#kowat

Chapter 116, that scene with Fen, was HEARTBREAKING. I was yelling from the start to walk away, because there's no winning an argument with a Shard. but the narrative must go on

Jasnah tried her damnedest to protect Thaylenah but it wasn't enough. Because ultimately it wasn't down to a battle of logic and wits, it was a battle of emotions and trust. And honestly I'm not even sure there was anything Jasnah could have done to make Fen trust her enough

Like... Todium asked her if she'd sacrifice Alethkar to save Thaylenah and accused her of lying if she said anything but no, but she already proved she would. Because what did the Kholins do during the capture of Kholinar? Jasnah was queen when they chose to abandon Kholinar because they knew it wasn't favourable for the rest of the alliance. They followed through on Herdaz even though it was strategically bad because of an oath they made. I have little doubt at the end of the day if Jasnah thought she had a better chance to save Thaylenah than Alethkar, she would.

And that's particularly if she considered Queen Fen a friend. I don't think she did, nor even entertained the idea Fen could possibly have liked her except for her strategic value. Why else would she have been so shocked that Queen Fen all but said she considered Jasnah a friend? That she wouldn't have been able to turn her back on Kholinar and that she gave Jasnah the benefit of the doubt when Todium implied she was working for him?

Wit and pen pals aside, Jasnah's always been on her own. She had her family, of course, but her role has always been the quiet protector, the genius who never needed their coddling. She's been called cold and heartless and so that's the part she has to play. No matter how confident and powerful you are, constantly being alone will wear on you. It will make you doubt that someone, particularly a political ally, could truly, truly like you. Something something "When Jasnah spoke her mind, people hated her."

I think the revelation anyone cared or trusted her shocked her. And of course, it was automatically twisted into a punishment, rather than a blessing.

I think we're seeing Jasnah at a low point right now, and that will carry into Book 6 if not most of era 2. Her inability to present anything but her perfect facade and rely on other people in, her eyes, lost her Thaylenah. She didn't seem to take any respite in being able to salvage the situation at the Shattered Plains, and she was clearly unraveling by the end of WaT.

Everything Jasnah did was out of love for her family, but it wasn't enough. Everything she did to protect them was used against her. She couldn't stop her brother from dying or his son becoming a pawn in Todium's game. Her mother is asleep, possibly forever. Her uncle, the only person she trusted to comfort her after her father's death, is dead, too. She's separated from her cousin Adolin, and Shallan. She has Renarin, but that doesn't make those losses any less painful. Because in her heart, Jasnah has failed at near everything she tried to do. And in one fell swoop, she's the oldest surviving Kholin—the one everyone will look to, despite having failed the most. Can they still rely on her?

How responsible must she feel for not just the loss of Thaylenah and the Shattered Plains, but for everything? How much of her and Renarin's decision to immediately set up a ruling council is not out of practicality, but out of fear she's no longer competent to rule? How can she trust her own judgment anymore?

I hope we get to see Queen Jasnah and Queen Fen rebuild their friendship later on---Jasnah truly needs it. I think she feels too much responsibility for her family, living and dead/comatose, to truly rely on them. Wit was the closest she had to any kind of confidante, and in her own words... "They were bad for one another—but at this moment, all she wanted was someone to hold.” Now, she doesn't even have that.

I think if anyone can pick herself up and put herself back together, it's Jasnah, but it's not going to be an easy journey getting there.