Eurovision 2010s: 240 - 236
240. Knez -Ā āAdioā
Montenegro 2015
And we welcome to the stand, the BEST SONGĀ Željko JoksimoviÄ has EVER composed for Eurovision š... and even then, I care not that much aboutĀ āAdioā, whoops. Itās a nice song though. It opens with the violin and youād immediately think:Ā āOh, another of those Boring Balkan Balladā BUT SHOCKER IT TRANSFORMS INTO AN ETHNOBANGER BEFORE THE MIDPOINT.Ā
As stated many time before, Joksimovicās brand of sanitized balkan noise is not the musical genre for me, but I can always work up some appreciation when a song en route to Tediumville makes a sudden 360 headturn to become moderately fun, andĀ āAdioā is exactly that.
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239. Eric Saade -Ā āPopularā
Sweden 2011
I... kind of like Eric Saade now?Ā
Well, ālikeā is a strong word, especially when you consider that Eric USED to be my *least* favourite of the 2011 Top five lmfao, and now heās the ONLY one I donāt outright hate. š Epic Morph King!
Eric really is the first recorded instance of The Sanna, aka the Hilariously Awkward Human Brought Down By A Godawful Song, and yes,Ā āPopularā is still a WOEFUL dumpster fire... but Eric sort of endears it to me?Ā You see, as proven by Ericās other, vastly superior Melfest entries (acquaint yourself with Manboy and Sting immediately if you havenāt yet), HE is a hilarious, sexually ambiguous doucegod who always gets embroiled in the most shittastic monsterpieces of the Kempecaust. I will never not laugh at the instances where he accidentally embarrasses himself with unfortunate choices of words, which fortunately is every time he picks up a mic and starts singing. š¤£ In short, itās a real shame what is by far the WORST of Ericās songs is the only one that made it to ESC, but oh well, cāest la vie.Ā
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258. Molly -Ā āChildren of the universeā
United Kingdom 2014
POWER TO THE PEOPLE. OH EH EH.Ā
Molly is a fierce pristine unicorn who sends my heart aflutter
and she brings an EPIC rock ballad that left me completely smitten-downe during the entire 2014 preshow. Fuck,Ā āChildren of the universeā still slaps. Itās an excellent song. The best song theyāve had sinceĀ āLove shine a lightā.
However, the live happened and I donāt think I could be more indiffierent? If I were ranking the preshow, or the song or the human Molly, she would be way higher (like, 38th, instead of 238th). However, thatās not what Iām ranking today. Iām ranking the live, and that one was pretty WHATEVER. Nerves + removing two backing singers + revamping the amazing, powerful staging into a static hennafest + adding a lot of pointless wideshots changed CotU from a gut-punching social critique parable into earthās most average song. LeSigh.Ā
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and now... the first DOUBLE WRITE-UP of this ranking :oĀ
237. Jedward - āWaterlineā
236. Jedward - āLipstickā
Ireland 2011 & 2012
Yeah, Iām not into the Jedward hype. I mean, theyāre ICONIC Eurovision entrants, but totally not my style or taste. I can understand why people like them or dislike them, but Iāve learned to block out their annoying ferrety noises.Ā š¤·āāļøĀ
I would have appreciated Jedwardās songs more if they had been in the opposite contests though. 2011 is a year of deafeningly loud EVIL trash and a mildly pleasant bop such asĀ āWaterlineā wouldāve been a nice breath of air, as opposed to āLipstickā which just gets lost amongst all of the other obnoxious toxic refuse. Conversely, 2012 is a year of underwhelming disappointment, whereĀ āLipstickā wouldāve made an EXCELLENT cat-amongst-the-pigeous to keep my soul ALIVE as everyone I loved died from incompetence. Sadly, this didnāt happen, so an average rank it is!
