#kurtram

Alright, sit the fuck down, cuz this is literally just all the bullshit character study crap I’ve done with these two cuties.  Seriously.  Stop saying these two have no character because they have a lot of it.

~ Appearance, musical.  Kurt has shaggy hair, a white shirt with red sleeves, and the jacket.  Ram has trimmed curly hair, a striped shirt, and the jacket.  Ram is taller, but Kurt has more muscle.

~ Appearance, movie.  Kurt has styled light brunette hair, brown eyes, a white shirt, and the jacket.  He is also seen sporting a jean jacket in the forest scene.  Ram has the same hair color, but his is shaggier/messier in the front.  Ram has blue eyes, a striped shirt, and the jacket.

~ In the movie, Ram has an established relationship with McNamara.  She invites Veronica to double date with her, convincing her to come along by saying that Ram has been sweeter since Chandler’s death, consoling her in her time of grief.  With this, we see that Ram might have a more human side to him.  That, and Kurt also relies heavily on Ram for dates with girls.

~ Continuing with the Ram might have some humanity topic.  He had no idea of the note that Chandler passed along.  When Martha showed up uninvited to his party, he didn’t kick her out or make her leave.  He told her that she was acting weird (which she was) and then showed disgust at the lack of alcohol she brought.

~ Football, bitches.  Kurt is a quarterback, Ram is a linebacker.  Kurt wears a cute leg thing.  I don’t know shit about football, but those are their positions.  Obviously means they’re athletic.

~ In the musical, Veronica reveals that Heather Chandler was the only one able to control them.  This means Kurt and Ram were not immune to the fear that Chandler struck in most of the student body.  They were just as much her minions as McNamara and Duke.  Also evidenced by Ram going over to try and deliver the note to Martha.  (Gross, vag talk.)

~ As if it wasn’t obvious, Kurt and Ram are very vain people.  Evidenced by Kurt having no attraction to Veronica before she gets her makeover, and suddenly wanting to fuck her afterward.  Ram also calls Martha a lardass.  Not really to do with being vain, but just like most stereotypical guy characters, they show an obvious disgust for the female body as we see when Chandler says that Martha wanted advice from her gyno.

~ Kurt is smarter than Ram, as Veronica states in Beautiful.  This leads me to believe that no matter how codependent they are, Kurt is kind of the leader.  I also think this because in one of the OG cast bootlegs, Kurt explains that he’d be the meat in the ‘Heather, Veronica sandwich,’ and Ram says he’d be the ‘Pickle on the side working the video camera.’

~ Ram thinks Bo Diddley is hot.

~ Kurt and Ram cannot beat J.D. in a fight, even when working together.

~ Kurt and Ram’s dads are at the very least emotionally abusive as seen in the scene before Big Fun.  Upon calling his father dude, Kurt is held by their dads and verbally harassed/humiliated.  Then after they throw him to the ground, they yell at Ram and scare him into flinching/falling back.  

~ Kurt and Ram’s dads say, “Hold his arms,” and, “Punch it in,” which leads me to believe that Kurt and Ram learned most of their behavior from their fathers.

~ At their funeral, Ram’s dad is the one to accept them being gay first.  Of course, this brings me to another point many people seem to forget.  Kurt and Ram were not gay.  And them being "gay" is the only reason anyone really cared that they died.  No one was sad about their death, and instead turned their death into a movement for equal rights.

~ Not really character stuff, but Kurt tried to dance with Ram during Big Fun and Ram shoved him away.

~ The two of them aren’t good guys when they’re wasted.  They force themselves onto girls as seen with Ram with Duke during Big Fun, and the both of them with Veronica during Blue.

~ Speaking of Blue, Kurt and Ram are very easily tricked seeing as they aren’t all that smart.  Toss them some booze and you can tame the beasts.

~ Blue Reprise.  Let’s talk about this real quick.  Kurt and Ram told everyone that Veronica went down on them even though she didn’t.  Dick move on their part, I’ll admit it.  But no one ever thinks of the reason why they did it.  Most likely they were hurt and embarrassed after being rejected, and lashed out because of that.  Doesn’t excuse it, but I think that’s probably why they did it.

These are my musical ships in a kind of happy/modern AU. The art is mine. 

Also me, internally: Kurt and Ram are bad people that should not be romanticized in any way, shape or form. They aren't even really gay. Keep them away from the community.