yo quiero pisar firme sobre la tierra mientras mi mente vuela

You get an unexpected call from an old friend in need of an emergency repair on her opening night.

Good thing: that's kind of your whole gig.

Bad thing: you've been avoiding the Berzatto family since the funeral.

pairing; Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto & Fem Reader, but also like, reader's friends with the entire crew (esp Richie, Syd & posthumously Mikey), so if you're just here for the platonic fun of those dynamics, pls enjoy!

tasting notes; slowest of slow burns, semi-strangers (you'll see) to friends to lovers. lot of hurt/comfort. there will be angst, cause it's FX's The Bear.

portion; in progress!!

recommended listening; handmade spotify playlist.

faq; if you got some Qs

kofi; tip your repairman! if you want.

possible allergies; fully spoils the entire series (par for season 3, as I'm writing this ahead of release, so, p.s if you're from the future: off-canon). I've never written smut before and I couldn't tell you if I'm gonna be willing to try by the end of this-- So if that's your thing, temper thine expectations! Mikey is very central to the reader's background-- which is also quite padded, so def prep the brain for a more in-depth look at his passing and struggles w/ addiction. No Y/N, just a FUCK ton of nicknames.

TABLE OF CONTENTS A.K.A REPAIR INVOICE

Tony, Terry, Tommy? | Walk-In Hotfix

Do the Thing! | Toilet Repair

Pretty. | Bolting Down Booths

I Want To. | Wellness Check

Where To? | Delivery Fees

Doing Too Much. | House Call

The Other Shoe | Consultation

Carved In. | Separate Invoice

Ad Interim. | No Service

Zero Pulse. | Oven Hotfix

Just Dropped. | Missing Invoice

Something to Do. | Catering

Two Steps Back. | Advanced Payment

Don't Say It. | Closing Out

Loosen Your Grip. | R & D

Better Be Perfect. | Water Hammer Hotfix (YES YOU READ CORRECTLY, NEW CHAPTER!!)

TERMINUS OS- DEEP WEB HIDDEN SERVICE THEMED NEOCITIES TEMPLATE

FEATURES: -LOADING SCREEN -GLITCHING TEXT -SUBTLE ANIMATIONS -SMOOTH TRANSITIONS

MADE BY NUMBPILLED ON KO-FI

LIVE PREVIEW

Girlhood

Tw csa, dysphoria, sexism

Im thinking about girlhood again. What it meant to have once been small and pinked. I was never a woman but i think i might have been a girl at one point. I talk to other trans people about what feels intangibly different in our experiences, and theres a recurring socialising gap. A difference. They quibble about using amab or afab as reductionist or irrelevent but i need it. I need to say i am afab. I was assigned female at birth and it meant something, means something still. Not about my body now, but about how i was seen, what i was assigned. Ballet shoes and tiaras and barbies and tea parties and cute little pink polka dot bikinis.

I dont know when i first realised why some grown men looked at me like that. What that look meant. I knew by four. Knew again at 8. At 11. Understood implicitly and forever by 13. I will never not have known what it is like to have been looked at like that. There is no escaping that bone deep fear and retching disgust with yourself and Him.

I liked My Little Pony. Still do i guess, but i dont engage with it, especially online. I cant go near, even in my own thoughts, how their girlhoods were ravaged. Pink bows and rainbow hair and messy sticky fingers wrapped around them.

via @matchamatea