Nov 22, 2024
Jenny Holzer, Laments, date unknown
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Jenny Holzer, Laments, date unknown
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is seasonal depression contagious or is my brain doing all that on purpose because this time last year was also soul-crushingly miserable for me
getting fucked in a coffin would fix me I think
Through our nights the promises you made, if you have not forgotten them – then of your tears of yearning the hue I’m curious to know.
– Fujiwara no Teishi, Empress Consort of Retired Emperor Ichijō
よもすがらちぎりしことをわすれずはこひんなみだのいろぞゆかしき Yo mo sugara chigirishi koto o wasurezu wa koin namida no iro zo yukashiki
Poem 536 in Goshūishū (Later Collection of Gleanings; 1086), where it opens book X, dedicated to laments.
Commentary
The poem is recorded in Goshūishū, as well as in Eiga monogatari (Tale of Flowering Fortunes; around 1030) as one of Teishi's death poems found by her deathbed. Mention of hue in relation to tears implies tears of blood.
Now that I am no longer in this world, do you cry for me? Those tears, are those the tears of blood? I wish to know, if you do yearn for me.
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Why write today?
Why write today? To empty myself - of what? To empty myself of words. Which words? The soul.
There's no horizon left in the pit of paper. Not pen but knife. The page breaks me.
Why write today? Today I don't know what to write - like yesterday and tomorrow - labyrinth of laments
without letters and ink. I hang the titles on the wire… I make a cosmos of them; here's why I write today.
Jenny Holzer