#lee!uzi

N leaned against the wall, a few feet away, watching. Not in a creepy way, of course. Just... curious. He liked seeing Uzi in her element. The way her wings twitched when she got frustrated, the way her scowl deepened when a screw didn't fit just right, it was kind of adorable.

"You're staring again," Uzi muttered without looking up.

"Am I?" N asked, tilting his head with mock innocence.

"Yes," she deadpanned, tightening a bolt. "Stop hovering. It's distracting."

N pushed himself off the wall, hands clasped behind his back. He walked closer, his grin subtle. Hovering was what he did. And judging by the way Uzi's shoulders tensed whenever he leaned over her workbench, he had a sneaking suspicion there was more to it than just "distraction."

Tonight felt like the perfect time to test that theory.

N sidled up beside her, leaning down as though to inspect her device. His hand, though, hovered suspiciously near her side. Not touching, just lingering in that space close enough to notice.

Uzi froze mid-twist of her screwdriver. Her head turned slowly, eyes narrowing at the empty air just above her ribs. "Don't," she warned flatly.

"Don't what?" N asked, his tone pure sugar. "I didn't even do anything."

Her glare sharpened. "You're thinking about it. That's enough."

He chuckled softly, straightening but leaving his hand dangling tantalizingly close. "Thinking isn't illegal yet, last I checked."

Uzi snapped her wings tighter around herself, trying to appear unbothered. But N caught the tiniest twitch in her expression, the faintest flicker of anticipation. And oh, that was too tempting.

N drew slow circles in the air with his fingers, hovering them near her ribs. He even let out an exaggerated gasp. "Oh, no, look how close I am. Tragic, really. One little slip and- oops."

His fingertip tapped her side lightly.

Uzi jolted like she'd been shocked. She immediately swatted at his hand, screwdriver clattering against the floor. "N!"

"What? That wasn't even a tickle," he protested innocently. He pocked again, quicker this time, and her wings gave a betraying twitch.

"Q-Quihit it!" she snapped, curling away, though the corners of her mouth were twitching like she was fighting a smile.

N leaned closer, voice dropping into a conspiratorial murmur. "Ohhh... your wings twitched. That's interesting."

Her glare sharpened. "Bite me."

He grinned, chin propped on one hand like he had all the time in the world. "Tempting, but I think I'd rather see how long you can hold out."

Her fists clenched. Her whole body screamed with tension, anticipation coiled like a spring. She tried to keep her usual tough-girl posture, but the longer N's fingers hovered, the more restless she got.

Without warning, N darted his fingers into her side, skittering them playfully.

Uzi erupted. Laughter burst from her like a crack in a dam, harsh and uncontained. "N-!! StoHoHoHOP!! IhIHI swHEHEHEHAR-!" She twisted violently, almost knocking her workbench over in her thrashing.

He laughed along with her, dodging her flailing arms. "Youhu're soho juhumpy! I barely touched you."

"Shuhut- shuhut uhuhup!" she squealed through gritted teeth, shoving at his chest. But her eyes squeezed shut, her grin fighting its way out despite her best efforts.

N only teased her side for a few moments before pulling back, hands raised like he'd completed a science experiment. "See? Now that wasn't so bad, right?"

Uzi glared at him, chest heaving, cheeks flushed. "Doho that again and IhIHI'll-"

Her threat dissolved into a strangled giggle as his fingers hovered dangerously close to her hips. He wasn't even touching her yet, and she was already twitching.

"Ohhh~," N sing-songed, grinning wide, "I think I found something even better~!" N tilted his head, eyes gleaming with playful curiosity. "You're already squirming, and I haven't even touched your hips yet. That... feels important."

Before Uzi could scramble away, N caught her wrists in one hand and pinned them lightly against the workbench. His grip wasn't tight, just enough to keep her from smacking him in the face while she thrashed.

"Lehet me go!" she barked, kicking out.

"Not until I confirm my hypothesis," N replied sweetly. His free hand hovered just over her hips, fingers twitching dramatically. "Do you think you can hold out?"

She pressed her lips together, glaring daggers at him.

He struck. Fingers digging into Uzi's hips in quick, wiggling motions.

Uzi's response was immediate and violent. She shrieked, laughter tearing out of her throat as her legs kicked wildly. "N!! YOuHuhu- YOuhUHuu JeheheHEErk!! StohOhOhOP!!"

Her tough-girl mask shattered. She bucked against N's hold, twisting with every ounce of gremlin energy in her body.

N laughed gently, keeping the pace playful rather than overwhelming. "Wow, you're loud. I'm impressed!" Thinking he'd give her hips a break, N shifted his hand, brushing along the edges of her wings.

Uzi screeched. The sound cracked halfway between a laugh and a startled yelp. Her wings snapped tight against her back, but not before he traced just along the sensitive edges.

"Ohhh, that's even worse, huh?" N teased, his tone light, curious, affectionate. "You're all curled up already."

She couldn't form words, just hiccupy laughter and growls, squirming so hard she nearly toppled both of them.

After a few moments, he slowed, pulling his hands back, tilting his head with concern. "Hey, you still good?"

Panting, Uzi shot him a glare through her flushed face. "Youhuhuhu're... dehehead," she wheezed, even as she was still giggling.

N released her wrists, stepping back with a satisfied smile. "It's more fun when you just trust me."

Uzi slumped against the workbench, hair sticking up in every direction. "Bihite me..." she muttered, but there was no real venom in it.

He chuckled, straightening. "I'll take that as a thank-you."

Her eyes narrowed. "You know you're not getting away with that, right?"

N blinked innocently. "Getting away with what?"

Before he could react, Uzi lunged forward, fingers aimed at his ribs. "Your turn, idiot!!"

“Cyn. I swear to robo-jesus, I’m going to have you surgically removed.”

“You would— have already done that if you— could. Giggle.”

Uzi heaved a frustrated sigh, restraining the urge to strangle the annoying pest of a tail critter head as she sat at her workstation, leaning against the desk in front of her. Cyn was right after all, it’s not like this parasite could be removed as easy as a leech. Still figuring out a fix. And if she strangled Cyn now, it would only hurt the both of them anyway. Not worth it… yet.

The purple-haired drone kept herself focused on the disassembled railgun in front of her, currently re-wiring some of the internal mechanisms as something to keep her occupied for now while N and V were out on patrol around the Colony for J sightings. Cyn, of course, decided this was the perfect time to make an appearance, inhabiting the little critter head of her tail just to lovingly pester her host as much as possible.

“Any— way. I want food. Go con— consume food. Your friend Thad, maybe? Next— door.”

“What? I’m not going to eat Thad, and we’re not even that hungry. You just want an excuse to bother me. You get no oil.” Uzi hissed, rolling her digital eyes as she ignored the sight of the pouting tail raised beside her.

“But I— But I want oil. Uzi. I want oil.” Cyn huffed insistently, drooping a little as she observed her host with her numerous pupil-less yellow eyes. “Uzi. Oil.”

“BITE ME.”

Cyn paused for a moment, taking in Uzi’s classic angsty retort. She always thought it was rather redundant. But she decided to take it literally this time, practically giving a mental shrug before dipping forward. “If you insist.” And without giving Uzi time to process beyond a confused look, she opened her mouth and latched onto the drone’s nearest side.

“Hey, wha—AHAIT!” Uzi yelped, completely startled out of her thin focus, jerking away from the sensation and dropping her pliers. It felt incredibly odd, with Cyn not fully sinking her fangs in a harsh bite, but rather a gentle little nom that made her want to wriggle out of her metallic skin.

The both of them froze after that, with the parasitic tail unlatching from Uzi’s side for the moment, the both of them processing that joint sensation. While Uzi could experience more of what Cyn felt, Cyn only experienced glimmers of what Uzi physically felt, so this caught her off guard. Uzi glanced down to see the critter with a seemingly puzzled expression, meanwhile her own was that of annoyance and dread as she realized what this would lead to.

Cyn reached the conclusion herself a delayed minute later, an almost wolfish grin overtaking the rather expressionless tail head.

Uzi just shrunk away as best as she could in her chair, steeling her expression to glare daggers at the now mischievous-looking parasite, trying to dissuade any ideas she now had.

“No… Don’t you fucking dare.”

“…Mischievous. Smile.”

But there wasn’t much escape from her own tail, and Cyn immediately dove forward to take advantage of this weakness. She latched onto Uzi’s side again, sharp fangs just gently nibbling through the dark fabric of the hoodie. This instantly provoked a reaction, with Uzi dissolving into giggles against her will from the incessant nibbles.

“Cyn— CYN NOHOHOHO!” She hissed through the laughter bubbling up, much more childish than she would’ve liked to admit, not her usual crazily mad-raving giggles.

Cyn, meanwhile, was thoroughly entertained now, no longer craving oil and instead purely wanting to torment her host. The tingly feelings weren’t so bad to her anyway, unlike the way Uzi was suffering.

“What’s— wrong, Uzi? You seem to be in a, much— better mood now. Nom.”

“Thahat’s NOHOHOT whahat’s hahahappenihihing here!” Uzi snapped back, failing to glare as harshly as she usually would, expression forced into a wide grin as more cackles messily spilled out.

Cyn continued her rapidly soft nibbles all along the side, occasionally darting over to lightly nip at her purple host’s stomach to worsen the sensations. Uzi’s usual defenses were crumbling, much to her annoyance and embarrassment. She was damn close to toppling off her desk chair at this point, just trying to swat away the mischievous critter head and clamp her arms to her sides. How could she lose to her own tail?? This was mortifying. A few squeaks slipped in here and there, furthering her shame.

Uzi had to get her to stop. She couldn’t go on like this, and she certainly didn’t want N and V arriving to find her on the floor as a mess of giggles, with the latter catlike drone would no doubt relentless tease her about.

So after another fruitless minute of attempting to smack away the tail, Uzi finally huffed out an offer, anything to get Cyn to stop the devastating ticklish nibbles. “OHOHOKAHAY STAHAHAP!! IHIHI’LL— I’ll gehehet yohohou ohohoil!!”

Cyn pretended to contemplate it for a moment, pausing to give Uzi a second’s reprieve, before immediately replying and darting back to nom on her other side. “Mm— no. Only this. Smirk. Nom nom nom.”

Uzi erupted into snickers again, shrinking away from the little critter as she tried to stay on her chair. She desperately tried to think up anything to get Cyn to stop, if only so she wouldn’t be this disheveled when N and V came back. And she needed to buy the yellow-eyed parasite’s silence as well.

And so Uzi finally blurted out a second offer, which she knew she would regret but would follow through anyway.

“I’LL WEHEHEAR A BOHOHOW FOHOR AN HOHOUR TOO IF YOHOHOU STAHAP AND DOHON’T SAHAY A WOHOHORD!”

Cyn fully stopped at that, the magic word being spoken. Bows. She could get Uzi to wear a bow. Yippie!! Ticklish torment could be doled out on her host later. This offer was precious.

She pulled back and glanced up with her pupil-less eyes to the angsty drone wearing that forced smile, a satisfied grin still on that critter head. “Head tilt. Okie. Terms ac— accepted.”

Uzi collapsed back in her chair to catch her artificial breath, trying to force away the lingering phantom tingles and fix her frown, giving Cyn one last annoyed swat. She looked over to see the critter now expectantly holding a huge black bow in her mouth and staring up at the drone, like she had been prepared for this moment.

The Worker sighed and begrudgingly gestured for Cyn to fix the accessory atop her head over her beanie, which the Solver parasite gladly did a split second after.

Not even half an hour later did N and V arrive back in Uzi’s place, greeted by the sight of the grumpy angst-filled drone working away at her desk, wearing a that black bow with Cyn complacently sipping on a “juice box” of oil beside her.

N barely resisted the urge to coo “Awwww” and smile, just keeping a hand over his mouth. V raised a digital brow, glancing between Uzi and the happy tail with an amused smirk. “Should I even ask?”

Uzi looked over to the Disassembly Drones, narrowing her deep violet eyes at V.

“…No.”

———

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“Understandable.”

N said, even though he didn’t have the slightest idea what Uzi had said. He reached over and patted her on the head.

Uzi looked up at him with a miserable pout.

“I hate school, my teachers can bite me.”

She said. N frowned.

“I take it the essay didn’t get graded as you’d hoped?”

Uzi huffed.

“I got a C!! A goddamn C, N!”

N blinked. That wasn’t a horrible grade.

“But… it’s a passing grade, right? It’s not like you’re flunking the class.”

Uzi looked at him like he’d lost his mind.

“N I spent weeks on this essay! I worked so hard! All for a C! It should’ve at least gotten a B!”

N patted her head as she went on to rant about the unfairness of the class and how she deserved better. By the time she was finished, she was out of breath.

N dared to speak.

“Do you need anything?”

Uzi sighed, her shoulders slumping.

“Actually…. I could use a back rub if you wouldn’t mind.”

Even though she’d had them for a few months now, Uzi was still getting used to the extra weight of wings on her back. Sometimes they made her back ache, so back rubs were a saving grace.

N smiled.

“Sure!”

He chirped, pleased to be able to help.

“Come here! You can lay on my lap!”

Uzi smiled gratefully and laid across his lap on her stomach, using her arms as a pillow.

N smiled softly.

“Comfy?”

Uzi nodded.

“Mhm. Very. You’re oddly comfortable to lay on.”

N laughed, rubbing her back. The way Uzi melted and sighed against him reminded him of sleepy cat. Just adorable. He half expected her to start purring.

Uzi allowed her eyes to drift shut as she relaxed in N’s lap. Robo-God, how was he so good at back rubs? Did have some sort of special programming? She was completely blissed out.

N smiled, his hands working up to the base of Uzi’s wings. But she stiffened, causing him to pause.

“Oh biscuits, I’m sorry! Did I hurt you, Zi?”

Uzi opened her eyes and looked at him. Her visor had faint glowing lines on her cheeks— she was blushing.

“Huh? Oh no, I’m okay N. My wings are just— erm- sensitive.”

N stares at her, processing her words. Was she— oh no way! Biscuits, this was gonna be fun.

“Uzi,”

N said, unable to keep the grin off his face.

“By sensitive do you mean…. Ticklish?”

Uzi’s whole visor lit up bright purple.

“What- god no! Why would I- ugh- bite me!”

N’s grin widened.

“You know, lying isn’t nice, Uzi.”

“I’m not lying, you goober!”

“Name calling isn’t nice either.”

N wasn’t actually mad, but he wasn’t about to pass up this opportunity to mess with Uzi. Before she could say anything more, N shoved his hands under her wings, tickling her, gently of course.

Uzi screeched, arching her spine.

“Dammnit N!! Stop it!”

She tried, she really tried not to laugh, but N was tickling her too much.

N beamed, his tail wagging. He loved making her laugh. It made him happy.

“Stop squirming, silly! I can’t tickle you if you’re moving!”

“Th-that- ahahahaha- that’s the point, dummy!”

N pouted at her dramatically.

“Dummy?! Rude! I thought you loved me!”

He tickled her harder, pressing his thumbs in the spots just under her wings, causing Uzi to cackle.

Then, something even cuter happened.

Uzi. Snorted.

N stopped tickling her abruptly, his visor, literally, displaying heart eyes.

“Oh. My. Biscuits! You snort?! That’s the cutest thing ever!!!”

Uzi blushes bright purple, covering her mouth.

“Bite me! It’s not cute! Not at all- N!!! Ahahaha- snort- stop tickling me!”

N grinned, having started tickling her again, this time on her sides.

“No can do, Zi! Not until I hear a few more of those cute snorts.”

Uzi cackles, squirming and wriggling in N’s lap, her face heating up each time she snorted.

After a solid 5 minutes, N decided to stop since Uzi had started wheezing and hiccuping.

“Hehehe- goober….. you’re mean!”

N laughed at Uzi’s giggle-drunk statement. He knew she didn’t mean it.

“Haha, yup I know! But hey, at least I made you feel better!”

And the strange part was, Uzi did feel better. Much better.

“Heh, yeah, I guess you did, you goober.”

Uzi paused, then smirked.

“But do you know what would make me feel even better?”

N tilted his head like a puppy.

“What?”

In one quick motion, Uzi flipped so she was pinning N down, grinning evilly.

“Revenge.”

It really was true. Laughter was the best medicine.

And N’s laugh could’ve cured cancer.