Anxiety (didn't think I'd be one to suffer from it)
my body knows I'm anxious but my brain does not. my body doesn't like anxiety. my brain claims worry as a friend. still, body and brain cannot make sense of anxiety. so, one keeps me from breathing, the other keeps me from sleeping. one works against me, the other attacks me.
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so today as I was driving to my boyfriend's piano recital it dawned on me that I have a really awesome relationship with a really wonderful boy. and I was shocked all over again by how lucky I am.
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so we're in the third year of this ridiculous boy band okay and here they are releasing this new single Best Song Ever and it's like each one of them has grasped which part they play in this band and they have now mastered that part. like each one of them has their thing that they do best and in this song they have figured that out and put it all together and its incredible. it is captivating like that wasn't just some catchy tune that a group of people put words to. no, that song, i have only heard it once, but it's gonna be huge like they know who they are now and it's not even a serious song but it's just like. to see how much they've grown it's just. like they aren't just pretty faces, they have mastered their talent.
Notes: Marley and Ryder share a special moment together.
Ryder: walks into Marley's room quietly, trying to hide the bright smile on his lips but failing. "Hey..."
Marley: smiled widely, "Hey yourself.." She said as she invited him over to sit next to her on the bed.
Ryder: smiles softly before walking over to the bed and sitting next to her. He rubs the back of his neck and bites the inside of his cheek nervously. "So I talked to Kitty...."
Marley: could tell that he was nervous, and automatically assumed the worst when he mentioned the pretty little blonde girl. "A-about what?"
Ryder: bites his bottom lip gently "about us." He gulped and looked towards her "I kind of told her how much i liked you. I hope you don't mind..."
Marley: let out a little sigh of relief as she looked back up at him, "Of course I don't mind," She said shyly as a blush spread across her face again, "I like you too."
Ryder: reaches out for her hands, gently taking it into his, a huge smile on his face "She told me to tell you what I was thinking.... you want to know what I'm thinking Marley...?"
Marley: felt her heart skip a beat as she reached out an took her hands in his. "W-what are you thinking?" She said as she looked at the ground and used her other hand to comb through her hair.
Ryder: He smirked gently at the small girl and pulled her closer. "I'm thing that you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen or met. That I think you have a lot of hurt in your past that maybe I can help you forget. And I'm thinking I want to take you on a date."
Marley: sat speechless for a second, looking into his eyes and holding her gaze there. A smile spread across her face like a wildfire, she'd never been complimented like that before. She quickly nodded her head and bit her lip, "I'd...really really like that."
Ryder: looked back into her eyes, her eyes somehow warming his inside and making his cheeks blush gently. He gently tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "How does a walk in the forest tomorrow night sound? I might even get you flowers." He winked softly at her
Marley: pulled herself a little closer to his body, "That sounds perfect, actually." She chuckled as she diverted her eyes shyly away and toward the opposite wall. "You sure do know how to make a girl feel special."
Ryder: chuckles softly. His face so close to her that his hot breath hits her neck. It was weird how turned on she made him without even trying. He smirked gently "You're not just any girl. you're special, you deserve to feel like what you are."
Marley: felt her smile widen uncontrollably, and she leaned in closer so she could murmur softly in his ear. "Do you wanna know what I'm thinking?" She squeezed his hand while letting her thumb run over his knuckles.
Ryder: groans softly, a million thoughts swarming into his find as his eyes grazed over her soft lips. "I really hope it involves kissing you, because that's all I can think about right now...." He sucked in a breath and bit his lip flirtatiously, looking back into her eyes.
Marley: giggled softly, she looked up at him with a rare glimmer in her eyes. "I'm thinking that...being in your arms is the safest place I've even been. I think that you know every single way to make me smile, even when I'm scared to death. And I think that kissing you sounds amazing right now."
Ryder: smiles softly and leans into her, closing his eyes gently as his lips meet hers. He kisses her slowly, their lips fitting together perfectly and fireworks going off in his head.
Marley: let her eyelids shut lightly as he gently pressed his lips against hers. She was right, it was absolutely amazing. Marley let one of her hands reach up and lightly rest on her neck as she felt the entire room spinning around the two of them.
Ryder: holds onto the sides of her waist gently, pulling her body closer to his. it was the best feeling in the world, and he wanted more, but he pulled back gently. He smiled brightly and looked up into her still shut eyes, chuckling softly. "wow...."
Marley: couldn't tell how long the kissed lasted, whether it was seconds or hours, but she knew that it was totally...awesome. She was taken aback when he pulled away, "Did I do something wrong?" She asked worriedly
Ryder: chuckled gently and shook his head quickly. "no, no you're perfect...." He leaned back in and pecked her lips gently. "I just know with you that if I start, I won't want to stop... like ever."
Marley: beamed a little bit, leaning into him enough that the tips of their noses barely touched. "I don't want you to stop." She said matter-of-factly, teasing him a little bit.
Ryder: smirked softly and stood up, the teasing now up to him. He looked down at the girl and laughed softly. "I just want to take things slow, you know. You deserve romance. Even if we are in the middle of the Amazon."
Marley: had completely forgotten about the world outside of their little room, especially about the fact that the two of them were constantly in danger of being killed. She smiled and nodded at him slowly, knowing that she was safe for now, and that he was here.
Ryder: He leaned down and kissed her forehead then moved to whisper into her ear "Make no mistake. All of these boys need to know that you're mine. They better not even think about touching you..."
Marley: smiled at his over-protectiveness "I doubt they do," She said as she shook her head, "but you don't need to worry, I'm not interested in any of them like I am with you."
Ryder: smirks softly, his lips brushing against her earlobe. He gently pulls away and lays down on the bed, next to her, his fingers stroking her arm. "I know I just got here and all, but I'm really tired babe..."
Marley: thought her heart was going to beat out of her chest, but she tried to calm it down and she lied down next to Ryder. "It is getting late," She said quietly, "And we both need our rest."
Ryder: nodded gently and closed his eyes before pulling Marley close to his side, his body providing a pillow for her "Goodnight Mar." He said as he gently fell asleep.