#l ramble

I just spent twenty minutes watching 4 minutes worth of movie cause I was note taking, some of it was transcribing but oof

I swear if my hyper fixation switches from DC (mainly Jason Todd) to Star Wars (kind of not fully, I still need to rewatch the particular movie I fixated on but I have to wait to rewatch it) to The Witcher (really mainly just Jaskier) I'm gonna be angry

Me every single time I watch something with my family (mainly Dad who doesn't understand how to search things efficiently despite working in it): Now I remember why I never watch anything with people or on the tv

It makes really annoyed when in fanvids for this one fandom they take this scene between two characters and then the change it to one of the characters and whoever they choose to pair her with instead of the person she is originally with in that scene. Like no don't manipulate a scene between my ship that's a rare pair to prop up your more popular ship (that I also ship usually). Also that is one of their first scenes together and it gets paralleled later in the series so no I will not stop talking about them. She fake smiles at him and then he's like "I'll remember this for the future" (because was not expecting the reaction she had) and then he sees her fake smile later (at a time her in the past would have been elated by) and notes to himself that her smile isn't real. First scene I mentioned his reflection is in her eyes and in the second she is reflected in his. Listen I am a SUCKER for only one to realize that the person is fake smiling and the one fake smiling being a pairing, like I cannot resist. Plus this pairing also has moving on from the past, bettering yourself (mutually and individually), and a couple of other things I really love

The only things keeping me functioning are also holding me back🙃

Literally if anything good pops up today I'm going ayyyy birthday treat (especially if fics update)

Roxanne said she didn't want to lose Cyrano a second time and then he dies in her arms, she lost both of the men she loved because of the same war. Christian in the battlefield and Cyrano having his old injury act up and kill him. She never truly got a chance to be happy with either of them. No time to love either of them as she would have wanted to, and neither man got to love as himself properly before they died. I'm just gonna find somewhere to cry (not really cause it's 1:15 and I need to sleep cause I got stuff to do tomorrow)