#kylorenxreader

“Shall I start dinner?” You turned to her.

“No, that’s alright. I don’t know when he’ll return. Do get a bottle of red out of the cellar though, please.”

She nodded obediently, and you excused yourself back to the master suite. You laid your coat over the back of a chair, setting your purse and shoes down with it.

More than anything, you wished that Kylo were home. Work was stressful for you both, and you ached to blow off some steam and relax with your lover.

You dimmed the lights, slipping out of your suit and hanging it in the fabulous walk-in closet that you’d been given. You missed Kylo, unable to wait for him as you crossed the floor to the king sized bed. You dropped into the white sheets, reaching into your bedside drawer until your fingers found what you searched for.

You pulled the vibrator out, parting your legs and turning it on. Your head fell back on the pillows as you touched the buzzing head of the wand to your clit, shuddering as you absorbed the stimulation. Your eyes fluttered shut, memories filling your mind of Kylo fucking you in nearly every position imaginable.

Soft moans spilled from your lips as your nerves ignited, the vibrations spreading through your pussy and radiating to your fingertips. You imagined Kylo fucking you, having you draped over the desk in his office, ignoring his work for once.

“Kylo… Kylo, fuck me,” you moaned, arching your back as you came around the pink silicone pressed against your throbbing sex.

.

Kylo came home from a demanding day at the courthouse, to the maid holding two glasses and a bottle of wine.

“Mister Ren, your wife has requested these for you,” she chittered, handing him the expensive drink.

“Thank you. Where is the woman of the house?” He questioned, and she shrugged.

“In your suite, I believe. She’s only just arrived home a few moments before you.”

“Take the rest of the evening off, you deserve it,” he said kindly, earning a meek thanks before she rushed out, as intimidated by Kylo as everyone was.

He took them, walking back to the bedroom to meet you, though he was surprised by the sight of you naked on the bed, masturbating and moaning his name. Kylo’s arousal immediately rushed through him, his suit growing tighter as he stood in the doorway, watching your nefarious activities.

“Enjoying yourself, darling?” His voice startled you out of your post-orgasmic bliss, your eyes snapping open.

“Kylo, you’re home!” You gasped shyly, tossing the toy aside and sitting up.

He crossed the room, setting down the bottle and glasses before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Let me see,” he held your knee, prying your legs apart as you flushed in embarrassment.

You opened your mouth to speak, the words getting lost in your throat as he knelt down between your thighs, his tongue flattening against your soaked folds. Kylo ripped a strangled scream from your lips as he lapped up the mess you’d made of yourself, overstimulating your swollen clit.

Your fingers tangled into his dark curls, pulling hard and writhing beneath him, trying to escape his sinister tongue. Kylo tortured you into bliss, making you cry and scream the name of the lawyer, thrashing in the sheets and pulling his hair. You were panting and trembling as he finally let you go, lying beneath him, out of breath and overstimulated.

“I missed you, Kylo,” you murmured, running your hand over his strong bicep.

“I missed you darling. I’m sorry about the late nights,” he apologized, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple.

You turned, catching him in a real kiss, parting your lips as his tongue slid into your mouth. He smiled into it, making your stomach erupt in butterflies.

He reached for the wine, pouring it into the glasses while you sat up next to him. You took one, smiling as he watched you drink.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You whispered shyly.

“Because I adore you.”

You turned your face into his chest, making the man laugh. He never quite understood how you could be so shy and dainty after committing such sins for him.

The wine soothed your frayed nerves, calming you down from the intense high you were riding. He was eager to get out of his own clothes— and expensive Gucci suit— and join you in nudity.

“I want a proper fuck,” you said, standing as he undressed and walking out to your open balcony, stepping onto the veranda.

He grinned, grabbing the bottle off the small table and following you to the hot tub that rested on the balcony, high enough no one on the ground could see you, but still out in the open, a feature you found arousing.

You pressed a button, making jets and bubbles swirl in the hot water as you sank in up to your shoulders. Another glass of wine later, Kylo’s hands were all over you.

You sat on your husband’s lap, completely naked except for the diamonds in your ears and on your finger. His large hands were groping your breasts, tugging and pinching just to hear you moan and arch off his chest.

“I fuckin’ missed these,” he hissed, kissing bruises onto your throat.

“Kylo, I need your cock,” you moaned, so horny you could hardly contain yourself, trying to grind on his lap.

“Filthy girl,” Kylo teased, gripping your jaw and planting a messy kiss on your mouth.

He pushed you forward, bending you over the edge of the hot tub, your knees on the bench. A jet was positioned to spray directly between your thighs, an intentional choice made by your deviant husband.

Kylo slapped your ass, watching you jolt forward, earning more pressure on the jet. A shudder wracked your body, along with a pathetic whimper that had his cock hardening.

“Please.”

“Please what, darling? Be good and let me play with you a bit longer.”

You dropped your head to rest on your folded arms, your moans muffled as he spanked you a few more times. It was because you’d been touching yourself without his permission, though it was left unsaid. The hints of pain only left more arousal stirring between your hips, riling you to the point of writhing desperation. He turned your ass rosy, dipping his fingers down between your slick folds every few strikes, teasing you for being aroused by the spanking.

You were practically delirious with need, begging Kylo to fuck you, making it harder for him not to give into your demands.

“Shh, shh. I’m going to give it to you, and you’re going to take it all like a good little wife,” Kylo shushed you, wrapping a hand around the column of your throat.

He ground against your curved backside, nearly making you sob before you felt him line up at your entrance. You gripped the edge of the tub, moans silenced by his grip on your throat as he fucked into you in one fluid motion. Kylo was huge in every aspect, splitting you open like the first time even after years of being together. His cock filled your channel, brushing against places that had stars dancing in your vision and electricity sparking through your nerves.

“Daddy,” you whimpered— the endearment making Kylo thrust harder and faster, your hips colliding with the edge. Your back bowed, pushing your chest out further in a display of filth.

The water pressure was constant against your clit, making your thighs shake as Kylo pounded into your cunt. A cigarette hung from his lips as he squeezed your hips with his hands, burying himself fully inside of you as he came. Your scream echoed off the balcony as you tumbled through your third orgasm of the evening, unable to hold back after the feeling of his come being fucked into you. The head of his cock brushed your cervix, hitting deep as Kylo continued with sloppy thrusts. You squealed and wriggled in his arms, unable to stop him as it became too much, the jets on your pussy, him filling you, and come leaning down your thighs, all as you fought for oxygen against his palm squeezing your throat.

“There you go, darling. Taking my cock so well,” he praised, feeling you come against your own will, white-hot and intense.

“Daddy, too much,” you sobbed weakly, shaking in his arms.

“Hush, you’re done,” Kylo swallowed your whimpers as he pulled out, leading you back on his lap away from the jets.

Your head fell back against his shoulder, hands holding his forearms for stability, though Kylo would never let you fall.

He soothed you with gentle kisses to your face, meeting your lips tenderly.

“Let’s wash off and have some dinner. I’m proud of you,” he spoke lowly, helping you out of the hot tub, carrying you to the shower and setting you down on shaky legs.

He allowed you to clean up while he cooked in the marble kitchen, the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up on his forearms. He looked handsome that way, dark hair falling in waves to frame a sculpted face. He smiled up at you as you entered, pulling you into a hug.

“Do you have to go back to the courthouse tonight? To meet your client about the case?”

“No, darling. The ADA is taking care of it. Told them I had to come home to you,” Kylo’s deep voice comforted you as you buried yourself in his chest, arms wrapped around his wide torso.

“You okay?” She questioned facing you slightly. 

You hummed in response, not taking your eyes off the numbers at the top of the elevator.

“There’s a party this weekend.”

Furrowing your eyebrows together in confusion, you glanced at her. “It’s only Monday...How is there a party this weekend already?”

She giggled. “Easily! You would understand if you ever came to one...” Her voice trailed off.

Shaking your head, you let out a frustrated huff quickly exiting the elevator. “I have to go.” 

Not allowing her to respond, the elevator doors shut before continuing their journey.

You couldn’t help the frown that made its way to your lips. Being one of the commanders of the Supreme Lead had quickly become a very taxing job. One that caused you to miss important dates, or events you were invited to. You had thought your friends would understand the pressure you were under, but they just saw it as your excuse for not wanting to be in attendance at events.

“Ah, Commander Y/L/N.” General Hux immediately greeted. “I’m so glad you could finally join us today.”  His voice laced with venom.

Groaning quickly, you knew the Supreme Leader had been in a mood already. General Hux normally took his anger out on you in cases like today, it was rare when a day passed that he didn’t.

“Sorry-”

“Well, get to it.” He spat not sparing a glance your way.

Rolling your eyes, you made your way over to your station. The bridge was filled with an awkward silence. Not one of your co-workers daring to speak a word.

The door opened signaling someone had entered. You already knew who it was without having to turn, just by the sound of his boots hitting the floor.

“Supreme Leader.” General Hux greeted.

“Hux.” He spat. 

It felt like minutes had passed since you first arrived at the bridge, in reality, it was nearing the end of your shift. Frowning, you glanced at the clock seeing the time. You were so close yet so far to finishing your day's work. Shaking your head, you focused on the task at hand.

“What are you still doing here?” An unfamiliar voice questioned from behind you.

Gasping, you jumped. Whirling around, you were face to face with the Supreme Leader.

“S-Supreme-”

“Please, call me Kylo.” He spoke while holding up a gloved hand.

Nodding your head, you nervously cleared your throat. “I...I um I still have work to do.” Glancing around the bridge, you realized you were the only commander left working. 

Seemingly satisfied with your answer, he pulled the chair out beside you before sitting in it. Your jaw was quick to fall slack at his actions.

“What?” He questioned with a raised eyebrow. “Is there something on my face?” Kylo reached a hand up as if to wipe his face.

“No!” You exclaimed, as your hand shot out grasping his wrist preventing his actions. “No.” You giggled nervously, quickly releasing your hold on him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” You challenged.

“Like...” His voice trailed off.

Sighing, you turned your attention back to your work. “I’ve...I’ve never seen you without your helmet.” 

“Oh.”

Humming, you began picking up where you left off. 

Kylo reached over, taking a hold of some papers before placing them in front of him.

“What are you doing?” 

Chuckling, Kylo gazed at you. “I’m helping you.”

His response, took you by surprise leaving you at a loss for words.

As you sat beside each other, you were determined to get to know him, especially since you weren’t sure if there would be another opportunity to arise.

After that day, things shifted between you and Kylo. As time went on, the closer you and Kylo got to each other.

---

Fidgeting with the top of your uniform, you exited your chambers. Glancing up, you were surprised to see Kylo leaning against the wall holding two to-go cups of coffee.

“What-” 

“I figured you’d need your coffee.” He shrugged, pushing off the wall before standing in front of you.

“O-Oh. Uh, thank you.” You spoke, feeling fireworks erupt in yours. 

“Of .” He responded, nodding his head. 

Walking side by side, you stood at the elevator waiting for the doors to open. The conversation between you was light and airy. You were quick to realize just how much you missed your friends.

Stepping into the elevator, a small crowd of people filed in causing you to cozy up next to Kylo. 

“S-Sorry.” You muttered, glancing upwards at him.

“It’s okay..” He spoke grinning at you. “Here.” He shuffled behind you, causing you to absentmindedly lean back into him, his chest pressed to your back.

Heat danced along your cheeks at the intimate position you and Kylo were in. 

“Relax.” He whispered in your ear, as he wrapped his arms loosely around your shoulders while he was careful not to spill his coffee.

Nodding your head, you let out a content sigh molding yourself further into him. 

Exiting the elevator, your hands brushed against one another while neither of you pulled away.

Walking into the bridge, you were greeted with prying eyes. Almost all of your co-worker's eyes were widened at the sight of you and Kylo. Turning to face him, you let out a shaky breath. 

“I...I should get to work.” You motioned towards your area.

Kylo hummed in agreement, before turning to face one of the employees that needed his stamp of approval.

As the day went on, you noticed Hux wasn’t taking his anger out on you and had found someone new to direct it on.

Smiling slightly, you made a mental note to thank Kylo. Once you were finished with your work, the thought of finding Kylo had popped into your mind. 

Standing up, you turned to leave the bridge only to be pleasantly surprised that Kylo was already standing by the door waiting for you.

Grinning at him, you glided towards him. “I.. guess I should thank you.”

“What for?” He questioned smiling down at you.

“For-”

“Y/N! There you are!” Your friend exclaimed rushing towards you and Kylo.

“Oh, I’ve been in here the whole day-”

“Yeah, I know, you’re married to your job or whatever.” She spoke, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, I wanted to invite you to my party tonight.”

“You’re throwing a party?” You questioned tilting your head slightly.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a rager.” 

You pondered your response for a minute. “I’ll go...Only if I can bring Kylo.” You spoke grinning up at the raven-haired man. His features were etched in surprise.

“Huh-” 

Jutting your chin out, you brought her attention to the man in front of you. 

“Oh... OH!” She exclaimed. “ S-Supreme Leader...I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

Kylo let out a chuckle at her response.

“Oh, of course. You’re invited too.” She spoke before quickly rushing out of the bridge.

Giggling you glanced at him.

“Well, we better get back so we can change.” You spoke leading him towards the elevators.

---

Exiting your room, you were once again greeted by Kylo leaning against the wall across from you. Taking in his appearance, you were surprised to see him in casual clothes.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” You grinned at him. He was wearing a pair of black sweat pants as well as a simple white tee.

“I could say the same about you.” He spoke mirroring your grin. “Shall we?” Kylo questioned as he offered you his arm.

Linking your arm through his, you didn’t have far to walk as you were a few rooms down from your friend.

Walking into the party, you immediately felt uncomfortable under the scrutinizing eyes of party-goers.

Feeling your mood shift, Kylo linked his hand with yours intertwining your fingers before he led you towards the drink area.

The stereo was blasting music as you and Kylo passed. The floor shaking slightly as the bass sounded.

“Thanks for coming with me.” You yelled over the music as you and Kylo stood in a corner.

Kylo smiled down at you. “Can...Can I try something?”

You nodded your head in response.

One of his large hands laced itself in your hair, while the other landed on your hip. Tugging you closer he closed the space between you. Leaning down he pressed his forehead against yours making your breath mingle together.

“Can I-”

“Yes.” You breathed out closing your eyes as his nose brushed against yours.

Fireworks erupted in your stomach as Kylo placed his lips on yours. The kiss was short and sweet. Your breath mingling together before you latched your hands in his hair tugging him in for another kiss. Sinking your teeth into his bottom lip, a groan emitted from his throat. The rumble he made could be felt in your chest, as he molded himself further into you.

Pulling away, you rested your forehead against his as you gazed at him. His eyes clouded by lust and admiration.

“Let's get out of here.” 

“Please.” He breathed.

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"Shh. Be quite in the meeting. Keeping going and I'll reward you after. "Kylo spoke softly.

Before you could protest the doors to the room had opened and several had entered and sat down at the large table. Lucky enough you couldn't been seen due to the metal panels on the side of the table. Still your face reddened at the thought of blowing your commander in front of others. You smiled as the meeting began.

"I believe us making this deal would be for the best commander," some officer said to commander ren.

You ran your tongue from his base slowly to his tip. Making sure to suck quietly at the pre cum. You licked kitten licks enjoying his sweet taste. After a moment you grew more confident and took him all in your mouth. Enjoying the twitch of his cock as you did so. You moaned which lucky enough was muffled by his cock stuffed deep into your throat.

You stopped for a minute making sure no one heard. Kylo's hand then reached under the table and pulled your hair. He had most definitely heard you.  Which the idea of Kylo punishing you only made your dripping wet cunt ache. You bobbed your head quickly moving your hand with you as the meeting continued    

You could feel your own wetness running down from your cunt. As you sucked and licked your commander your own hand trailed down pushing your skirt up. Rubbing your clit as you bobbed faster. You wanted so badly to stuff your cunt with his cock.

"That will be all." Kylo said dismissing them all.

After the doors hissed shut kylo pushed his chair back popping him from your mouth. You gasped from the sudden lack of him.

"Did I said you could touch yourself?" Kylo asked as he pulled your arm forcing you back on to your feet.

"nn no commander." You answered.

He stepped towards you blocking you in between him and the table. He lifted you on to the table and swiftly stuffed your cunt with his gloved fingers.

"Who's cunt is this y/n?" He asked as he rammed and curled his fingers into you.

"Yours Kylo." You moaned closing your eyes enjoying the feeling of him.

"Your such a good whore aren't you? can't even suck my cock without touching MY cunt. can you?" His fingers filling you as he pumped them deeper.

You attempted to answer but the swell of cumming on his fingers was starting to become to much.

"You wanna cum for me like the whore you are don't you?" He asked as he sucked on your sweet spot on your neck.

"Yes.. yes commander please let me cum." You pleaded.

"No." He said. He pulled his fingers out of you. You gasped as your orgasm was ripped away from you.

"Kylo!." You yelled.

"Your my whore." He spoke. "MY needy greedy whore and I'm going to fuck you like one."

His lifted you off of the table and placed you down in front of the control panel that over looked the hanger. shoving your face against the glass. You couldn't help but moan as he held your neck in place forcing you to look at the workers below.

"I want everyone to know your mine." He said to you. He ripped your shirt to your uniform pulling the fabric exposing your breast. He pushed you harder against the glass.

"You like that they can see you don't you?" Kylo asked.

Before you could answer Kylo ran his finger through your wet slits.

"Look at you dripping onto my floor from how wet you are." He rubbed slow circles on your sensitive bud. "Do you want me to fuck you here? Let everyone watch as I slam my cock into you?"

"God yes! please commander." You begged.

"Please what?" He snarled as he leaned over the panel flipping a switch.

"Please fuck me in front of everyone Kylo. I want them to see me cum on your cock. Please commander fuck me." You begged louder.

Your voice echoed through the room and hanger. You gasped at the realization that he had turned on the coms. Your gasp however was quickly turned into a moan as he stuffed his hard cock into you.

"Fuck your so tight and wet." He hissed as be bottomed out into you.

He lifted your right leg and placed it high above the panel. Angled deeper into you. Holding onto your hip with one hand, he still held your neck forcing you to watch the workers below you. He slammed his hips up and the slowly pulled his cock further out until he slammed back into you.

Loudly you moaned, your cunt tighting around him as more workers stopped and looked up at the window towards you.

"You like your commander fucking you don't you." He asked.

"yes commander!" You moaned as he stretched you open.

"tell them. Let everyone hear how badly you love my cock. How much of a slut you are for me." He groaned.

You moaned for a second trying to catch your breath.

"I love it commander. I want to be stuffed by your big hard cock all day." you moaned loudly.

"I want you to fuck me and cum in me commander. Breed me like the whore I am." You panted.

"fuck." He whispered.

"Oh commander please let me cum." You begged as he plunged deep into you. The need to cum started to become to much. After being denied early you badly need to cum. You closed your eyes tight trying to wait for him to say you could.

"Look at them." He groaned. "Let them watch you cum on my cock like the whore you are."

You forced your eyes down as he rammed into you. Some workers stood still watching, a few acted like they didn't hear or see you. But one or two palmed themselves while looking up at you as you bounced against his cock. You breast and face pressed firmly against the glass.

"Cum for me. Show them who you belong to!" He yelled slamming against your cervix.

"YOU COMMANDER!" You yelled cumming on him.

You pussy milking him as you came.

"Fuck!" He yelled as he kept fucking you through your orgasm.

"Please cum in me commander. Please. Please commander ren cum in me." You panted over and over like a prayer.

"God damn!" He thrusted his hips. "I love fucking your cunt."

He grabbed your hips holding you against him as he spilled himself at last into you. He held you there as he gave you every last drop. Slowly he pulled out. You couldn't help but whimper as you already missed the feel of him.

Softly he turned you around pulling your uniform back into place sweetly. Once he was done he bent down to the panel.

"Back to work." He barked flipping the coms off.

You turned towards the window to see everyone hurry along as fast as they could.

"Are you alright y/n? "He spoke to you softly turning your head back towards him.

You smiled happily, "Yes commander I couldn't be better."

He kissed your lips gently, "If its to much you just have to say our safe word love."

"I know Kylo. It wasn't to much. I liked it." You giggled resting your head against his forehead.

"I could tell." He laughed.  

"come on my love. Lets go back to out rooms and freshen up." He took your hand into his and lead you back to your joined rooms.

You couldn't help but smile. You loved Kylo and you knew once you got to our rooms that you to were far from done.

   Finn and Han were sprinting through the Starkiller Base headquarters, and Chewie and I were sharp at their heels. Now and then, I would hear the chaotic sounds of blasters firing and people screaming, telling me that there was some sort of brutal attack on the entire base. We raced past dozens of empty rooms, having to conceal ourselves every so often from Stormtroopers rushing to the scene of the chaos. Finn led us through winding corridors and hallways, seemingly knowing where to go, even though it felt like we weren't making any progress in this maze of a base. I was keeping an eye out for the girl I had seen earlier (Rey, I supposed), but at least an hour had gone by, and she had yet to show up.

   The shock of knowing that my squadron was alive, after believing for months that they were all dead, had been replaced with anger. Anger at my own stupidity, anger at my weaknesses, but mostly anger towards Kylo Ren. He had lied to me about everything - and because of that, I was in a completely different situation than I would have been, had I known the truth. My perspective of everything had changed; I realized that, whether General Organa had been searching for me or not, I still owed everything to her. Even if Alavai and Jaxx were dead (which they weren't), I still should have continued to push myself away from Kylo Ren, instead of finding comfort in him. I owed them that much, if not more. And Kylo Ren... I was disgusted with myself to have let him get close to me. He was a large part of the threat on the Resistance, and I had let him touch me, let him walk by my side. I still wasn't sure if what I had felt for him was a part of his control on me or not, but either way, I was horrified that I had ever even spoken with him.

   As we reached the end of the corridor, Finn and Solo pushed themselves against the wall, and I followed. Several workmen jogged by us with blasters at hand, shouting orders to each other.

   "Is that a PLX 2M?!" Solo whispered.

   Finn looked at him confusedly. "How do you know so much about First Order artillery?" he said.

   "I knew a guy who used to sell them in the underground market." Solo replied. "And, boy, what I wouldn't give to have that missile launcher right now..."

   Chewie let out a small cry, holding up his crossbow.

   "Yeah, Chewie, but sometimes you want to put more than just an arrow in someone's gut." Solo rolled his eyes.

   Finn slowly crept to the other wall, followed by the rest of us. Across the room was a large, metal door; through it's window, I could see racks and rows of different weapons. Being a natural rebel, it was a sight for sore eyes, and I was anxious to get my hands on it all.

   "Well hello beautiful..." I mumbled, unable to hide the excitement on my face.

   Solo chuckled. "She sounds more like me than my own son." he said.

   "Ok." Finn said, ignoring our comments. "First things first, we need some better weapons..." He gestured towards Chewbacca's crossbow, "... no offense. Then we need to get the shields deactivated on the base. The rebel squadrons will be coming in pretty soon, and they won't be able to deal any damage if we don't get those shields down first."

   As Finn continued to describe his plan, my attention was locked on someone else. A chrome-clad Stormtrooper marched down the halls towards the weapons room. Their armor revealed their elevated status, along with the cape that draped over their shoulders. Granted, I had no idea who they were - I hadn't seen them on the base, despite having wandered almost the entire thing.

   I tapped Finn on the arm. "That might be our ticket to the artillery room." I whispered.

   "Perfect!" he said. "Alright - Solo, you cut them off by the door - just grab their attention for a second. I'll come up behind with Chewie, and then- "

   Before he could finish, we heard a loud, animalistic cry, followed by a crash. Through the corridor, Chewbacca had thrown himself on top of the high-ranking officer - despite their attempts to throw him off, his weight held them in place. He looked back at us and gave a victorious yell.

   "You idiot!" Finn said, exasperated. "You could have blown our cover!"

   Solo pushed past Finn. "He is an idiot, don't get me wrong. But at least his heart's in the right place."

   Chewbacca let out a defiant cry.

   "Oh- I'm sorry, your highness, thank you very much for taking the initiative in this."

   Chewbacca pulled the officer back up on their feet, and held their arms securely. Finn approached them and glared angrily through their helmet. "We need access to the artillery room."

   "And what makes you think that I would give a band of fleas such intel?" she said calmly.

   "Huh." I stared right through her helmet. "Never thought the First Order would give such a high rank to a woman, given how they treat them."

   She turned her head towards me. "For your information, I earned my rank. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's interest in my skill had nothing to do with my promotion."

   "'For your information', bitch," I held my blaster under her chin, "... Kylo Ren doesn't give a shit about you. He doesn't give a shit about who's behind that helmet. All he cares about his himself. So stop pretending that you're the favorite one here and give us the code to the damn room."

   For a moment, she stared back at me. "You're right..." she finally said. "As I recall it, you were his favorite, actually."

   My cheeks grew hot from her remark. Angry, I hit her across the side of her helmet with the end of my blaster. She recoiled a bit, and her chrome exterior now had a scratch across it from my gun. Han grabbed me by the arms and pulled me away as I tried to slug her once more.

   "Calm down, feisty!" he spun me around and stared at me in the eyes. "We need this thing alive, remember?"

   Chewbacca growled at Solo, pointing at me.

   Han sighed. "I don't know what she meant, and I don't care, ok? This chick has been helping us long enough through the base, so I'm counting on her as our way out."

   Finn spoke up. "What did she mean, you're Kylo Ren's favorite?" he gave me a suspicious look.

   "Oh, she didn't tell you?" the officer spoke again. "For a while now, she's become his pet. He's been keeping her in his chambers and providing protection for her. He even fought my general to keep her out of harm's way. I don't know what information she gave him to change him into her protector, thought it must have been important."

   "I didn't give him any information," I said angrily. "... he said he- well, it doesn't matter what he said, I didn't make him do anything."

   "Sorry girl, but it does matter." Solo looked me in the eyes again. "What did he say to you?"

   My cheeks grew hot with embarrassment. I felt like a child being reprimanded for doing something I shouldn't have. Is he really going to make me say it? "He said... he said he loved me." I mumbled quietly.

   "Huh?" Finn said.

   "He said he loved me!" I responded, a little louder than I wanted to.

   Solo now had a look of disbelief on his face. "And you believed him?! You gullible sack of scrap metal- "

   "Are you kidding me?!" Finn said, and looked like he might vomit.

   "Look, I get it, it's stupid!" I shouted. "You don't understand how dumb I feel for falling for it! I think he was controlling my mind with that dumb force shit, that's why I believed him!"

   Solo ran a hand over his face. "Oh my god, kids these days..."

   "- but I swear, I didn't tell him anything! I didn't give him information, I didn't trade anything for protection... he just, sort of did it. All by himself."

   "Ok, look here, kid." He looked back at me, serious once again. "I don't care what happened. You seem alright to me, and like you've got your senses back. You've helped us so far, so I'll trust you. But so help me, if you step one foot out of line- "

   "I swear, I won't."

   "- you're going to be his dinner." He pointed to Chewbacca, who growled in agreement. "And it's been at least four hours since he's eaten, so he's hungry."

   I looked at Chewbacca, who gave me a rather toothy, yellow grin. "I promise, I won't."

   Solo nodded, satisfied with my answer. "Good. Now, what's it gonna take to get you to open the artillery room for us?" He looked at the officer.

   Finn thought for a moment, before answering confidently. "I know where the trash compacter is."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

   After upgrading our weapons, Finn, Chewie, Solo and I continued to sneak around the corridors. Finn kept mentioning the "Rey" that he was hoping to find, which made me wonder why everyone in the galaxy was searching for this girl. Solo and Chewie continued to mumble passive aggressive remarks to each other, despite Finn's shushing. I followed closely behind them all, still fuming about Kylo Ren's lies and the officer's remarks. My emotions were a jumbled mess from being pushed away for so long, and it was getting more and more difficult to keep them at bay.

   Eventually, we had found Rey (after nearly slamming into her when turning corners). She was the girl I had seen earlier, and was much less threatening than I had assumed. Although I couldn't tell why she was so important to the First Order, I decided not to question her origin and intentions. She seemed trustworthy enough, and it was evident that Kylo Ren had traumatized her enough as well.

   Upon seeing each other, she and Finn had embraced for a while, while he mumbled apologies to her and she cried. I stood there in silence, awkwardly watching and wondering how long they had been apart. Chewie stood next to me and grumbled impatiently in the silence, to which we then continued our journey through the base. At some point, amidst the chaos and commotion of personnel running around the base, fighting whatever was attacking them, Han Solo had separated from us. Chewie told us (translation provided by Rey) not to worry - that he could handle himself.

   Finally, we arrived at a large, dark tunnel that ran deep into the ground - so much so that it was impossible to see the bottom. We carefully made our way across the thin platforms and bridges, making sure to avoid any of the Stormtroopers or officers below.

   "Where are we headed?" I asked quietly.

   "Out." Finn replied. "The Resistance is planning on blowing up the entire planet, so we need to get out of here fast."

   "The Resistance is here?!" I said in disbelief. I wondered if Kiera and Delmi were there too. For their own sake, and so I had a chance to beg their forgiveness later, I hoped they weren't. "Do you know how much time we have?"

   "Not long. Hopefully we can get back to the Falcon in time."

   "Look!" Rey cried out, and pointed to a platform below us.

   Upon peering over the ledge, my breath caught in my throat. Han Solo was standing on a bridge, right in front of Kylo Ren. My heart stopped at how close they were to each other.

   "What is he doing?" I said, leaning over the railing to get a better look. Kylo Ren's body was shaking and his shoulders slumped, and with every word he said, Solo's lip would tremble. My intuition was telling me that, whatever was happening down there, it wasn't going to end well.

   Rey furrowed her brow. "Is he reconciling to his father?" she asked.

   Like hell he is... "We need to get him away from Kylo..." I said sharply.

   "But it looks like Solo might have finally knocked some sense into that kid!" Finn was staring anxiously at the scene below. "Is... is he crying? What a big baby- "

   "He's not really crying!" I said, holding my blaster into position. "He's faking it, that son of a bitch!!"

   "Hey, watch it- "

   The sound of my blaster firing drowned out Finn's concerned voice. I never let my weapon down until I made sure it hit its mark - right in the back of Kylo Ren's leg.

   Even from the distance, I could hear his anguished cry as he keeled over. Solo looked up at us with shock and anger. He was obviously shouting in wrath, although none of us could make out what he was saying.

   "What the hell did you do?!" Finn shouted, and snatched my blaster before I could fire again. "Are you crazy?!"

   "I may have just saved Solo's life! That boy is a liar who would sell his own soul to get what he wants, and you can't trust a damn thing he does!!"

   "Or you could have killed him!!" he shouted back.

   "She's right." Rey chimed in, still watching the scene below. "He won't change. We need to get Solo out- "

   Before she could finish, the sound of a lightsaber slashing echoed through the hall. We looked back to Kylo Ren and Han Solo on the platform; Kylo's lightsaber was buried deep into Solo's abdomen.

   "NO!!" Finn shouted. Rey gasped in shock, followed by an anguished cry from Chewbacca.

   My breath caught in my throat as I watched Kylo Ren throw Solo over the edge of the platform. I could feel my heart drop into my stomach as he disappeared into the gaping hole below. I was frozen in shock. "God, no, no no..." I muttered the words over and over, hoping it was a dream.

   "He's gone..." Rey said shakily. "Solo, he's gone. Oh my god, Leia..."

   Kylo Ren looked up at us, before locking eyes with Rey. If he could have had any more hatred on his face, he did. He gripped the hilt of his lightsaber tightly, as if he were going to throw it.

   "Go, go!!" Finn directed Rey away from the ledge as fast as he could. Chewie and I continued to stand there in shock, staring down at Kylo Ren. He now stared back at me, somewhat shocked.

   How did you get here?! His words were full of rage and resentment. I could feel him trying to dig into my mind again; that same, painful scraping from before, when he had tried to interrogate me. Yet, I didn't succumb to the pain. Instead, I was able to feel his emotions. Leaking through the wrath on the surface were sadness, regret, and pain of his own.

   "Why?!" I leaned over the railing and screamed at him. "He was your father, you bastard!!"

   He glared up at me, furious that I could feel his emotions. Come here, NOW.

   The pull was stronger now - I was fighting the urge to obey his command, and it was harder than ever before. I closed my eyes and focused: don't do it, don't listen to him, think of something else. I directed my attention to my hands, gripping the railing as hard as they could.

   "What's wrong with you?!" Finn's shout snapped me back to reality. He ran towards me, Rey close behind. "We need to go, now!!" He grabbed my arm and dragged me away from the edge.

   Chewbacca began firing his blaster at whomever he could and yelled in rage. I took one last look at him - although he was beastly, I could see the pain in his expression. He was fuming and hurt that he had just lost his life-long partner, and that it was to the man's own son. He disappeared behind the walls of the room, his cries echoing, as we fled the scene.

   Finn led us outside the dark and sleek interior of Starkiller Base. When I stepped out into the snow, my eyes forced themselves shut; the world around me was so white, from the snow that completely covered the planet, to the cloudy sky above. I hadn't seen such a bright setting in ages, and it was painful to look at. I followed closely behind Finn and Rey, trying to focus on their footprints ahead of me as I fought to keep my eyes open. Above us, I could hear the sounds of X-Wing and TIE Fighters firing at each other. Debris from destroyed space crafts rained from the sky, nearly hitting us as we continued to run.

   Eventually, we entered into the woods. The sky was blocked out by the towering evergreens around us, but the snow still fell heavy. I could hear Finn's and Rey's strained breaths, as well as my own pounding heartbeat, now that the commotion was well behind us.

   "Wait!" Rey shouted, slowing to a stop. She put her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breath.

   "What is it?" Finn stopped next to her, concerned.

   Rey took some deep breaths before looking back at Finn and me. Her face was covered in tears and sweat and her hair was a mess. "Where are we going?"

   Finn looked around: although he knew where the fight was going on behind us, there was no other indication that we were heading towards safety. Or, furthermore, if there even was such a thing. The sky was growing darker with each second, making it even more difficult to tell what direction to go in.

   "I'm not sure," he finally said, "... but we just need to get away from the fight. We need to get you back to the Resistance fleet."

   "And what about Han Solo?!" I said angrily. "We're not going to talk about what just happened? That his own son just killed him, and that we had the chance to stop him? But we didn't?!"

   Finn sighed. "We don't have the time for that right now, if you hadn't noticed! And there was nothing we could do!"

   "There was!!" I stood firmly in front of Finn, staring at him with anger. "I tried to save Solo and you stopped me! I could have killed Kylo Ren that moment, but you wouldn't let me!"

   "You had plenty of chances to kill him!!" He matched my volume. "You pranced around with him for who knows how long, and you didn't do a damn thing! You're not any better than me, or even him!! Why didn't you kill him, huh?"

   I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't think of anything to say. Why didn't I kill him? There were so many chances I could have taken, why didn't I even think about it?

   "Face it, you've become one of them, haven't you?!" He continued.

   "Fuck off!!" I screamed as I tried to slug him across the face. Finn grabbed my arms and tried to fight back, although I held my stance firmly and continued to try and punch him.

   "Stop it you two!!" Rey shouted.

   We both looked at her. She was standing straight, her hands balled into fists, and a look of frustration hanging from her face. "What happened was awful, and I don't know what to tell Leia. But we'll have time to discuss it later. We need to get out of here, stop wasting your time and your energy being idiots!"

   Finn and I looked at each other, and instantly I felt foolish. I quickly moved away from him, and he let go of my arms. We both stared in opposite directions of each other.

   I understood what this was - for the first time in a long time, I was finally free of Kylo Ren. Now, all of the emotions that had been pushed back were rising up, more intense than ever. I had to control this, before I couldn't. I didn't want to be like Kylo Ren, who didn't care where his anger directed him.

   "Ok." Finn broke the silence. "So what now?"

   Rey looked around her, as if an answer would pop up out of the snow. "I don't know. Just keep heading away from the center of the base?"

   I nodded in agreement. "That sounds good. We should be safe for a little bit - I can't hear him right now."

   Rey and Finn both looked at me in astonishment. "What?" they both said.

   I froze. Shit! Panicking, I frantically searched for an explanation. "Wh- uhh... y- you don't hear him too?"

   "Hell no!" Finn stared at me like I was a creature he'd just discovered. "What do you mean, 'hear him' ?"

   What now, what now, what now... "I, uhh, sometimes I hear him, like he's speaking to me. Directly. But, it's... it's in my head. But I hear his voice, just... in my... head."

   They continued to look at me in shock. I shifted my weight in the uncomfortable silence. Stupid! Why the hell did you say that? What's wrong with you?!

   "How?" Rey finally said.

   I quickly shrugged. "I don't know, it just happens. He can hear me, too."

   "What?!"

   I slapped my forehead and sighed. You fucking idiot!! "I mean, he reads my thoughts! Erhm, but not all of them. I've been getting better at blocking him out."

   "Oh, so you've been practicing with him, have you?!" Finn crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a suspicious look. Rey continued to hang her jaw in disbelief.

   "No! No, that's not what I meant, just- "

   Suddenly, Rey was launched into the air, screaming as she collided with the tree behind me. She was instantly knocked out as her head hit the trunk.

   "Rey!!" Finn cried out, rushing towards her as she fell to the ground. I began to follow him as well - when I heard it.

   Come.

   I froze, fear rushing through my body. He was close. Kylo Ren was close to us. I had to get as far away from him as I possibly could.

   "No..." I answered, searching for an escape. I let my feet carry me in a random direction as I tried to find any sanctuary from the situation.

   Finn looked back at me desperately. "I need you to help me get her out of here!"

   "I'm sorry..." the words fell out of my mouth, barely a whisper. "I can't stay here, he knows I'm here- "

   "Of course he knows!" Fin shouted angrily. "He knows we're all here! We're all in deep water, not just you! If you run away now, you only put yourself in more danger, or you abandon your friends to die. Is that what you want?!"

   Finn's words quickly sank into my brain. Of course I didn't want that. Just like I didn't want to leave Delmi and Kiera behind. I didn't mean to abandon them, I was just... running away. Saving myself. Finally admitting this to myself made tears flow from my eyes. I never even thought how leaving them behind would affect them, not just my own self. How could I have done that, and truly called myself their friend? "Oh my god..."

   "Look, I almost ran away too." Finn said. "And it didn't just affect me, it affected Rey. I let my fear put my friends in danger - I was a coward."

   "I'm not a coward." my voice shook as I spoke, more to myself than Finn. Although I knew the words were a lie.

   "Then help me help her. So we can all get each other to safety." he pleaded. "If you really aren't a coward, you won't leave her behind."

   I looked at Rey, still unconscious in the snow. She needs both our help. Don't abandon them again. Don't abandon Kiera and Delmi.

   "Ok." I said, still shaking. I knelt down next to him. "What do we do?"

   Finn searched his mind for a plan. "Chewie should be getting help... we just need to keep- "

   He was cut off mid sentence by a stone colliding with his head. He was knocked back into the snow, right next to Rey.

   "FINN!" I cried, dropping next to him. There was a small trail of blood running down from his forehead, although not too much; he was just unconscious, but that wasn't good either. I scanned the woods around us, searching for Kylo Ren. Strangely, the trees were the only things surrounding the area. He was nowhere in sight.

   "What the hell?" I whispered, still in shock. I looked at the stone on the ground, just a few feet from me. It was smooth and glossy - too artificial to have been lying around in the woods. So where did it come from? And further, stones didn't just fly around for no good reason. It was Kylo Ren, it had to be.

   I shook my head, clearing the panic from my mind. I had time to get Rey and Finn to safety. And right now, that mattered more than myself.

   I quickly spotted two fallen trees, one leaning against another. It made a small shelter against the wind, and anyone who may have been coming from behind us. I scooped up Rey into my arms and carried her behind the trees. She was lighter than I had expected, and barely made a dent in the snow. Finn, on the other hand... I resorted to dragging him by his arms, and struggled to throw him over the two trunks. He landed heavily on his side, his head resting in the snow.

   Come here.

   A chill ran down my spine. It was him. The voice was calm and gentle, but it was him. Fear quickly flooded my veins and my heart pounded. How long has he been here?

   Trust me.

   "Don't you fucking dare..." I whispered, anger building in my chest. "Don't you dare think that after everything you did- "

   I kept you alive. I spared you. I gave you a chance no one else had. You should be thanking me.

   I squeezed my eyes shut. I knew he was lying, it was obvious now. Yet there was still a part of me, an innocent, gullible part, that thought he was right. And I couldn't drown out that thought.

   You're tired. You need to rest.

   "No!" I shouted, sinking to the ground. I buried my head in my knees and held my ears shut, trying to block out any thought, any lingering of him.

   I know you.

   "You don't know shit about me!!"

   Come here.

   His voice resonated throughout my head. I couldn't hear the wind anymore, I couldn't hear my own heartbeat... it was just those two words, over and over again, beckoning me to move towards Kylo Ren.  

   "STOP IT!!" I screamed. "Get out of my head!! Just get out!!"

   Come here.

   "No!" I shouted again. "I won't! Stay away from me, stay out of my head!!" I clawed at my head in attempt to distract myself from his words. They were oddly alluring to me. Instead of them being angry and violent, they were gentle. Almost as if he was cooing at me. I knew it was all a trick, but my mind was used to the softness of his voice. I was so tired, so weak, and so desperate, and the sound of his words were so enticing.

   Snap out of it!! I thought to myself. Whether the words were kind or not, this was Kylo Ren; the man who manipulated everyone and lied about everything. I shouldn't have been interested in anything that had to do with him. Yet, even as I mentally screamed at my weak will, I continued to feel the want to get up and go to him.

   Eventually, I couldn't resist the urge.

   "I'm not crazy..." I mumbled, pushing myself off of the ground and making my way to him. I didn't know why, but I didn't bother to question it.

   He was standing in front of me - where he came from, I had no idea. Upon seeing me, he removed his helmet and dropped it in the snow. His lightsaber was ready at hand, glowing menacingly against the white of the forest surrounding us. His expression was calm, though I could see a hint of anger and frustration in his eyes. I stopped a few feet away and stared at him.

   "I'm not insane." I repeated - like a broken record.

   "Do you actually think that?" he spat, his voice shaking in anger. "Can you even think for yourself anymore, after what I've done to you?"

   What does that even mean? I thought, and Kylo Ren heard me.

   "Would you believe me if I had told you that you haven't acted of your own free will since the day you got here?"

   I didn't answer. I couldn't answer, I couldn't even make any facial expression to show my pain. But the inside of my head was screaming with agony, at his words and at his hold on my mind.

   "Keeping you in that cell," he continued, "that was just the beginning of breaking you down. I knew your will was too strong to succumb to physical pain, and may have only gotten stronger through the torture. So I waited - it wasn't easy, and you know I'm not a man of patience. But I could see that leaving you alone in that cell was destroying your sanity. You became desperate for any sort of comfort or consolation, that it didn't matter from whom it came. Naturally, I took the opportunity, right when you had told me you had given up. You were at your weakest point, and I was able to control your emotions without you ever knowing it. I made you feel safe, at ease... and because your will was so broken, so defeated... it was simple, almost too easy, to make you think and do what I wanted. I could make you believe anything, trust anything, feel anything, all with a small thought of my own."

   "If you could do all that," I said, trembling, "...if I was so broken, then why did you drag it out so long? Why didn't you just get the information you wanted and kill me?"

   He didn't answer right away, as he calculated his answer. "Simple boredom." he replied. "Which was my mistake, of course. There's nothing to do on this base besides giving and taking orders. When I realized that I had created such a puppet out of you, I decided to have fun with it. Although I believe this attack could have been long avoided had I just retrieved the location of the base and disposed of you."

   My brain was hazy under his trance. Each word he spoke made me think of when I had trusted him, when I had felt comfortable around him. But the memories were sour now, and tainted with the realization that it was all a game. "You..." I began as I glared into his eyes, to which he seemed intimidated. "You are nothing but weak, and you know it."

   "Quiet!!" he cried, bringing his lightsaber up to my neck with a menacing expression. "You've been lied to since the moment you got here! You can't possibly know what I am!!"

   "I saw what you were moments ago!" I shouted back at him, ignoring the lightsaber at my neck. "You're a monster, and a murderer! But more than that, you're the rotten bastard, a disgraceful, son-of-a-bitch- "

   "I SAID QUIET!!" he growled.

   "- lazy and immature coward!!"

   "ENOUGH!!" Kylo Ren drew back his lightsaber and slashed it across my torso. I collapsed against the tree behind me, though he used the force to keep me standing up. I seethed and bit my tongue as I stared at the new mark on my stomach; it didn't cut through me, but it left a long stripe, stretching from one side to the other.

   I looked back at him. "Just kill me!!" I screamed angrily. "You've stated your intentions, and you've shown me how I'm not a piece in this game anymore - so just kill me for god's sake!!"

   Kylo Ren clenched his jaw, still fuming. "You're not going to bother asking why I'm explaining all of this to you?!"

   "I couldn't give a fuck about you or what you have to say!"

   He ignored me. "I'm telling you this now because, well... because I couldn't tell anyone else what I was doing to you. I've kept our secret for months, lest anyone find out the fact that I was just having fun. And as you should know, any type of isolation - whether it be keeping a secret, or not being able to speak to anyone but my own conscious - it's a wretched feeling. So, that is why I am explaining my plan to you. It doesn't matter if you know, since I'm going to kill you."

   But-

   "But what?" he sneered. "Did you really think I felt affection towards you? Did you honestly think I was telling the truth?" he spat the word out, as if it had tasted sour. "I must have been doing a very good job of it, then, since even now, you still believe I had feelings for you. That, or you must be terribly dense." he walked to my side, disappearing from my vision. "Think to yourself - why would I ever admire you? Why would I be so infatuated with such an insignificant person? You mean nothing to me, and you never have. Nor will you ever."

   He allowed me to speak, only to answer him. "You said that I entranced you. That you were intrigued by my resilience to the force. You said - you said you loved me." I felt stupid and ashamed repeating his words - they were obviously lies. It was so damn clear now, it made me want to vomit. And I had been so blind to believe that they were true. It was sickening to know that I had ever accepted them to be real. It made me realize how weak I was, how gullible I had been.

   "Not all of that is a lie." He stated, as I got back up on my feet. "I was interested in you. You had the strongest willpower of the pilots in your squadron. Possibly, of all the pilots I have come across. I was confused in how you were able to remain reserved under the force. But I never loved you." he chuckled to himself. "It's funny to think that you believed me when I said that. All it took were a few lies, and I was able to control you, little by little."

   He sighed, turning to look me in the eyes. "It is, however, disheartening, to think that all this work I put into you still resulted in nothing. I had hoped that in a few weeks you would have revealed the location of the Resistance Base, but then they had to come and initiate an attack. I wasn't able to fight them off and keep you under my control. Even the most experienced Jedi can't control that much at once."

   Anger welled up in my chest, and I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch, scratch, kick, do whatever I could to injure Kylo. However, the restraint holding me back from hurting him only fueled my anger, which led to tears falling down my cheeks. Everything he was saying was so painful, but now that I knew, I wasn't shocked by any of it. It was something I had expected from so wicked a person, yet every second of listening to him speak was torture.

   "You think this, right now, is torture." he said. "But wait until I finally kill you."

   This caught me off guard; I chuckled to myself a bit. "You know what? I've been waiting for it for weeks." I said with a sneer. I knew he hated that, and I didn't care. For the first time in a long time, I felt liberated. Kylo Ren was about to kill me. I was going to die - death was right in front of me, shrouded in black and angry that I had managed to escape his grasp more than once. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't giving up, either... I just felt at peace.

   But of course, he wasn't going to let me have that. "I will thoroughly enjoy this, my dear."

   As he said this, he pushed the cross hair of his lightsaber into my abdomen. A fierce heat flowed violently from the lightsaber and into the rest of my body, and my muscles twitched and seized instinctively from the wound. Even though I was still under his grasp on my mind, I stuttered and shook in pain. Tears began to fall harder, and I could feel the lightsaber cauterizing as quickly as it tore through my skin.. It was warm, but it only made the pain worse as time went on. My breath was heavy and cold, and my heartbeat had quickened drastically. I felt the pain; I knew it was pain, and it made me want to scream and writhe in agony. But all I could do was stand there and stare Kylo in the eyes, until he either released my mind from his grip, or finally killed me. And I was sure it would be the latter.

   Fear

   But I wasn't afraid.

   Father. Han Solo.

   These images and thoughts in my mind weren't my own...

   Pain

   These were his thoughts. Kylo Ren's thoughts. Why could I hear them? Why were they so loud in my head?

   I can't do this.

   I looked at him in the eyes. Does he know I can hear him? I thought. The pain from the lightsaber subsided as I continued to listen to his thoughts.

   Suddenly, I noticed his expression change; he seemed angry, as if I had insulted him. His eyes widened, and leaned in closer to my face. "You will not break me!!" he spat.

   The next words that slipped from my mouth... I'm not sure where they came from. I can't even say that they were my own.

   "I won't be the one to break you, Ben."

   Upon hearing me speak, he wrapped his hand around my throat and began to choke me. The lack of oxygen was excruciating, however, I continued to be numb to the pain.

   "What did you say?" he growled.

   I struggled against his grip, trying to pry away his fingers with my own. I attempted to answer him, but his hand only tightened around my neck with each gasp.

   Suddenly, a blue light raced past my head. Kylo was forcefully knocked to the ground, tearing his lightsaber away from my side. I could feel the force being pulled from my head, and almost instantly, pain replaced it. I fell backwards into the snow, screaming in anguish from the pain in my abdomen. My muscles convulsed involuntarily, my head seared with pain - it was all so much at once. Only moments before, Kylo was holding me back from reacting to the wound, and now that he was gone, all I could feel was the searing heat in my side..

Today, there’s little to no work. Most people are working on finding leads to the map to Luke Skywalker, but you and Kylo Ren are just sitting around or walking around the halls. You two aren’t friends, but you aren’t enemies. You two don’t hate each other at all. You and Kylo are just walking through an empty hallway, when he all of a sudden, he stops. 

“I’ve never seen your face.”

“Excuse me?” Your modulated voice from your mask asks him.

“Show me your face.” He says.

“Why? You rarely show your face.” You shoot back.

He places his hands on his mask and takes it off. You see his dark locks and pale face. “Your turn.”

You roll your eyes, even though he can’t see. “You really want to see my face?” You ask. He nods. You roll your eyes again and place your hands on your mask. “You’re sure?” He nods. There wasn’t anything wrong with your face, you just didn’t like to show it.

You slowly took off your mask, letting your H/C hair fall out. 

His eyes widen. “Oh, maker they're beautiful.” He says. You laugh. “Did I just say that out loud?”

“Yes, you did.” You reply.

“I’m sorry.” 

You smile. “It’s okay. Actually, not many people have called me beautiful, let alone compliment me.”

He furrows his brow. “Why haven’t they?”

“Well,” You begin. “I’ve never been ‘normal.’ People made fun of me for being force-sensitive and I didn’t have many friends.” 

He walks up to you and moves some of your hair behind your ear. You blush. “You should take off your mask more often.”

“Here’s a deal. When we’re alone, I’ll take off my mask. Other than that, it stays on.”

“Deal.”

After that, you two hang out all of the time. If either of you were having nightmares, the other would come. You two became great friends. You think you might be catching feelings for me. He also now knows your real name. Y/N.

One night, you have a nightmare. Those are normal, but there was something different about this one. It included a child. (Not Baby Yoda. I know what you’re thinking.) And she killed you and Kylo. When you wake up, Kylo is there holding you.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s okay. Calm down. I’m here.” He says calmly as you attempt to compose yourself. “You’re okay. It was just a dream.

“It felt so real.” You reply. Kylo plays with your hair. He recently learned that doing so helped you calm down. “There was a child. She couldn’t have been older than 14. And, she killed me, and you.”

He gives you a confused look. “What did she look like?” 

“Um... Long, black, curly hair. E/C eyes. And she had a lightsaber, so she must have been force-sensitive.”

He kisses your temple, something both of you do to calm the other down. This is the side only you get to see of him. “It’s probably nothing.”

“Probably.” You try to slow your breathing. You put your head on his shoulder and he continues playing with your hair. “Now that I think of it, she looks a lot like you. But not completely like you.”

“The Force is probably messing with you. It’s unlikely we’d have a child. We’re just friends.”

You sigh. “What if,” You start, “I wanted us to be more than friends?” He furrows his brow. “You’re calming to me, you’re kind to me, and your looks are a plus, but not the main reason that I’ve fallen head over heels for you.”

“You, love me?” He asks.

“How could I not?” 

He looks into your eyes, then your lips. He leans in, and you meet him in the middle. 

It sounds cliche, and it is, but it feels like your stomach and heart are exploding. You’ve fallen for him since he called you beautiful. You two pull away because you, unfortunately, have to breathe to survive. 

“I’m so happy you feel the same.” He kisses your temple again. 

You smile. “That was terrifying for me. I have never been that forward.”

“You don’t need to be afraid when you’re with me. You are amazing, kind, and beautiful. I want you to know that.”

“Thank you.” You put your lips on his again and pull away after a few seconds. Kylo plays with your hair until you fall asleep. He smiles at your peaceful form and lays you on your bed and puts your blankets over you. He looks at you for a moment, then leaves your room and goes to his quarters to go back to sleep.

“Sweetheart, you are going to be late for school!” “I´m coming, Mom!”

She run down the stairs, pressing a binder against her chest and pulling the strap of her backpack over her shoulder.

“What took you so long?” “Sorry, I made sure that I have everything for my literature project.” while she patted the binder, she took one of the toasts that her mother had placed on the table.

“And don´t forget, come home after your club. We go out for Lunch for Dads Birthday.” “Yes Mom. I promise.”quickly making her way around the counter, after finishing her breakfast, kissing her Mother Goodbye and ruffling the ears of her old dog Benji.

As soon as she walked down the veranda, she almost run into someone. “Sorry...” a low voice mumbled, before the dark figure continued his path.

“No, i´m sorry...” she whispered shyly, knowing that he couldn´t hear her anymore. She knew him since she was little, since their family moved here when she was only 3 years old. He always seemed to keep to himself, his black strains of hair, mostly falling into his face hiding his dark eyes. Always covered in black clothing and rarely speaking.

The only thing the both of them had in common was their way to school.

When she finally arrived at the school, she was greeted by her friends who were already waiting for her.

It was a normal day, nothing out of the ordinary. They had a chemistry test in second period, Pizza for Lunch and nice giggle and chat after the school before they would need to go to their Clubs.

Walking through the halls , they all joked around carefree until a sudden announcement echoed through the halls and classrooms.

“EMERGENCY! This is not a drill! A violant disturbance has broken out on campus. There is an imminent risk of danger to participants and bystanders. For your own safety, please go into a building and take cover. If you are not in the Area, stay away. Follow instructions from school officials or local authorities. I repeat!”

The message repeated and the group of girls looked shocked at each other.

“Do you think this is a joke?” one of them asked scared and kept looking around.

“Didn´t you listen?! It´s not a drill.” another one hissed, but seemed just as terrified. “What should we do?”

Hearing tumult nearby, all of them started to panic. Y/n quickly rushed to the classrooms nearby and started to check and ruttle at the handles. “This one is open! Quick!!”

Looking over to her friends she noticed a small figure coming out of the boys bathroom.

It was a small boy, his dark brown hair standing up in all directions, his face pale and horrified.

She stopped in her tracks, quickly rushing to his side before down in front of him. When she saw his scared face she felt like it seemed quite familiar but couldn´t quite place it.

“Hey there, I know this seems all very scary right now but you need to hide with us, alright?”

For a moment he seemed relieved before but kept a safe distance.

“My Brother told me not to talk to strangers.” he mumbled shy. “That sa good advice your brother gave you, but at the moment ...” she got interrupted by her friends.

“Y/N come on!!” they shrieked in a panic. “One Moment!!” she shushed them and turned back to the boy.

“The how about we become friends? My name is Y/N.” “B...Ben...”

Smiling down at him she place a hand gently on his shoulder.

“See Ben, now we are no strangers anymore….” a sudden sound around the corner made them flinch and she quickly pushed him to the classroom her friends were waiting. “But we really need to hide now!”

For the most time it stayed quiet. No Announcements, a few footsteps here and there but they really wasn´t sure if they could consider this a good thing or not.

The five of them were sitting in a corner of the classroom, pressed together under the last table they hadn´t used to barricade themselves.

“Do you guys think somebody will still come for us?” one of her friends began to share her worrys.

Y/N who had her arms around Ben to keep him calm, looked angry at her friend. “Of course somebody will come for us!” she hissed quiet, but after a few hours they just knew it couldn´t be just a small incident.

When they suddenly heard Gunfire outside the room, they tried to cover their screams and Y/N instinctively covered Bens ears until the door was pushed open by a few police officers.

“Alright Kids, we are from the state police and will bring you home. Please follow us. Everything will be alright now.” while they slowly followed the officers outside, Y/N carried Ben to spare him from the sight of the chaotic school. Broken Doors and windows, bloody handprints on the walls and distant sound of gun fire.

Feeling the little boy shake in her arms, she only pressed him nearer.

“Don´t worry, they will get us home soon.” she tried to encourage him and felt his slight nod against her shoulder. When they left the building it was already dark outside.

“A Van will bring you home, pleas get in the Line for your district and follow the orders of the officials.

“Ben where do you live?” she asked him while setting him down, he quickly held onto her hand. “Fr...Frankly Street, in Brooklyn.” the small boy stuttered.

“Thats good! I live in the same street! Stay close now, okay?” with a worried look she separated from her friends and pushed through the crowed to get to the Van they needed.

“Ben? BEN?!” the dark haired boy, she had run to in the morning was pushing threw the crowd and quickly kneeling down to the boy. “Are you okay? You hurt?” he asked worried but Ben only smiled. “No, Y/N helped me out!” and she could hear the older brother mumble a thanks. “That´s good, Bud. Come on we need to get home.”

Before she couldn´t even say her goodbye, the older one suddenly laid his hand on her lower back.

“Our Van is this way.” he explained without looking at her. “Thanks...uhm” she mumbled and walked along them.

“Kylo...” he answered her unspoken question and helped her into the car. Placing Ben on her lap before he took the place beside her. “I´m Y/N...” “I know.” for a moment she wasn´t sure, if she really had seen a little smirk form on his lips.

Seeing the familiar road, Y/N heart felt a lot more at ease and couldn´t wait to meet up with her parents.

“Please remember, pack a few things, just the important things, clothes, food rations and make your ways to the city halls in less then an hour! Your familys will be safe there!” the driver explained again before he let them outside.

“Good Luck.” she heard Kylos deep voice beside her. “You too.” ruffling through Bens hair before she rushed to her house.

“Mom? Mom are you here?!”

Now that she was home, her body suddenly started to shake and she couldn´t keep her voice from breaking. “Mom? Dad? Anybody?” it was just a whisper that escaped her lips and for a moment she didn´t know what she should do.

Frozen in place, her body just wouldn´t move until she heard a small yelp from the kitchen. “Benji?” stumbling into the dark room a scream was caught up in her throat.

The floor was covered in blood, her dog laying there while someone was leaning over him. A shiver running down her spine while she heard the crunching noise coming from that horrible scene in front of her and she was sure she would never forget these horrible sounds.

“Dad what are you doing?!” Y/N found her voice back, even though it only came out as a shriek. Her fathers head snapped in her direction, only letting out a low growl showing of his blood smeared teeth.

Before she could properly react, her father had grabbed her shoulders and was throwing her against the wall with a bone shaking scream.

“Dad, please...” Y/N whimpered trying to catch her breath. Slipping on the wet floor she fell to the ground, trying to crawl under the table she felt someone grabbing her leg and pulled her back.

This was it, this was the end. At keast that was what she thought until a sudden loud bang halled through the kitchen.

Her ears started ringing, and she pressed her shaking hands onto them while she screamed. When she opened her eyes again, her fathers body was lying to her feet, his face mutilated by the bullet that went through it.

This was a nightmare, she just needed to wake up. Pressing her eyelids shut she started to hit her head. Wake up! Wake up!!

Someone grabbed her wrist and pulled them away from her face. “Hey it´s me!” her eyes shot up to look into the honey brown eyes from Kylo.

First she was relieved to see him until she noticed the rifle in his hand. “You shot him … you killed him you monster!” she screamed before hitting his chest over and over.

Kylo just let her, while he laid an arm around her. “You need to listen to me. We need to get out of here as quickly as possible.”

She only whimpered and shoved him away. “What is wrong with you?!”

“That wasn´t your Dad anymore! He was sick, it´s some kind of infection! It´s spreading and if I hadn´t come you would be one of this things to!” his voice grew louder and he wasn´t sure how hhe properly should explain it to her.

Both of them flinched when they heard a scratching noise on the door to the cellar. Even though it were just weird growls coming from it, she knew exactly who was behind it. Seeing the bloodied handprints on the lock, she knew her father had locked his mother away in it.

“Do you have any scratches or bites?” Kylo asked while searching her arms, legs and upper body. “N...no I don´t think so.”

Another hiss came from the door and lightly bangs started to reach their ears. Kylo bit his lip and stood up again.

“Cover your ears...” he mumbled. And without questioning it her hands slowly raised up before she stopped.

“Wait! What if there is a cure?!” she shout whispered clinging to his arm.

But as soon as her eyes met his again she knew the answer.

“I´m sorry...” Kylo whispered.

Tears started streaming down her face while she pressed her hands onto her ears, the loud shot sending shivers down her spine.

Looking to the ground were Benjis empty eyes looked up at her and she couldn´t stop her sobs anymore.

The only thing that she felt was emptiness. Not even noticing Kylos arms wrap around her.

NEXT CHAPTER - Starry Night

A man dressed in black stood from where he kneeled on the ground in front of my grandfather and made his way to the elevator where you still stood. The two soldiers standing in front of you parted ways for the black haired man. You noticed as he walked towards you he walked with a manner that screamed emo. But then again maybe that was just you. 

“Well hello dear, here to take me to grandaddy?” You teased the man with scars. 

“Silence.” He spoke. His voice was deep and gravely to a degree that sent shivers down your spine. You wanted to hear him speak more. 

He grabbed your upper arm roughly and forced you to walk into the eyesore of the room. Walking to the room only a few feet before stopping. The man pushed you forward a few steps before dropping down to his knees and bowing his head. You might’ve snorted a little. 

“Ah,” You grandfather, Snoke, smiled and unfolded his hands from his lap to spread them out wide. “My only grandchild, how nice to see you.” 

“It’s lovely to see you too, grandfather.” You didn’t kneel like the man behind you, instead you stood and cocked your right hip out. “You’ve gotten a bit tubbier than I remember you.” 

“Have care of how you speak to me,” His voice made you want to scratch out your eardrums, “You are in my house.”

“Unwillingly, might I add.”

“But you came peacefully.”

“I was curious.” 

“Indeed.” He hummed and stayed silent for a moment before continuing. “It seems even my most talented accessory in this war has managed to greatly disappoint me. I should’ve know better but being a grandchild of Vader himself one would’ve thought better of him.” Snoke shrugged. “I suppose not.”

“And what does Vader’s grandson have anything to do with me. exactly?” 

“You are very much alike.”

“Are we now?”

“You’re both disappointments. Both disgraces to your family names and yet you prance around the galaxy acting as if you own it. You’re both failures to the Sith name.”

“And yet I’m most powerful Jedi in the galaxy.”

“You are nothing but a failure, Y/N.” 

"Then why am I here? You haven’t killed me yet, and I haven’t messed with any plans of the First Order so keeping me in a cell really isn’t in the equation anymore.” As if it ever was.

“You are to train Kylo Ren.”

“And what would I have to offer to him? You taught us both the ways of the force.” You wanted to glance back to the man behind you but you felt the emotions radiating off of him like a heater. He was surprised and angry. 

“You may achieve in creating a better Sith than what kneels behind you. You’re a failure but maybe there is still hope for Ren.”

The man behind you stood and grabbed your upper arm once more and lead you to the elevator. This time, however, it was just the two of you. Kylo was standing behind you when you felt a small poke of the force in your mind. You knew what he was trying to do but the walls you built around your mind were too strong for even Luke Skywalker himself to get past. After several minutes of poking and prodding Kylo had given up out of anger.

The elevator dinged and he grabbed your arm. The halls were gray in color and the atmosphere was cold. On either side of the hallway were metal cubbies with a single platform big enough for a person to sleep on. These were the cells.  

“Didn’t know you liked this kind of thing, Ky.” Your voice echoed in the empty hallway. He didn’t answer you. 

“You know, I like a little more romancing before we get to the fun stuff.” He still didn’t make a noise, instead he pushed you inside a cell and took the cuffs off your wrists using the force.

“I could’ve done that part myself.” You smirked at the man who stared back at you. 

“I’ll be back in the morning to begin training.”

The night was long. You poked around with the force for a bit but you were unable to figure out where in the galaxy you were. That put a little dent in your escape plan so instead of getting lost and shot at, you stayed put and opted for a good night’s sleep. Good it was not. 

You were stuck in a nightmare. You were back on Jakku of all places when a bounty hunter found you. You were with Maki, your longstanding best friend. You had fought together, smuggled together, and laughed together for many years. But Maki was taken from you by the bounty hunter and was threatened to be killed if you didn’t come with them willingly. You had a plan and was ready to kill the bounty hunter when, in a millisecond, the hunter blasted Maki. They had been hurt because of you and the power you held. The hunter was after you and your skill set but instead of getting that they had killed your best friend and even mock sibling. 

The nightmare went on and repeated like a tape on replay but you were woken suddenly when a door slammed somewhere down the hallway you were staying in. You jolted up from the cold metal ‘bed’ you were sleeping on in a sweat. Your clothes stuck to your skin and beads of sweat dripped down your neck. Had you been more aware and awake of your surroundings you would’ve noticed the man standing outside your cell but it was too late, he had already prodded your mind. 

“You feel so alone in this world.” His voice startled you. He stood slightly inside your cell. He wasn’t wearing the cloak he was wearing the last time you spoke but instead a black pair of pants and training shirt. Kylo looked ready to get this over with but at the same time he looked like he wanted to do nothing but sit and talk about the world and its wonders. 

“What makes you say that?”

“Your friend, Maki, is dead.”

“Yes, they are. Thank you for pointing it out.”

“You think it was your fault.”

“Because it was.”

“I won’t leave you alone.” You raised an eyebrow.

“I won’t leave you to be alone, to have no one.” He went on. “No one deserves to be alone like that. Stay here and train me. Become my friend.”

“Kylo-”

“I won’t ever hurt you. I won’t ever leave you.” He walked into the cell further and crouched in front of you so you were eye to eye. 

“Stay with me and we can become an unstoppable pair.”