Lumi and the Great Big Galaxy: A Year In Retrospect
Lumi and the Great Big Galaxy was my first venture into the world of independent animation. Growing up, I was known as the kid who had aspired to make their own cartoon, and in my late teens I’d become starry eyed by the plethora of short films, webisodes, and animated pilots releasing on YouTube during that time. I too, wanted to make my mark on the world.
A year from its release and now the anniversary of its pilot, Lumi has now become something I look upon with many conflicting emotions.
I’m proud of the work everyone put into making my dream creation come to life. I’m grateful for the support fans and the crew gave through sporadic updates and struggles to keep up with an increasingly hectic production. I’m overjoyed the pilot was released, and that the world finally got to see the years of hard work that went into it. And I’m guilt ridden from my failures a year after its release and four years since its initial crowdfunding campaign.
I put a ton of pressure on myself throughout the entire project which lead to a lot of stress and anxiety on my end. I was young and inexperienced, and while that is a fault in itself, it’s not something I feel the need to punish myself for, at least not as extensively as I had been after the pilot’s release.
Anything that didn’t work out or was not planned was something I heavily attributed as a failure rather than a mistake or misstep, and it’s something I find myself still trying to work on— to not put as much blame on myself as I have been.
One of the biggest realizations I came to was that I not a good boss. I lacked confidence, I asked for other’s input and opinions rather than trusting my own judgment. I wanted to be a team player and make sure everyone’s voices were heard.
I was a friend rather than an employer. I couldn’t be the leader I needed to be. And because of that, it lead me to eventually take on the brunt of the work until I physically and mentally couldn’t do it anymore. I won’t go into detail about what I was going through during the production, but it was not easy for me.
There was a lot I wish I could have managed more effectively had I not treated it as a group project rather than an actual production, but again, I was inexperienced.
The release date was set, then pushed back, then set again. Editing was in the works, the Premiere timeline filled with everything everyone had worked on, which I later ended up passing editing duty over to my friend Arch, aka @radiobarf, who I am still so grateful for their help in pushing Lumi over the finish line.
Once editing was complete and the files were sent back, it was time to set up its premiere. I promoted it everywhere I could, but even then I could tell I was running on fumes. I was excited, anxious, terrified, happy. This was my magnum opus, the project I’d been obsessively drawing, talking about and sharing on the internet for years at that point.
Then April 20th finally rolled around— the pilot‘s release date and subsequent premiere. I streamed my reaction to it. I remember spotting a massive editing error I had left in before I could catch it, but at that point, the premiere was over. The credits rolled.
And the sheer exhaustion in regards to just about everything hit all at once.
It didn’t take me long to figure out that I completely burnt myself out. I stopped drawing the characters, stopped interacting with its world, and stopped putting in focus towards it after its release. Around that time I was hired to work as a writer for SMG4, and after being provided with, essentially, a new sandbox to play in, I left it behind. I didn’t look back. And after SMG4 ended its run, I continued to put my focus elsewhere— with Lumi, still, no longer being in my sights.
I’ve bounced around constantly on what I want to do with Lumi, a back and forth of if I want to continue the project or shelve it for good. It was something I don’t have any regret on putting out into the world, as the characters still mean so much to me as being my first ever indie project. But I’m not as close to them as I once was, having grown into a much different person since then.
I still don’t really know what to do with them, and admittedly I’m not sure if I ever will. I come off of that experience Lumi with a little more understanding and even more respect than I already had for the production process. I still hold that guilt and harbor resentment towards myself not having the experience I so clearly needed. For failing the people who believed in me, and those who still do.
I’m trying to be kinder to myself in realizing that it was a massive task to take on. There’s a lot I wish I could have done differently, a lot I wish I did do differently. But I am still so thankful to those who still offered their support and guidance.
Thank you to the backers, cast and crew who helped make this possible.
Thank you to my friends, family, and loved ones to encouraging me to keep pursuing my dreams.
And thank you, for reading this.
Happy one year to Lumi. 🌟
