Motivation and Inspiration.
For everyone preparing for UPSC CSE to become an IAS/IPS/IFS.
There are according to me, 2 very important aspects which define your journey towards achieving any target, let alone the UPSC CSE.
First, the reason, what I mean to say is, why did you begin in the first place. What was your motivation behind your decision. If you, for example, began the preparation as it is a tough exam anyone who clears it is considered “intelligent” then, I am sorry to say, you won’t last too long in the process. Why? Well, this is not enough for you to go all the way. This will only last for maybe a month or so, you will then get distracted, as it was not something that you really wanted to do, but something you at that point decided to do as you probably had nothing better to do or were out of ideas.
A very great quote, but this won’t happen if you don’t have a very strong reason. So, firstly, ask yourself, whenever in doubt, “WHY DID I BEGIN?” If the answer fails to motivate you, find a better reason, if you want to succeed.
My reason was simple, I started the preparation to fulfill my dream of becoming an IAS, my fathers lost ambition to become a civil servant and my mother’s happiness.
I remember when I was dejected or unhappy with the way the things were going, I had a secret formula for instant energy. Yes, and it worked for me all the time, it didn’t happen much though.
Whenever I would be unhappy or my patience with the process ran out, I would just stop for a while. I would then go and silently observe my mother working in the household , she has worked tirelessly for more than 25 years, without a single complain, from 05:00 in the early mornings to 12:00 late nights, she would sleep only after every single one of us had food. I used to wake her up in the middle of the nights many times as I would study all night, for coffee or something to eat, not even once did she have even an expression of anything but happiness, to see me work hard. I would look at her and just ask myself, “Imagine how much happiness you could give her, you are working for your own dreams true, but the work has not been put in by just you, if she has not given up, how can you?”.
It would make me cry many times but always worked.
Now, the second thing, inspiration. What do I mean when I say inspiration. I mean what was the biggest source of your inspiration. For me, someone who comes from a typical Indian lower middle class family, inspiration was always my father.
How? Lemme tell you. We are a family of 5, Father, mother, myself and 2 younger sisters. Father works for the state government and mother is a homemaker. My father comes from an extremely poor family and one where he was till very recently the only graduate ever. He was the first one to have understood the true value of education and was sure of what he was going to invest in.
As kids, he decided to send us to the best schools, in the process, the only money left was for us to only eat and survive. He made sure that the money he earned was first and foremost spent on education, then on health and then the leftover in the monthly groceries. This way, he was never able to save anything, yes, he has zero savings. He didn’t buy even an inch of a land, when his collegues bought and invested handsomely in properties, the only car he bought came an year ago, the time till people have already changed quite a few cars, this also he did as a gift for me and by taking a loan from a friend for the down payment, as he thought I deserved it after my success in the CSE 2016, he still moves on a scooter. He was always very sure that what he wanted to give us the greatest wealth ever, education.
He was often joked and laughed upon by his office friends, being homeless and living in a government accommodation. He replies them with, “I will soon have 3 houses”, referring to his 3 kids.
Thus, he was a constant source of inspiration during this preparation and he still is and will always be.
Now, what I wanted to illustrate was, that we are so desperate and maybe many times rightly so, that we start looking for both the reason and the inspiration in the outside, external world, when it is always there, it is always there , around us. Not just your parents, you will have people who have believed in you, just think of them, you will get the strength, you will have people who gave their all for you, just think of them, you will rise up again, and also, if nothing else works, look into the mirror, that guy, yes, he believes in you when you began, if you stop or give up, you will fail him. Trust me, you can fail anyone and live peacefully but not him.