track seven - i don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming
series masterlist
WINTER BREAK 2023
ines_alonso, oscarpiastri, and charles_leclerc posted new stories
last night's gingerbread houses, 3 guesses which one's mine
babysitting duties today 😁
watching bluey because according to the kiddos it's the show that reminds them of danielricciardo, for the record he does give off bandit energy, so i agree
petite fraise is very happy at the alonso-leclerc-piastri home
gotham's greatest protector is so cute, villains tremble before him
liked by lilymhe, francesca.cgomes, kellypiquet and others
ines_alonso first year hosting in the alonso-leclerc-piastri home this year in spain next year its monaco, trust me. p.s. charles is officially banned from stepping foot in our kitchen.
maxverstappen1 oh my god, what the hell did he do this time?
oscarpiastri the firefighters were involved this time max, that's all you need to know
charles_leclerc okay, you people are being dramatic and i am not being dramatic
ines_alonso THE OVEN WAS ON FIRE! THERE WERE FLAMES CHARLES!
charles_leclerc you're being dramatic, there was no fire
oscarpiastri the firemen laughed at you charles, there was a fire.
user1 two cats and charles leclerc? how the hell do they manage?
oscarpiastri i ask myself that same question every day
charles_leclerc fuck you, i'm a delight
ines_alonso except when we have to call the firemen because someone lit the oven on fire BAKING COOKIES!
user2 the matching pjs and slippers?? oh i'm in love with this trio
user3 inés, how did you convince them to get matching pjs and slippers?? i need tips on how to convince my partner
ines_alonso threaten to withhold sex, it does wonders
user3 why didn't i think of that?
fernandoalo_oficial i can read this...
charles_leclerc what's sex? never heard that word in my life 😅
oscarpiastri what is this sex she speaks of??
fernandoalo_oficial watch your backs going into turn 1 in bahrain
user4 peepaw, stop causing controversies, this is why they call you a war criminal
francesca.cgomes marry me and make me delicious treats??
ines_alonso meet me at the courthouse tomorrow??
pierregasly absolutely not!
oscarpiastri now i'm thinking we should've had you and kika get fake married instead of charles and max
charles_leclerc why are you always feeding into this shit?
oscarpiastri why not?
user5 she has style and yet her partners always dress in the same skinny jeans and shorts
user6 oscar needs to step up his fashion style
user7 charles needs to wear something that isn't those fuckass tiedye jeans
user5 those jeans are a horror to humanity
alex_albon there is not a single thought behind those eyes, just like oscar
oscarpiastri stop slandering my name
alex_albon tell your girlfriend to stop flirting with mine and i'll stop
oscarpiastri carry on, there's no use in me telling her, she'll never stop
user5 nano living up to the chaos of fernando alonso
user6 i bet he knocked down the tree
ines_alonso he did and the charles scolded him, it was quite hilarious to see
georgerussell63 why does honey always look like that?
ines_alonso like what?
georgerussell63 lost
charles_leclerc she gets it from her father
oscarpiastri fuck you, she gets it from you
georgerussell63 this was not about either one of you but i fear i may have just started a war
jensonbutton the wife is demanding to know where you got those slippers from
ines_alonso i'll send her the link in exchange for pictures of you in them!
brittnybutton deal!
ines_alonso pleasure doing business with you mrs.button
ximena.gomez nice holiday?
ines_alonso i'm still mad at you but they're at each other's throats ximena, help me.
pierregasly at each other's throats or in each other's throats?
ines_alonso blocked and reported.
user8 wait, so they did get a place in spain?
user9 it looks like they did but it could be a rental for the holiday season?
user10 honestly, i would love it they got a place in spain because that would mean the s*inz mafia can't get away from them even in spain
use8 they can't get away from them even in sp
user11 honestly can't tell who i'm supposed to be more jealous of, inés for having two hot boyfriends or charles and oscar for dating inés
user12 charles and oscar because they have inés. i mean who gets jealous over the men?
user13 all three??
user11 i think all three is the only right choice
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2024 AKA DIVORCEGATE
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2024 AKA GASLIGHT, GATEKEEP, GIRLBOSS
liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, fernandoalo_oficial and others
ines_alonso i've always looked good in navy 💙
tagged: redbullracing
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charles_leclerc words cannot describe how proud we are of you mon soleil. looking forward to racing against you next year! ❤ by ines_alonso
oscarpiastri so excited to be racing against you again sunshine. i can't believe we finally get to share the same tracks again, looking forward to it! ❤ by ines_alonso
patriciooward felicitaciones hermana! this is what you deserve and so much more, i can't wait to see what you do on the track! ❤ by ines_alonso
alex_albon INÉS JESSICA ALONSO, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?!
ines_alonso my middle name is not jessica
alex_albon I DON'T CARE! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME, YOUR BEST FRIEND?? AND I FUCKING BET MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN KNEW!
maxverstappen1 I HAVE AN NDA YOU DIMWIT?!
alex_albon I DON'T CARE?! THIS IS THE SHIT WE TELL EACH OTHER!!
fernandoalo_oficial no hay suficientes palabras para describir lo orgulloso que estoy de ti. te mereces esto y todo lo bueno que hay en tu vida. [translation: there are not enough words to describe how proud i am of you. you deserve this and everything else that is good in your life] ❤ by ines_alonso
ines_alonso papa, voy a llorar
fernandoalo_oficial it's okay, i'm crying too
jensonbutton going to miss one of my favorite co-hosts, who else will help me terrorize the evil woman?? but congratulations baby alonso, glad your dream finally came true. ❤ by ines_alonso
ines_alonso it's okay jenson, we can terrorize her post race together, i promise. and thank you, it means a lot 🥹
isahernaez felicitaciones pequeña!! te lo mereces, no dejes que nadie te diga algo diferente! [translation: congrats little one!! you deserve it, don't let anyone tell you anything different] ❤ by ines_alonso
ines_alonso gracias isa! espero verte en una carrera pronto! [translation: thank you isa! i hope to see you at a race soon]
isahernaez obvio! nadamas dime cuando y ahí estoy, tengo que apoyar a mi pilota favorita [obviously! tell when and i'll be there, i have to support my favorite driver]
userxx i love the survived carlos sainz jr club ❤ by ines_alonso and isahernaez
sabrinacarpenter CONGRATULATIONS!!!
ines_alonso THANK YOU!!!
user14 wait, so who's the wag now?
oscarpiastri we're both her wags
charles_leclerc we're just ken and she's everything
user14 down bad, both of you
louieee BITCH?! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?!
ines_alonso I'M SORRY BABY!! I COULDN'T TELL YOU!!
louieee I'M SO PROUD OF YOU BABY!! YOU DESERVE THIS AND EVERYTHING GOOD IN LIFE!!
carlossainz55 wow, what a way to stab your own brother in the back
redbullracing looking forward to working with you in 2025! ❤ by ines_alonso
user16 SHUT THE FUCK UP?! RED BULL RACING JUST EARNED A NEW FAN!!
user17 carlos sainz jr found screaming and throwing up in a ditch somewhere
schecoperez felicitaciones baby alonso!!
ines_alonso gracias checo!
taylorswift congrats little alonso 💙 ❤ by ines_alonso
ines_alonso I'M RACING WITH THE NUMBER 13 MOTHER!!
patriciooward i'm begging you, be normal for once
taylorswift that's a great number to pick 😉
user18 i bet oscar and charles are glad to have red bull in the house without seeming like traitors for going out and buying it
user19 bestie, what the fuck does that mean?
user18 oscar once said he doesn't like monster but he does drink another energy drink (red bull i'm guessing) and charles just seems like he's hopped up on red bull 80% of the time.
user20 those bitches love to drink red bull and you can't convince me otherwise
tkelce congrats inés and good luck next year!
ines_alonso i might be freaking out a little bit right about now but thank you!
danielricciardo no inés, you must stand strong, go bills!
ines_alonso i'm so sorry mr. kelce but my loyalties align with the honey badger
tkelce okay?
user21 nothing is better than someone like travis kelce getting involved in the world of formula 1 because these people are insane and he's not ready for their chaos.
kellypiquet congratulations, looking forward to spending time with you in the garage next year 🩷
ines_alonso thank you kelly, looking forward to terrorizing max with p 🩷
maxverstappen1 p does not terrorize me, you and alex on the other hand...
alex_albon okay, so find other friends bitch. oh that's right, you can't!
pedri felicitaciones!!
ines_alonso gracias pedri!!
user22 all these people congratulating inés because it's what she deserves is making me tear up a little bit.
aussiegrit congratulations inés, there's no doubt you'll do amazing.
ines_alonso be honest, is oscar holding you at gun point?
aussiegrit they're going to think i hate you
ines_alonso jury's still out to be honest
lewishamilton it'll be an honor to share the track with you inés
ines_alonso thank you lewis, that means a lot coming from you
nicorosberg make sure you terrorize max for me
ines_alonso will do britney 🫡
maxverstappen1 i will wipe the floor with her
nicorosberg i will destroy you on sky sports and will tell fernando exaggerating lies that you said about inés
ines_alonso i just sit back and giggle at this chaos
danielricciardo make me proud baby alonso!
ines_alonso always honey badger
user23 and this one goes to all the haters who were saying what about daniel? clearly he was aware of this and is fine with it. y'all are just misogynistic.
eliasowens congratulations kid, i might give you a lot of shit for stealing my kids but you deserve this, don't let lord voldemort ruin this for you
ines_alonso elias, i love your kids, jury's still out on you but thanks.
eliasowens you suck sometimes inés
𝜗𝜚 i hope all of you that celebrate christmas had a great one, this was originally supposed to go up yesterday but i forgot to post it.
𝜗𝜚 and yes, this is 100% what the poll i posted ages ago was about, so writing this part, that deals with 2024 preseason is insane to me because the 2024 season was just so chaotic and heartbreaking. i am so not ready to write out logan and daniel's departures, even writing this part knowing what i know about daniel and red bull breaks my heart. plus even though it's a fanfic i don't feel good about this plot point and me just blatantly putting yuki to the side this way. i know why he didn't get the red bull seat but i have every right to be upset about it either way and i will be for a while.
¡disclaimer!
𝜗𝜚 this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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track five - birds of a feather, we should stick together
series masterlist
SUMMER BREAK 2023
ines_alonso, charles_leclerc, and oscarpiastri posted new stories
what is genuinely wrong with this man??
why is she standing in the middle of the road?? to take a selfie??
surprise shawty!!
maxverstappen1 replied to your story
maxverstappen1 how much time do you have??
ines_alonso GO TO THERAPY!!
maxverstappen1 i'll go when you do
ines_alonso that's not fair. you have deeper trauma than me.
maxverstappen1 bitch please
alex_albon replied to your story
alex_albon this is such a charles thing to do
ines_alonso it was oscar actually
alex_albon no freaking way oscar did that
ines_alonso oh boy oscar has all of you fooled into thinking he's normal.
francesca.cgomes replied to your story
francesca.cgomes you wouldn't understand the need for perfect lighting, you're a man
charles_leclerc in the middle of a road??
francesca.cgomes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do leclerc
charles_leclerc you're right, i'm so sorry
logansargeant replied to your story
logansargeant mate, what is that picture of charles?
oscarpiastri he pissed me off so i took a horrible picture of him
logansargeant what the hell did he do to you?
oscarpiastri he called my car ugly piece of metal, after i jokingly said i wouldn't be caught dead in a ferrari
logansargeant i will never understand how your relationship works
oscarpiastri charles and i like to squabble for shits and giggles. inés hates it.
liked by carmenmundt, lilymhe, iamrebeccad and others
ines_alonso we're gonna have fun in sun ☀️🎶
tagged: alex_albon, lilymhe
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maxverstappen1 i was unaware we were doing a couples holiday?? where's my invite??
alex_albon lost in the post i guess
ines_alonso this was 100% an accident
maxverstappen1 traitors, both of you
lilymhe let's run away together and leave the boyfriends behind?
ines_alonso deal, when and where?
alex_albon oh i bet [redacted] just let out an unholy screech
ines_alonso can confirm that is what just happened. he is now pouting on the couch.
user01 are those, high school musical lyrics?
user02 how the fuck did you recognize that? it's the most generic ass caption.
user01 i had a huge crush on vanessa hudgens, i still do, so i naturally watched hsm so many times.
user03 THOSE ARE HSM LYRICS!! I WOULD RECOGNIZE THEM ANYWHERE!!
alex_albon i see we're not including the picture where [redacted] almost drowned you
fernandoalo_oficial sorry what?
ines_alonso he's being dramatic. alex pushed me off the boat and [redacted] helped me up
fernandoalo_oficial i know where you live alexander
alex_albon you don't?
fernandoalo_oficial that's what i want you to think
alex_albon i'm actually scared now
charles_leclerc you look angry in that second picture
ines_alonso some girl was flirting with my boyfriend
charles_leclerc understandable, have a good day
user03 charles said, not my problem
user04 well, if the rumors are true, then i want to know was someone flirting with oscar or charles??
user05 probably charles
user03 put some respect on my man oscar ❤ liked by arthur_leclerc
user04 arthur leclerc, head of the oscar piastri defense club
francesca.cgomes did you guys play mermaids??
ines_alonso you know it but someone (alex) was being a party pooper and didn't want to play
logansargeant common alex albon L
alex_albon uncalled for logan
francesca.cgomes i would play mermaids with you inés
ines_alonso marry me 👩🏻❤️💋👩🏻💍
sebastianvettel it was nice seeing you inés!
ines_alonso please come back to the grid. we miss you. we need you.
sebastianvettel i quite like retirement
ines_alonso so did my dad and then he came back
patriciooward wow and no visit??
ines_alonso you literally told me, 'i don't want to see you'
patriciooward lies. slander. dishonor on you! dishonor on your cow!
ines_alonoso i'm telling rossi!
patriciooward I'M TELLING ROSSI!
user06 inés being friends with a bunch of people in different careers will never not be funny to me.
user07 girl is out here collecting friends in different careers like infinity stones
user06 it's more like pokémon no? there's only six infinity stones
user07 see now that you say that pokémon makes more sense
user08 papaya orange and ferrari red nails?? she's dating charles and oscar confirmed.
user09 nurse, she's out again but also i aspire to be this delusional
user08 you'll see that i was right when the confirm it themselves.
oscarpiastri why does it look like you were in four different countries already??
ines_alonso i was only in three oscar! just because your ass is a homebody and prefers to be in australia doesn't mean the rest of us do??
oscarpiastri i was literally in monaco?? bumped into charles and everything
maxverstappen1 ahh the proper monaco experience, bumping into prince charles at least once
charles_leclerc okay so fuck you max.
maxverstappen1 name a time and place baby 😘
kellypiquet 🤨🤨
ines_alonso 🤨🤨
oscarpiastri 🤨🤨
arthur_leclerc 🤨🤨
alex_albon 🤨🤨
fernandoalo_oficial 🤨🤨
danielricciardo 🤨🤨
patriciooward 🤨🤨
f1 🤨🤨
logansargeant 🤨🤨
redbullracing 🤨🤨
lewishamilton 🤨🤨
lorenzotl 🤨🤨
jensonbutton 🤨🤨
scuderiaferrari 🤨🤨
pierregasly 🤨🤨
instagram 🤨🤨
puma 🤨🤨
maxverstappen1 man you guys know what i meant
ines_alonso happy pride month i guess 🏳️🌈
alex_albon BE WHOOO YOOOOUUU ARRREEE!!!
danielricciardo it's okay we support! ALLY!!!
maxverstappen1 the three of you can go fuck yourselves
user10 max is never beating the gay allegations after this
user11 this plus the grindr thing, i fear the closet is made of glass
user12 to be fair, max does nothing to help the allegations
3 HOURS LATER
liked by fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel, aussiegrit and others
📍 ines_alonso the alternate caption was betty, james, and august if they got their heads out of their ass and dated each other but oscar said that would send people into a coma
user13 THAT'S WHAT WOULD SEND US INTO A COMA?? NOT EVERYTHING ELSE??
user14 girl, not you tagging taylor swift. (also was that for speak now (tv)?)
ines_alonso taylor has to know that i am committed to her and the agony her albums bring me, even when i'm in a relationship (yes it was. nothing better than crying to dear john)
logansargeant IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!! I WAS GOING TO LOSE IT IF YOU DIDN'T ANNOUNCE IT SOON!!
oscarpiastri you're being dramatic
logansargeant i'm going to enter a secret relationship and force you to keep it a secret and see how long it takes for you to crack
user15 THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME IS WAS OSCAR AND CHARLES!!
user16 I TOLD YOU GUYS BUT NOOO YOU ALL CALLED ME CRAZY. I EXPECT AN APOLOGY WITH TEARS!!
user15 NOT THE FUCKING TIME ANNIE!!
user16 IT'S ALWAYS THE RIGHT TIME TO RUB IT IN EVERYONE'S FACES THAT I WAS RIGHT!!
pierregasly THE GROUP CHAT IS FREED FROM THE SHACKLES!!
charles_leclerc calm down calmar, no need to be so dramatic
pierregasly DRAMATIC? I KEPT THIS SECRET FOR 2 YEARS CHARLES! 2 YEARS!
alex_albon oh thank god. i can breath again
ines_alonso you're exaggerating albono
alex_albon i am not exaggerating, i couldn't handle keeping this a secret any longer.
taylorswift i think the alternate caption would've been much better 😉
ines_alonso holy shit- i died, dead, deceased. rip me. please marry my dad
taylorswift tell him to show me the ring first 😂😂
ines_alonso oh my god fernandoalo_oficial you heard the lady!!
fernandoalo_oficial please don't feed into her delusions. dumb and dumber do enough of that already
charles_leclerc if the lady wants to play mermaids in the middle of the ocean, then we'll play mermaids fernando
oscarpiastri yeah fernando, if she wants to play mermaids we'll play mermaids
taylorswift oh this adorable
oscarpiastri have i told you that i love you lately?
charles_leclerc funny because this morning you called us 'pain in my ass'
oscarpiastri no, i called you that because you set fernando's kitchen on fire again!
ines_alonso i love you oscaroo!!
charles_leclerc hey!! what about me??
ines_alonso love you charlie
user17 i don't know what's funnier the argument in the comments between oscar, charles, and inés or charles being a pyromaniac when it comes to fernando's kitchen
user18 charles should be banned from the kitchen
oscarpiastri we have banned him but he still tries to cook
charles_leclerc sebastian would never treat me like this
danielricciardo no, he'd treat you worse. that man is controlling in the kitchen and you know it.
scuderiaferrari ❤️🩷🧡
louieee oh baby girl i'm so happy for you and your boys. so glad the three of you finally decided to do this.
ines_alonso thanks for helping max convince me to go on that date 🩷
louieee anything to see that beautiful smile back on your face 🩷
scuderiaferrari admin is definitely shocked and did not catch inés and oscar sneaking into charles' drivers room in australia...last year
mclaren admin over here is also shocked and did not catch charles and inés sneaking out of oscar's drivers room in miami this year...
ines_alonso shout out to the best admins ever
astonmartinf1 so guess who lied, like a liar
ines_alonso no! i swear it's not what it looks like!!
astonmartinf1 heart 💔 been 💔 broke 💔 so 💔 many 💔 times 💔
mclaren we call dibs for the next race weekend!!
scuderiaferrari um no 🤓☝️ you guys had her last weekend?
astonmartinf1 um actually she's going to be in our garage look what happened last time she was with mclaren
scuderiaferrari that was not our fault
mclaren according to the footage it was
redbullracing maybe she should be in our garage instead
scuderiaferrari forget you man
mclaren over our dead body
astonmartinf1 that can be arranged 😃
patriciooward i would like everyone to know that i have known since the start!!
user19 and when was that pato?
patricooward since 2021
user19 2021? I THOUGHT THESE BITCHES STARTED DATING IN 2022??
patriciooward i fear this is common knowledge?
user19 TO WHO PATRICIO? TO FUCKING WHO?
user20 oh the mclaren and ferrari teddies. i could die, they're so adorable.
ines_alonso they gave them to me after oscar's mclaren announcement because and i quote, 'you need to have us with you at night when we're not here.'
user20 oh that's so fucking cute
ines_alonso this was also before they found out i would be working for sky sports
maxverstappen1 glad you're finally happy inés. you deserve happiness 🩷
ines_alonso we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you forcing me to go on that date 🩷 so thanks for that maxie!!
charles_leclerc yes, thank you for that max
oscarpiastri have i told you how much i like you? as a friend, that is. NO ONE START RUMORS!!
maxverstappen1 as if i would ever date you
oscarpiastri excuse you, i'm a fucking catch
charles_leclerc not that you would ever need to know because that's my boyfriend not yours
ines_alonso correction leclerc, *our boyfriend
liked by lewishamilton, sebastianvettel, pierregasly and others
charles_leclerc mon soleil et ma lune ❤️ [my sun and my moon]
tagged: ines_alonso, oscarpiastri, patriciooward
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oscarpiastri i see who the favorite in this relationship is..
charles_leclerc she doesn't scream at me when i set the kitchen on fire. you do.
oscarpiastri IT WAS 3 IN THE MORNING CHARLES!
charles_leclerc even during the day you yell at me!
oscarpiastri i'm sorry i don't want our apartment to burn down
arthur_leclerc i want everyone to know that i have caught oscar several times wearing the sally shirt
oscarpiastri sometimes inés forces charles to wear the mater shirt so she gets to wear the lightning mcqueen shirt
logansargeant it's true, i've seen it happen.
ines_alonso i just want to say kachow!
sebastianvettel so you didn't hate them?
charles_leclerc we agreed to never talk about that again sebastian.
ines_alonso no this sounds like a conversation we should be having
oscarpiastri i agree, tell us everything sebastian.
sebastianvettel oh you two should know what i'm talking about
charles_leclerc STOP! PLEASE STOP!
user21 their conversations seem to be so fucking unhinged and i love that
user22 honestly the three of them are so fucking unhinged
user21 they're so fucking iconic, i love this for them
patriciooward so that's a no on being your fourth?
oscarpiastri according to charles he will only "tolerate one man in obnoxious orange"
patriciooward it's papaya?
charles_leclerc it's a shade of orange patricio.
patriciooward papaya is not orange charles. it's papaya. papaya is it's own thing.
user23 charles breaking his theme for those two? oh he in love love
user24 never thought i would live to see the day but i love it
user23 charles has an emotional attachment to that theme, so this is a surprise
scuderiaferrari congratulations to the happy couple!
mclaren they're not married 💀
scuderiaferrari they could be and we wouldn't even know it.
astonmartinf1 speak for yourselves, we would definitely know, fernando would never shut up about it.
user25 HIS SUN AND HIS MOON? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???
user26 THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANS?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME LECLERC?!
user25 BESTIE THE TRANSLATION IS RIGHT THERE!!
user26 MY FAT FINGERS CAN'T TOUCH THE TRANSLATION BUTTON!!
maxverstappen1 i know for a fact she's holding a red bull can in that photo
charles_leclerc i will NOT be posting red bull propaganda on my page
georgerussell63 WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT YOU THAT WORD?
oscapiastri i wonder who could've possible done that
alex_albon why the fuck are you teaching him the word propaganda in the first place?!
oscarpiastri all i said was that the hatred a specific family was spewing was propaganda against him and the word stuck
maxverstappen1 sometimes having you around is good
carlossainz55 what the fuck? what the fuck is this?
charles_leclerc so that is who i forgot to block...
maxverstappen1 YOU STILL FOLLOW HIM BUT YOU WON'T FOLLOW ME BACK?
charles_leclerc YOU FUCKING CHEATED THAT'S WHY!
maxverstappen1 HE CHEATED ON HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND! IF ANYONE IS THE CHEATER IT'S HIM!
alex_albon CLOCK HIM MAX!
louieee oh max emilian verstappen, you make me so fucking proud sometimes.
oscarpiastri this man is acting as if he didn't purposefully tell us to hard launch because he wanted to piss someone off
ines_alonso right, as if he wasn’t losing his shit earlier
charles_leclerc is this what my life is now? you two roasting all the time?
alex_albon mate, they do this to you in private all the time already
logansargeant the group chat has seen some shit man
fernandoalo_oficial she call you and oscar bald headed demons
user27 yo, what the fuck goes on in their group chat?
liked by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, ines_alonso and others
oscarpiastri one of us has set fernando, jenson, sebastian, and lewis' kitchens on fire, but i won't tell you who🧡 hint: it's the one who gets offended when you call him french
arthur_leclerc why am i always getting dragged into shit?
maxverstappen1 because dumb, dumber, and dumbest have two people each they always drag into shit
alex_albon this shit isn't funny anymore. i've been suffering with max for ages it should be louie suffering not me.
pierregasly free us!
logansargeant you two try being in the junior categories with dumb and dumber as they fail to flirt
fredrickvestiofficial never been so happy to not have an f1 seat
louieee i think you mean, they have two drivers they drag into shit because i don't go through half the shit you guys do. just ask alex how much he suffers in my place
ines_alonso honestly fuck you guys
aussiegrit congrats on going public, even if it took you months to tell me.
oscarpiastri it was over a year and a half actually.
aussiegrit i take back my congratulations
oscarpiastri sebastian wouldn't treat me like this
aussiegrit disowned.
sebastianvettel welcome to the family oscar
aussiegrit go away, who invited you?
user27 not oscar choosing an old picture of him and inés to one up charles
user28 we were in the trenches hoping they would end up together since 2017
user27 real and now they're together with charles.
jensonbutton charles is no longer allowed back in my home
charles_leclerc i was just there 2 weeks ago?
lewishamilton more like you're no longer allowed in our kitchens except for fernando's, burn that down if you wish.
fernandoalo_oficial this is why you lost 2021
lewishamilton this is why i beat you in 2007
fernandoalo_oficial WE WERE EQUAL IN POINTS!
lewishamilton I STILL GOT 2ND PLACE OVER YOU!!
user29 the chaos these three bring to the world of f1 is unmatched
user30 no cause what the fuck do you mean mark ended up with fernando and seb in another universe?
user31 this is my favorite f1 inside joke ever
nicolepiastri is this why you said he was never allowed to cook in the house?
charles_leclerc HE TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T LIKE ANYONE IN YOUR KITCHEN?!
oscarpiastri i'd like my family to live, thank you very much
charles_leclerc you're a liar piastri
nicolepiastri every time, every single time
ines_alonso imagine what it's like living with them.
user32 all i see is barbie and her kens
ines_alonso I TOLD THEM I WAS BARBIE!
alex_albon to be fair, they said you were racer barbie
maxverstappen1 then you proceeded to argue over what racing series racer barbie would be in.
pierregasly and you called them bald headed demons, again
logansargeant all in our group chat while fernando and daniel squabbled over multi-21 for some reason
user32 i think i just shit myself...
hattiepiastri the best part about oscar and charles is their girlfriend
ines_alonso best part about oscar is his sisters and mom 🩷
arthur_leclerc and for charles it's his brothers right?
ines_alonso no, it's your mom??
arthur_leclerc mommy issues alonso over here
fernandoalo_oficial i know where you live leclerc
arthur_leclerc nevermind, i take it back.
ines_alonso according to charlie i don't have mommy or daddy issues, i have family issues
fernandoalo_oficial i know where he lives too.
charles_leclerc she was being self-deprecating! YOU SAID THAT WAS ALLOWED!
fernandoalo_oficial i will let it slide, this time.
nicolepiastri finally someone who can help you do your laundry
lorenzotl charles dyed all of their white laundry red.
fernandoalo_oficial inés caught the washing machine on fire by not clearing out the lint compartment
nicolepiastri god help them
user33 i want to know how often charles and inés are causing oscar headaches
oscarpiastri so often that i've lost count.
user33 oh it's that bad?
ines_alonso he's a bitchass liar is what he is. i've never caused him problems in my life. that is a lie.
charles_leclerc i accidently cause problems. it's not on purpose.
oscarpiastri inés nearly fell off the balcony trying to grab one of our cats and charles fell down three flights of stairs, more than 5 times already.
user33 holy shit, someone get those two hazard pay or something.
lorenzotl maman wants to know if you three are coming over for dinner?
charles_leclerc this couldn't have been a text?
lorenzotl oh i tried, someone (you) kept ignoring me so i came here.
ines_alonso i would never do this to you lorenzo
oscarpiastri i wouldn't either lorenzo
charles_leclerc STOP FLIRTING WITH MY BROTHER!
ines_alonso have you seen him??
oscarpiastri i do what i want
user34 with every comment i find out more and more about these three
user35 ines and oscar flirting with lorenzo makes so much sense though
user36 i've seen enough, netflix get them their own series. forget dts
landonorris what the hell? is this a joke?
oscarpiastri my relationship is very much not a joke lando. despite what max says
maxverstappen1 it was one fucking time oscar, let it fucking go.
oscarpiastri no ❤️
logansargeant this is why people think max is a part of your relationship.
jensonbutton he's not?
oscarpiastri jenson i swear to god-
user37 the world could not handle the combined powers of lestappen as a couple ❤ by charles_leclerc and maxverstappen1
ines_alonso WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LIKING THAT SHIT?
maxverstappen1 drama.
ZANDVOORT 2023
liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, ximena.gomez and others
ines_alonso they're fine, charles is just dramatic.
tagged: charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri
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charles_leclerc i am not dramatic
oscarpiastri you lost it over a pair of socks 2 weeks ago.
charles_leclerc they're my favorite socks!
ines_alonso they look like all your other socks??
charles_leclerc i know which ones are my favorites, thank you very much.
oscarpiastri you're so weird sometimes
maxverstappen1 who the fuck did you grab lunch with? cause that sure as hell isn't me or alex??
ines_alonso i have other friends??
alex_albon that's a funny joke. never joke again.
maxverstappen1 you actually don't??
ines_alonso i do.
alex_albon what are you cooking baby alonso??
ines_alonso cooking up a diabolical plan to get rid of the sf-23
charles_leclerc for legal reasons this is a joke
ines_alonso no it isn't
mclaren please tell charles to not tweet a hate tweet about oscar. we need a break over here.
scuderiaferrari don't worry bestie, we got him on lockdown
astonmartinf1 free my boy he ain't do nothing wrong
user38 gay (affectionate)
user39 so true bestie, but this doesn't explain the way charles looks at max??
ines_alonso please don't bring it up. it's a sore subject.
maxverstappen1 you're just salty because your man likes me more than you
oscarpiastri i am not above throttling a dutch fucker verstappen
user40 oscar piastri, i'm sorry, i was not aware of your game
user41 OSCAR PIASTRI CALLED MAX A DUTCH FUCKER??
user42 this man is so chaotic. it's always the quiet ones...
user43 he's so unhinged. i love him
landonorris wait, so this wasn't a joke??
alex_albon and the award for never being able to read the room goes too...
landonorris CARLOS SAID IT WAS A JOKE??
charles_leclerc do you want to see me shove my tongue down oscar's throat?? will you believe it then??
louieee carlos also said he would never cheat on isa and yet here we are??
landonorris who the fuck invited you??
louieee myself, you winless bitch
fernandoalo_oficial as the children say, GAGGED HIM!!
user44 the year is 2054 and people are looking back at how f1 world champions charles leclerc and oscar piastri (it's going to happen, trust me) threatened to shove their tongues down each other's throat...
user45 OKAY!! charles threatened to shove HIS tongue down oscar's throat. not oscar.
user44 same difference
MONZA 2023
liked by francesca.cgomes, fredrickvestiofficial, iamrebeccad and others
ines_alonso no one tells you how hard being a double wag is
tagged: charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri
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lilymhe just be my wag? you never have to struggle with rosso corsa and papaya ever again.
ines_alonso you're so right
oscarpiastri back 🤺 off
charles_leclerc i am not gods strongest soldier
user45 girl are you forgetting the aston martin of it all??
user46 aston martin daughter, red bull/williams bestie, ferrari/mclaren girlfriend. inés pick a struggle
user47 i wish i had that struggle
charles_leclerc how dare you wear his number but not mine?? dishonorable!
georgerussell63 yeah inés, how could you? where is your honor?
alex_albon and no mention of her father?? who won monza in 2010?? no honor!
maxverstappen1 how could you do this inés??
danielricciardo people these days have no honor
ines_alonso oh shut up, you people are dramatic.
patriciooward maybe you should just come to an indycar race. no struggles there.
charles_leclerc she is one comment away from dumping us. please stop patricio.
oscarpiastri they only papaya she'll wear is in support of mclaren not arrow mclaren.
ines_alonso it's truly a shame the indy 500 falls on the weekend of the monaco grand prix
patriciooward a shame really
user48 i think inés and pato live for terrorizing charles and oscar.
user49 the only man charles and oscar seem to be insecure about is patricio o'ward. and honestly, i get it.
louieee right?! where do i find a man like that??
user48 louie is the realest person in these comments honestly.
francesca.cgomes ditch the men and become my wag instead.
ines_alonso done. when do i start?
oscarpiastri charles might actually get a heart attack if you keep joking about this
arthur_leclerc no one ever died of a heart attack
charles_leclerc are you serious right now?
user50 i live for the domestics in the comments between oscar, charles, and inés
user51 truly the highlight of my week when they do that
pierregasly i would appreciate it if you would stop flirting with my girlfriend?? she should only be giggling and kicking her feet over me.
ines_alsonso it's not my fault i'm a better flirter than you??
francesca.cgomes she just gets me
charles_leclerc gonna go jump off a bridge brb (jokes)
user52 had to clarify before pr got on his ass and the sainz family threw a party
user53 no one tells you how hard it is being a double wag because it's never been done before
user54 she may no longer be on the paddock as a driver but she will slay regardless
user55 ones thing about inés alonso is that she will ALWAYS slay!!!
charles leclerc is a menace, pass it on. i live for charles being a disaster in the kitchen for this fic. it's the funniest running joke in this fic. what me adding side plots for funsies??? why i would never…(i couldn’t help myself) (this also came out way later than i planned)
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
track six - i can still make the whole place shimmer
series masterlist
JAPAN 2023
QATAR 2023
ines_alonso and charles_leclerc posted to close friends
so proud of you oscarpiastri, sucks that i can't be there with you
the only way to celebrate a third championship and a maiden sprint win. this can only go wrong from here
monopoly has been cancelled after someone nearly broke the table when he got beat
CHARLES' BIRTHDAY
ines_alonso and oscarpiastri posted new stories
he actually liked this cake, don't listen to whatever oscar has to say
birthday boy 🥳🩷
an artist at work...i actually don't know what's she's trying to make
oscarpiastri and ines_alonso posted new stories
inés said we were on a time crunch, now i've lost her inside a flower shop and she's not answering her phone. send help. sos.
birthday boy seems to have something devious planned
second birthday cake was a success!!!
liked by charles_leclerc, isahernaez, pedri and others
ines_alonso feliz cumpleaños amorcito!! here's to spending more by your side (with osc of course) for many more years 🩷🎉
tagged: charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc oh mon soleil, i might start crying again. please don't do this to me.
oscarpiastri you'll cry regardless charlie
charles_leclerc stop being mean to me, it's my birthday
oscarpiastri i got you a cake, that's enough
user01 their love language is bullying each other
user02 had to sneak oscar in there somehow
user03 inés loves both her boys. i'm convinced she will never shut up about them
user02 i fear you may be right bestie
oscarpiastri happy birthday booger 🧡
charles_leclerc thank you stinker ❤️
pedri i will never understand how this dynamic works
arthur_leclerc mate it's been years and i still don't understand it. half the time i'm convinced they hate each other.
oscarpiastri it's our love language arthur, leave us alone.
isahernaez feliz cumple charlie 🎉
charles_leclerc gracias isa 😊
user04 brother lost even his ex-girlfriend in the divorce to charles
user05 not only is he not winning races but he's also not winning life, shit must suck for him.
user06 he just became the only non redbull winner of the entire season, put some respect on his name
louieee bitch won the race at the sacrifice of his own teammate, we'll put respect on his name when he fucking earns it.
user07 besides this post is about charles, not his fucking whiny ass teammate
user08 i want to know what the product of that picture charles was taking in slide 2
user09 he's the embodiment of that proud boyfriend meme
user10 he's just a silly little goofy guy
fernandoalo_oficial feliz cumpleaños to that french guy or whatever
charles_leclerc you sent me an entire paragraph telling me happy birthday this morning you're not fooling anyone
fernandoalo_oficial that was supposed to be a secret tonto
charles_leclerc oops
jensonbutton HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLES!! 🎉🎉 YOU'RE SO OLD NOW!!
charles_leclerc THANK YOU OLD MAN!!
user11 the difference between fernando and jenson's comments is so fucking funny to me
maxverstappen1 drinks are on the birthday boy this weekend
charles_leclerc you people are animals when you drink. i should be getting free drinks not the other way around
alex_albon well for my birthday i was forced to pay, so you should have to pay this weekend
charles_leclerc this a hate crime against me
user12 i can't believe charles is 26, it feels like just yesterday he was starting out as a rookie at sauber
user13 STOP! YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL OLD!!
user12 your bio says you're 16? how the fuck does that make you feel old??
user13 IT JUST DOES OKAY?! DON'T QUESTION ME!
patriciooward FELIZ CUMPLE CABRON!!
charles_leclerc GRACIAS PATITO!!
user14 i've seen enough scuderriaferrari get this guy into your car as carlos' replacement. he speaks spanish too
user15 and charles actually likes this one
ximena.gomez feliz cumpleaños charlie!!
charles_leclerc gracias ximena! inés said to ask you about the thing
ximena.gomez the answer is still no
charles_leclerc one chance, just one chance that's all she asks
TEXAS 2023
liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, francesca.cgomes and others
ines_alonso there's no weekend like austin gp weekend (this message was paid for by daniel ricciardo) (p.s. please wear your fucking boots right. the jeans go on the outside not tucked inside the boots)
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francesca.cgomes you know what they say, save horse ride a cowgirl
ines_alonso yeehaw!!
charles_leclerc please stop flirting with her
oscarpiastri you're never beating the allegations
ines_alonso WHAT ALLEGATIONS??
francesca.cgomes that the boys are a cover up for our super secret romance.
ines_alonso oh that, no, that is true
pierregasly STOP THIS MADNESS!!
user16 how i love women
charles_leclerc i feel like this is directed towards me...
ines_alonso that outfit is atrocious and i never want to be in your presence when you wear it. justice for andrea.
charles_leclerc OSCAR SAID IT LOOKED GOOD!
ines_alsonso OSCAR WEARS T-SHIRTS AND SHORTS AND CALLS IT A DAY, NEVER LISTEN TO HIM
maxverstappen1 mate, i'm afraid oscar lied to you
oscarpiastri i live to see him make an embarrassment of himself in public.
charles_leclerc you're sleeping on the couch when we get home
alex_albon that's an upgrade from when your drunk ass made him sleep on a piece of turf on your balcony last year
landonorris why the fuck am i never invited to anything? first it was the group bowling and now this party?
danielricciardo he-who-shall-not-be-named is your friend
louieee because you're a snitch bitch that's why asshole
logansargeant in their defense the party was before bowling and no one wants to party with peter pettigrew or lord voldemort
user17 the harry potter references i'm dying
user18 so are we supposed to act like you didn't embarrass yourself in front of patrick dempsey?
ines_alonso if we could do that, that would be great thanks
user18 oh girl, that's going to haunt you for the rest of your life.
danielricciardo thank you inés i'll be venmoing you $150 later today
ines_alonso pleasure doing business with you mr.ricciardo
logansargeant he's actually paying you?? he told me i would get a shoutout on his .jpg account
ines_alonso i'm his favorite logan, you should know this
logansargeant doesn't mean i should like it
jensonbutton i had a blast this weekend, i enjoyed watching you lose your shit on danica patrick this weekend.
ines_alonso you're ass is such a shitstirrer, i'm telling my dad!
jensonbutton he sent me an audio of him cackling for a straight 3 minutes. his ass enjoyed that too
user18 this is my favorite daughter and step-father duo
user19 jenson button is not a step father but the father that stepped UP
lilymhe the cutest cowgirl ever
ines_alonso oh stop it, i'm actually blushing
oscarpiastri unfortunately she is actually blushing. charles is glaring at her from across the room
lilymhe damn charles_leclerc i took your girl
charles_leclerc fight me lily alex_albon come get your girlfriend she's being irrational again
alex_albon mate, we are not having this debate ever again. they're in love, let them be.
charles_leclerc you're literally no fucking help
user20 love how inés, kika, and lily flirt with each other to piss off the boys
user21 alex is just resigned to the fact that they do this, charles and pierre absolutely lose it every time, meanwhile oscar just lets them have fun to see charles lose it everytime.
user22 inés and oscar live for tormenting charles and i love that
user20 it's the difference between gen z's born in the 00's to the 90's is so noticeable between the three of them.
MEXICO 2023
BRAZIL 2023
liked by lilymhe, kellypiquet, patriciooward and others
ines_alonso a little photo dump for the girlies as we head into the final race of the triple header
patriciooward nano and honey make a reappearance!!
louieee she's kept them hidden from us for too long
ines_alonoso they're camera shy
alex_albon i've missed my godchild nano!!
maxverstappen1 that's my godchild albon!
ines_alonso ladies, please, you're both nano's god father
alex_albon um, i'm more qualified to take nano if a 'tragic' accident were to happen to any of you
maxverstappen1 i have two cats alex, you have a fucking farm, we are not doing this.
ines_alonso i've made a horrible mistake
charles_leclerc where's the picture of my mexico podium??
oscarpiastri maybe win a race then she'll post you
charles_leclerc you won a sprint! not an actual race!
oscarpiastri I STILL WON!
arthur_leclerc i see there's no mention of me taking that 6th picture?? where is my credit alonso??
ines_alonso we bought you dinner and yet you still found a way to complain about taking one picture
arthur_leclerc you try fourth-wheeling you, dumb, and dumber
louieee it's dumb, dumber, and dumbest
maxverstappen1 wait but who's who?
oscarpiastri charles is clearly dumbest
charles_leclerc this is why people think you hate me
oscarpiastri haven't you heard, we're the second coming of seb and mark. multi-21 2.0 incoming
alex_albon it was very clearly multi-21 (lovers edition) oscar
user23 mark is probably shitting himself seeing this comment
oscarpiastri i can confirm that
user24 just a pretty girl with her pretty boyfriends
user25 how to get inés alonso to blush 101
ines_alonso wrong! it's how to get three idiots to blush
kellypiquet i see the picture of the broken table didn't make it to the photo dump
ines_alonso we're never playing monopoly again
maxverstappen1 if someone hadn't cheated the table would've never broke!
georgerussell63 I DIDN'T CHEAT, YOU JUST SUCK!
alex_albon YEAH, TELL HIM GEORGE!
user26 i feel like we're missing some important lore here
pierregasly post championship and sprint win monopoly is great, until someone (max) breaks the table
patriciooward don't forget to specify that it's drunk monopoly
alex_albon i feel like i would remember if you were there?
patriciooward oh, i wasn't there in person but i was there via facetime. all of you were so fucked up that you don't even remember it
user27 i don't know what's more surprising max breaking a table, george cheating (allegedly) at monopoly, or all of them ending up so drunk they don't remember anything besides a broken table??
user28 definitely the broken table.
user29 yeah, the drunkenness is expected from them so is george facing cheating allegations in monopoly.
fernandoalo_oficial i did not give my consent to having that picture posted
ines_alonso too bad old man. you snooze, you lose.
user30 the world may be calm (not really) but you can count on inés and fernando always being their chaotic selves
logansargeant this is logan sargeant erasure
ines_alonso oh sorry, the whole world must know i bought you a single shot after your point in austin
logansargeant well now i feel bad because it came at the expense of lewis...
charles_leclerc what about me?! i'm the reason you got the point!
logansargeant you said you wouldn't watch hamilton with me again...
charles_leclerc fine, we can watch hamilton again
logansargeant 😄😄
user31 a duo i didn't know i needed
danielricciardo is that the picture max and i took when you fell asleep?
ines_alonso yes, i'm never leaving my phone unattended with you two
maxverstappen1 that's a consequence that comes with flying airmax, deal with it baby alonso
louieee BABY ALONSO!!!
ines_alonso oh no, that's going to stick isn't it??
estebanocon they've been calling you baby alonso behind your back for years.
jensonbutton we've been calling you baby alonso since 2015
ines_alonso oh my god
lilymhe thank you for beautifully capturing my relationship with alex
ines_alonso you're welcome my love 🩷
alex_albon i'm right here
lilymhe shhh alex, it's okay, you're my one and only (sometimes)
alex_albon WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!
ines_alonso it means that whenever you piss her off she runs to me and kika
francesca.cgomes it's true, we kick oscar and charles out of the apartment and force them to spend the night with pierre
alex_albon STOP MAKING ME SEEM LIKE A BAD BOYFRIEND!
ines_alonso you're a good boyfriend alex, we're just teasing. (got to get ahead of the media)
VEGAS 2023
liked by sabrinacarpenter, louieee, alex_albon and others
ines_alonso a week spent in los angeles and las vegas. met some new friends and hung out with some old friends
ines_alonso bitch, you won every race this season, let other people have a chance
maxverstappen1 YOU HAVE CHECO ON HERE!!
schecoperez me odias o qué?
maxverstappen1 no, do not put words in my mouth checo!
user32 ariana (sabrina) what are you doing here?
user33 talk about an unexpected crossover
user34 the most unexpected friendship to come out of the 2023 season
louieee ooh, we look so cute
ines_alonso yeah we do!!
louieee 🩷🎀
charles_leclerc i'm still mad at you...
oscarpiastri maybe you shouldn't go around telling us to call you charles leclerc-verstappen
maxverstappen1 well now i'm max leclerc-verstappen
redbullracing max, we can't do this again, the rumors just stopped
oscarpiastri i know where you live
scuderiaferrari here we go again (the rumors never stopped)
mclaren oscar, please refrain from threatening fellow drivers
user35 they're just so tired of having to pr train oscar
user36 we're talking about the kid who willingly admitted he pushed inés off the track when they were karting because they had a bet going on and he didn't want to lose
sabrinacarpenter it was a delight to meet you and sharles
ines_alonso enough to get a nonsense outro??
sabrinacarpenter woah, take me out on a date first
ines_alonso name a time and place baby 😏
charles_leclerc i can fight...
oscarpiastri i can laugh as you take charles down...
sabrinacarpenter oscar's my favorite now
charles_leclerc of course he is
jensonbutton WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PICTURE??
ines_alonso it's a screenshot from the sky sports broadcast. it's the face i make whenever i'm forced to work with that woman
jensonbutton oh my god
ines_alonso it's my favorite f1 meme now
charles_leclerc now that i'm no longer upset, you look beautiful ma belle 🩷
ines_alonso thank you bebe ❤️
user37 he's trying to get back in her good graces guys
oscarpiastri ass kisser
charles_leclerc YOU WON'T LET ME GET A DOG
alex_albon jeez oscar, let the guy get a dog
oscarpiastri HE'S THE ONE WHO SAID NO MORE PETS AFTER HONEY!
logansargeant LET'S GO!! I'M OUT OF THE TRENCHES!!
patriciooward FROM THE TRENCHES WE RISE!!
user38 now this, this is my favorite duo inés alonso has given us
lilymhe i look great and alex is there
francesca.cgomes she's everything and he's just ken
ines_alonso the realest comment here
sabrinacarpenter girls who are everything and boyfriends who are just ken
pierregasly our job is just car
joris__trouche he did not want to let go of mimi
ines_alonso he genuinely cried when we left
charles_leclerc STOP EXPOSING ME!!
oscarpiastri you called me sobbing because you were leaving mimi behind
maxverstappen1 just get him a dog oscar
oscarpiastri he dug his own grave max
user39 the random jenson meme is sending me
user40 the fact that both of them have pulled the same face while working with d*nica
user41 they're further proving the buttlonso lovechild allegations because i feel like fernando has also pulled the same face.
user39 oh my god you're so right
francesca.cgomes just a pretty girl living her best life
ines_alonso i'm blushing
oscarpiastri can confirm she is blushing
charles_leclerc i'm so done.
user42 free my guy
user42 not from the relationship but from his partners (inés) flirting with the girls (kika, lily, sabrina)
user43 nah, my guy brought this onto himself by flirting with max verstappen at every single fucking opportunity
liked by ines_alonso and oscarpiastri
unfortunately with the current state of the us, this is my only escape. i don't know why it became so unhinged but i remember people joking about max and charles getting married and this is a fanfic so i thought, why the fuck not?? IT'S ALL JOKES PEOPLE!!
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
track one - the scandal was contained ... at all costs, keep your "good" name
(alternatively: a partial look into the 2022 season)
series masterlist
BAHRAIN 2022
ines_sainz posted new stories
bahrain, still beautiful as ever
🫶🏼❤️
🏎️💨
congratulations mr. leclerc
shoutout to the photographer who sent me this.
AUSTRALIA 2022
hello melbourne 👋🏼
asked him to stand for a picture, why is he standing like a middle aged man? never beating the old man allegations i fear
mr. pole position says hello. don't ask about the angle, even we're not sure why that happened.
he does it again!!
MONACO 2022
*translation is included in the second set of texts
SILVERSTONE 2022
RAH 🦅!! LOGAN P1 AT SILVERSTONE!!!
this feels like an appropriate moment to post this. considering both are f2 race winners now
💋💋
AUSTRIA 2022
austria, are you ready for it??
back on the top step where he belongs 🫶🏼
with sir lewis hamilton!!!
oh, and max is there too i guess.
and to think this was them 3 years ago.
i thought, how fucking funny would it be if the guys who seemed to terrorize carlos the most (charles and oscar) dated his little sister in a fic and this came about. oscar is also no-so-subtly planning carlos’ downfall in this fic.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
liked by arthur_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial, maxverstappen33 and others
ines_sainz i am what i am cause you trained me. the after and before.
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user01 girl a soft launch? while we're still processing you leaving racing?
user02 the before being spain and racing and the after being monaco and no racing makes me sad.
maxverstappen33 pick up the phone! i just want to talk!
ines_sainz you know where i live. just come over?
maxverstappen33 that's too far!
ines_sainz get the fuck up and walk?
fernandoalo_oficial todo bien?
ines_sainz eh más o menos
fernandoalo_oficial ay nena que voy a hacer contigo?
user03 their father daughter bond makes me coo. it's so special to me.
user04 is the caption shade?
user05 but to who? her family?
user04 i will go to war if her family forced her out of racing.
user06 same, we ride at fucking dawn bitches
charles_leclerc fancy a game of goat simulator?
alex_albon OH COUNT ME IN!
georgerussell63 if it's as bad as last time, count me out.
ines_sainz only if i can invite my super secret friends.
charles_leclerc oscar and logan are not super secret. they were around last time.
arthur_leclerc and why was i not invited?
ines_sainz charles said you weren't cool enough.
user07 the way she looks so sad in the after. i wanna cry for her.
user08 no cause i remember her saying, 'without racing i don't know who i am' and now i'm crying.
user07 WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT BRITNEY??
user09 now where the heck is carlos? he usually drags her by now.
user10 me thinks that rumor from a few months ago was about the sainz siblings and not the leclerc brothers like everyone thought.
user11 makes sense carlos would be jealous of his little sister for being better than he is. imagine helmut marko publicly saying that 'she would've been miles better than her older brother.'
user09 sometimes a man's hell is a teenage girl.
*translation is included in the second set of texts
for now, it's a pre-established relationship, but i'll write a part later explaining how they got together (the bonus tracks). i just find it easier to do it this way for myself. the point of this fic is mostly to have them torment carlos.
sometimes i forget that i like carlos. this is like the fourth fic where i make him seem like a dick. i'm sure he's a nice person but for the sake of this fic he is not. there are time when i don't like (miami 2024) him, but my problem isn't with him, it's mostly with his fans. anyways, hope you enjoy this new fic.
the first bonus part should be out like sometime tomorrow or in the next two days, i want to post it before the first part.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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natalia leclerc fuck charles leclerc and his super sperm
daniel ricciardo what happened to hello? how are you? good morning
liam lawson talk about top 10 things i never want to see first thing in the morning
yuki tsunoda considering your current situation, i would say you have fucked charles leclerc
ben santos-ruiz max is trying
max verstappen fuck you benjamin
oscar piastri-leclerc somethings are too much for me
sebastian vettel does this have something to do with the doctor's appointment you had this morning?
natalia leclerc yes sebastian, it does
ollie bearman-leclerc did you kill charles? is that why he's not here?
natalia leclerc that bitch is too busy laughing at my predicament
natalia leclerc he participates all of five minutes and somehow I'M stuck carrying TWO of his spawns!!
max verstappen wait, have you picked godparents? do i get to be a godparent?
pato o'ward-leclerc what on earth makes you think they picked god parents already??
natalia leclerc i'll have you know, no, we're still thinking about that
logan sargeant-leclerc I VOLUNTEER!!
ollie bearman-leclerc so pick me, choose me
max verstappen ??
ollie bearman-leclerc you are the most chronologically offline f1 driver i have ever met. i bet fernando would get that reference and he's ancient
oscar piastri-leclerc thank you for the blackmail for when you want to do the thing
ollie bearman-leclerc FUCK YOU! DON'T DO THAT SHIT!
jenson button what on earth are they arguing about?
natalia leclerc nothing. i swear.
liked by charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel, olliebearman and others
natalia_leclerc surprise, but not really because someone spoiled it. p.s. don't worry people, he's still alive, but not after i see him in hungary.
tagged: charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc thank you for giving me the best gift i could've ever asked for 💙
natalia_leclerc i'm sorry for nearly giving you a heart attack when you found out the day before your home grand prix 💙
charles_leclerc no, you're not but that's okay. i wouldn't have it any other way.
arthur_leclerc I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!! (NOT CLICKBAIT) (FOR REAL)
maxverstappen1 you don't have to worry about her killing you over this one
arthur_leclerc what i did is small compared to what lando did
landonorris I SAID I'M SORRY!! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!
natalia_leclerc you're dead norris. dead ⚰️
uesr1 wait, how did charles find out? with the cake?
natalia_leclerc you know that day where he was spotted running around the paddock like a maniac?
user1 yeah?
natalia_leclerc that day. i sent a picture in our family group chat with three different positive pregnancy tests and then ghosted them 💀
user2 you're telling me charles found out through a text?!
natalia_leclerc I PANICKED OKAY? HE WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF QUALI WHEN I FOUND OUT!
bensantos_ruiz we found out she was dating charles through a gossip page. this is nothing new for her
maxverstappen1 and then you found out she was married through her instagram stories
bensantos_ruiz my sister has a flair for the dramatic, what can i say?
charles_leclerc it's okay because i love her.
olliebearman GUYS! I'M GONNA BE A BIG BROTHER!!
user3 you are taking this way too seriously
bensantos_ruiz i was told to inform people that my dad says to not tell ollie anything. and seb.
user3 oh so they're family, family.
sukiwaterhouse congrats!!! can't wait to meet baby ruiz
charles_leclerc this is new levels of haterism suki
sukiwaterhouse oh i know 😉 psa to carlosainz55 only i'm allowed to hate on charles. not you.
charles_leclerc oh my god
natalia_leclerc it's leclerc-ruiz suki, we've talked about this
sukiwaterhouse of course my love, anything you say my love
charles_leclerc 🫵 simp
sukiwaterhouse i know your ass ain't talking leclerc
redbullracing if admin let out a loud scream, no can legally tell us anything.
natalia_leclerc red bull admin, i seriously love you.
aurorabutton congratulations!! if the way you treat your grid kids says anything it's that you're going to be great parents!!
natalia_leclerc thank you aurora!
charles_leclerc thank you little button!
maxverstappen1 why the fuck does he get to call you little button but not me?
aurorabutton he's charles leclerc you sid the sloth
aurorabutton currently waiting for peter pettigrew to find a way to ruin the moment and make this about him
user4 not peter pettigrew 💀😭
user5 never has he been described more accurately.
carlossainz55 you just had to find a way to tie him down didn't you?
maxverstappen1 you speak like someone who was in love with charles and not natalia, which we all know you were or still are, it’s hard to remember sometimes
olliebearman don't you have other things to do? like find your jobless ass a seat for next year?
natalia_leclerc i tied him down when we were 6 and he pulled on my pigtails because he didn't know how to talk to me but thanks!
charles_leclerc so this is what the children call pick me behavior??
patriciooward no one wants you here, go away!!
oscarpiastri don't you have a girlfriend to go cheat on?
logansargeant man why do you have to ruin the moment? we're having a good time and you just ruin the vibes, like always.
aurorabutton oh go fuck yourself sainz. maybe norris can help you out?
landonorris WHY THE FUCK AM I CATCHING STRAYS??
alex_albon petition to have myself be godfather??
natalia_leclerc done. you're hired!
maxverstappen1 THAT'S ALL IT TAKES?!
alex_albon i can't tell if she's being serious or not?
natalia_leclerc you are quite literally the reason charles and i are together? silverstone 2017 ringing a bell?
alex_albon OH I DID DO THAT!
user6 ALEX ALBON IS THE REASON THEY'RE TOGETHER??
alex_albon we were all sick and tired of the will they won't they thing they had going on so i locked them in a closet before silverstone race day in 2017 and wouldn't let them out until they confessed their feelings for each other
rileykeough congratulations to the happy couple!! excited to meet baby leclerc-ruiz!!
natalia_leclerc thank you my love ❤️
charles_leclerc please stop asking me to name our child after you
rileykeough OH COME ONE! ALBON GETS TO BE GODFATHER BUT I CAN'T GET ONE NAMED AFTER ME?
alex_albon why am i catching strays??
pierregasly WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HELLO? HOW ARE YOU? WHY WAS I NOT TOLD ABOUT THIS??
charles_leclerc so that's who i forgot to tell
pierregasly APOLOGY WITH TEARS!!!
kellypiquet congrats, you look beautiful 💙
natalia_leclerc kelly, i'm not kidding, i might cry
kellypiquet oh, i understand, trust me
isahernaez felicitaciones!! no cabe duda que van a ser los mejores papas para sus pequeños 💙
natalia_leclerc isa, me vas a hacer llorar más 🥹 te extraño, tenemos que encontrarnos pronto
isahernaez obvio! dime cuándo y a qué horas y allí estaré!
user7 my favorite ex-ferrari wags 😭💔
liked by bensantos_ruiz, pierregasly, lilymhe and others
charles_leclerc il n'y a personne d'autre au monde avec qui je voudrais devenir parents à part toi (there's no one else in the world who i would rather be parents with)
tagged: natalia_leclerc
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maxverstappen1 two photoshoots for a pregnancy announcement seems like a lot
natalia_leclerc just say you're bitter that he picked me and not you.
maxverstappen1 never ever
natalia_leclerc you're the other woman!
maxverstappen1 no, YOU'RE the other woman!
aurorabutton pack it up emily, victor, and victoria
danielricciardo congrats!!! can't wait to meet baby leclerc-ruiz
natalia_leclerc have i told you how much i love you mr. honey badger??
charles_leclerc thank you daniel
danielricciardo yes, i'll steal more stroopwafels from max
natalia_leclerc you're the best mr. ricciardo
liamlawson30 A MINI LIGHTNING MCQUEEN!!!
yukitsunoda0511 you have to stop calling him lightning mcqueen
liamlawson30 the day carlos stops being bitter about charles having everything he wanted with natalia is the day i'll stop
user8 oh so this is a red bull v sainz family thing
liamlawson30 no it's a leclerc-ruiz v sainz thing but we firmly stand on charles and nat's side.
redbullracing brb preparing the red bull baby gear!!
charles_leclerc please don't over do it.
redbullracing what do you mean?? it's not like we mass ordered a baby pram?? for every stage of the babies life??
charles_leclerc oh mon dieu
lorenzotl maman hasn't stopped crying since she saw nat's post
bensantos_ruiz oh i don't think dad's gone a day without bursting into tears
arthur_leclerc wait, does this mean i'm not the favorite anymore?
natalia_leclerc you never were, that was me
charles_leclerc that's because you were the only girl and let maman do your hair all the time
pierregalsy wtf does she mean when she says i can't be godfather??
natalia_leclerc i meant what i said gasly
charles_leclerc she said she doesn't trust a man who makes 🐶 jokes
pierregasly SO YOU PICKED ALEX OVER ME?
natalia_leclerc alex is a very responsible man, who sometimes does questionable things but we love him.
alex_albon name one time i've done something questionable
natalia_leclerc before your appendix surgery you texted me saying i had to be ready in case you didn't make it.
alex_albon i've seen greys anatomy.
user8 the stars have really aligned for charles leclerc this year haven't they?
user9 bestie, what do you mean?
user8 well, he's championship leader right now, he's married to the love of his life, he's going to be a dad, and he won monaco
user10 charles leclerc, what sacrifices did you make to get to this point?
user11 carlos' seat at ferrari 💀 ❤ by charles_leclerc
user9 this man is messy as fuck and i love that for him
charles leclerc i wasn't going to ask but natalia said i had to, thoughts on going to the eras tour?
ollie bearman-leclerc DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK?! I WANT TO GO!! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!
natalia leclerc i told you they would want to go
pato o'ward-leclerc i am a swiftie first and human second.
oscar piastri-leclerc it's like you hate us or something
logan sargeant-leclerc i just know max wouldn't treat us this way.
charles leclerc fuck you logan, i'm a way better parent than max.
ollie bearman-leclerc i bet max wouldn't forget about p if he was going to the eras tour with kelly
charles leclerc okay, i didn't forget about you guys, but we are going with pierre and kika
pato o'ward-leclerc OH SO YOU FORGET ABOUT US BUT NOT PIERRE AND KIKA?
natalia leclerc in his defense kika and i were the ones who wanted to go and i told him you four would want to go too
oscar piastri-leclerc oh? and what did he say?
charles leclerc i said that you wouldn't want to go
logan sargeant-leclerc IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW US!!
pato o'ward-leclerc DISHONOR ON YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!!
ollie bearman-leclerc so we're not going to the eras tour??
ollie bearman-leclerc 🙁🙁
charles leclerc i have 4 extra tickets??
ollie bearman-leclerc LET'S FUCKING GO!!! I HOPE I GET THUG SONG AS MY SURPRISE SONG
pato o'ward-leclerc REPUTATION ANNOUNCEMENT!!!
logan sargeant-leclerc DEBUT ANNOUNCEMENT!!
oscar piastri-leclerc lily's going to kill me for going without her
natalia leclerc at least one of you has your priorities straight
natalia_leclerc posted new stories
video transcript: "look amore, i learned this last night!" - charles
"people have been doing that for ages charles. stop acting so old!" - ollie
"yeah charles, this behavior is kinda embarrassing." - oscar
"this is why logan and i are the favorites." - pato
just so we're clear...
the best lunch date 🩷 don't tell the boys
by the way, taylor sang wonderland for me. i know because the voices told me (this is a joke. please don't start saying i'm crazy)
mi corazón 🥹🥹 the boys are arguing over what we're getting for dinner in the back btw.
HUNGARY 2024
natalia_leclerc posted new stories
oscar piastri!! grand prix winner!!
a well deserved victory, no matter what anyone says. (that is my son and i will fight anyone who says anything about him)
oscar piastri-leclerc patricio ask rossi when he's going to win a race with mclaren?
pato o'ward-leclerc damn he wins one race and suddenly he's bold
ollie bearman-leclerc let him have this. he almost lost it to his teammate
natalia leclerc i'm willing to commit murder if you need me too
charles leclerc please don't.
logan sargeant-leclerc no, no, please do. it's the least they deserve.
ollie bearman-leclerc i can get someone to light their hospitality on fire again
oscar piastri-leclerc please don't.
pato o'ward-leclerc sounds like you guys don't like fun.
charles leclerc no, we just don't want them to end up in prison for attempted murder or arson.
ollie bearman-leclerc fine, we egg zac brown's car and mclaren hospitality.
logan sargeant-leclerc legally we won't get in trouble for that
oscar piastri-leclerc there's literally cameras everywhere on the paddock
natalia leclerc fuck you guys, we want to burn down mclaren for this shit and you won't let us
ollie bearman-leclerc to be fair, she also wanted to light williams on fire after australia and she didn't have an emotional attachment to logan yet.
charles leclerc WRONG!
charles leclerc she's had an emotional attachment to logan since last season. she was always asking about him.
logan sargeant-leclerc aww, she's mother guys
ollie bearman-leclerc that's the worst joke you could've ever fucking made.
logan sargeant-leclerc i've made worse jokes and you know it ollie.
oscar piastri-leclerc oh ollie, you haven't witnessed how bad his jokes can get
pato o'ward-leclerc i bet mark would let us egg mclaren and zac's car
logan sargeant-leclerc that's literally your boss
pato o'ward-leclerc and i'm just supposed to forget that he paraded the orange donald around the paddock??
natalia leclerc i feel like we moved on too quickly from that as a society
ollie bearman-leclerc the orange donald??
oscar piastri-leclerc oh ollie, sweet innocent naïve ollie
logan sargeant-leclerc oh ollie
ollie bearman-leclerc i'm so fucking confused
charles leclerc i am too, who is this orange donald?
natalia leclerc someone get the presentation ready.
SPA 2024
yuki tsunoda i'll bite his fucking ankles
liam lawson i'll take his kneecaps
santiago ruiz why is your first resort always violence??
yuki tsunoda why isn't it yours?
natalia leclerc added 1 person
aurora button i can light his house on fire?
mark webber jesus christ, that's your kid jenson?
jenson button yup sure is
max verstappen i'll take him out the next race, trust me.
kimi raïkkönen ???
sebastian vettel don't act dumb now kimi, you're literally the one who sent the threatening email to fred.
kimi raïkkönen when the hell did i do that?
jenson button earlier this morning? i was literally there with you and seb when you sent it?
pato o'ward-leclerc they're having a threesome
aurora button and somehow i'm the crazy one here
daniel ricciardo talk about dream foursome
fernando alonso what the hell?
yuki tsunoda and what will the war criminal himself be bringing to the revenge table?
fernando alonso the psychological torture of the sainz family.
natalia leclerc can you marry my dad?
santiago ruiz i'm straight??
fernando alonso to torture the sainz family?? count me in.
mark webber there's no way you're willing to marry someone to fuck with the sainz family.
oscar piastri-leclerc hell, i would do it if would fuck with carlos.
logan sargeant-leclerc mr. ruiz is a dilf. i would marry tf outta him too.
ollie bearman-leclerc i see we're finally admitting that we find mr. ruiz hot
max verstappen i had a crush on him too
ben santos-ruiz WHY DO ALL OF YOU FIND MY DAD HOT??
jenson button have you seen your father??
natalia ruiz oh my god not you too
kimi raïkkönen sebastian said to say that i agree too
max verstappen free kimi from us (but not really we actually need him here)
santiago ruiz i'm flattered but i'm not marrying fernando
fernando alonso consider this, it would make the sainz family livid.
santiago ruiz i'll think about it.
yuki tsunoda i can't believe we're doing this for the bit.
daniel ricciardo i mean, i think it would so much funnier if max married him but i doubt kelly would allow that.
aurora button max's old lady is so boring for not letting this happen
max verstappen can we not call my girlfriend old? thanks.
logan sargeant-leclerc so are they getting married over summer break or??
mark webber FERNANDO HAS A GIRLFRIEND?
fernando alonso she understands why i'm doing this.
sebastian vettel this is the best joke we've ever planned
mark webber WHY ARE YOU AGREEING TO THIS??
sebastian vettel because it's fucking hilarious man
oscar piastri-leclerc sounds like someone's mad fernando didn't want to marry him
mark webber die.
ben santos-ruiz god help us all
liked by bensantos_ruiz, pierregasly, lilymhe and others
natalia_leclerc a week spent with the grid kids + grid dads
user13 he's liam's grid dad?? i thought that was universal knowledge??
francesca.cgomes yes, flaunt that fucking baby bump
natalia_leclerc they already think it's fake, might as well flaunt it
jensonbutton when did my daughter become one of your grid kids??
natalia_leclerc somewhere between bullying carlos, defending my honor, and another secret third thing.
jensonbutton what's the secret thing?
aurorabutton it's a secret dad, that means you can't know
jensonbutton i'm your father?
aurorabutton yes, and?
user14 so is fernando natalia's grid dad?
user15 he totally is. i've seen him glare at carlos one too many times this season.
user14 oh you're so right. i fear carlos made a mistake, he pissed off the entire grid.
alex_albon so am i not your grid kid??
natalia_leclerc you're more like my grid brother
alex_albon i'll take it and if the rumors are true, i'll make his life a living hell
charles_leclerc i've never been more proud
maxverstappen1 let the world know you crashed my padel date with charles
natalia_leclerc HE ASKED ME TO COME YOU SID THE SLOTH!
danielricciardo i remember when he used to be in love with me, now he's obsessed with charles
charles_leclerc i took your seat and your man
danielricciardo TOO SOON!
olliebearman at what point can i convince you to adopt kimi?
patriciooward i don't need another brother
logansargeant the baby on the way is more than enough
oscarpiastri this alone convinces me that i was better off with three sisters instead of three brothers.
yukitsunoda0522 petition to have me as your next grid kid?
natalia_leclerc food included?
yukitsunoda0522 anything for the pregnant lady
natalia_leclerc score, you are so in yuki, welcome to the family
user16 yuki took oscar's mum and his grid mum
user17 i can't explain it but it's such a yuki thing to do.
sukiwaterhouse can i be the next mother of your children??
charles_leclerc suki, i will run you over
redbullracing he's joking. i promise.
sukiwaterhouse i've seen you mad, you look like a disgruntled kitten, bring it car-boy
charles_leclerc CAR-BOY??
redbullracing boss man (leo) looks so cool here. kimi is alright.
natalia_leclerc this is why i love you admin
redbullracing i'm blushing ☺️
olliebearman so about that family vacation?
logansargeant they might need some time away from us ollie
patriciooward from you maybe, not from me.
oscarpiastri FROM ALL OF US!
aurorabutton speak for yourself aussie. i'm clearly the favorite
oscarpiastri YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE GROUPCHAT!
natalia_leclerc dinner after break?
olliebearman as long as charles doesn't cook, i'm in.
logansargeant deal!
user18 mother, you have to put us out of our misery. is it 1 or 2 baby leclercs??
natalia_leclerc he participates 5 minutes and suddenly i'm stuck carrying 2 of his spawns
bensantos_ruiz it's actually your fault because tio pablo and tia patricia are twins.
charles_leclerc i told her that but it's still my fault.
user19 TWO BABY LECLERCS?!!
user20 oh this is going to make carlos sainz go even more insane. he's going to be plagued by a mini charles and a mini natalia
user21 dare i say it's a reincarnation of ollie and aurora?? who are basically mini charles and mini natalia??
user22 holy shit, you're so right
user23 love that we've all decided it's going to be a boy and girl
user20 the world needs to humble carlos sainz so of course it's going to be a boy and a girl
¡leclerc-s speaks!
any ideas on who should be the face-claim for natalia's dad because after this week i would just find it absolutely hilarious if it was pedro pascal because the pictures of him and charles just look like charles is enamoured with him. but any other ideas besides pedro??
now, on a serious note, i will forever hate mclaren for tainting oscar's first win, and he also deserved a proper celebration on the podium, so in my delulu land charles and max were on the podium with him. before anyone asks, yes it does hurt to write logan in this story knowing what's coming but there's no way i'm going to write him off after the williams thing.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
track four - the men start wars yet troy hates helen
series masterlist
SPAIN 2023
liked by alex_albon, louieee, francesca.cgomes and others
ines_sainz we are back in the motherland 🇪🇸
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user01 YOU'RE A BARCA FAN??
user02 she was a madridista by association not choice
ines_sainz força barça!!!
user01 fernando was found screaming and crying in a corner somewhere
logansargeant you should see them on game days...it's way too intense
jensonbutton is that why you texted me, 'fernando's going to disown me' or was that over something else?
fernandoalo_oficial she is dramatic, i would not disown her. i am not some people
user03 OH SHIT! HE WENT THERE!!
ines_sainz no, that was because [redacted] almost set the kitchen on fire
fernandoalo_ofical OTRA VEZ?? SAQUEN LO DE MI COCINA!! [again? get him out of my kitchen]
user04 see, part of me wants to believe that she's actually dating charles or oscar but neither of them dress that way. so it can't be them.
user05 hear me out, she dresses them so people won't suspect a thing.
user04 that's very possible
charles_leclerc that explains the scream i heard from his drivers room five minutes ago when lando ran in there.
ines_sainz fucking snitch. this is why he has no wins
louieee someone get this girl a pr manager
maxverstappen1 no, please don't i'm loving this.
pedri paddock passes🙏??
ines_sainz barca game tickets for me and a few others??
pedri do i finally get to meet the boyfriend??
user06 SINCE WHEN ARE THESE TWO FRIENDS??
pedri honestly, i don't know but i can't get rid of her anymore?
ines_sainz fuck you, forget about the paddock passes
pedri NO AMIGA PERDONAME!! [no friend forgive me!!]
fernandoalo_oficial eres una traicionera [you're a traitor]
ines_sainz dad, you knew this about me when you adopted me?
fernandoalo_oficial yes, but i chose to ignore that when it wasn't public information.
patriciooward my ahijada looks so cute in her outfit [goddaughter]
ines_sainz yes, [redacted] squealed when he saw her in that
alex_albon thank you for blackmail infromation
pierregasly he's not special, kika squealed too.
alex_albon this is a grown man
georgerussell63 is he grown??
logansargeant poor him catching strays when he can't defend himself
user07 INÉS SAINZ IS A CULER??
ines_sainz AND PROUD OF IT!!
user08 hear me out, she's dating pedri and is trying to trick all of us by telling us it's charles and oscar.
user05 BOOO!! THIS GUY SUCKS!!
user08 PEDRI'S THE SAME AGE AS HER!! IT WOULD MAKE SENSE??
user01 just say you don't want us to have a throuple in formula 1 and move on.
ines_sainz posted new stories
shoutout to the fan that gave me these socks. they are my newest prized possession
track walks with jb and father nando
this is the face of a man who i just told who i invited to the race tomorrow
georgerussell replied to your story
georgerussell WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE SOCKS?? I NEED SOME!!
ines_sainz george, a fan gave them to me, i think they made them.
georgerussell boo!! i want some
pedri replied to your story
pedri is he actually mad?
ines_sainz i think he's disappointed i'm a culer and not a madridista
pedri tell your boyfriend i can't wait to meet him
ines_sainz boyfriends*
pedri perdoname, que?
ines_sainz would you look at the time, i have to go walk my gold fish
ines_sainz posted new stories
cheerios are all back together again!! fredrickvestiofficial liamlawson30 logansargeant theopouchaire oscarpiastri not pictured is arthur_leclerc because he as fighting with charles over which kart he wanted
oscar's learned some moves from track terror leclerc
💞💞
liked by pedri, oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and others
ines_alonso new name, who dis?
jokes aside, papá, thanks for showing me what unconditional fatherly love was. no one's ever loved me (familially) the way you have. i haven't stopped crying since i got the news, [redacted] can attest to that. it means the world to me that we now, officially, get to be father and daughter after so many years of us joking about it. te quiero mucho papá 🩷🥹
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial
user has limited comments
aussiegrit he called me crying when he got the news
jensonbutton you have to clarify that he demanded a groupcall and proceeded to tell us through tears.
ines_alonso wait, who else was involved?
lewishamilton think the group chat you created
ines_alonso he loves me that's why 🥹
fernandoalo_oficial yes, the whole world now knows that i love my kid
lancestroll congrats! he hasn't stopped talking about this for weeks.
ines_alonso i hope you people know i'm going to keep crying if you keep saying things like this
lancestroll it's true, i think everyone on the team knew how excited he was to be your dad, officially that is.
louieee oh baby, i'm so glad you finally have someone who loves you the way a father should love his child. i'm actually crying for you. things are just starting to look up for you 🩷🩷
ines_alonso lou, i'm literally sobbing. a big thank you to you for sticking by my side through this entire mess and for always thinking i was capable of being loved 🩷🩷
louieee you've always been capable of being loved, it's not your fault they have the emotional range of a teaspoon and never knew how to appreciate you.
charles_leclerc félicitations! i know you've waited for this day for a long time
ines_alonso i'm still crying charles, please stop..i'm going to become dehydrated soon.
charles_leclerc please drink water
patriciooward VAMOS!! AL FIN!!
ines_alonso MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER (OFFICIAL)
patricooward wait, does this mean i have to give [redacted] a shovel talk??
ines_alonso no. max, daniel, and fernando already did that
patriciooward thank god. i am not cut out for that.
mickschumacher welcome to the world champion's children club inés!!
ines_alonso who else is in the club?
mickschumacher me, you, nico (reluctant) and any other world champion children
oscarpiastri finally, just let out a huge sigh of relief
ines_alonso thanks osc
maxverstappen1 oh thank god, it's about fucking time this happened. can he adopt me next?
ines_alonso back off!! i just got him, get your own dad. i heard kimi is taking applications, but you might have to fight osc
alex_albon WAR IS OVER! SHE'S FREE!!
lilymhe we can throw a party for them
alex_albon that might be one of the best ideas you've ever had
georgerussell63 the sigh i swear i just heard nico let out
lewishamilton 🤨 what are you doing with nico??
georgerussell63 mind ya business
pedri felicitaciones!! al fin tienes un papá que te aprecia! [congratulations!! you finally have a dad who appreciates you]
ines_alonso por favor, parale, no puedo llorar más. [please, stop, i can't cry anymore]
pedri eso es una mentira, siempre estás llorando [that's a lie, you're always crying]
fcbarcelona felicitaciones a ti y a tu nuevo papa!!
ines_alonso the scream i just scrumpt
charles_leclerc i can confirm that
oscarpiastri i can also confirm that
sabrinacarpenter congratulations you beautiful girl 💝
ines_alonso holy shit-
oscarpiastri i can't take much more screaming
charles_leclerc neither can i. please stop.
sabrinacarpenter i'm sorry??
AUSTRIA 2023
SPA 2023
liked by louieee, isahernaez, judebellingham and others
ines_alonso 🌊☀️
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ines_alonso oops, sorry *shared one last name
user08 STOP! INÉS YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!
user09 ICON!! BEING ICONIC RUNS IN THE ALONSO FAMILY LADIES AND GENTLEBITCHES!!
user10 she's so family jewels coded
louieee i would say i'm sorry but i'm not and the people deserved to know the truth 🩷
ines_alonso speak your truth king!!
maxverstappen1 if you didn't say something, i would've and trust me i would've been a lot less nice
alex_albon trust us, we're aware
user11 i don't know what i find more shocking that isa is in her likes or that jude bellingham is
user12 a footballer for real madrid in her likes after the barca post is fucking funny
user13 i feel like we're forgetting that she's probably close with isa, she told her about carlos' alleged (confirmed but i don't want the sainz family to sue me for defamation) cheating
user14 the pictures 😃🩷 vs the lyrics 💔💔
mickschumacher i rate your first scandal as an alonso a solid 6/10
ines_alonso i definitely could've topped crashgate but dad said no
fernandoalo_ofical i can only handle so much from you and [redacted]. if he sets my kitchen on fire one more time i'm going to ban him for a few months.
logansargeant hey, who got you smiling like that?
ines_alonso your mom
logansargeant i hate you
maxverstappen1 a not so kind reminder to judebellingham she's a taken woman. not by me but i'll defend their honor
danielricciardo just say you think of her as a little sister and move on dude
maxverstappen1 shut your mouth ricciardo
ines_alonso it's okay i already know he loves me
maxverstappen1 debatable
isahernaez que lindura, estás brillando inés
ines_alonso isa!! te extraño 🩷
isahernaez igualmente pequeña 💞
user15 oh i bet c*rlos s*inz just shit himself
liamlawson30 do you think he wakes up in a cold sweat whenever you post?
ines_alonso god i hope he does
jensonbutton it's what he deserves, xoxo
ines_alonso what is your ass doing here? go take care of your children??
jensonbutton you are my child??
user16 YES BABE!! CALL OUT YOUR SHITTY FAMILY!!! SERVE THAT CUNTLONSO!!!
user17 cuntlonso?? is that what we're calling them now??
user18 kinda matches them because they serve cunt!!
patriciooward when you said i'm so marina & the diamonds coded this is not the song i had in mind
ines_alonso what other song could you possibly think of??
patriciooward bubblegum bitch? primadonna? how to be a heartbreaker?? anything but this??
maxverstappen1 she's so matilda coded, according to twitter
logansargeant MATILDA?? BY HARRY STYLES??
maxverstappen1 i don't fucking know who sings it.
ines_alonso it's okay max, we can both be family line coded
patricooward STOP IT!! GET SOME HELP!!!
oscarpiastri THERAPY!! BOTH OF YOU!! NOW!!
maxverstappen1 therapy is a hoax
user18 racing is a serious sport they said. our drivers are so serious they said. the said drivers are arguing over what song is them coded
user19 and they're all depressing..FIA get them some therapy we beg.
user20 but for the record max is so seven coded and inés is so matilda coded
user18 STOP MAKING ME SAD??
user21 and charles is so mirrorball coded
user22 alex is definitely this is me trying coded
user23 logan is also this is me trying coded
user18 YOU PEOPLE JUST MADE IT WORSE?! STOP IT!!
user23 but is so fun to share our pain with others??
note: i know next to nothing about soccer or football, whichever you prefer, but i do know enough to know that barca and real madrid have a rivalry. so i decided for shits and giggles to make her a barca fan. i love giving my female ocs so much power because it's what women deserve!!!
anyways, got caught lacking by the 30 image limit. i could've written a bit more but it was cut short. perhaps i should stop rambling when it's not necessary but i can't help myself. i debated on whether or i should've had inés adopted by fernando but i decided that would be the ultimate fuck you so i did it.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
track three - it's obvious that wanting me dead has really bought you two together
series masterlist
AUSTRALIA 2023
MIAMI 2023
ines_sainz added a story, charles_leclerc & oscarpiastri added to close friends
luckiest girl in the world 🩷🥹
c'est l'anniversaire de mon soleil 🩷🥰
sunshine turns 21 today ☀️🩷
fernandoalo_ofical replied to your story
fernandoalo_oficial feliz cumpleaños nena 🩷
ines_sainz thanks dad 🩷
fernandoalo_oficial no drinking until sunday
ines_sainz booo!! that's boring!!
fernandoalo_oficial you have a job to do tomorrow
ines_sainz oh, that's right
lewishamilton replied to your story
lewishamilton you're welcome
ines_sainz I KNEW THEY ASKED YOU FOR HELP!
lewishamilton they asked for the best florist in the area, of course i had to help out. happy birthday inés 💜
ines_sainz thanks lew 💜
louieee replied to your story
louieee do they happen to have a friend who's single?
ines_sainz none that you'll be into
louieee shit. happy birthday baby girl 🩷
ines_sainz thank you lou 🩷 i love you
louieee love you too 🩷
louieee replied to your close friends story
louieee thanks for loving my best friend the way she deserves 🥹
charles_leclerc of course, she deserves the best
louieee i'm going to cry
louieee replied to your close friend story
louieee have i ever told you how much i love you pastry boy?
oscarpiastri for the last time, i'm not setting you up with logan
louieee oh i'll get that date somehow.
louieee but i meant, i love you because you love her the way she deserves to be loved
oscarpiastri why would i love her any less than she deserves??
louieee oh great, now you're making me cry
liked by kellypiquet, jensonbutton, fredrickvestiofficial and others
ines_sainz no one’s ever had me not like you 🩷
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francesca.cgomes happy birthday gorgeous girl 🩷
ines_sainz thank you but please dump that tripod for me 🩷
francesca.cgomes of course, we'll run away to greece together
pierregasly that's the last time i ever help [redacted] out for your birthday
ines_sainz i know lewis helped you liar
pierregasly do you think he got all of that upstairs by himself??
ines_sainz yes
louieee tell your boyfriend to set me up with someone
ines_sainz he said no
louieee fuck. once again, happy birthday baby 🩷
ines_sainz once again, i love you lou 🩷
charles_leclerc happy birthday soleil ☀️🩷
ines_sainz thank you charlie!
user01 my favorite sainz was born today!!
user02 having a birthday on miami grand prix weekend is so iconic. i bet she's about to party so hard
ines_sainz unfortunately my birthday is on a saturday. fernando said no drinking until sunday after the race.
user02 booo!!! anyways, happy birthday inés!!
oscarpiastri happy birthday ☀️!!!
ines_sainz thank you osc!!!
fernandoalo_oficial feliz cumpelaños nena 🩷!
ines_sainz gracias papa 🩷!!
user03 i'm going to cry and it's all their fault.
patriciooward happy birthday hermana!!
ines_sainz thank you hermano!!
user04 oh i just know the boyfriend spoils the shit out of her
user05 she deserves, especially after what carlos did in australia
user06 fr some shit is just unforgivable
alex_albon drinks on max when he wins the race!!
maxverstappen1 what the fuck? i never agreed to that??
georgerussell63 fine, if you win the race tomorrow, you have to buy us all drinks tomorrow
maxverstappen1 and if i don't?
alex_albon that's unlikely but if not, drinks on florida boy
logansargeant max better win tomorrow. my wallet won't be able to handle it
ines_sainz drinks on my boyfriend!!!
arthur_leclerc which one 💀 comment was deleted
user07 inés sainz, you will always be famous.
lilymhe guys, i think she likes the color pink? that could just me though
charles_leclerc what gave it away? the pink heart?
oscarpiastri the pink flowers?
maxverstappen1 the pink decor?
fernandoalo_oficial the pink cake?
lilymhe yes.
jensonbutton happy birthday to my favorite coworker!!
ines_sainz thanks to my favorite coworker!!
nicorosberg so i guess i'll take back my present?
ines_sainz no ❤️
MONACO 2023
liked by louieee, carmenmundt, lilymunihe and others
ines_sainz a little photo dump, as the children call it, before monaco.
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, jensonbutton
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user08 is that not??
user09 BESTIE I THINK IT IS??
alex_albon the children as if you aren't a child yourself
ines_sainz alexander i am 21??
georgerussell you're barely allowed to drink in the states
logansargeant she was born in '02, she is one of the children
ines_sainz do i have to remind you that if you had been born an hour later you would be an '01 baby?
user11 inés what do you think about the taylonso rumors??
ines_sainz i'm devastated fernando didn't have the decency to confide in me.
pierregasly that is because you've admitted in the groupchat you would dump [redacted] for taylor.
ines_sainz what can i say, i'm in love with taylor alison swift
user12 i know i'm not the only one thinking that's charles' hand.
jensonbutton you couldn't have picked a better picture of me?
ines_sainz no ❤️
jensonbutton you're no longer my favorite coworker
ines_sainz it's either me or danica. pick wisely jenson
jensonbutton i take it all back. i love working with you.
nicorosberg so forget me i guess?
ines_sainz NO BRITNEY WE LOVE YOU!!
user13 oh bestie, twitter is in shambles right now.
csainz55 are you fucking kidding me?
csainz55 you're fucking my teammate?
ines_sainz it seems i forgot to block you on this account...
charles_leclerc it's called it's none of your fucking business
oscarpiastri and the group chat is once again in flames
jensonbutton SOMEONE ADD ME?? I DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS!!
georgerussell63 this not something that should be handled on the internet
charles_leclerc and for the record, no we are not dating
ines_sainz it's also called it's a fucking watch bitch
maxverstappen1 fucking is such a cruel word, it's more like dating. i'm sure you would know all about fucking random women though. comment edited
user14 not max adding fuel to the flame 😂
maxverstappen1 this is my version of gossip girl
danielricciardo maybe do it in the group chat and not in public?
maxverstappen1 how about no?
user14 max verstappen, chaos gremlin confirmed
louieee bitch my hand looks great in that picture
alex_albon hand looks so great people think it's charles
liamlawson30 that's not charles' hand??
louieee LMAO!! i can't believe my plan actually worked!!
ines_sainz oh the girlies are losing it
theopouchaire21 and apparently your brother is also losing it
patriciooward i'm next in pissing off your family!! put me in coach!!
user15 not them tag teaming each other to be used as inés' fake boyfriend
user16 i knew pato was team fernando but i didn't know he's team inés too
patriciooward of course, that's my sister from another mister (fernando)
user16 i'm screaming
user17 if he's your dad why don't you have the same last name?
user18 jesus jessica you can't just ask people that
user17 nevermind, emotionally speaking he's her father. i have gone off the deep end
BONUS:
ines_sainz posted new stories
this week's second fake boyfriend to trick the people 😂 tarde pero seguro
the conversation that sent us on a "date"
WHO SNITCHED US OUT? FERNANDO JUST SHOWED UP!!
alex_albon replied to your story
alex_albon you two actually went through with the date??
ines_sainz of course, fernando didn't raise a bitch
alex_albon no, he just raised someone who lives for drama.
ines_sainz just a messy bitch who lives for drama albono! i learned it from the best!
alex_albon well of course jenson, fernando, and sebastian needed to leave someone behind as a legacy
csainz55 replied to your story
csainz55 eres tan inmadura inés (you're so immature inés)
ines_sainz jodete (fuck you)
you've blocked this user
oscarpiastri replied to your story
oscarpiastri i'll admit, the lord voldemort nickname is funny
ines_sainz but?
oscarpiastri i draw the line at you proposing to him
ines_sainz fret not, my lovely oscaroo, there is only enough room in my heart for one papaya man
oscarpiastri good, and we are not getting a dog
ines_sainz WHY NOT?!
oscarpiastri the two cats, your clumsiness, and charles' chaos is enough for us
charles_leclerc replied to your story
charles_leclerc tell patricio he's never getting norbi back
ines_sainz pato says you won't get me back if you don't give back norbi
charles_leclerc seems fair enough to me
ines_sainz wow just say you don't love me or something
charles_leclerc love you too mon soleil (my sun)
fernandoalo_oficial replied to your story
fernandoalo_oficial your own boyfriend 'snitched' you out
ines_sainz WHICH ONE?! I HAVE TWO FERNANDO!!
fernandoalo_oficial it's not that hard to figure out inés 😘
ines_sainz CHARLES?? THAT SNITCH!! ME LAS VA A PAGAR!!
fun fact: for some strange reason i wrote almost this entire part to bad omens by 5sos. i also saw a brocedes/sebmark edit to that song and it altered my brain chemistry forever.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!