#latehours

lowkey tired but there’s something peaceful about moments like this…

just me, a keyboard, random notes on paper, and the soft hum of computers.

not glamorous, not aesthetic in the usual way — just real life happening slowly.

“You maybe tired and exhausted, but at least you woke up today. Someone else didn’t...” - Unknown

Well, it’s always been an exhausting day for me. Always. I’ve been missing so many classes since the research started. I’ve been sleepless since it started. My mom was kind of worried. She saw how tired I am, every single day. She saw how my eyes darkens as the days passed. I have been handling two researches, Filipino and English subject, and I am the leader of the both subject. It’s not that my group mates are not helpful, it’s just that, they give tasks on the same day, and had deadlines on the same day also. We have this two extraordinary teachers who are indeed good teachers. But we’re having a problem about how they teach us. In our Practical Research subject, our professor often asks us to pass things she haven’t taught yet. Then, after we passed our papers, that’s the time that she’ll teach us how to do it. It’s not that I’m complaining about her teachings, it’s just that, the money we spent in a wrong papers, the late hours we spent in front of a computer, it was all wasted. Then, we have this Filipino teacher who gives us tasks without teaching us anything. She’ll just say, ‘’Do this, then pass it to me, next meeting.” Then, after the distribution of cards, our grade is below 75. How’s that? She never taught us a thing, and she still have the guts to give us grades that low? How discombobulating and frustrating.

 Things are falling apart. Things are getting worse in my everyday life. I wanted to sleep, but this problems are preventing me to rest. I will sleep with a heavy burden inside me. I haven’t slept in peace for a long time. They are good teachers, indeed. We just want them to teach us things before we do it, so we won’t be wasting money on something that is wrong.