#la push

“What’s going on with you?”

You let the breeze answer as you looked at an ant marching past your feet.

“Is this about Paul?”

“Yes.” You whispered.

She huffed to herself, “You don’t want somebody who makes you feel what you’re feeling. Fuck him.”

“You don’t understand…Things were good. Out of nowhere he just…”

“He’s not the only guy left in the world. Broaden your horizons or…This could be the time to work on yourself.”

You did take what she said into consideration. You indulged in your own hobbies, what you liked, and what you couldn’t do if you were still together with Paul.

It was hard. It was then that you realized that you felt bored without Paul. You focused on trying to somewhat have a life outside of him.

Sitting outside on the porch was the best pastime because it gave you alone time with your thoughts.

Watching the fleeting cars rush off to their destination made you curious. You made up stories and scenarios behind the cars. Where they were going and why.

One evening, you heard footsteps and you lazily lift your head. Your eyebrows furrowed.

“Jacob?” You say in surprise.

His dark orbits seemed to swallow you and strip you hard.

It was hard to explain.

It was like you were exposed to him. Your mind, your body, your soul, all of it was exposed.

His throat bobbed as he swallowed. His brow knitted as if he had a lot on his mind.

He then moves forward, plopping down next to you on the steps.

“You haven’t been coming around.” He spoke.

You don’t say anything as you noticed the smell of him filled your nose. It was great. It made your heart beat an extra beat.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Not yes.” You whispered as you stared at your knees.

“I apologize on behalf of Rachel.”

“Yeah, no it’s fine. She had no idea we were even dating…She’s nice. It’s just that Paul lied and then came over here and broke things off like…Like a dickhole.”

“Yeah…You know, she asked about you.”

“Oh, really?” You crack a small smile.

“Yeah,” he spoke and he paused for a second, “I know that you’re hurt, as you should be, but you don’t have to hide away.”

You nod in understanding.

“So. Tell me. What do you say about coming to a bonfire with me tomorrow night?”

“Jacob-”

“Just hear me out. The very second you want to leave, I’ll follow your lead.”

You sighed as you watched a car drive past. You could tell that they were an inexperienced driver as they rode past.

“Fine.” You whispered.

“Cool.” He smiled. He didn’t leave right away.

You both sat there in silence. The wind did a lot of the talking but that was okay.

You intake a small breath as you look over at him.

“You wanna come inside?” You whispered. You clench your jaw as you felt like it was too strong, too desperate, too-

“Yes.”

Oh.

“Okay.” You rise up.

You both sat on the couch. It caught you off guard when he scoot very close to you. You both were bunched.

He looked around once, then back at you, eyes soft.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He says.

You shook your head.

“I’m fine it’s just..He moved on so fast.”

Jacob nodded slowly, his gaze dropping to his hands. “Yeah. I know how that feels.”

You tilted your head slightly. “You do?”

He gave a short, humorless laugh, “Yeah. Guess you could say I got the heartbreak syndrome. Bella Swan was kind of… My undoing for a while.”

You blinked, taken aback, “Oh wow.”

“Yeah,” he said, leaning back with a sigh. “I loved her. Thought I could change her mind, thought maybe she’d see me one day the way I saw her. But she never did. She chose someone else and I had to just… Swallow it. Pretend it didn’t break me.”

His voice was low, steady, but you could feel the ache in it.

“I’m sorry you went through that…Thank you for confiding with me.”

Before he left, you both went in for an awkward hug. Only for it to not be awkward at all.

He mushed you against him as you relax into his hold.

“I’ll come by so be ready okay.”

“Okay.” You muffled against him.

You felt nervous the whole day leading up to the time he was supposed to be picking you up. You dressed extra slowly.

Your stomach was in a thousand knots.

The knock on the front door made you drop your phone with a clatter. Your heart pounded as you picked it up and walk to unlock and open the door.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You look really nice.” He smiled.

“Thanks.” You whispered.

He takes your hand and you both walk to his car.

“This is you?” You ask impressed.

“Yeah. Fixed her up. You’ll be the first one to ride in it.”

You smile a bit.

As he drove, you glance over at him with a grin before looking out of the window.

The drive to the beach was quick but nice. You kept glancing over at Jacob. He was so kind. Just a ray of light. His easy going personality leaked onto you. You found yourself smiling while he parked in the beach lot.

“Can I hold your hand?” He whispered after he opened the door for you.

“You want to hold my hand?” You ask.

“Yes.”

“Oh…Okay.” You whispered. He takes your hand gently and his hold relaxed into yours. You glance down, noticing it was a nice fit. He was so warm.

He walked with you down to the beach.

Your eyes nervously scope the beach. So far, you saw people bouncing back and forth a volleyball.

Leah ran over. Her short hair blowing in the wind. She lifts you into a hug. You hug her back but you missed Jacob’s hold on your hand.

“My mom cooked.”

“Cool.” You chuckled. She holds your hand and leads you to the table. You both were alone.

“Hand holding?” She starts off rubbing her shoulder against you. It made you chuckle.

“He’s nice.”

“Real nice.”

“Shush.”

“Look, it is nice. I’m not trying to be funny.” She smiled.

“Well…Thanks, then..”

You look over and see him glancing over. There was something about his stare. It was like he watching you in a protective manner. Like you were the only thing in the spotlight.

You look back over to Leah.

Leah was looking at something, well glaring rather.

You follow her gaze and it’s Paul arriving with Rachel. They idled as he cupped her face, kissing her repeatedly. Her soft giggles were faint.

You swallowed as that’s what he used to do with you. You knew exactly what she was feeling.

Lucky her.

“Just have a good time. Okay?” Leah pleaded.

You nod.

You lost your appetite.

Walking over to Jacob, you felt like he was your safe place. He was sitting on a fallen log, watching the waves.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” You speak back.

“You alright?”

“Yeah.”

He snorts a bit as he looked at the waves.

“What?”

“You can be honest, you know. You’re not going to get crucified for telling the truth.”

“I know.” You look down at the sand.

You both sat there.

“What are you doing around this time tomorrow?”

You look at him to see if he was serious. He was.

“Um…Probably…Nothing.”

“Good. We can do nothing together.”

You chuckled softly, “Okay.”

He reaches for your hand and holds it. The nice feeling came back. You found yourself smiling a bit.

“You should eat.”

“Lost my appetite.”

“You really going to let that affect your night?”

You don’t say anything.

“Come on.” He pulls you up to a stand.

You both walked through the sand. You felt invisible while he held your hand. He walked confident and it rubbed off on you.

Something strange happened. The elder’s judging eyes flicked down to you and Jacob’s hands and softened them. They turned kind.

It was like night and day.

At the table, you held a plate while he piled food on.

“I’m not going to be able to eat all of that.” You softly exclaim.

“I’m not letting you sit there and eat bird bites.”

“You’re trying to stuff me.”

“Whatever you don’t eat, you can feed it to me.” He winked. A pit hit your stomach as you smile at that.

“Excuse me.” A hardened but familiar voice made you freeze up. It snapped you out of the moment.

“What do you need?” Jacob asked without missing a beat.

“I’m trying to get something to drink. You’re both in the way of the cooler.”

You move but it’s closer to Jacob.

You see Paul take a sharp look at you two. He bends before grabbing two things of something to drink.

He silently walks back to Rachel. She finds your gaze and waves with a friendly smile. You wave back.

You’d meant to keep your distance, to play it casual, but Jacob’s hand brushed against yours once and then again. By the third time, his fingers slipped between yours like it was the most natural thing in the world.

You stiffened.

“Relax,” he murmured, smiling, “I’m just keeping your hands warm.”

“You’re like a walking furnace.” you say, trying to sound unbothered.

“Exactly,” he teased, “I would be selfish not to share the heat.”

Paul sat beside Rachel, a few logs away, one arm draped around her shoulder. But his jaw was tight, his posture stiff. His eyes, though, they were fixed on you.

Jacob noticed instantly.

“Don’t look,” he murmured, leaning in close enough that his breath brushed your ear.

You tried to steady your breathing, but the nearness of him wasn’t helping.

“I’m not looking.”

He chuckled softly, low and warm. “Good. Because I’m much better to look at.”

You elbowed him lightly, but he caught your hand before you could pull away, threading your fingers together again and this time, he didn’t let go.

Paul’s eyes darkened.

Sitting close to each other, you and Jacob’s knees brushed. You both ate.

You fed him grapes before it turned into a game. You both were laughing so hard as you couldn’t believe he could catch the grapes you tossed in the air.

He suggested a walk along the waves.

It was like standing at the edge of something terrifying and beautiful.

“I’m really glad you came.”

“Yeah, me too.” You smile as you crossed your arms against the breeze.

Paul, from a distance, wondered what you two were off to the side, talking about. He couldn’t hear good over the loud waves. It frustrated him to the max.

“Screw it, I’m going to come out and say it. I want to see more of you.”

“You do?” You ask in surprise at Jacob’s claim.

“Yeah..Hopefully…It could turn into…Something more.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready.” you whispered.

“That’s okay,” Jacob said, “We’ll take it slow. I’ll go wherever you need me to.”

The sincerity in his voice made your throat tighten.

Seth had came to fetch you two. Story time was starting.

It was the same stories as before. This time, you ignored the burning gaze that was shot at you through the fire.

You felt yourself be uncomfortable at this so you scoot and lean closer to Jacob. He wrapped a protective arm around you.

When you looked up at Jacob, eyes bright with affection, Paul nearly lost control of his breathing. He’d seen you in love before with him.

He knew every small sign. The way you tilted your head when you listened, the way your eyes lit up.

Now, you were doing all of that with Jacob.

Jacob leaned closer, whispering something that made your lips curve in that tender, dizzy smile of yours.

Paul’s nails bit into his palms. Rachel leaned her head against his shoulder, content, unaware of the battle inside him. He didn’t even move. He couldn’t. All he could do was stare at what he’d given away.

When Jacob brushed his thumb along your cheekbone, you didn’t flinch away. You leaned into it.

Paul saw everything. The soft look in your eyes, the quiet awe in Jacob’s. His pulse thundered.

The world around him dimmed until all he could see was the two of you framed by firelight, falling into each other the way he used to know.

Then Jacob did something small, simple. He bent his head and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

Paul stood abruptly, the log behind him toppling with the motion. Heads turned. His jaw flexed as if he wanted to say something, to shout, to demand the night rewind itself.

Instead he muttered something to Rachel. Something about needing air and stalked away from the light, his footsteps rough on the sand.

When story time was over, Rachel came over and actually gave you a hug.

“Hey!” She smiled.

“Hey.” You smiled back.

“I was just telling Jacob I would like to get to know you more. You should come down to the house sometime.”

You felt Jacob’s hand intertwine with yours. You felt your heart warm up.