Dude why tf is my mother trying to make me feel bad for not doing dishes and laundry when I have LITERALLY done all of it and felt like a dog for the past week. Like Iβm sorry Iβm in a bad (slightly better then before but still horrible) mental state and I feel as if all my words come out garbled and no one can hear my screaming for help because I have no functioning throat to scream with. I meanβ¦ at least I have my hallucinations and ghosts to talk to and cry to. Theyβve seen me cry more than my best friend has. And I donβt even think my best friend likes me. Or at least not all my alters. And I just want them to tell me who they like best so I can have them out more often than the ones they donβt like during shared classes. I fucking hate it. I just want someone to like me. To like US. All of us. Even Phen. No one likes Phen besidesβ¦ wellβ¦ me. Heβs so isolated because everyone is scared. I especially want someone to like Phen. Since heβs usually the one thatβs gonna be out for School. He and Toby. And itβs gonna ruin me. I already am so exhausted because Iβm pretty much the main host. The heart of the system, and I justβ¦. Hate it. I hate it. All of it. But I can do most of the things at school. Toby barely knows how to play, Phen is better then Toby at playing and marching, Toby is really good at Math and English and Science. Phen is better at physical stuff because heβs literally a WWII veteran. I donβt even know what Iβm getting at anymore. Iβm sorry.
