#kyuwook

Sighing, inconsolable, Ryeowook tossed the phone on the bed, before letting his back fall on it as well. Cautiously, he looked at the ceiling, lulled by the distant waves crashing against the shore. He loved the smell of the sea permeating the air, it made him feel nostalgic but also satiated, as if he were able to wholly reconnect with parts of himself that were past forgotten, maybe buried. Oh how much needed was one of Kyuhyun’s tight hugs right now?

Tired, Ryeowook closed his eyes, acknowledging that sleep was about to take over, when he heard a soft knock on the door which drove him to spring up and skip all the way across the bedroom.

Quickly grasping the handle, he twisted it so to open the door. In his mind there was nothing but a mix of words that wouldn’t make any sense as he didn’t quite know how he would have greeted Kyuhyun yet. Would he be ragingly angry still? Or more relieved to see him finally back, into his arms where he belonged? Ryeowook couldn’t really tell.

What he could say for sure was that he couldn’t be any more aware of his disappointment completely bared on his face, when he noticed that the person on the other side of the door wasn’t Kyuhyun.

A kid with messy, blond curls and the sun-kissed skin showing from his baggy shorts and tank top was smiling in front of Ryeowook, who looked terrified as he didn’t know how to politely tell the kid to go away and leave him alone.

Thankfully, there was no need to get lost in useless words, because the kid simply motioned forward as he reached out to Ryeowook and handed him a small piece of paper.

Curiously fiddling with the finely decorated card, Ryeowook spotted a neat handwriting that he immediately recognised as Kyuhyun’s. His heart immediately swelled as he took in a deep breath of relief. Perhaps plotting things he could hardly understand, but at least Kyuhyun was somewhere, alive and breathing, and not at the bottom of a ditch like Ryeowook was beginning to imagine due to the lack of response.

“Shining in the sunlight You’re smiling dazzlingly As I look at your beautiful face I’ve gone blind. Let’s go to the secret island with only each other, Name the first star we meet and stay there.”

“Hey! Where did you get this?” Ryeowook tried to ask the kid, who had already ran away and was nowhere to be seen. The words he had just read were taken from the first verse of one of Kyuhyun’s latest songs: Together.

The lyrics of the song, without even realising it, were summing up that idyllic getaway they had just had on such a beautiful island. And Ryeowook was starting to wonder whether that holiday had been thoroughly planned because inspired by such a song. It wouldn’t make any other sense.

Mentioning the sunshine, summer days idly spent in the company of each other, the moon and the star shining over the secret island… everything was leading Ryeowook to think that impromptu holiday was intricately linked to such a sweet, melancholic song.

“Kyu?” he called from the door, expecting Kyuhyun to show up at his command.

No answer echoed back but the distant chattering coming from the communal living room a few floors below.

Pushed by the curiosity of investigating further into the matter, Ryeowook sighed before he bravely stepped outside the room. Warily walking down the marbled corridor, he reached the stairs whose polished, wooden banister he gripped as he peeped down through the spiral of steps leading downstairs.

“Hey! Wait there!” Ryeowook called out loud, startled a bit as he caught a glimpse of the kid holding his head up high to look at him. Their eyes briefly met. With a mischievous grin, the kid chuckled rather loudly before running even faster downstairs.

Defeatedly sighing, Ryeowook decided to completely entrust his faith in the hands of said kid and – even though with a little caution – followed him. Step by step, until he reached the ground level and much to his surprise found the little kid waiting for him by the closed door.

“Okay, stop there now,” Ryeowook demanded, not without stopping to take a longer breathe, while he attentively eyed the kid who seemingly couldn’t stay still. He swung quite excitedly in that manner kids do when they are involved in a game of hiding stuff from adults.

Ryeowook approached him carefully, a bit too scared he might have taken off anytime with each of his steps forward, however that didn’t happen. The kid giggled hard as he extended his thin arm towards the older man and gave him another card, similar to the one he was handed before.

This time, though, the kid didn’t run away for his life like he had done before.

Greedily, almost excited to read from Kyuhyun again, Ryeowook made peace with his heart as he was expecting yet another absurd hint to who-knew what kind of treasure hunt that was, possibly one that led him to Kyuhyun himself.

He carefully read the card in his shaky hands, sighing at the end, once he was done.

“You know, we’ll stick together, Below the sunlight, Forever, Let me shake it shake it for summer There is only you in my eyes I’ll be your refreshing raindrops in our hot summer memories, Every single day with you I just want to be happy. Swimming in the deep blue Ocean The two of us, the two of us whisper, This love is too overwhelming for me Even time has stopped. Holding your hand in the glow of sunset, I want to shout like a fool, I love you,”

The door creaked open, letting the blinding sunlight through. Ryeowook had to actually raise a hand to shield his eyes from the too luminous light that was otherwise bathing the broad hall… and himself.

The kid chuckled one more time before running into the light, escaping once more all the questions to those riddles that Ryeowook had wanted to ask him so much.

Suddenly – and totally unexpectedly – the song whose lyrics Ryeowook had just read on those two separate cards started playing. A mellow voice he was so used to listen to almost daily was enunciating those words that rang more like a never ending promise than the simple lyrics of a love song.

Squinting his eyes to adjust them to the warm sunset colours coating every corner of what would have been the luxurious greenery of the gardens, Ryeowook’s jaw dropped in awe as he spotted Kyuhyun and his signature slippers standing at the very end of a soft carpet covered in white daisies.

“Kyuhyun,” Ryeowook’s lips trembled, his heart was doing some somersaults in his chest. At least Kyuhyun was safe and sound, he realised, before his earing could be completely embraced by the chorus of the song that his partner was performing. For Ryeowook only.

“You know, we’ll stick together, Below the sunlight, Forever, Let me shake it shake it for summer”

Kyuhyun sang, not without the hint of nervousness staining otherwise perfectly pitched notes. To minimise his embarrassment, Kyuhyun lightly shook his body in a small dance, only to wish he had never done such a move because he would just result more awkward. However, Ryeowook’s bright chuckle reassured him.

Kyuhyun sang their holiday, their Love, and promised – through those words – that he would always be there to bring solace to Ryeowook’s long, tiring days or add a bit more spice to their future adventures.

“There is only you in my eyes I’ll be your refreshing raindrops in our hot summer memories, Every single day with you I just want to be happy.”

The chorus ended, but Kyuhyun still stood across Ryeowook, as if put on a hold… waiting for something more to happen. The blond kid reappeared from behind the man, tugging Kyuhyun’s white trousers to catch his attention. Too bad Kyuhyun had eyes only for Ryeowook and almost forgot the last step of that last-minute stage.

He fiddled with his pocket and took another card out of it, which he entrusted to the kid, asking him to take it to Ryeowook.

Furrowing his brows in sweet confusion, Ryeowook noticed how tense Kyuhyun looked. The fact that he hadn’t said anything else after completing the song was a detail that made him feel uneasy as he couldn’t understand the reason for such a game. Not to mention that his boyfriend had dared go missing for the whole length of the morning, contributing to make Ryeowook inconsolably sad first, then dead worried, passing through shades of ragingly fury that didn’t quite match with his soft facial features at all.

The kid stepped on the carpet of white daisies to reach Ryeowook. His job as love messenger ended as soon as he saw Kyuhyun’s card safe and sound in Ryeowook’s hands. After that, he quickly ran back inside the building, diving his face flat into Maria’s skirt.

Confused, Ryeowook watched as the lady stood in the hall, reciprocating the look which showed curiosity and a hint of happiness, while she motioned for him to read the content of the card.

Trembling, Ryeowook did as instructed and read the new scribbles.

“I know I lack many things, but not my love

I’ll look out and take care of you

Will you promise me just one thing?

No matter what happens

We’ll always love each other.. That’s all.”

Kyuhyun’s handwriting at the back of the card was already making Ryeowook quite emotional as it was, since he very well grasped those lines to be the final verses of their song: Marry U.

After countless times – years, actually – that Ryeowook had found himself involved in other people’s weddings as the featured singer, singing that vow of love to other couples and wishing them all the best, Ryeowook couldn’t but affirm that those words were now engraved in his mind, other than heart.

“Open it,” Kyuhyun incited, looking anxious and trepidant while watching Ryeowook carefully taking a look at the card, not really knowing what to do with it. Until he did what he was told and loudly gasped, completely at loss for air as he read: “Will you marry me?”

The final verse of the song.

One question that usually other people were replying to, Ryeowook had never imagined he could be hearing (or reading) it directed to himself one day. No one had told him there was the slight possibility for becoming someone else’s significant other, no one had properly instilled in him thoughts or ideas – fantasies – on what his love life could have been in the future. No one… but Kyuhyun was there, doing exactly that now.

Kyuhyun was always there whenever Ryeowook was feeling down, tired and demotivated. Whenever he felt like the weight of the whole world was crushing against his weak shoulders. Through hurt and tears and phases of his life when all he had wanted to do was taking the easier road and hate on himself, when dreams – oh, such ephemeral concepts when your life was minutely scheduled to the second – were nearing to become the bridge leading him to give up everything that he had built so far.

Kyuhyun was there all the way through. The man, his best friend-turned lover, was the missing link, the only one to show him the way to satiate his hunger for humanity, how to enhance his genuine naivety to levels of the same selfless love and care he would show everyone daily: his members, his family, fans around the world and everyone who worked in the showbiz alike.

“Ryeong?” softly, Kyuhyun called his name, interrupting the train of thoughts that was briefly crossing the other man’s mind.

Ryeowook sniffed silently, blushing hard as his armour fell apart, allowing him to even forget what the initial reason for his anger towards Kyuhyun was. His silly boyfriend had spent precious hours away from him only to be able to gift him with a much more unique experience: a lifetime together.

Taking unwavering steps – the firmest he’d ever walked, really – Ryeowook reached Kyuhyun across that blanket of flowers scattered on the ground. When he stood just one breath apart from Kyuhyun, Ryeowook’s teary eyes met the other man’s, that shone brighter than two stars, and allowed himself just a couple more seconds to open up in a genuine, beautiful smile.

“What do you think I’d say?” Ryeowook asked, keeping the message open onto the burning question.

“I-“ Kyuhyun began to say, stopping just the right amount of time to fish something else from his pocket. He opened his hand under Ryeowook’s nose and showed him the two golden rings resting in his palm and now shining brightly under the warm sunlight. “See, I really hope you say yes, or I would need to give these back,” he clumsily added, while Ryeowook’s state of awe was completely taking over at that point.

Raising on his tippy toes, Ryeowook wrapped Kyuhyun’s neck with his arms and drew him closer. Their eyes were focused on each other as if they were the only thing that mattered in the entire universe. Time didn’t mean anything anymore. For what they knew, it had stopped running, stilling in one definite moment that they would remember forever.

“I do,” Ryeowook pronounced, using a kiss to seal his promise in return. Now and for sixteen more year, until forever.

“Not at all,” Kyuhyun innocently batted his eyelashes and shrugged “I’m just madly in love with you and would like to take you to a nice place to spend some time together before going back to work,”

Carefully taking a look at the two tickets bound to Naples, Ryeowook stalled a bit, not really knowing what to say except for: “How long ago have you planned this out?”

It was clearly some kind of a mastermind’s plan, especially if Kyuhyun had bothered double-checking their schedules and making sure that they matched.

“Hmm, not too long ago, in fact a couple months, maybe?” Kyuhyun replied.

“The flight is leaving in one hour, Kyuhyun. The Gate is B-17,” the manager walked to the youngest member and explained.

Ryeowook threw a side glance to the manager before muttering: “You knew everything?”

The manager looked rather tired and simply rolled his eyes: “Of course, you know how tiresome Kyuhyun might be whenever he plans something. So, please, for the sake of my mental health, just move to the gate and enjoy your honeymoon, or he might come back home even crankier than before,” the man told about Kyuhyun, disregarding that he was in the presence of said member. Kyuhyun scoffed, highly offended for being accused to be cranky.

Sighing, Ryeowook stood up, knowing he had no room for debating about how he had rather been informed beforehand, instead of being highjacked onto a different flight out of whim.

“Let’s go then,” he said, grabbing his carry-on and slipping his free hand into Kyuhyun’s as he quietly moved towards the nearest lift.

Always quite independent, Kyuhyun had never followed anyone as he was now following closely Ryeowook, looking like a happy puppy wagging its tail after his owner. The two younger members of the group didn’t even bother to say goodbye to the elders, while they went on their own way, the excitement that had been visible on Kyuhyun’s radiant face was now flowing in Ryeowook’s veins too as he didn’t expect the sudden surprise travel. Usually, he would have better liked to know these things in advance, however he couldn’t not sympathise with Kyuhyun’s own excitement at the idea of spending some more time together and privately.

Lately they were always overworked and sticking to ridiculously long schedule that deprived them of their natural and physical wellbeing, literally leaving no room for secret dates or hanging out at the dorms like they were used to. As sad as it sounded, they were just too exhausted to enjoy themselves anymore.

Therefore when Ryeowook caught a glimpse of how brightly Kyuhyun’s eyes were shining at the idea of spending a couple of days completely alone and detached from what was their usual routine, he felt automatically and joyfully involved in the adventurous spirit of this secret getaway.

Even sitting on the low cost plane, where no one knew who they were, next to each other and indulging in a sweet hand-in-hand was felt as completely right, opposed to the sort of danger that would haunt the both of them if they weren’t careful with their fanservice back at home.

Because, individually, Kyuhyun and Ryeowook had never been particularly clingy throughout their lives, however when it came to each other, they were aching to be touchy. It wasn’t done as a show-off, rather an intimate and unspoken agreement that they had in order to check in with the other.

A light squeeze of the arm, fixing each other’s hair, wiping off some sweat during practice or plucking out something stuck in the lashes… these were just a few of the motions that the two lovers would usually find themselves to do and it was automatic, almost relieving knowing that one had the other’s back and vice versa.

However it happened that many of these intimate moments would naturally develop into something even bigger – linking arms together, a hug, even a shy kiss on the cheek – and although their fans liked to witness the skin-ship, Super Junior’s staff was almost always on the verge of a heart attack as Ryeowook and Kyuhyun knew better than to give into their natural need to be physical in front of millions prying eyes.

“Our destination is not really Naples though,” Kyuhyun leaned to his left side, showing a guide book to Ryeowook, who looked curious and so very interested to know more of his boyfriend’s plans “Ever since I heard of Capri in a documentary I’ve thought this is the perfect destination for us to disappear between the tourists and enjoy ourselves,” he explained, pointing at what looked like a various array of activities to do and things to see.

Ryeowook’s eyes shone in surprise as he quickly scanned all the bright pictures in the book: the sea looked astonishingly beautiful in the brochure and the food was absolutely mouth-watering. But in particular, all the bright colours that were typical of the Mediterranean scene looked absolutely awesome in that book, Ryeowook had to literally brace himself as his heart beat faster and faster at the idea of spending some quality time in a small isle that was considered to be a local gem.

“Thank you,” Ryeowook whispered, overlapping his hand on Kyuhyun’s and letting his fingers slip through the man’s in a sweet hold. Kyuhyun looked at their hands before turning to Ryeowook and placing a kiss on his head: “Anytime,” he softly answered, finally conscious that, as they sat for that short-haul flight to Southern Italy, the two of them were finally unknown to the world and could behave like two fools in love.

And this truly happened. Because Kyuhyun and Ryeowook had never felt as carefree and in love as during that little getaway.

For them, Capri was an explosion of colours and smells. With its signature lemon orchards nearing the steep, narrow streets where bands of kids freely played often bare foot; the rose gardens that could be spotted wildly growing behind the decadent ruins of a multiple storey-building that had happened to be the abode of a fallen Count in the past; the sapphire blue waves smoothly embracing the sea stacks; or the pungent smell of seafood freshly fished by old men who had followed nothing else but the call from the sea for their entire life.

These were just a few of the numerous wonders that had helped the two singers to re-ignite the flame of their mutual feelings. Nothing else would matter if one were to live without the other, however everything would be enhanced to the full potential, were they both together and enjoying each other’s company. No one could understand this concept better than Kyuhyun.

One night Kyuhyun was deep in thought while he was sitting in the large, pebbled courtyard of the rustic bed and breakfast accommodation he had found, a newly refurbished manor that counted a good bunch of bedrooms decorated in the old-fashioned yet luxurious Borbone style, that belonged to an old lady who took pride in her possession and wanted to share it with travellers from all over the world.

She was right. It would have been a pity if she hadn’t opened the doors to her house to people who sought a bit of calm in a corner of paradise like that one. Intently looking at the star-quilted sky, too bad that Seoul didn’t offer the same view due to the pollution, Kyuhyun didn’t even realize he was gaping so hard in the silence of the night until creaky footsteps wonkily approached him from afar and stopped just behind him.

“Why so deep in thought?”

Startled, as his train of thoughts was interrupted, Kyuhyun turned around only to find Maria, the old lady, squinting her eyes at him as she offered a wrinkly smile.

Despite being left alone after losing her whole family, Maria was still lively and active and worked as the main cook of the household so to brighten up everyone’s days with her delicious dishes cooked the traditional way: lots of freshly sourced ingredients, seasoned by a pinch of love and happiness.

She had also worked very hard to learn a bit of English which – although not polished or nearly perfect – allowed her to communicate with her guests. Like she had been doing with Kyuhyun for the past few days.

He smiled back, strangely reassured by the presence of the granny, and patted his hand onto the cushions of the couch where he was sitting on, silently inviting the woman to have a seat with him.

“Where’s your friend?” she asked again, sitting down and smoothing the apron that was safely guarding her sleeveless dress from stains and dirt.

“He’s sleeping,” Kyuhyun replied with a sigh, resorting to what little English he had gathered in his mind from the past – futile – lessons the company had offered him over time.

The lady nodded, acknowledging the reason why he had met Kyuhyun all by himself. Usually he would always be seen with Ryeowook by his side and it took very little to the whole amount of strangers and backpackers populating that house to label them as a very cute couple. Regardless of their status as celebrities, they were still regarded as a good-looking and pleasant couple to the eyes of unknown people.  

With a deep sigh that conveyed stress and frustration, Kyuhyun turned to the lady and without even knowing why, he blurted: “You know, he’s not my friend. I mean, he’s also my friend but not only,”

The lady looked at him deeply in the eyes, finding in them a mix of feelings that she could hardly label: exhaustion, anxiousness, but also the thrilling excitement and freedom he must have felt soon after revealing such truth.

“I know,” she nodded again before bringing both hands over her own chest and mumbling one word: “Lovers,”

Uncertain about what reaction to show, Kyuhyun could only still in place and let his mouth ajar to convey shocked surprise. He would have deemed the granny too traditionalist to even notice such a fundamental difference between a mere friendship and the one connection he had to Ryeowook, however he could now understand what everyone said about elderly people and how cunning at grasping hints they could be. His own mother wasn’t as old as Maria, but she could understand quickly enough when Kyuhyun’s feelings for Ryeowook had changed. Perhaps even before Kyuhyun could realise it. However that must have been just a motherly instinct.  

“Look,” Maria fiddled with the big pocket on the front of her apron and took out a few, black and white pictures. In all of them a fairly tall, black-haired man was seen by the side of a young, beautiful girl, who smiled contentedly as if the camera had managed to depict one single second of ever-lasting happiness with that shot.

“My husband, Luigi,” she explained, brushing a calloused thumb across the surface of the thin, fragile-looking, old picture “My family didn’t like him, we ran away for love,”

Struck at the idea of two teenagers eloping for the sake of their feelings for each other, Kyuhyun tried to imagine this alternative scenario in which he would run away from the spotlight of celebrity with Ryeowook, willing accomplice of such a plan.

“I can’t run away with him, at least not where I come from,” Kyuhyun briefly explained. Quickly saddened by the realisation of how impossible that could be, he then couldn’t hold back another deep sigh of resignation. Too much was the burden of responsibility he felt towards Super Junior, their fans and also the job he loved to do. Everything – including their safety – would be jeopardised and Kyuhyun couldn’t say if that was any worthy a try. He would probably still be able to face the press with his head up high, but he wasn’t so sure about Ryeowook and how hurt he could be if continuously targeted by malicious comments. Shaking his head, Kyuhyun decided it was best not to taste said scenario.

“Maybe not, but you can always marry him,” she insisted, making Kyuhyun scoff in that signature way of his that made him sound like he was indeed tired of repeating himself.

“I understand it’s not easy, but I feel your frustration,” Maria told him, fiddling some more with the big pocket from which she fished two thin golden rings that she held in her hand with such a care and devotion Kyuhyun had never seen before: “Take these and promise him your love. Like me and Luigi did,”

Warily, Kyuhyun waited a bit before taking the two thin bands: “I… can’t,”

“We never had a proper wedding either,” Maria revealed. She then pointed straight ahead, where the old lighthouse was lit and operating to show the way home for the boats in open sea: “It was a hot, summer night like this one. There were many stars in the sky when we walked along the shore to the lighthouse. He showed me the rings and I understood what he wanted to do,”

“Things like these don’t require anyone’s approval. And that’s the beauty of love,” Maria patted Kyuhyun’s back, aiming to comfort him like she would have done to her own grandson “That’s… amore,” she then added, with that funny yet heart-warming Southern accent that was making her sound even wiser.

“Thank you,” Kyuhyun mumbled, quickly hugging Maria to show her gratefulness. A that point, his own heart was beating so fast it was about to explode at the idea of doing such a silly thing as marrying Ryeowook in that unofficial but characteristic way. It was the only one. Something totally needed to ease his own concerns about this long-lasting, secret relationship that he entertained with Ryeowook and whose nature no one had to know.

He quickly glanced up high towards the tall walls of the building, focusing on the one shutters of the dark bedroom where he knew Ryeowook was peacefully sleeping. They were staying on the beautiful isle one more day, that time had to be enough to organise something worthy to take Ryeowook’s breath away.

Fast imagining his boyfriend’s cute, surprised expression – or at least he hoped that could be it – Kyuhyun gulped down to ease all his worries and stash them away where nothing else could have had poked them alive anymore.

With the two rings rolling in his sweaty hold, he climbed the marbled staircase up to his bedroom. There Kyuhyun’s heart beat even faster when his eyes landed on the curled lump that was Ryeowook, serenely asleep and enveloped in the thin bed sheets. Sighing, profoundly inspired by his feelings, Kyuhyun decided to take a seat at the desk. Intently scribbling down a few sentences on several different pieces of paper, he tried hard to convey with exact words how meaningful Ryeowook was to him. How special and right their Love was.

Chapter 3

“I don’t,” Kyuhyun simply answered, making Ryeowook stir in the hug so now he was propping himself on his hand while taking a good, puzzled look at Kyuhyun, doing it so he could perhaps detect the authenticity of his lover’s words.

“You… don’t?” Ryeowook asked again, confused “Why?”

Kyuhyun blinked several times as he looked down at Ryeowook, quickly blurting out: “I’m sorry, Ryeong, but why would I re-think sixteen years of my life spent with you, my best friend and lover?”

“B-because-“ Ryeowook blushed hard, looking even cuter as he fumbled with a way of expressing himself “I sometimes look at you during your tv shows, surrounded by pretty ladies all fawning about you and your amazing skills and-“

“And you should be thankful I don’t want to be with any of them but you!” Kyuhyun exclaimed, almost in shock after hearing Ryeowook sharing such a stupid insight that was coming from his insecurity. After all those years… Ryeowook should have known better than question their mutual feelings.

“I am!” Ryeowook pouted, quickly clarifying, the apples of his cheeks were warm and pink under Kyuhyun’s touch, who was cupping Ryeowook’s face in his hands so to direct his boyfriend’s look straight into his own “Don’t misunderstand me, I am grateful about all the years we’ve been together but,”

“I want to hear no buts, Ryeong,” Kyuhyun told him, brushing his thumbs along the other man’s cheekbones “What’s going on in your mind? Do you want to break up with me?!” the younger one worriedly asked because if he had been the first one to pronounce such a scary sentence, perhaps he might have been able to stigmatize it and push the whole idea away too.

Ryeowook was so quick in moving. He freed himself of the hold and pulled a bit away from Kyuhyun, only to punch him on a shoulder, bearing and offended look while doing that.

“Ouch! Ryeowook-ah!” Kyuhyun let out a high-pitched wince while he rubbed his own shoulder to ease the pain. He had to be more careful of his own words, since he knew Ryeowook was quite used in reacting this way whenever he heard something he didn’t really like.

“Cho Kyuhyun, you better stop now!” Ryeowook scolded him, his heart was beating furiously in his chest after hearing Kyuhyun ask such a dumb question. He had no intention whatsoever to break up with his man, mind him.

“Stop what?!” Kyuhyun argued back “You were the first one to talk nonsense!”

“I would never, never break up with you. And if you were considering such a bullshit move, I would never allow you to do so!” Ryeowook told him, brows furrowed as he dove back into Kyuhyun’s arms and rubbed his face against the man’s chest “You’re stuck with me for other sixteen and more years!”

Delighted to be reminded he was in a pretty seriously committed relationship, Kyuhyun giggled in that signature way of his, where his face brightly lit up and his lips were pursed in a narcissistic, smug smirk.

“I’d be happy and honoured to spend the rest of my lifetime with you,” the younger promised, patting Ryeowook’s head “But now, you need to tell me why you were asking that question just before,”

“Sometimes I wonder,” Ryeowook sighed “what our life would be like if we never debuted and therefore never met each other as Super Junior members,”

Adjusting himself next to Kyuhyun, Ryeowook let the other man grasp his hand so that their fingers were slowly intertwining with each other in one firm hold that almost melted Ryeowook’s heart.

“Don’t you think we would have found a way to meet each other?” Kyuhyun asked, his eyes now fixed on what a beautiful, maybe perfect, connection their hands were interlocked in.  

“I don’t know,” Ryeowook shrugged, struck by what optimism Kyuhyun was conveying.

“Me neither,” Kyuhyun replied “But it doesn’t really matter, since I’m pretty sure our lives would have brought us together. You know, I think we are fated indeed,”

Ryeowook’s eyes were glossy with emotional, unshed tears while he listened to his boyfriend being so very sure of his words. And that was the most heart-warming thing someone could have ever told him to reassure him. “Do you really think so?” Ryeowook asked, barely keeping a sniff while he did his very best to hold back the tears.

“Ryeong,” Kyuhyun tilted Ryeowook’s chin while he softly smiled “You bet everything on our friendship right from the start. We are so different from each other, yet we clicked perfectly because you took great care of me when I joined the group. The walls I had built around my heart crumbled because you showed me that there was someone who could love me unconditionally, and even when I wavered in front of my own feelings for you, because I couldn’t admit to myself that I was slowly falling in love with you, you took my hand and walked me down the path to discover myself. This…”

Kyuhyun’s tongue clicked, his lips were suddenly dry as he tried his best to convey calmness. Never once their relationship had faltered. Their feelings were still steady like the first day they had confessed to each other. It was a silly “I love you” that for other people would have just underlined the enormous and reciprocated love the two young boys had felt for each other. Like brothers. Or the best friends they were.

And to be honest, even the both of them had to go to such a length neither of the other truly believed in the meaning of those three, little words. They had just come to age, and like the adults they had become, they had to face so many responsibilities, shape their own personalities to become the best men they could. So, when they stood in front of each other – that one night after the recording of a show – in the dimly lit bedroom they shared in such an overcrowded dormitory that permitted zero to no privacy – Kyuhyun and Ryeowook had to bravely face each other and clarify that that “I love you” was coming straight from their hearts, truly seasoned by the naïve, ticklish fluttering of million butterflies raging in their stomachs, or a rope tugging them in the guts, bringing them closer to accept that their friendship had just shifted into something better, something higher and more valuable. Simply Love.

“This is why I don’t bother thinking of what ifs, there’s no use in thinking of those, Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun closed their distance by resting his forehead against the other man’s, listening to his breaths matching the rhythm of his heart.

“I’d rather think that, regardless of who we are or what we do, even in alternate universes we are still together and much in love,” Kyuhyun breathed, before drawing Ryeowook closer and placing his lips onto his boyfriend’s, to seal that reassurance with a slow, respectful kiss that tasted of so many good memories from the past, but also hid notes of readiness to face the future and all its adventures, together.

“I love you, Kyu,” with a shaky breath, Ryeowook swore against Kyuhyun’s lips, before giving into one more, taking his sweet time to savour the kisses his lover was so good at sharing.

“I know,” Kyuhyun smiled in the kiss, ducking his head a few moments later only so he could part a bit from Ryeowook and look into his eyes. He brought a hand onto the crown of the coal black hair of his lover and begun to caress him with devotion “You’re mine, Kim Ryeowook, and if there were even just one way to make it official with you, I would defy the world to make that happen!”

The smile that appeared on Ryeowook’s lips then was the ghost of sadness.

It wasn’t the first time he heard Kyuhyun talk about wanting to make things official between them, and fate could have also brought them together, however, the odds were just so unfavourable to them as their roles and the narrow-minded society in which they lived couldn’t allow it.

Ryeowook promptly circled Kyuhyun’s neck with both arms, drawing him even closer, wanting to let him feel – skin against skin – that his own heart was crazily beating like the very first time. It would never cease to, if he could avoid it.

“You’re my world, Cho Kyuhyun,” he softly whispered in Kyuhyun’s ear, while the other softly chuckled, moving just the right amount so they could comfortably fall against the pillows once more.

Kyuhyun lifted the sheets and allowed Ryeowook and himself to quietly nestle in the middle of the large bed, one in the arms of the other, when he started humming one of his songs as a lullaby to Ryeowook.

“When I quietly look at you I remember all those countless days,”

Kyuhyun began singing, making Ryeowook shiver as he held his head against the former’s chest, carefully listening to all the notes vibrating through Kyuhyun’s ribcage as he sung the first verses of one of his oldest solo songs: One Confession.

“The mornings and nights that were all about you Now it’s become a habit,”

It was a song dedicated to an unrequited love that could never come to be, however the smaller hints at how the singer – in this case Kyuhyun himself – sung of the sweet memories he had of his lover, the small little things that would remind him of them, were becoming an addictive habit.

And it summed up how Kyuhyun had felt about his relationship with Ryeowook so well.

“I’m getting coloured with you Even your pain is becoming mine Words that I couldn’t bear to say I love you so much that I have to hide those words…”

Ryeowook quietly fell asleep against his boyfriend’s warm body, lulled by the harmonious voice that he loved so much and whose last words unfortunately he couldn’t remember, while he slowly drifted into a dreamless sleep.

Because that love confession that was so hard to express for the singer in the song, due to his love interest not reciprocating his feelings, was even harder for Kyuhyun to voice out. No one could know. No one could judge. Therefore his love – their love – was better covered in lies and hidden from the prying eyes of their audience.

“There will be a day, when we will be able to love each other in the open,” Kyuhyun whispered in the night, as he held his sleeping beauty and kissed him goodnight on the forehead.

Chapter 2