Kunidazai feels like the embodiment off “I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you” (Dazai) “No” (Kunikida.)
Dazai is fully capable of killing someone without remorse and he sees how hard the right thing can be on Kunikida’s heart.
He would ask, he would plead to be the one to take that burden away from him. To do the immoral act without hesitation if it meant letting his partner take the easy way out for once.
To give him the chance where for one moment the world and all his self imposed chains won’t weigh him down. Reassuring him that there won’t be so much as a speck of blood on him. Do not fret for my conscious for what is a drop in an ocean that will never be clear.
But Kunikida doesn’t let him.
He won’t no matter how difficult no matter how painful it is he will do what he knows is the right thing. He will hold himself by nothing but his own word till he breathes his last.
And he would never let Dazai dirty for his hands for him and undo all the good he’s done. His heart couldn’t bare seeing his partners eyes dull into darkness when he’s grown to cherish the light within him, even with all those shadows.
Dazai would so readily throw everything he’s built himself up to me to dawn the horrors of his youth if it meant Kunikida could sleep easy for one night. He was always so moved by those he holds dear that aspect about him has never changed.
He asks anyway because he has to and he waits for Kunikida to refuse him. He holds him in his arms every night. Feels his head pressed against his own blackened heart and will himself to be everything Kunikida believes he is.
And instead of taking a life Dazai does all he can to keep this precious one alive.
