#kotep

“Come on!” Kanter yelled, already running away from the Imperial complex. They had gotten the intel they needed, now they just needed to get out.

“I’m coming!”

Glancing over his shoulder, Kanter grinned at Arlan – his friend, and his brother-in-law. He may not have originally liked the kid. In fact, there was a time when he thought no one was good enough for his sister. But Arlan had proven himself. And not only that, he had also become a good friend.

Arlan grinned back at Kanter. Nervous excitement shone on his face, the only kind of thrill you could get from doing something dangerous for the greater good. It wasn’t something that came easily for most, but Arlan had learned and now he was quite capable in the rebellion.

Kanter pushed aside his thoughts and refocused his mind on this mission at hand and his gaze on where he was running.

Then the missile struck.

The force of it sent Kanter flying. Heat scorched his back and the ground slammed into him. Ringing filled his ears. Everything seemed disoriented and out of place. Debris fell from the sky and smoke rose from the impact. Kanter’s chest restricted as he tried to breath, but his body wasn’t complying. Fear tried to engulf him, but he forced his muscles to relax. After a few more seconds, he was able to draw in a breath of the gritty air. One breath, then two. After five, he could breathe regularly again.

“That was a close one,” he said, laughing a bit to try and shake off the shock of it all. Arlan would need something to calm his nerves after what just happened.

There was silence for a few seconds and worry slowly found its way into Kanter’s chest.

“Arlan?” he called out as he forced himself to sit up, ignoring the pain in his back. Narrowing his eyes, he searched through the smoke, looking for his brother. But he couldn’t spot him.

“Arlan!” he called out again, biting his lip he took a breath then stood before making his way towards the center of the explosion. Maybe Arlen was unconscious, he would need Kanter’s help. That had to be the reason he wasn’t answering. And that’s what Kanter kept telling himself. Even after he found Arlan’s jacket burned and charred, even after he had walked through all of the impact zone. He had to be okay, he must have lost his jacket along the way. That had to be it, he had to be okay. He just had to…

“Kanter!”

Only the sound of Petro’s voice broke Kanter out of his insistent searching. He looked up and saw the mission’s leader narrowing his eyes at Kanter.

“What are you doing? Where have you been? There are troopers heading this way, we have to go now!” Petro said, glancing over his shoulder as he spoke.

“I can’t leave without Arlan,” Kanter growled, not caring that he could be in danger, not willing to admit what his heart already knew.

“Well where is he?” Petro said, irritation growing in his voice.

“I don’t know! I’ve been looking for him!” Kanter snapped, fighting the truth even as Petro looked around and took in the crater, the debris.

“Kanter…we have to go,” Petro said, his voice losing some of its edge.

“No, not without-” Kanter’s voice cracked, he couldn’t give up, not yet. Arlan couldn’t be gone…

“He’s gone Kanter, we can’t stay here any longer.” Petro walked over to him and grabbed his sleeve, as if threatening to drag him along. Kanter knew he would if he had to.

Pain and guilt gripped Kanter’s heart as the words settled over him. The words he knew where true, but that he didn’t want to believe. He didn’t want to leave, he wanted to keep looking, but when Petro pulled on his sleeve he let himself be lead away.

On board the ship someone tended to Kanter’s back, but he barely felt the pain. He didn’t feel anything. This couldn’t be happening. Arlan still had a whole life ahead of him. He was going to be a father. He needed to see his son grow up, he still had so much to do. But he was gone…

Because I couldn’t protect him. The words ran around in Kanter’s head again and again. All the way back to base, all the way home. It was his fault, his fault that his brother was gone. The thought occupied his mind, only his body kept going, walking on autopilot. But then he walked through the door and saw Kotep.

She greeted him with a smile, as she always did. But then her eyes flitted to the door and her smile disappeared. “Where’s Arlan?”

Opening his mouth, Kanter tried to speak, tried to say the words he knew she needed to hear. The words that he didn’t want to believe. But they wouldn’t come.

Realization slowly grew on Kotep’s face, and as it did, tears built in her eyes and her legs gave way underneath her. Purely out of instinct, Kanter slid to the ground and wrapped his arms around her.

Her sobs drown out all of the sounds of the night. They tore into Kanter’s heart and he held her tighter, wishing that it was him that had been caught in the explosion instead of Arlan. He had always promised himself that he would do anything to keep Kotep safe, and he had extended that promise to Arlan. But he had failed.

Kanter never thought this day would come. Growing up, marriage was the last thing he thought of. And after joining the rebellion it seemed even further from his scope of sight. Not to mention that he never thought anyone would ever get his approval to marry his sister. And yet Arlan had proven himself. He loved Kotep and she loved him back. The only reason Kanter wouldn’t be for it was because seeing his little sister all grown up seemed too unreal. And in a way, she would never stop being that little twelve-year-old he had been put in charge of. But she wasn’t a child anymore. She was grown up and he had to let her live her own life, without him trying to protect her every second of the day, though he doubted he would ever stop worrying about her. Maybe that’s why he had to check in on her one more time before the wedding.

What he hadn’t been expecting was how beautiful she looked. Sure, he always knew Ko was pretty, but she never dressed it up too much. His eyebrows must have shot up in surprise, because she started laughing when she saw him.

“Yes, I do wear dresses occasionally,” Kotep said, sticking out her tongue playfully.

A chuckle escaped Kanter’s mouth and he shook his head in amusement. “I do seem to recall you dressing up on occasion…and then there were the times you tried to make me dress up too.”

“Oh you loved it,” she said, a teasing smile on her face. “That red dress would’ve looked great on you.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure mom would’ve loved it if I had put it on and torn it.”

Kotep laughed, but the humor in her eyes faded as she glanced down and stroked her dress. “I wish she was here...”

“Hey,” Kanter said softly, taking a few steps forward and grabbed her hands in his. “You remember what her and dad always talked about. How people are never really gone.”

“You never believed that though…” Ko said, looking up at him, tearing brimming in her eyes.

Kanter wrapped his arms around her and she returned the hug. “Just because I never believed it doesn’t mean it’s not true, Ko. And for what it’s worth, I think mom and dad would be happy for you, and proud of who you’ve become.”

Kotep leaned out of the hug and looked up at him for a moment before her eyes fixed on the floor. “You really think so?”

“I know I am,” Kanter said.

Her gaze flicked up again and she smiled. “Well, I guess I’m proud of you too,” she teased.

“Oh, you guess?” Kanter said, raising his eye brow.

She laughed and then hugged him again. Her grip tightened and after a few seconds he heard her whisper. “Thank you, for everything.”

Kanter hugged her a little tighter. “Anytime, Ko, anytime…”

Walking into the groom’s room, Kanter closed the door and looked up to see Arlan fiddling with a tie.

“Need some help there?” Kanter asked, walking over and taking the tie from Arlan. He was never good with formal wear, but he had some experience with it. He still remembered the day when he had gone to a ceremony at the academy and his dad had made sure he knew how to do his tie and look presentable. As he knotted Arlan’s tie he could still hear Caleb’s instructions in his mind, guiding each step.

“Ah, thanks, I know how to do this stuff but I just couldn’t get it right and-” Arlan rubbed the back of his head, messing up his hair in the process.

Kanter grabbed his hand and pulled it away. “Don’t go messing up your hair too,” he said rolling his eyes in amusement.

Straightening up, Arlan tried to flatted his hair some before fiddling with his suit, his hands didn’t seem to remember how to stay still.

Seeing the display of nerves, Kanter let out a breath then gently grabbed Arlan by his shoulders. “Deep breaths. It’s okay to be nervous, but you need to try to relax a little, okay?”

Arlan bit his lip and looked at the ground, he took a few deep breaths then spoke in a quiet mumble that was probably meant to only be heard by him. “Am I really ready for this?”

“Yes, you are,” Kanter said. “Look, today is just about you and Kotep. And I know you love her and care for her, I wouldn’t be letting this wedding happen if I didn’t know that. Anything you are worried about right now, that’s just the nerves, okay?”

Taking a deep breath, Arlan nodded, then looked up at Kanter, a smile forming on his mouth. “Thanks, Kanter.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Kanter’s mouth and he nodded. “That’s what brothers are for, now, let’s finish getting ready.” 

 When the music started playing, Kanter cast a glance at his sister, her eyes seemed transfixed on a potted plant in the corner of the room.

“Remember to breath,” he said as he held out his arm for her to hold.

She snapped out of her daze and laughed, but it was forced.

“Ko, relax. It’s okay to be nervous. Arlan is nervous too. Just don’t let that stop you from enjoying every little bit of today, okay?” Kanter said, readjusting a bobby pin in her hair as he spoke.

Kotep smiled and nodded before grabbing his arm gently. Their cue sounded and they walked forward.

The service was short and sweet and the reception was small, but it was just right for Kotep and Arlan. Kanter sat off to the side, watching as his sister danced to almost every song, a small smile tugging at his mouth. He had done his bit, now he was just watching, making sure everything ran as it should, and making sure his sister had the best reception she could have. So when she walked over to him, he quickly stood up.

“Everything okay?” he asked quickly, looking around to make sure everything was running smoothly.

“Yes, but I think you need to join in on the festivities more,” Kotep said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Kanter narrowed his eyes. “What are you planning?”

“Nothing, I just thought you might like to dance. Arlan already got you the perfect partner,” Kotep said, a teasing grin growing on her face.

Turning around, Kanter saw Arlan leading a familiar face towards him. Her hair was braided at the top, while the rest of it fell across her shoulders. She wore a simple pastel orange dress with white highlights. Kayla.

“Oh no, no, you know I don’t dance,” Kanter said, taking a step back as the room suddenly started feeling warmer.

“You dance plenty,” Kotep said, then grabbed his arm and pulled him along until he was standing next to Arlan and Kayla.

“Here you go Kayla, got you someone to dance with,” Kotep said, her mischievous grin still lighting up her face. “Have fun you two!”

“Ko!” Kanter called out, but her and Arlan had already rushed off and were dancing.

Kayla’s laugh reminded him he wasn’t alone. Taking a breath, Kanter tried to compose himself. He had gone on plenty of missions with Kayla before, he didn’t need to be awkward around her. It was just a dance, right?

“Sisters,” he said, rolling his eyes, hoping to cover up his nerves. Nerves he shouldn’t have. Kayla was his friend, his partner, nothing more.

“Yeah…” Kayla said, her voice lowered some and her gaze had fixed on the floor.

“Oh crap, I…I’m sorry I forgot,” Kanter said, mentally kicking himself for his fumble. Kayla never liked talking about her sister, he knew she still regretted not bringing her with her when she left the Empire to join the Rebellion.

She gave him a halfhearted smile. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“Dance you two!”

Kanter winced at Kotep’s voice, yelling over the music so everyone could hear her. “Umm, I guess we should dance?”

“Kotep probably won’t stop yelling until we do,” Kayla said, a real smile growing on her face as she grabbed his hand and lead him onto the dance floor. “You do know how to dance, right?”

“I know…a few steps,” Kanter said, trying to recall all that he had learned about dancing. Aside from the dance he had learned for the wedding – one Kotep had taught him – he only knew a few steps.

“Here, just follow my lead,” Kayla said, taking a few steps, making a small box with her feet.

Corellia was much different than Mandalore. Kanter had been expecting as much. But he hadn’t been prepared for the quiet. His mom’s old house was more secluded than any place he had ever lived. Sure, there was still the sound of the occasional speeder bike driving by, but compared to Corruscant or Mandalore, the lack of noise was almost eerie. It was the silence that made him realize this was really happening. He had really left with Kotep. They were on their own, alone. Life seemed to love dealing him all of the hard cards. First Caleb and now Dad…why did the universe seem set on tearing his life apart bit by bit? And there was nothing he could do to stop it. He hadn’t been able to help his brother or father and he couldn’t protect his mom either. But he could protect Kotep. Nothing was going to tear her away from him too. He would die before he let that happen.

Glancing up, Kanter looked at his sister – asleep on the old dusty couch. Most of the furniture was falling apart, he would have to buy more. Which meant he needed to get a job. The credits his mom had given him were a start, but they would only provide food for a few weeks. At least Kotep had a place to sleep, though. She deserved as much. He could deal with the floor, but she was still young. Too young to be forced away from her home, to lose her dad and mother in a matter of days. At least Mom was still alive, but she was lightyears away, she might as well be gone. Kanter didn’t want to hate her for sending them away. He knew she just wanted to keep them safe, but it was still unfair to Kotep. He could manage, he would have to manage. But he knew how hard it was moving around was at a young age. Even the smallest things could affect a young mind. He never wanted Kotep to have to deal with that struggle, but now she would have to. It was unfair, but then again life was unfair. Kanter just wished it was kinder to his sister. He could bear it, but she didn’t deserve that.

Letting out a breath, Kanter rested his head against the wall. He knew he should get some sleep. Tomorrow would be a busy day, trying to find work, checking to see if Kotep could enroll in school, and using what few credits he had to buy food and other necessities. But as tired as his body was, his brain was wide awake. The house was secure, but it was a new place and Kanter didn’t know it. He was never good as sleeping in new places. But he had gone off of little sleep before. That was one of the many good thing he learned during his time at the academy – how to be alert and go off of not enough sleep for days on end. That didn’t mean it wasn’t hard though.

“Kanter?”

Kanter’s eyes snapped open at Kotep’s voice, and he quickly got up and made his way over to the couch. Sitting on the edge of a cushion, he pulled a musty blanket over his sister’s shoulder.

“What’s up, Ko?”

In the dim light of the house, he could see her silhouette. Her gaze wasn’t focused on anything, she was deep in thought which made him wonder if she had ever actually fallen asleep.

“Do you think we’ll ever get to go home again?”

The words cut through Kanter’s heart. Fury burned at the injustice of it all, of his sister being forced to leave. If only he had put up more of a fight – maybe then she would still be back with Mom. Maybe he could’ve kept them both safe on Mandalore. No, he knew he couldn’t have. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew the Empire was stronger than him.

“I don’t know Ko…” he said, wanting to give her hope, but knowing that in the end the truth was better for her. “For now, this is home. And I promise I’ll try to make it feel like it, okay?”

Silence filled the room for a few moments, then, “You know what would make it feel more like home?”

“What?” Kanter asked, thinking of lots of things that would make this place more like a home, none of which were easily attainable at the moment.

“Dad’s song,” Kotep said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

A wave of grief washed over Kanter as he recalled all of the nights his dad had sung to him and Kotep, sometimes to help them sleep, sometimes to cheer them up. It had been years since he had heard it, but he would never forget the words.

Closing his eyes, Kanter let the memories wash over him, the melody played in his mind. Then he started to sing. It was something he rarely ever did. Singing wasn’t something he was very comfortable doing, even if everyone who had heard him said he was great. But he was willing to step out of his comfort zone to help Kotep tonight, he would do all he could to help her through this time. So he sang, only stopping when Kotep was asleep, a calm expression on her face.

A smile formed in the corner of his mouth. He didn’t know what was to come, but at least Kotep was okay tonight.