#leadfire

          valentine doesn’t know how or why she’s so still. more importantly, she can feel her bottom lip quiver, and her teeth sink into the inside of her lip. she has to keep it together, just like she was taught. perhaps she’s gone numb to it all. if that’s the case, then maybe, just maybe, her mom will leave her be. maybe she would be proud. wait, where was her mother? she thought to leave her be while naomi was in a mood and to smoke in her bedroom would be best for everyone involved. ( mom was a name her mother hated. valentine, trying to be the best kid she could be, even though she could NEVER please her mother. with anything. )  beau had sent suzanne, their maid & her nanny home early to be with her actual family.  she had figured her mom would do her usual, smoke a cigarette, and drink herself to sleep.  beau herself hadn’t expected to fall asleep at the piano.  it was the sound of the one working fire alarm ( her mom was never home to check them ) nearby that had caused her to stumble to her feet and crawl into the grass, just as the VOLUME of the sirens grew louder. when she sees the firefighter come into her line of sight, coherently coming to enough that she isn’t seeing double of him, she coughs and waves her hand.  if her mother’s gone, she might as well be an orphan. she never knew her father, and her mother’s family disapproved of valentine’s existence. called her an illegitimate child because she was made through a test tube and not the union they wanted for their beloved daughter. 

she isn’t sure if the tears that come to her eyes are due to the smoke, or the grief she’s preparing herself for. ( although, she should be relieved as her mother, the woman who hurt her the worse and the MOST, might be gone. ) she coughs again, curling onto her shoulder.  ❝          no, no, i’m okay.  i don’t deserve the help. ❞ her hand goes out towards him to push him away, even though she’s curled in such a small ball, she might as well be a small wounded kitten. however, all she wants to do is accept it. he’d be the first to help her in a long time.