#laszlo x reader

-Laszlo is always ready for anything and everything. Pretty much anything his partner is willing to do, he'd be down for. -He'd be particularly interested in bringing more than just himself and his partner into the bedroom-Nadja, of course, could be invited, if she's not already there, but Nandor is an option as well.

-That being said, he's very respectful to his sexual partners, and would never do something they weren't comfortable with! He just needs to be reeled in sometimes from doing something particularly untoward (like public park sex, a la season 1). -He doesn't really last long, especially if it's something he's really enjoying, but! He doesn't have a very long refractory period, and would be willing to go multiple rounds until his partner is satisfied.

-It's also canon that he cums a lot, so a potential partner needs to be okay with and,,,also help with the cleanup (please don't ask Guillermo to do it).

-He's very much a switch (though usually prefers bottoming), so depending on what a partner would want, he can be flexible. He also really enjoys using all sorts of toys, both on his partner and himself.

-He can also be extraordinarily needy-he's horny pretty much at all times, so a partner who also has a frequent sex drive would be best. That being said, he does know how to take care of himself, so he'd never force his partner into anything.

-He has multiple sexual partners and will be quite open about that, so that may be something to keep in mind as well, depending on level of comfort with that sort of thing.

Laszlo adores you for who you are and he couldn’t care less about your gender situation in any way. He only cares about the fact that you’re fantastic and that you get him hard, which is one of the most important things. 

He’s very supportive of you; although he needs your guidance because most of his knowledge is rather outdated and he hasn’t quite learned how to use the internet, after all. But he truly is your number one supporter in every way.

Any transphobe who dares to be rude to you is dead. There are no exceptions. He doesn’t drink their blood because he doesn’t want that in him, but he kills them.

Days (nights) during which your gender dysphoria may be worse, he does everything in his power to distract you from it and make you feel better. Whatever you need, he’ll make sure you get it. Even if that’s just cuddling him, or talking to him, or listening to or watching something with him. 

Laszlo may be horny all the time, but he respects your boundaries, and so if you’re not up for it (or into it at all, ever) that is no problem. He simply makes sure you’re okay because he wouldn’t want you to feel guilty or anything.

ok so at first he's the absolutely insufferable and rude type, but over time he'd becone the flirty type of rival and it just. gets on your nerves

"well fuck off then, no one likes you anyway" and nandor just scolds him bc like how could he be so rude to a housemate? this wasn't nornal laszlo! and then after so many times of telling him off, nandkr immediately notices when laszo starts flirting with you and hitting on you and he just sighs and shakes his head, choosing to ignore it

and to make it worse? nadja is complete fine w it so you've got no escape from laszlo's flirting, but you're kinda glad bc you enjoy it a teensy weeny bit

"you're looking absolutely radiant tonight y/n-" "i- w- shut the fuck up laszlo!!" // "have i ever told you how-" "no. let's keep it that way"

one time you flirt back and he just. collapses on the spot and from that moment on genuinely has the bigest and most uncontrollable attraction towards you

"hey y/n! you totally fucked that guy up! and you looked amazing while doing it, my sweet!" like you could do something as tiny as wink back or compliment him in return and he considers it a reciprocation lf the flirting, which it of course was, and falls head over heels for you

he finally confesses to you in the most. nonchalant way like

"laszlo i swear to- why the hell are you always like this?!" after you're like so helpless and confused by his constant flirting and he just chuckles and looks at you earnestly and places both of his hands on your cheek. "is it not obvious? because im in love with you, darling" he's so lovesick with you in his hands and just grins dopily as you just stare at him dumbstruck. a slight blush makes it's way onto your face and he immediately notices, as well as the dilation of your pupils and the grin gets even wider. "guess nandor was right, i did get you to love me by being a total ass' he smirks before kissing you.

ok where to start. they're literally both so affectionate to you like. never ending pecks on the cheek and hand holding

sometimes they'll squabble over you, but then remember that they can just share you because you love them both

"why the fuck are we even arguing about this!! they wouldn't ever let either of us take them in a date without the other!!" "WELL- oh... yeah my love you're right..." // "why can't we just leave this?! they love us both equally!!" "....i suppose you're right actually yeah"

at firat they had absolutely no idea what a polyamorous closed relationship was because they're just so used to having an open relationship, but after a momth they get the hang of it and just absolutely love it. and honestly? they feel as if you're the piece they've been missing

it's a good job it did work out too because nadja's jealousy would've been absolutely insufferable if she saw you with someone other than her and laszlo

they're both very protective of you like if someone comes up to you and flirts with you, they'll bare their fangs at the person and hiss, telling them to get lost. nadja is especially agressive this, she once threatened to chop a person's tongue out if they didn't stop flirting with you, while laszlo just glared at tjem and told them and told them to watch themself

intimate moments with them are just. beautiful like

sitting on the sofa, laszlo often in the middle, one hand resting on his shoulders to reach nadja's, your fingers gently interlocked as she places a gentle kiss on the back of your hand, the other reaching down and intertwining with laszlo's right hand, while his left hand is wrapped in nadja's. laszlo getting all flustered amd blushy when ypu gently stroke his hand with your thumb

nadja getting all flustered and trying ro maintain her composure when you and laszlo both interlock ypur fingers with her respective hands, before peppering kisses on her cheeks

watching the stars with them, sat on laszlo's lap as nadja leans her head on your shoulder

lighthearted teasing and purposely pissing eachother off 24/7

"if you two don't stop fucking singing karoke right now-!" "oh come onnnn nadja! my good lady wife you know you want to join!!" "yeah come on love!! join us! your favourite somg is on next!" and tjen laszlo just looks at you with a fond expression on his face, looking back to nadja and smiling slightly, shurgging as he mirrors your pose and extends a hand to her. of course she can't resist when to two loves of her death sing her absolute all time favourite song to her, so she takes both of your hands and begins singing along. but between us? she's still a little pissed that the two of you are blasting karoke in the fancy room // "oh y/n!! nadja! for death's sake!! stop coming out of nowhere and tackling me to the ground in hugs! ...it's scary" "oh come on laz, you know you love it really" "....i do"

the sound of your giggles overlaying eachother is literally a beautiful harmony to the ears

they're the perfect balance to have in a relationship because nadja is more blunt and confident, she doesn't dress up her attraction in fancy formalities, she'll straight up tell you tjat you're unbelievably stunning and the kiss you. but on the other hand laszlo is more appreciative and flattering, giving you all sorts of compliments before gently kissing you

nadja is the one to go to for advice amd laszlo is the one to go for comfort

they're both equally brilliant at getting gifts. like at first it was a competition but they realised it was much more rewarding to just get what they wanted to get for you, no matter if it was better than the other's or not

whole laszlo focuses on buying you jewelry, nadja focuses on bottles of exquisite and high end blood

“And what do you do in the house?” They prompt you to further present yourself.

“I’m Nadja’s and Laszlo’s new familiar, which means mostly I help Guillermo with stuff like cleaning the house and keeping the place tidy.”

A blink, a breath.

“And dispose of the bodies of course.” The crew exchanges glances, but you don’t pay them any mind as you can hear Laszlo calling, and you’re already out of the room before anyone can react.

It cuts to Laszlo and Nadja sitting on the same interviewing couch, Laszlo leaned back while Nadja sits upright.

“Ah yes, our new familiar.” Laszlo grins. “Rather cute thing isn’t she.”

“And very skilled at what a familiar needs I must say.” Another cut, this time its you and Guillermo dragging bodies down the hall, making a trail of blood on the floor, some splashing up on your clothes.

Back to the interview, Nadja continues.

“We were rather pleasantly surprised when she took to being a familiar like duck to water.” A change of scene and you’re back on the interview couch, wearing different clothes than earlier, and Guillermo seated next to you

“Well, I used to work at the morgue before I got this job, so I’ve never really been squeamish about these sort of things.” You shrug. “You get used to it after a while, and the skills I got there transferred to this job rather well.”

“Yeah, and it’s been nice to have some help around the house, since I’m technically not a familiar anymore. Not that they always remember that.” Guillermo says as he looks into the camera and you fail to hide a snort of laughter.

Nandor is up next. “I think the new familiar is ok, she does have some bad habits though.” He wrinkles his nose, and with some prompting from behind the camera that can’t be heard, he elaborates.

“She makes food in the house.” Back to Laszlo and Nadia, which both groan in unison.

“Yes, she does cook in the house, but she’s so good with bodies that we let her get away with it.” Laszlo grimaces as Nadia has to hold back gags at even the thought of food.

For the first time, it’s cuts to Colin Robinson, in his usual spot in the basement.

“Oh I don’t mind the cooking at all.” There’s a glimmer of blue before it’s back to you and Guillermo on the couch.

“Well yeah, I do, it’s not very elaborate or anything, but I do make food sometimes. Only sometimes though, because unlike superhuman Guillermo over here,” you point with your thumb at Guillermo who frowns (which barely hides a little smile at the almost compliment), “I can’t survive on only coffee and chocolate and shit, I need some proper food.”

Once more it changes scenes, and now it’s you in the kitchen, cutting up some aubergines on a small cutting board next to an air fryer while you hum along to the radio.

The camera is far enough away that you can see most of you, and you turns slightly so you can address it directly, pointing with your knife.

“Normally I would like grill them, but the air fryer works just as well.” As the song in the background ends, you grin as you hear the start of the next song, and turn it up so it can be clearly heard, and start to sing along.

“Hold still, my sweet, I'm trying to measure the space between, your molar and your jaw.” You sing along to the almost deceptively slow start of the song.

“This caliper, no cause for fear, no, it, it doesn't hurt. It only helps me measure,” You chop the aubergine with some force, loud enough that it can be heard over the radio and your singing.

“How much skin you have, oh, and the topmost layer of fat, but I won't make an incision, 'till you're nice and numb.” Turning over the sliced aubergine, you pick up one half so you can look at the pale inside.

“ Oh, and laughing gas can be so much fun, please don't doubt my decision. This'll be ooh, this'll be aah, this'll be absolutely whee.” With quick and sure movements you make cuts in a crisscross pattern over the flesh of the aubergine.

“This'll be nice, this'll be neat, and bring you closer to me.” Back down on the chopping board, you drizzle over the cuts with some oil .

“So don't you squirm, don't you fret, I'm not gonna hurt you yet. I just feel the need to be getting, A little of you, a lot of blood-letting.” Salting and peppering your food, you grin as you continue singing.

“I know the sensation you're probably dreading, but cutting you up will be so refreshing for me, refreshing for me, yeah.” Happy with your prep, you open the air fryer and put you aubergine in, quickly punching in the setting you need.

“What are you doing?”

“Fuck, shit, damn.” Nadja and Laszlo stands in the doorway to the kitchen, and you’re just glad you didn’t have the knife in your hand just then, because surely you would have accidentally have cut yourself then, and caused a scene.

“Fucking hell, you scared me.” Nadja grins.

“Good. But what are you doing?”

“Making food.” Both of them gag. “But also I’m singing along to a song that reminds me of my shitty ex.” Puzzled and a bit interested, they listens to the song that is still playing. You grimace, not even sure why you offered up that act, but hey, at least they aren’t complaining about the food or smell.

“And red is such a lovely color on you, but you won't be needing those. When you've got no knees. Or shins, or pinky fingers, or arteries. So hold still while I remove them. Oh, and don't fight back. I think you'll find you're missing the point with that. That's enough out of you.” Nadja grins and give two thumbs up, while Laszlo laughs.

“Sounds like you had a good time with your ex. Ripping out body parts of shitty people is so much fun!” Nadja exclaims as Laszlo nods in what you think is agreement.

“What, no! It’s a metaphor, it’s not actually about dismembering someone, like, it’s about taking back power.”

“But taking someone fingers is power.” Laszlo points out.

“Well, yes, I guess, sorta, but I shouldn’t be thinking about my ex anyway, it’s been months, and the only reason is because they had the gall to invite me to a party.”

“Ohh party! We should go! It have been a while since we had a proper party dear.” Laszlo says, mostly addressing Nadja.

“No.”

“Yes.” Nadia grins. “That way you can show your ex some power, maybe even rip of some fingers. Or other body parts if you would prefer.” You sigh, recognizing that you have lost that battle, but you still make a last ditch effort to get out of it.

“But I got nothing to wear. Well, nothing that would work for this.”

“Ah, nonsense, I got something! Something powerful!” Nadja grins, fangs glinting in the low light of the kitchen.

“Come on little morsel, lets get you changed.” Laszlo says. You sigh, and shake your head at the camera, turning off your air fryer, following Nadja and Laszlo as they go out of frame.

A jump in time and scene, and you’re dressed in a black patterned velvet suit, a shiny red vest with black buttons and lace trim, stark white shirt, and black dress shoes.

Surprisingly it all fits, and you expect it’s not Nadja‘s, but rather something that had belonged to a victim. Not that you really care about that, because, holy hell, you look good. 

“You look good enough to eat! And that’s a high compliment coming from me!” You laugh and do a little twirl, showing off the outfit and how good you feel in it.

“Thank you Nadja, I do feel powerful in this outfit.”

“Great, then we’re ready to go then!” Without another word she transforms into a bat and flies out an open window.

“Bat!” Laszlo yells, and follows after her. You yell out after them, but it’s already to late.

You sigh.

“At least they know the address.” You mumble to yourself as you pull out your phone to order an Uber.

A cut, and you’re just stepping out of the Uber outside an apartment building, loud music being able to be heard even out here.

Seconds later Nadja and Laszlo appears as a bats behind you, and then in human form. It’s only luck that you don’t jump out of your skin as you turn around, and find them very close.

“Ah, hey guys, I see you found your way.”

“Yes! Now lets get inside.”

“Sure, shouldn’t be a problem.” You ring and through the shitty speakers of the calling system rolls the voice of your ex, causing you to grimace, but at least they tell you to come in, so everyone are free to join.

Another cut, and everyone are walking towards an open door that leads to a room bathed in purple and red lights, music spilling out, several people moving around and dancing inside.

Your ex isn’t there, but one of their roommates welcome you inside.

No one pays much attention the the camera crew that joins you.

Nadja and Laszlo looks around with hunger in her eyes as soon as you’re inside, sniffing out in the air.

“I can smell several virgins.” Laszlo states and you sigh.

“Have fun, but please refrain from eating someone right now.”

“We snacked on those men you brought earlier today, so don’t be so worried! Go find your ex, you have fun, and rip some limbs off!” You roll your eyes, but smile at Nadja’s enthusiasm.

Setting your sight on the bar, you decide that you’re going to need a drink for this.

Or several.

Preferably the latter as you can’t say that this is where you wanted your night to go.

You don’t get your wish however as soon as you take the very first sip of your drink, your ex sidles up next to you, putting a hand on your shoulder, which you shrug off.

“Hey, looking good as ever.” Sam looks you up and down, and you feel your skin crawl. “Maybe even better.”

“Thanks I guess.” Your force a polite smile, which Sam doesn’t quite catch onto.

“So what are you doing here?” You give them an incredulous look. Cool, so this is the angle this time. Right, you can roll with this.

“You invited me.” Sam smiles like the two of you are sharing a secret, and you don’t like it.

“And I got the strong impression you weren’t going to come. But here you are, and I’m glad I was wrong.” They try to lean closer, but you take a step back

“I didn’t want to come at first.”

“Oh, what changed your mind?” Your eyes move over the crowd before you can help yourself, spotting Laszlo and Nadja talking, or rather trying to seduce someone.

“Someone convinced me.” Sam looks to where you are looking, and spots Laszlo and Nadja. Not like they are hard to spot in a crowd dressed more modern, and hell of a less goth than them.

“Oh, I didn’t take you for one to double dip.” You snort, taking a sip of your drink.

“No, that’s not, that’s not it.”

“No? What is it then?” You can’t be bothered trying to explain what familiars are and that actually they’re vampires, so you settle on something like the truth.

“I work for them, and they’re the ones who convinced me to go here.”

“So you took your bosses with you to a party?” You contemplate downing your whole drink in one go.

“More like they invited themselves, and I don’t know if bosses are the right word to use.”

“Uh-huh.” Sam doesn’t seem convinced that there isn’t something more, and is surely less convinced seconds later, as Laszlo and Nadja appear on either side of you, Laszlo‘s arm around your waist and Nadja’s hand on your shoulder.

“So is this the ex you were thinking about when singing about dismemberment?” Sam’s eyebrows raise and you groan.

“Yes.” A beat, and you curse internally when you realizes what they are waiting for. “Laszlo and Nadja, this is Sam, my ex. Sam, this is Laszlo and Nadja, my... bosses.” Sam extends a hand, which Laszlo shakes with vigor, while Nadja looks like she is already honing in on which body parts to rip out or off.

“So you’re the ones fucking her now?”

“SAM!” The fucking audacity of them, and you’re reminded why you broke it off with them, being this fucking rude should be punishable by law.

“Well no, she haven’t offered.” Laszlo offers a slightly confused answer.

“But we would if we could.” Nadja offers, and you sputter, as Sam looks like they’re going to burst out laughing.

“Oh fuck you Sam!” You throw your drink in their face, and storm out, leaving behind a stunned human and two vampires, while the crew scrambles to follow you.

They catch up with you as you stop when you get outside of the building, drawing a deep breath and groaning.

You rub your forehead, already feeling an oncoming headache.

“Times like these makes me wish I had started smoking.” You say as you look into the camera. Before you can say anything else your attention is moved to Nadja as she joins you in the cold New York air.

“What a dreadful party.” You huff at Laszlo’s outburst, crossing your arms.

“You’re telling me!”

“Yes, yes I am!”

“No dismembering or anything!” Nadja supplies.

A rare moment of silence from the usually loud vampires as they watches your stance.

“You know we meant what we said in there.” You furrow your brow, words taking a few moments to process. Nadja nods as she grins, getting close so she can wrap herself around you from behind.

“You’re a rather tasty looking and smelling morsel, and plus you’re good with getting rid of bodies, so that makes you even more attractive.” Laszlo leans in close, placing a hand on your waist.

“So what do you think about that now?” Eyes flicking between them and the crew that you’re suddenly very aware of, you need a few seconds to find your answer.

“I think the cameras should go right now.” Laszlo turns around and claps his hands.

Laszlo hurried down the institute’s corridors, stuffing a letter into his jacket pocket as he called out for Cyrus to ready the calash. While in his hurry, he didn’t notice the sound of two other footsteps, footsteps of children running down the corridor next to his one, about to rush into his legs. They didn’t hit each other too hard, but it was enough to make Laszlo startled and snap out of his current thoughts.

“Careful, you need to pay attention to where you are stepping,” Laszlo tells them, looking down into their apologetic faces as sternly as he could manage.

“We’re sorry, Mr Kriezler,”

“Laszlo, please.”

Laszlo glanced over to the window, where the sound of children’s happy yells could be heard from the courtyard.

“Now, you better get yourselves outside before matron gets worried.”

“Won’t you join us outside Laszlo? We rarely see you,”

“Not today. I am needed elsewhere.”

In the pocket of Laszlo’s jacket, he felt around till his fingers brushed against the folded letter, reminding him of the urgency he needed to travel to their house. Nodding at the boys to bid them adieu, he then quickly scurried to the front doors of the institute, hopping into the calash which had been prepared for him, and travelled to the house.

It wasn’t a long drive, and soon enough, he knocked at the door of a small house on the outskirts of the town. It took a few minutes, of which he awkwardly waited outside, but finally, the door opened, and he was graced with the sight of you.

His eyes soften as they land on you, and his heart skipped a beat from finally being able to see your face again in what had felt like an exceedingly long amount of time.

“Y/n, my dear, I came as soon as I could.”

“Oh, Laszlo, thank you!” you cried, rushing into his arms.

Laszlo stiffened, feeling your arms wrap around him, still unused to such physical affection, but slowly he melted into your embrace, closing his eyes and resting his chin on you as he wrapped his one strong arm around you, stroking your back in comfort. After a few minutes of holding each other, he gradually pulled back.

“Come, let’s go inside to have some tea and discuss what situation you find yourself in.”

You guided Laszlo into your home, your hand clutching his tightly for some sense of reassurance. He knew where he was going, though, for he had visited your home many times before. You led him to the living room and then quickly disappeared to the kitchen to make two cups of tea while Laszlo awkwardly tried to make himself comfortable on the sofa.

When you came back, he smiled reassuringly at you, thanking you as he took the hot cup from you and placed it on the table before him. You were going to sit opposite him, but Laszlo shook his head, patting the space beside him asking you to join him on the sofa.

“Please, tell me what the problem is; you know I want to assist you in any way I can,” Laszlo tells you, looking earnestly into your eyes.

You swallow, barely being able to get the words out of your mouth, let alone being able to tell Laszlo all of your worries. You glance at him, tears in your eyes and Laszlo’s face soften his heart seeing how tormented you were.

Both of his hands reach out to your lap, clasping your shaking ones, and he brings them to his lips, placing a gentle kiss upon them.

“It’s okay; you are safe here.”

You nod, looking away from Laszlo to gather your courage to tell him everything that had been plaguing you.

“Well, you know how I have been working placements at nearby institutes, to be able to get experience to be able to have credentials to work at yours? Well, there is one place I need to work at for a week to complete my experience, but it’s the institute I went to when I was a child, you know what my childhood was like, but I was thinking about that place recently and well. Welling happened to me there, Laszlo, something bad, and I’m not sure I can go back,” you told him in a rush, cutting off at the end to stop the sobs from leaving your lips as your eyes wheeled up with tears that started to run down your cheeks.

Laszlo didn’t say anything while you spoke, instead waiting until you had finished before choosing to say anything. He had so many emotions running through him at hearing your words, but what mattered most at the moment was comforting you, and he could see that. He reached his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into him.

As soon as Laszlo did that, you just let go of trying to hold back your tears and buried your face into his chest, crying freely. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head and rubbed your back warmly, letting you cry it out.

“It’s going to be okay, love,” he kept whispering to you over and over until finally, your tears had dried, and you just rested against his chest.

“Is there anything you can do to not go there?”

You just shook your head, knowing your fate.

Laszlo finally moved, grasping your shoulder with his head and pulling you back, so he could look down at you.

“You are one of the strongest women I have met y/n, every day I remark at just how brave you are to keep chasing what you want and to stand up to all the men who tell you, you should work as a matron or marry a man and be a stay at home mum. You are remarkable, and I am in awe of you. It makes me incredibly angry to know someone ever did that to someone as nice as you but I also know that it won’t break you, that you have the strength to pull through and show to everyone and yourself that you won’t let this define you.”