summary: in which you have to go through a painful process of your own family shattering
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āMommy!ā you heard your ten-year-old daughter yell and ran up to your room. The bed shifted as someone jumped on you. You groaned loudly while your daughter shook you awake.
āYAY NO SCHOOL!!ā you heard your son yell out of joy. He was only two years younger than his sister. Your eyes widened and you looked at the time. Oh man! The bus will arrive in less than 20 minutes. You jumped out of bed, grabbing the two and dragging them into the bathroom. āAlright, you two will brush your teeth now. Ahran! Make sure your brother doesnāt create a mess. I want your teeth to shine brightly, alright?ā you rattled off without pausing once. Spotting a small scrunchy, you grabbed it and tied your hair into a messy ponytail. As long as your hair wasnāt annoying everything would be fine.
You ran downstairs to prepare their bento boxes. You turned on the rice cooker and started to cut some vegetables and fruits for their lunch. It was a race with the time and you had to be really fast. You heard growls from upstairs and sighed when you heard a loud sound of something falling. You ran upstairs and could literally scream.
āWhat are you two doing?ā you looked at the mess they created in the bathroom.
āMom, Junsun is getting on my nerves, he splashed water on meā¦ā Ahran mumbled, pouting in front of you. You shut your eyes, preventing yourself from yelling at them because of your lack of time.
āCome on guys 10 minutes!ā you three ran into their room and you helped your little son change into his clothes while your daughter wanted to do it on her own. You brushed their hair and helped them to put on their jackets. The bus stop was in front of your house and you were happy when you made it in time. Just as you saw the bus, something popped up in your mind.
āOh no ā¦ā you turned around, leaving your kids at the bus stop to run into the kitchen. Grabbing the completed bento boxes to ran after the bus. The bus driver spotted you from his outside mirror and waited. You hoped into the bus, not caring that you were in bare pajama and didnāt even wash your own face. You thanked the bus driver while he nodded. Giving your kids their lunch you kissed their cheeks and hoped out of the bus, waving at them.
You smiled to yourself as you returned to your house.
Your husband Min Yoongi wasnāt home. He went to work earlier than usual even though it has already been more than a month that he left early and came home pretty late. Sometimes he would pick up your kids from school and other days they spent time together without you. You didnāt blame them, though. It was more important for your husband to spend more time with his kids than with you. You were an ordinary housewife. While the two were married you still worked hard, to help him earning money to lead your own household. Once you were pregnant he didnāt allow you to work. He wanted to be a good husband and father for your family.
Ahran was born and you two shared the happiest moments in your life. She completed you two. You two had many up and downs in your marriage and fought a lot, even while you were pregnant. After she was born everything changed to better. Thatās what you thought actually. Ahran wasnāt even one year old and your old habits returned. You sometimes regretted your choice in marrying him so fast but you didnāt want to make any choices because now everything was different. Throwing away a marriage would be easier if both sides agreed and if there was no child. Just as you thought about letting go the doctor told you that youāre pregnant again. You saw it as a light in your empty and dark world. He would be the reason for you two to fight for your love and marriage. Junsun was the jewel of your house. Of course, kids should never be used as a pretext to save a marriage but you didnāt want your kids to feel lonely and have divorced parents at their young ages. Everything went well at first but you and Yoongi lived yourself apart. It was hard to not argue with him once you two were left alone. You were afraid that once your children will hear your arguments that is why you try to ignore the urge to talk back to him. You knew that it was hard to save your family but you wanted to fight for your children. You would sacrifice yourself for the sake and happiness of your children but you doubted Yoongi infighting as well. He already gave up and you knew it.
At home, you cleaned the mess in the bathroom first. Pulling a bandana over your forehead you started cleaning the whole house since you had nothing to do. Sometimes you would feel so bored but you knew that even your friends were working and had no time. Most of them werenāt married and the ones who are married donāt have children yet. As you were cleaning the kitchen you felt your vision getting blurry. Itās not the first time that you had dizziness. Itās been already a month that you suffered from headaches, dizziness, fatigue, and inefficiency. Thatās also the reason why you have to rush every morning. You donāt feel good and powerful to wake up. You believed that it was the stress which you had to suffer from. At home, the kids and of course the issue with your husband. You bit your lip reaching for your phone. It felt like you would collapse any minute. You clicked on the caller ID of Yoongi who was probably working right now. He didnāt pick up your call and you ended it. You put your phone on the counter and grabbed a glass to drink cold water. It relaxed your senses and you sat down on the chair. You should eat something but you had no appetite. Sometimes you forced yourself to strengthen yourself Suddenly, your phone rang. You picked it up without looking at the caller ID.
āHello?ā you mumbled questioningly.
āHey,ā a female voice exclaimed and you looked at the caller ID which showed Yoongis.
āExcuse me ā¦ but do I know you?ā you were pretty calm.
āNoā¦ no, you donāt but soon you will know. He was always so hesitant at telling you thatās why I decided to-ā you cut her off, not being able to understand a word.
āWhere is my husband?ā you asked, wondering why a stranger called you.
āEx-husbandā¦ā she corrected you and your mind went blank. You ended the call as soon as possible and stood up. Feeling your throat burning and your eyes filling with tears.
You threw your phone at the counter, letting it ring over and over again. You went upstairs to hop into the bath. Letting the hot water flow in the bathtub. You removed your clothes, feeling the cold breeze of air touching your bare skin. You lost an immense amount of weight but you blamed it on the stress which prevented you from eating. Thatās why you had to force yourself to eat.
Everything was already so clear for you to be surprised by the situation. But it still hurt that your effort didnāt matter. It made you sad that he didnāt think about your kids as much as you thought about them and their feelings. The puzzle was complete now. Why he left early and came home late. Itās been already years that you two had shared your last physical contact. The last time you truly made love and felt the passion. After he went distant you waited for him to give in the divorce papers. It was needless to fight anymore because you lost all of your strength already.
It was sad that the last memories of you two would be nothing but hurtful.
You hoped into the bathtub and leaned back, putting your head on your neck. It felt refreshing. You always took your time to the bathroom and it was already getting a little darker outside. You showered and went into your room to change yourself. You had a towel wrapped around your body and pulled out some clothes.
āYou showered?ā you heard a deep and familiar voice asking. You turned around to look at Min Yoongi who wasnāt even looking at you. He was searching for something in the drawer. You nodded, knowing that he still saw you from the corner of his eyes.
āYouāre early ā¦ā you mumbled putting on your clothes. Having a clue that he came early to confess because he probably found out about his new affair and wife sharing a conversation.
āI had to get something ā¦ā he mumbled and cleared his throat when you sat in front of your mirror to brush your hair.
āI believe there is more ā¦ā you said when the room filled with an awkward silence.
āAre the kids in school?ā he looked around the room and you nodded. He scratched his neck and stared at the movements of your hands. He bit his lip.
āY/N ā¦ itās been already so many weeks and the cold ice between us still didnāt melt. I want you to know that I didnāt cheat on you-ā you cut him off, feeling the hot tears filling your eyes.
āYoongi ā¦ I only wonder how you think about starting a new relationship when even our relationship is shatteringā¦ā it hurt to see that someone you truly loved had no interest in you anymore.
āThatās not the same ā¦ā he started but again you cut him off. It was another habit of yours and you knew that you two would argue any minute soon.
āYou didnāt even think about your own children Yoongiā¦ You went after your own desire. Iām okay with you not loving me anymore because, to be honest, I am sick of fighting for someone who doesnāt even show slightly effort in saving our relationship. Itās already over Yoongi. It was over even before our kids ā¦ā you said, looking to the side.
āI am sorry Y/Nā¦ā you let out a sarcastic chuckle. It was the first time you heard him apologizing for something he had done.
āI donāt know what you feel sorry for. The fact that you already moved on, the fact that you want to leave your family behind? That you donāt care about the kids-ā he cut you off, getting angrier.
āOh stop it already! I Ā love my children. Theyāre my everything and I would never let them go. Itās just that we both see that nothing works out for us and it is the best to end it before we two destroy ourselves. Itās for the best ā¦ā he said. The topic of him meeting a new girl was totally unnecessary for you because you cared about your kids more than your own happiness. You couldnāt even express any sad feelings towards him. It was anger which filled up your whole body but you maintained calm.
āSo you wanna divorce?ā you murmured. His silence was louder than a hundred words. So he gave up your family without even doubting himself.
āAlright,ā you put the hairbrush on the table and stood up āLetās divorce.ā
