "Y-youhuhu're dahangerous."

The wand pulsed as you set it down, but your mistake was when you pointed it towards you without thinking. The wand pulsed again, brighter than before, as if it had only been toying with you up until now. Before, it was just testing your sensitivity. You barely had time to register that thought before it hit you.

Phantom hands multiplied.

They came from everywhere at once! Curling under your arms, scribbling down your sides, kneading the backs of your knees until your legs kicked violently against the bench. Another set latched onto your feet, phantom fingers digging mercilessly at your arches and toes.

The laugh that ripped out of you didn't even sound human. It was raw, breathless, bursting out of you in helpless waves.

"AhahAHA!! NoHoHO!! NOhohOnoNOnOnOHOhO!!!" Your pleas dissolved into shrieking laughter. You twisted, rolled off the bench, hit the floor hard, and still couldn't escape the invisible touches.

Everywhere at once!

Ribs squeezed. Toes wiggled uncontrollably as phantom nails traced circles. Your stomach quivered beneath dozens of unseen fingertips. Each new wave layered over the last until your mind fuzzed with static, nothing but laughter and panic.

You couldn't even catch your breath. Tears blurred your vision, stinging hot as they spilled down your cheeks.

You tried grabbing the wand, tried to force it still, but every movement just triggered something new. A jab sent buzzing pokes at your sides. A twist unleashed a storm of feathers under your chin. When you dropped it for a moment in desperation, it only hummed brighter, punishing you with phantom hands clamping at your hips.

You couldn't think, couldn't process. It was like a curse, dragging you deeper into its rhythm. Your body convulsed, rolling on the sterile floor, half-sobbing between shrieks of laughter.

"HAhahAHHAHAHH-!! StHahHAHA- StHahaHAHAP!! PleHEhEHEHEASE!!!" Your voice was shredded, laughter breaking into hiccups.

It didn't listen.

You clawed at the ground, trying to crawl away, but your legs buckled as ghostly fingers dug into the backs of your knees again. Your arms flailed, catching nothing but air. Each desperate motion only seemed to please the wand more!

The intensity peaked, phantom touches everywhere, impossible to defend, your mind splintering into pure sensation. For one horrifying moment, you wondered if it would just keep going until you passed out entirely.

And then... silence.

The air stilled. Your body collapsed, boneless, onto the cool floor.

You lay there, gasping, chest heaving like you'd sprinted a mile at full tilt. Sweat plastered your hair to your forehead. Your uniform clung damp to your back. Every muscle trembled, weak from laughing too hard, too long.

The wand rested beside you, humming faintly, innocent as a lullaby.

You wiped your eyes with a shaking sleeve, giggles still bubbling out uncontrollably in aftershocks. Your ribs ached. Your throat was raw.

"... O-okahahay," you croaked, voice rough. "N-nehever... nehehever again."

Your hand twitched, reaching for the wand, then hesitated.

"M-mahaybe... maybe again lahater..."

The glow pulsed once, as if agreeing.

Getting back on your feet took longer than you wanted to admit. Your legs shook like you were balancing on a tightrope, each step unsteady. You shoved the wand into your belt, still wary of what it might do if you held it too long.

You staggered toward the door. Safe room time was over.

The hallway outside felt colder than usual. Your ears rang faintly, whether from leftover laughter or the facility's hum, you couldn't tell. You forced yourself forward, trying to shake the fog out of your head.

Moving into the next room, you heard it: mechanical whirring, servos clicking.

Searchlights.

Your stomach dropped.

Its massive body floated far above you, gleaming eyes scanning, its harpoons bristling with anticipation. Typically, you would've timed its patrol path, ducked between its blind spots, or maybe tossed an item to distract. Easy.

But your limbs weren't listening. Your knees still wobbled. Your head still spun. Every nerve was fried, twitching with phantom echoes of tickling that weren't even there anymore.

You moved too slowly.

The creature spun toward you, screeching with static. A beam of light shot out, line-of-sight locking onto you instantly. Your heart lurched.

"W-wait, no, I-!"

Too late.

The harpoons lashed forward. Pain exploded through your chest as the world fractured into black.

There was the liminal nothingness between runs, a void, and then, of course...

...Sebastian.

The lamp burned between you, outlining his sharp features in mocking glow. His arms folded across the counter as he leaned in, smirk already tugging at his mouth.

"Well, well," he drawled, his voice like sandpaper dipped in oil. "Back again, and so soon. Didn't make it too far, did we~?"

You winced, heat flooding your cheeks. You couldn't meet Sebastian's eyes. "Got distracted," you muttered.

"Distracted?" His tone wrapped around the word like it was the funniest thing he'd heard all day. He slid the document for the Searchlights forward, flipping it open, but it didn't interest either of you now. "How tragic. Shall I hazard a guess at the cause?"

Your blush deepened. Your hand pressed against your belt, and you felt a little disappointed at not finding the wand there, that stupid, cursed wand.

He tapped the counter with a long, clawed finger, smile widening. "No need to confirm. I can see it written all over your face. Whatever you picked up, it seems it had more... influence over you than any other entity in the facility."

Your throat tightened. "It's not like that."

"Mmm." His eyes glinted, unconvinced, as his glowing bulb drifted overhead. "Of course not. You simply forgot how to run properly after spending some quality time in a safe room with some artifact designed for...? Survey says? Pleasure, defense?" He chuckled, low and cruel. "Perhaps something else~?"

You nearly choked on your own spit. "I-! It-! That's-!"

He raised a hand, silencing you with a lazy wave. "No matter. The point stands. It killed you as surely as any monster could have. A pity that you lost it, though. I would have liked to examine it myself."

You slumped, mortified, wishing the dark would swallow you whole.

Sebastian leaned closer, grin wicked. "Next time, try to survive long enough to bring it back to me, hm? I'd very much enjoy... experimenting."

You groaned, burying your face in your hands.

"Distracted," he repeated softly, savoring the word.

The shop lights flickered, mocking you, then went dark.

The next run began cleaner, sharper.

You pushed out of the starting room with your shoulders squared, jaw set. The echoes of the last death clung to you like static, but this time, you weren't letting yourself slip. No wandering thoughts. No stupid distractions.

Room after room, you moved with precision. Your steps were measured, weapons ready, eyes darting over every corner. Entities barely slowed you. You cleared puzzles in record time without backtracking. Your breathing was steady, calm, and collected.

It was almost perfect.

Redemption.

By the time you were crawling through the vent into the shop, you were buzzing with relief. Your pulse slowed and your grip loosened. Seeing Sebastian, lounging in his little room as though the world didn't exist outside his shop, it almost made you smile.

Then you saw it.

On the stand behind him, propped neatly as though it were a priceless artifact: the wand.

Your heart plummeted.

Of course it had come back here. Of course it hadn't vanished into nothingness like other anomalies sometimes did. Of course! No, it was here, gleaming faintly, mocking you with its soft little hum.

Sebastian followed your gaze and smirked. "Ah. I see you've noticed the new addition to my collection."

You swallowed, throat dry. "...Why do you have that?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He leaned back, gesturing to it like a curator unveiling his finest work. "Recovered artifacts always return here, eventually. This one was practically eager." His voice lowered, sly. "I imagine you know why that is."

Heat flared in your cheeks. "Y-you don't-"

"Oh, but I do!" He plucked the wand from the shelf, holding it delicately between his claws like a poisonous plant. "Its properties are fascinating. A semi-sentient anomaly, designed to pacify the monsters of the Hadal Blacksite nonviolently. It seems to respond to stress responses, such as laughter and panic, but especially resistance. Multiplying phantom stimuli until the subject is overwhelmed. Quite ingenious, really. I call it a Pacification Tool, a tickling generator."

The word landed like a slap to the face. Tickling.

Your stomach twisted. Sebastian had said it so casually! As if he were discussing a lock-picking set or a keycard.

Sebastian tilted his head, studying you. His grin sharpened. "Curious. Some runners can endure it with minimal trouble. Others, however..." His bright blue eyes flicked deliberately toward you. "...cannot handle its effects in the slightest."

You prayed that the floor would eat you alive.

"You d-don't-" you stammered, defensive, your voice pitching higher. "You don't know that's what happened."

"Don't I?" He leaned forward, wand resting lazily against his palm. "One moment, you're alive, you find this item, and bring it into the saferoom. Twenty minutes later, you stumble out of the saferoom dazed, breathless, and die to the Searchlights like a novice. And now, you can't even look at this wand without blushing. Tell me again how I'm incorrect?"

You groaned, dragging your hands down your face. "If you say one more word, I swear-"

"Swear what?" His smile widened, all teeth.

"T-The very next flash beacon I find-"

His face twitched. He tapped the wand against the counter, slow, taunting. "Fine, then. For a demonstration-"

You froze. "W-wait. Don't even think about it-!"

Too late.

He flicked his wrist.

The wand burst to life brighter than before. It recognized you, and it remembered every spot on your body. Phantom hands exploded around you, not just the fingers this time, but brushes, combs, little pokers of air scratching across every vulnerable inch. Your underarms were attacked at once, bristles dragging in dizzying circles. Your ribs jolted as invisible comb teeth jabbed rhythmically. Your feet lit up with flickering pokes, heels to toes, while brushes swept cruelly over your arches.

You shrieked, stumbling backward. "SebAHAHAHHSTIAHAHAN!! HAHAHAHAHAH NONONOOAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Your body folded, laughter ripping out of you uncontrollably. It was sharper this time, more complex, as though the wand was proudly showing off all the new tricks it could do. You collapsed onto the floor, writhing, grabbing at empty air while phantom tools shredded every ounce of control you had left.

"HAHAHAHAH- P-PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!! STAHAHAHAHHAHAA-!! G-GOHOHOHOD, NOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHREE!!!" Your words broke into squeals as something that felt like a feather duster fluttered against your neck.

"Interesting. It really, really likes you." Sebastian's laugh cut through, rich and amused. "It's incredible. I can practically feel how happy the wand is, getting to tickle you again. You must be more sensitive than I thought. Just look at you."

You kicked helplessly, tears streaming down your face, throat aching with laughter. You couldn't breathe, couldn't think. All you could see was the shopkeeper's silhouette above you, perfectly composed, amused like this was the best entertainment he'd had in months. To be honest, it probably was.

"IHIHIHI'M GOHOHOHONNA- KIHIHIHIHILL YOUHUHUHUHUUU AHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA!!"

"Oh, I don't think you are." He twirled the wand in his fingers, and the phantom brushes redoubled on your stomach, circling your belly button mercilessly. "For that, you'd have to stand up first."

You convulsed, shrieking, laughter pouring out until your voice cracked.

Finally, finally, the pressure eased. The phantoms vanished, leaving you in a crumpled heap on the shop floor, wheezing and giggling uncontrollably. Your body tingled, trembling with aftershocks.

Sebastian slid the wand back onto the shelf as casually as one might set down a quill. "Effective, isn't it?"

You lay there, sprawled, sweat-drenched, cheeks blazing red. You wanted to be furious, to scream at the fish who had just tormented you. Instead, another laugh sputtered out of you, breathless and broken. "Ihihihi... hahahate youhuhu," you gasped between giggles.

He leaned down low, grin wicked. "You'll thank me later. Now, are you gonna buy anything?" He gestured toward his tail, full of items you'd need for the run.

You glared up at him, still too weak to stand. Then, you turned your gaze to the wand.

Sensing what you were about to demand, he cut you off before you could start. "It's not for sale. Consider it insurance."

You pointed a shaky finger up at him. "Y-youhuhu... are soho dead. Nehext run, Ihihi'm getting you bahack. Mahark myhy words."

Today was another day scheduled to train with Gojo as usual. You were a special candidate at Tokyo Jujutsu High and were in need of quick and effective training for what the school had planned for you.

By now you've had plenty of training sessions with Gojo and were well aware of how strong he can be. Nonetheless you recognized that he was probably your best training method to catch you up to speed.

There was a designated room you two always practiced in that gave you both plenty of space to carry out whatever types of techniques Gojo had planned on showing you.

It had been about 30 minutes in to practicing that you felt a shift in Gojo's vibe.

"Ahhh y/n, you've gotten faster haven't you hmm?" Gojo states, still swiftly moving and dodging your hits. "Looks like we're in need of some adjustments to our training."

Not sure what that meant, but you continue doing what you do best, knowing Gojo can be distracting on purpose.

You feel a sudden jab to your ribs in between movements. Was that an accident? You visibly flinch but pay no mind to it.

You jump up, attempting to position yourself where you'd have the advantage, but Gojo disappears quickly, of course.

Another jab.

You chuckle and pause, giving Gojo a look.

"Are you doing that?" you state, raising an eyebrow at Gojo.

"Doing what?" He almost sounded sarcastic.

"Nothing." You quickly move, hoping he wasn't expecting you to and sweep your foot under Gojo. You were so close this time.

In those few seconds, Gojo jumped up and grabs your waist, flipping you so that your back lands on the floor with such precision to not cause it to hurt.

You two have been training for months now, and you've grown to like the guy. He's incredibly strong but so childish at the same time. So childish in such, he starts tickling your ribs.

"AhahahHAHAHA!! GOJOHOHOHO what the heheheheck!?" You yell, confused on how you even got in such a position so quickly.

"Now now y/n what if you so happen to get in such a predicament that you find yourself giggly on the floor? Shouldn't we resolve how you'd handle yourself?" He says, playfully being the little shit he knows he's being.

"Gohohojo this is ridiculuhuhuous, impracticahahahal!" You were trying your hardest to get out of his hold. He's got you rolling on the floor attempting to bat away his every little poke, but he's so damn fast it's impossible.

"Impractical? Oh please. Ever heard of a tickle curse? You really don't want to get in the hands of those things. I mean look at you.. you're already almost in tears and it's only been a few seconds~"

Ugh does he seriously have to say things like that. So embarrassing. And flustering >.<

"You've got to keep your mind focused. How will you get out of this little y/n?"

Is he seriously talking like he's trying to actually teach a lesson here? What a pain.

"Hahahahahhah aaaahahaha *squeal* hehehe Goohohojo pleeeheheheease how am I suppohohosed to thihihihink right nohohohow?"

He finds a particularly sensitive spot between your ribs and your underarms, switching from that position to one where he's got both your arms pinned up in one hand.

"AHAHAHAHA GOJO PLEEEEHEHEHEHEASE I CAHAHAHAN'T!!!" You were seriously starting to sweat, and nearly cry too. Mirth was beginning to build and like he said, it's only been a short few moments.

"Come on y/n~ can't you think of something? Don't tell me I'm gonna lose you to some silly little tickling now."

What could you possibly do? This is Gojo we're talking about here. The man who can't even be touched. Let alone overpowered. This is impossible. You haven't quite perfected your cursed energy yet. But maybe you can find a way to maneuver yourself away...

You try a twisting move that'll cause his hands to twist too, forcing them to let go of yours, but even once he does, he quickly grabs your waist and has at it again.

"Ahhh smart one aren't we y/n? But it seems I've still got you~" Gojo teases. When is he going to let up? This can't be an actual lesson, right? Is he just messing around?

"Dahahahammit ughhh ahahahaha just stohohohop!! I'm not going tohohoho gehehehet caaauhahahaha-" You couldn't even finish your sentences anymore. How much longer is this going to continue?

Luckily the gods must be on your side because Megumi and Itadori walk in after hearing quite the deathly commotion inside the room.

"Ahaha y/n, looks like you're undergoing Gojo's special training." Yuji says, implying you weren't the only one to go through this.

"Poor thing. They look so done for." Megumi says, dryly.

"Oh hello there~" is all Gojo says like this is completely normal.

"I think they could use a little break. Wouldn't want the other student to think someone is getting murdered in here." Suggested by Megumi, who knows all too well how long this torment could go on for.

Gojo comes to a stop, still kneeling beside you to make sure you're still breathing.

"Ahahaha ahhhh thank you guys so much. What the hell Gojo!!" You smack him on the arm, still weak from what just happened.

"Whaaaat I told you, there are situations you'll never see coming." He says with a wink.

You give him a smirk and stand up to collect yourself. You all laugh about how ridiculous Gojo is but honestly, maybe he's not wrong. You only wish you had a way to get him back.

Maybe there is a way...

🤭😅 okaaaay there we go. I feel like the ending is a little quick but hey I'm new to this lol.

I hope this made you smileee ~