#ldb oc

🩵Kayla (LDB OC):

Ah shit, my poor gal (and she’s got an easier time as her updated TES 5 version- don’t get me STARTED on the old TES 3 one 🥲)

PTSD:

Kayla is definitely traumatized and has PTSD as I’m sure many LDB OC’s experience- countless battles, near death experiences, injuries, even just arriving at Helgen and all that can fall into a traumatic experience you know! Sadly for Kayla, her traumas didn’t even begin with the events of TES 5. Kayla experienced prolonged CSA trauma early in life over the span of several years (age 8-14 ish). The person who inflicted this became the first person she killed which was at age 15-to which her father finds her mid attack and helps her finish the kill—it’s a whole thing….so lots of heavy trauma surrounding that entire ordeal. She definitely develops a very warped and often dissociated perception with death and murder due to this.

This trauma of course manifests into all kinds of other symptoms as one might imagine such as night terrors, panic attacks, flashbacks, hallucinations, sleep issues (very light sleeper, frequently disrupted sleep), depression, anxiety, suicidality, dissociation, and so on. Prior to the start of TES 5, her trauma (trauma coping) began to manifest into hypersexuality as means to gain / reclaim control in that way which put her into situations or connections with people she maybe wouldn’t otherwise engage with. As she's able to sort of heal or cope with things more along the way (especially being away from her hometown), she relies on things like having animals around-especially when she adopts a dog from the Dawnguard (almost acts as a service dog), keeping herself or hands busy (this usually manifests as artsyish hobbies), having tactile things to ground her (a hug, a hand squeeze, something soft to hold, etc), does better with company around be it people or animals.

Once her and Miraak become friends and then a couple, he’s able to support her through circumstances related to this. Sometimes it’s holding hands and squeezing each other’s hand as a grounding reassurance, sometimes it’s redirection, grounding exercises, sometimes it’s holding her through very intense flashbacks and breakdowns, sometimes it’s just sitting together and naming things they see around them. Since she tends to suffer intense flashbacks or night terrors that pull her away from reality, the best way to remedy this usually is by directing her back towards it. Giving her tactile things to latch onto, sounds, smells, etc that bring her back to the present moment.

Neurodivergence:

Kayla is definitely ADHD coded in more ways than one. I see her having some autistic coding but even that I think might be overshadowed often by the blatant ADHD adjacent traits: disorganized, easily distracted, forgetful, restless / fidgeting / sensory seeking, impulsive, flight of ideas and focus, etc etc.

💚Miraak:

PTSD:

The way I have my version of Miraak written is that he’s taken into the dragon cult at around the age of 10 when it’s discovered he’s dovahkiin. This causes immense tension within the order especially given he’s just recruited in based on ‘some bloodtite’ rather than the skilled and accomplished warriors, scholars, and so on who had to earn their place and their Dovahzul name. Miraak faces verbal and physical abuse from those around him right away being there and eventually psychologically he begins to develop that arrogant, cruel, and inflated ego as a defense mechanism / response to this. His PTSD often manifests as depression, anxiety, panic attacks, isolation, withdrawing from people, flashbacks, hypervigilance, etc. Ways he learns to cope with this include having his own sort of safe space to retreat to when needed, writing, reassurance from loved ones, spending time outside and in calm quieter environments, etc. Once him and Kayla become friends and eventually lovers, she's able to help support him through tougher times even if that's just sitting next to one another without speaking or touching in a way-assuring him he isn't alone with these challenges, eventually overtime he begins to favor physical touch as a form of affection and appreciates the sort of quiet gentle affection Kayla and him are able to share.

Gotta love gentle love that that springs from horrid beginnings.

That tends to be a big theme for the two of them is that they both have their own PTSD and while it may be caused by different circumstances, they understand having said challenges with it and are open and supportive to each other’s needs with that.

Scarring:

Miraak definitely has all kinds of scars, wayyyy more than Kayla. I haven’t properly mapped out or decided what that looks like and entails-hence why I haven’t drawn them much but they definitely exist for him. Most are different fight / battle scars.

Neurodivergence: