GREAT piece / insight into the other side of the story by Anne-Marie Slaughter's husband. I think it is difficult, maybe impossible, to balance careers and parenting responsibilities equally - without more men / dads like him, it'll continue to be women who fall on the "lead parent, not lead career" side of things.
I was also struck by his reflection that being the lead parent = losing control (excerpted below). Certainly I felt and still occasionally feel the stress of "doing everything and nothing well." But for me, being the lead parent and not having the lead career has been incredibly freeing. Sure, I may have to drop everything at work and pick The Monkey up if he gets sick, but then I get to be the one who cuddles him and helps him feel better. I get less wound up about stuff that goes wrong at work and don't spend endless hours in the office because it isn't my top priority anymore - which in some cases makes me better at my job, and in others means I won't ever be a CEO (which I have zero desire to be). For me, losing control has been pretty damn great...if not quite on the Lean In message track.
...Lead fatherhood can feed a pervasive sense of inadequacy. Juggling caring and career leaves me feeling that I am doing a bad job as both a parent and a professional. This should not have surprised me. Had I read decades of writing by working mothers, I would have known that “I am not doing anything well” is a mantra. Still, I suspect that this brew of frustration and inadequacy may be tougher on men than it is on women, because men are taught early on that we are—or should be—in control. Losing control is emasculating. But if you don’t have the sense that things are out of control much of the time, you’re not really a lead parent. You’re just helping out.
