#klynt

U'rahn fidgeted a bit as he played with his tie, disinterested in the greater party going on about him. Y’zel and Leon’s wedding would have been completely boring if Nyx hadn’t come along. In truth, he hadn’t thought of inviting her knowing he’d be unable to do more than envision them up at the pulpit instead of the two grooms. It did help that there seemed to be a lot of aerobics involved at an Ishgardian wedding. Anytime he envisioned her in the lovely ice-blue dress, the thought was interrupted by needing to stand, kneel, sit, or call out in Halonic prayer.

Now at the reception and far from hearing bells, boredom had set in. Everyone seemed to be fawning over the couple, which he expected, but aside from offering to serenade the party later, now with Nyx, he felt out of place. Y’zel had been much closer with Jannie and Violet, and paid him little mind. Not that they weren’t friendly; however, it not being an official date or with something for him to keep him occupied, he found himself lonely and put off, even at a table full of people.

“Rahn. You are showing your displeasure,” Nyx mentioned, snapping his attention away from his tie.

“Oh. It’s uh…kinda boring. I mean, the music has been a bit of a downer so far. I think there will be something to dance to a bit later. Keith’s here so I bet his brother will show up and they’ll do some fun stuff.”

Nyx stared a moment. “G-Raha’s husband.”

“Yeah. Their daughter was one of the flower girls.”

“Yes. She distributed flowers rather vigorously and unevenly alongside Khloe.”

“Yeah. Seems like they’re little rivals,” he answered before leaning back in his chair, looking through the large slender windows of the Ouraux estate, “It’s gonna snow all day isn’t it?”

“Air pressure and elemental compass poles suggest the precipitation will persist. Rahn, if you are bored, perhaps telling me another story would be enriching for you.”

U’rahn perked up, smiling as the offer was laid out. “Yeah!? Well…What one though…I guess one that ends in marriage…and an unlikely pair kinda like Y’zel and Leon. Yeah! I got it,’ he explained, snapping his fingers before starting, “It was the perfect day…”

L’whood Nuhn flexed a bit in the mirror, grinning as he admired his physique while his fraternity brothers spread outfits across his bed.

“Try this,” T’hancred Tia laughed, tossing him his usual red sleeveless jacket.

L’whood furrowed his brow, shaking his head then tossing it back at the Tia. “Hey Hey! I can’t wear the same thing I do every day! I’m gonna pop the big question!”

A’lphinaud sighed, shaking his head, “It’s your favourite colour though. Besides, you don’t want to spoil it by being too showy afterall.”

“You’re right…something red then for sure. But let’s go with sleeves. Don’t need the guns out for this,” L’whood purred. 

“That a’boy,” T’hancred laughed, tossing over a nice crisp button down in U’ra- er L’whood’s signature crimson red.

The Nuhn beamed at his Tia brothers, starting to button up the shirt while A’lphinaud pulled out one of his own clip-on ties to accent it.

“She’s here! Guys she’s here,” J’raha shouted, running into the room and going to the window to point, the Tia and Nuhn following.

There she was, a beautiful Seeker with a white bob, sporting a black dress with a high slit. T’hancred whistled while J’raha covered A’lphinaud’s eyes. L’whood beamed as he watched U’shtola saunter up to the fraternity’s front door to ring the bell.

“Well boys. Your star Nuhn brother here is off to woo his lady into happily ever after,” he sang before flicking his tail and heading to the stairs.

“Go get him tiger,” T’hancred called out.

“Be sure to pace yourself. Don’t get too excited and blurt it out…and…and if she says no I’ll be here waiting up,” J’raha called out.

“Don’t jinx him,” A’lphinaud hushed.

“A’LPHINAUD TIA!? AHAHAHAHA!”

Alisae started to lose it across the table, having joined in near the start of the story. Her twin didn't seem all that amused, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he looked on to his sister.

“I doubt this A’lphinuad character has any resemblance to me whatsoever. It is just a name conveniently picked no doubt. There would be no reason for anyone to shield my eyes from gazing upon a beautiful maiden.”

“When the beautiful maiden in question can subdue you with a mere turn of phrase, you’d want more than your eyes covered,” Thancred chuckled, leaning against the table.

“ANYROAD,” U’rahn interjected, regaining control of the story.

Dinner had come and gone quickly, and with desert on the way, L’whood took his chance, taking U’shtola’s hand.

“Here’s to us,” he cooed, raising a glass.

The other seeker pursed her lips, hand withdrawing as she simply sipped at her wine. Returning her attention to her date, she sat back and crossed her legs. 

“Whood, there was a reason I wanted to come out here tonight.”

“Huh? Wait…didn’t I ask you out?”

“No, it was me. Again.”

“Really? Are you sure? I’ve been making a lot of plans lately. This was a pretty important date.”

“Yes, I am sure.”

“Really? I…could have sworn.”

“L’whood! Please, focus. I’ve asked you here to talk about our future.”

“Ah! Right! Funny you should say future,” he hummed, fishing for his ring in a pocket.

The woman narrowed her eyes then took another sip of wine before continuing, “You’ve been, fun, to say the least. Attentive, doting. The perfect gentleman.”

“Yeah Yeah! Your herrro!”

“Right. Hero. The thing is, I’ll be going to Sharlayan Law. I don’t need a hero. I need to be serious.”

“I can be serious!”

She pursed her lips, “My family expects me to become a Forum member someday…”

“Oh! That’s one of those robed guys!”

“Whood, please. If I’m going to do that I’ll need more than a hero. I’ll need-”

“A husband!”

“...Need to break it off here.”

L’whood’s ghost left him. The entire room was silent, his hand outstretched, ring in hand, ears drooped and lifeless.

“Y-You’re breaking up with me…?”

“If I’m going to be on the Forum, I need someone more Louisioux and not M’razh”

“You’re breaking up with me cause I’m …a Nuhn!?”

“That’s not entirely-”

“Then what? My muscles are too big?”

“Your muscles are fine,” the woman sighed, eyes rolling.

“You said you loved me though…I…I wanted to be with you forever…”

“I do love you. I just don’t see myself marrying you under the circumstances. It’s not like I have much choice in all this. Sharlayan Law was always going to be my destiny. You’ll see this was the right thing in time.”

“If we’re not together, then how is it the right thing?”

“It’s just about my future.”

“Because I’m not some hoity toity Sharlayan born…my dad was in the Company of Heroes! They’re still around! I think most people would agree that it's better than the Path of the Twelve!”

“I told you, I need someone…serious.”

“I was seriously in love with you…”

“If I might interrupt? Who is M’razh? I’m guessing a Nuhn from context, but that name doesn’t stick out like grandfathers…And if that Tia is supposed to be me, then why would he not have been A’ouisioux?”

“Ah, well. It’s not you! And M’razh is a Nuhn…though I guess not a very well known one outside Gyr Abania…” U’rahn thought.

“And then aren’t you the son of someone that was in the Company of Heroes,” Thancred asked.

“That is correct. U’odh Nuhn was in the Company of Heroes,” Nyx answered.

“Hey Hey! That’s not all that important! It’s about the love story!”

“Is it? This guy seems a bit pathetic. I can’t imagine anyone falling for him after that,” Alisae yawned.

U’rahn lowered his ears then glared towards the little red mage before shaking his head and continuing. 

“You’re back,” J’raha called out, holding out his arms for the other, only to be passed by.

“What happened? You look worse for wear,” T’hancred asked, putting his arm around the other as he lowered his tail sympathetically, “She said no.”

“Yeah…”

“It was some smooth talking Tia wasn’t it,” A’lphinaud accused from above.

“Get to bed,” T’hancred shot up.

“I just don’t understand what went wrong…”

“It’ll be okay buddy…your brothers got your back still.”

“Yes! And your front too,” J’raha laughed, coming in to hug L’whood while T’hancred held him from behind.

“Thanks guys…”

And his brothers did! They made sure he got out of bed, scrubbed up, and ate…but that’s as far as they could get with him. Going through the motions was all L’whood could muster for a time until one fateful day at their gym.

“I’ve got it,” L’whood yelped, looking up from a magazine over his thigh as he curled.

“What is it? What’s going on,” A’lphinaud asked, double pumping two 2 ponze barbells as fast as his little arms would take him.”

“This is the guy she wants,” L’whood announced, holding up a magazine.

T’hancred leaned in, coming off the treadmill with a towel around his shoulders. He squinted a moment before looking to the excited Nuhn.

“I think you need a break or to lay off the Delta Nuhn ale. I know you said she wanted someone mature but he’s….” T’hancred started while pointing to an etching of Montichaigne shaking his hand with a student.

“No not the old guy! The student with him. A law student! I could do it.”

And so, after a shower he hurried to his college counselor to declare his intentions.

“You can’t do this.”

L’whood’s jaw dropped as his counselor shook her head and looked over the resume again, “Sharlayan Law?”

“I have top marks though. My scores are undefeated!”

“The fact that you’re saying they’re undefeated, scores aside…Your major is in Adventuring. Sharlayan Law. I’m not sure Sharlayan Law will be impressed that you…defeated your Weight-Lifting 101 class…” the Roe woman sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose, “Do you have back ups?”

“No way! I’m going to go to Sharlayan Law!”

“Right…then you’re going to need letters of recommendation, glowing ones mind you, from scholars. And you’ll need to score at least nine-thousand on your LawSATs.”

“I had to judge a wet t-shirt contest once at a Chi Theta party once. I can handle anything!”

“...Get out.”

And he did get out! He got out and studied his tail off, reading night and day. His friends even helped him make his application essay, detailing his heroics in the context of bringing justice to the people around Thanalan U. And of course, with a bunch of etchings of him making shirtless heroic poses. Soon after, the big day came: his LawSATs came.

“WHOOD! They’re here,” A’lphinaud yelled, bursting into the Nuhn’s room along with his brothers.

“Let me see,” L’whood whooped, hopping over to tear the envelope open. 

The Nuhn’s ears and tail perked high, eyes sparkling as he looked up, “I did it Delta Nuhn brothers…I did it. I scored over 9000! I’m going to Sharlayan Law!”

“Actually, the score only goes up to one-hundred eighty,”Alphinaud quipped.

“Seriously brother! Must you insist upon taking the spotlight to make yourself known as the biggest brain in the room? Who cares? It's a storytale," Alisae groaned.

"Right. Sorry! Carry on U'rahn."

“Thanks…”

And so he went across the sea to the school he set his heart on, determined to win U’shtola back with his newfound smarts. He certainly turned heads, showing up in his cut sleeve shirt and pants that showed off his, er, seat while everyone else wore bland robes or suits. Heading down the hall for his first class, he spotted U’shtola chatting with some students. Taking a breath, he wandered past, tail swaying high so as to draw the eye.

“Whood?”

L’whood grinned then made a straight face before turning, “Shtola! By the Warden, I completely forgot you were going here!”

The woman pursed her lips, “You’re not here just to see me?”

“No way! I go here!”

“...You go where?”

“Sharlayan Law School.”

“You. You got into Sharlayan Law?”

“What? Like it’s hard. Oh…look at the time. I gotta head to class, but there’s a gazebo we could meet up at after,” he asked, checking his wrist.

With that, he beamed wildly while U’shtola looked to her friends confused.

“He…He wasn’t wearing a watch.”

L’whood didn’t catch the observation, tucking into his first class, taking up a seat in the front row. He pulled out his favourite bomb notebook and waited eagerly for the lesson to begin while others dragged out scrolls and tomes around him. His ears perked as the professor entered, striding in his white robes before pushing his glasses up into his golden gil-blond hair. 

“Hello, I am Professor Gage. A legal education means you will learn legal words. You’ll be taught to look at the world in new ways and question everything. The seat you’ve picked now will be yours for the rest of the semester…those in the front row, be ready.”

U’rahn swallowed, then thought a moment before fluttering his ears and giving the man a firm nod.

“The law is reason free from passion. Who said this?”

A pink-haired Tia in the back raised his hand.

“Yes, you there…U’zel is it?”

“A’ristotle Tia.”

“Are you sure?” the man asked.

“Yes?”

“Would you be willing to stake all your gil on it?”

“...I think so.”

“How about,” the man hummed before tapping a young woman wearing a carbuncle scarf on the head, “Her gil?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Then I recommend knowing before interjecting. The law has much room for interpretation, but none for self-doubt,” the man scolded before returning to his black board, “And you were right. It was A’ristotle.”

“Oh not you too,” Zoissette huffed, crossing her arms as she crossed her arms, furrowing by the twins, “You know very well it is Aristotoux”

“...who,” U’rahn asked, head tilting as he wiggled his ears.

“Oh for swives sake,” the shieldmaid huffed while shaking her head, “Continue.”

The professor was quick to get on with the lesson, scrawling out things on the black board.

“Now. I assumed you’ve all read pages 1-48 and now understand subject matter jurisdiction. Who can tell me about Gododo v. Stellenoux? …Let’s call on the gil row. L’whood? 

“Huh? Hey Hey! I didn’t get an assignment?”

“Zoiselle Jauban.”

A beautiful, glasses wearing Elezen woman looked up. “Yes sir.”

“Do you think it’s acceptable that Mr. L’whood is unprepared.”

L’whood turned, ears wiggling toward his classmate.

“No. I don’t, um… do not,” the Elezen answered.

“Would you support my decision to tell him to leave and return to class only when he is prepared?”

“I do agree.”

L’whood looked crestfallen, ears lowering. Gathering his things, he rushed out of the room while Professor Gage continued on with his lesson. Finding a bench in the gazebo, he plopped down, crossing his legs and arms as he stewed over being booted on his first day, unaware he’d interrupted another Mi’qote as she studied. This beautiful Keeper looked upon him, face painted black and white, as if to comment on the balance of justice.

“Are you unwell?”

L’whood looked up, tail twitching as he looked on to the beautiful Mi’qote. If the young man hadn’t been so foolishly in love with the woman who had sparked his journey to Sharlayan law, he might have immediately fallen for her big round eyes and neutral expression.

“We get it. She’s beautiful,” Alisae groaned, “Are all Seeker men this transparent? He almost sounds like Raha.”

Y’shtola drummed her fingers on her arms as she leaned against Zoissette, the Elezen shaking her head. 

“Just the ones that play out of their league,” the Archon huffed.

U’rahn chuckled a bit, face flushed as he looked to Nyx who simply stared back.

“I believe you have lost the focus of the story describing the beautiful Miqo’te in question. Perhaps continue with the dialogue and circumstances. You excel at those.”

“Right right. Okay…so then he was like…”

“Do they all put you on the spot like that?”

“Yes. The professors prefer the S’ocratic method.”

“S’ocratic! Really!? Oh…Never mind. Just get on with it,” Zoissette groaned, occasionally glancing down to the Archon resting against her.

“And if you don’t know the answer, they just kick you out,” L’whood asked in a huff.

“That is Professor Gage’s method. Correct.”

“Did he do that to you too?”

“No, however; I have been reprimanded for correcting my classmates and Professor Gage. I was reprimanded for my objection, though I believe his frustration was assuaged by my corrections being right. It does get easier. Who are your other professors?”

“U’mhitra, Blomstradi, and Stryker.”

The Miqo’te woman paused for a moment then turned her attention back to the brightening underclassman.

“Professor U’hmitra enjoys people who voice their opinions and help to create an enriching environment for other students to engage in debate. Sit in the back for Professor Blomstradi as they swing their arms around for emphasis and tend to throw chalk due to training as a dancer. Professor Stryker takes all her exam questions from the footnotes in the textbooks.”

“Wow wow! Thank you. I’m rrreally glad I met you,” L’whood purred.

“Professor Gage takes into account knowing the quotes he inquires about at the start of his classes. This will be factored as a bonus into your grade. This is classified information.”

“Gotcha. You’re a senior, right?”

Nyx didn’t speak, instead looking up as U’shtola sauntered over. Wordlessly, she stood then went on her way while the Seeker stared down at L’whood.

“Ah! Thanks again for your help,” the Nuhn called out before looking up to U’shtola.

“How was your first class,” the woman asked sharply.

“Pretty good until this Elezen lady made me look bad in front of my professor. But I’m okay now that you’re here. How was your summer,” he asked, patting at the space next to him.

“It was fine,” she answered before looking back as Zoiselle came and stood behind her, “Have you met Zoiselle?”

“Oh…you know her…” the Nuhn huffed.

“I’m er….I am her research partner,” the Elezen answered, brushing her hand over her hair, drawing attention to a beautiful earring.

“I think a little more than that,” U’shtola hummed, blowing upon the jewelry to make the Elezen flush.

“Did I just hallucinate…” L’whood said aloud, his cheeks also a bit pink.

“Zoiselle was my partner at prep school. We rekindled our research together over the summer. I had forgotten just how sharp she was with her tongue.”

“Shtola…um, U’shtola told us all about you. We’ve enjoyed hearing stories; however, I wasn’t aware that you’d be here.”

L’whood’s ears drooped, unable to tell if the Elezen was being condescending or trying to perk him back up.

“E-Excuse me,” L’whood breathed out before pushing past them and hurrying off. He wandered to his dorm to change into his gym shorts then hurried to a small local gym, needing to work out before he fell into tears. Finding a bench, he flopped back then found a ripped Roegadyn woman staring down at him.

“Looks like you’ve been havin’ a bad day. Need a spot?”

L’whood nodded, reaching up to grab the bar of the weight before starting to pump in reps, easily doing 300 ponzes in his depression.

“I worked really hard to get into Sharlayan Law. I didn’t go to spring break, or greek week, or anything just to read a bunch of old stuffy books hoping to get my girlfriend back and now she’s research partners with this really tall pretty girl and I’m pretty sure that means they’re super in love and I wish I’d never come!”

“After you went through all that swivin’ trouble?”

“What am I gonna do? They’re partners…or something more. I’m confused about it but they’ve exchanged jewelry! That’s gotta mean something!”

“You’re askin’ the wrong sailor. I’m with my guy eight years then all of a sudden he moves out on me.”

“What did you do?”

“Drank a lot then gained twenty pounds of muscle,” the woman bragged, kissing her bicep, “Asshat got the swiven ship though and took my precious Leviathan with him.”

L’Whood looked as the Roegadyn woman pointed to the wall where a mural had been painted of her with a small cat on her shoulder.

“I didn’t even get to go to his birthday…”

“No way!”

“What could I do? He followed his dumb-stick to the smoother seas before I could break him in half.”

“That’s terrible…the first bit.”

The woman nodded before helping the Nuhn get the weights back up on their stand.

“So what’s this Zoey got that you don’t? Three tits?”

“Ah. I unno. She’s really tall and smarter than me.”

“Is she as swol as you?”

“Huh? Well,” he started, flexing in a mirror and looking at his tail, “I’m not swol, just good genes.”

“Do you know what genes are,” the Archon asked up, nails digging into her arms as she glowered in his direction.

“Ah, well. You get them from your folks…” he answered sheepishly.

“You think they’re swiven pants don’t you,” Kylnt laughed, seeming to have pulled up a chair.

“Well…I uh…” U’rahn started, poking his fingers together as the table, save Nyx, began to howl with laughter.

“Keep goin’. Keep goin’,” Klynt beckoned, waving her hand with amusement.

As L’whood continued to flex with his new friend in the mirror, a tall Elezen entered, silver hair tied up high in a ponytail and package under his arms.

“Hello there,” he waved, “I’ve a package for you.”

The Roegadyn patron stumbled over, tripping over herself as she went to sign for the item. After scrawling quickly, the man gave them both a nod then walked out of the gym with a wave.

“Thal’s balls! Could I be any more godsdamned spastic,” she growled, chucking the package into the wall, “So…you sure this U’shtola is the one?”

L’whood gulped, looking to the crumpled box before nodding, “Yeah! I love her!”

“Well, if a guy like you can’t swiven’ hold onto his gal, then there isn’t any hope for the rest of us. Steal her back!”

“Right right! Ah! My name is L’whood.”

“I’m Clynt.”

L’whood perked up then nodded hooking forearms with his new friend in solidarity before returning to working out together. With a new found vigor, he steeled himself for more studying and went home to prepare for the next day. Having Professor U’mhitra, he put himself back in front as she started to speak.

“You will all be in competition for the top grade in this class. Those who rise to the top shall see themselves eligible for one of my firm’s highly coveted internship spots for your sophomore year where you’ll study Nymian Law and assist me on cases in both The Black Shroud and La Noseca. Let the bloodbath begin. Now then…let’s get started,” she said before looking at her roster. “Mr. L’whood. Would you rather have a client who uh…who had…”

“Is something wrong, Rahn,” Nyx asked, watching as U’rahn started to swipe away at his tombstone.

“Hold on, hold on. I forget the words…right. Here we go. Sorry everyone.”

“Would you rather have a client who committed a crime malum in se or malum prohibitum?”

“...Neither?”

“Why not?”

“I’d rather have a client who’s innocent?”

The room started to snicker a bit as L’whood looked about confused.

“Wouldn’t we all Mr. L’whood. Ms. Jauban?”

“Oh. Um. Malum prohibitum. The client would’ve…er, would have committed a small infraction as opposed to a heinous crime.”

Huffing, L’whood shot up his hand, “Can I change my answer? I’d take the heinous one…cause I’m not afraid of  a challenge!”

With that he huffed again then sent a look back to Zoiselle who simply tilted her head in confusion. The rest of the class went smoothly. His confidence was bolstered by the Professor who praised him every time he answered something thoughtfully. A spring in his step, he rounded to the Last Stand to grab some snacks then headed to Noumenon in hopes of joining in on U’shtola’s study group.

“Hey hey! I came with a bunch of goodies! Think I could squeeze in?”

“...What are you even doing here,” U’shtola huffed.

“I believe we already have a full party,” Zoiselle pointed out, gesturing to two other students across the table.

“Oh, I guess this was one of those sign up things.”

“It’s more of a perceptive people thing. As Zoiselle said, we are full.”

“Surely we could make room though,” the Elezen asked, scooting over to try and accommodate more space.

“We’ve already assigned tasks and started,” U’shtola quipped.

“I can help someone! If I’m gonna assist Professor U’mhitra next year I’ll have to get used to some gopher work on top of all my assignments.”

“Whood, please. There is no way you’ll have the grades to qualify. You’re simply not smart enough.”

L’whood’s ears perked then lowered.she

“Oh, I didn’t mean,'' the Miqo’te started, realizing she’d taken a step too far.

“Am I on island hemp or did I not get into the same law school as you did?”

“Yes, you did. Still…”

“Still what, we took the same LasSATs, and are in some of the same classes.”

“L’whood, I just don’t want to see you get your hopes up. You know how you get.”

The Nuhn stared for a moment, then shook his head, “I’ll never be good enough for you, will I."

With that, he turned tail and wandered off, passing by the Keeper he’d met the other day.

“Ah, here. Study snacks,” he said, putting the basket in her arms before heading out to the gym to work out with his new friend and have her drill him as he pumped iron. Over the next few months, he dedicated himself to nothing but studying. The hard days of Professor Gage’s class soon melted away, now keeping up with his studies while impressing Professor U’mhitra by challenging the other student’s arguments with his own so much so that she finally stopped him after class to chat.

“You’re applying for my internship, correct,?”

“Yeah yeah! Here, I even have my resume,” he breathed out excitedly, tugging free a nice crisp stationary. 

“It’s on cardstock.”

“And engraved. Makes it nice and bulky like me! Giving it a bit of an extra kick, y’know? See yah tomorrow!”

As he scampered off, the lady Keeper approached U’mhitra and handed her files.

“These are the O’thyka Tia notes you requested.”

U’mhitra just nodded, sniffing at the resume, “He sprayed it with his cologne.”

“I believe that is just his natural scent.”

“I see…Do you think he just woke up one day and decided, ‘I’m going to law school’?”

“No, but I bet one day he woke up and decided he was going to be a Nuhn,” Erick’s voice sounded out in the distance.

U’rahn looked around, ears twitching as he tried to find the source of the voice.

“You around boss? I thought you weren’t coming.”

A retainer sat down a tombstone, open with Erick’s number being live.

“I requested to be informed of any gossip pertaining to me. I had my man here dial in when your story started to ramp up. Where did the Professor Gage guy go though? There should be a lot more of him and his golden hair. He should help out more too. Maybe get a girl in the end. Perhaps he could also be a spy. The dead-”

The man was cut short, a mix of fingers pressing at the red call end button.

“Okay. So, now that he was all smarter and stuff…:”

Inspired by L’whood’s determination, Clynt set off with him to confront the man that had taken her coeurl, chatting about his recent victories in class as they wandered the Sharlayan docks.

“You showed up U’shtola? I thought you were tryin’ to outdo her ‘research partner’” the woman asked, using heavy quotation marks with her fingers.

“I couldn’t help it. It’s fun knowin’ stuff.  Besides, Zoiselle didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t gotta go out of my way to get in the way of her studies. It’s mainly just so Shtola can see how serious and cool I am now. Even Professor U’mhitra was impressed by my legal skills,” he bragged before stopping at a boat, “You ready?”

Clynt nodded, cracking her fists before hopping onto the deck.

Emerging from the cabin, a white-haired Keeper emerged. L’whood blushed a bit, the duality of his black and white eyes reminding him of U’mhitra’s beautiful assistant.

“What the heck do you want? I’m eatin’ dinner.”

“I want-”

“Wanted to come over and show me what I’m not missing?”

Clynt tightened her fists, so loud that it made L’whood jump on deck with her.

“Ioh’to Reighn”

“Who’s askin’?”

“I’m L’whood Nuhn. Clynt’s attorney. Ah…uh…Under Sharlayan law you and Miss Clynt here had a common law marriage which entitles her to the benefits of property law and equitable division of assets.”

“What,” the Keeper balked.

“Due to the fact that you retained the residence…er vessel, Clynt is entitled to a full ownership of the coeurl property in question and we will be enforcing said ownership immediately.”

“Huh,” the Keeper sounded, scratching his ears.

“Tell him, Clynt.”

“I’m taking back Leviathan dumbass,” she sounded, picking up the Keeper then slinging him overboard before letting the little coeurl run out and into her arms. The two soon took off running back up the docks while the Keeper pulled himself out of the water.

“We did it,” L’whood cheered.

“Navigator, that felt swivin’ good.”

“He’s still back there scratchin’ his ears.”

“Which must be a good vacation for his balls,” Clynt chuckled.

The two laughed then returned to the gym with the little cat to celebrate with a bunch of lifts and skipping leg day. Even Professor Gage had become impressed, when L’whood was able to pick up upon a famous saying by singer F’lhaminn while the rest of the class floundered through by naming famous Forum members instead.

Soon the school was abuzz, a high profile case landing in U’mhitra’s lap had brought her to decide on her internship placements early. To no surprise, U’shtola and Zoiselle had managed to secure a seat; however, the rest were in awe over L’whood’s placement with them. Excited, L’whood showed up in his best suit, ready to dive in and impress upon everyone just how smart and good of a lawyer he was becoming.

“Thank you for coming. You’ve all made it to the top. As such, we need to dive in right away. We’re defending O’thyka Tia, whose very wealthy Nuhn was found shot to death at their estate in the Goblet.” 

“Tribe politics?” Zoiselle inquired.

“You’d think so given the dynamic; however, he didn’t have a need for the Nuhn’s riches as he’s some sort of hunting prodigy that sells instruction scrolls and was poised to take over since he didn’t have a handsome hero cousin to lead the tribe instead.”

“Wait…O’thyka Tia….Of the Mole tribe?”

U’mhitra looked through her papers, shuffling them a bit, “Yes. You know of him?”

“He’s a Delta Nuhn! He wasn’t in my pledge class of course, but I used to go hunting in his parties in the desert before his scrolls took off. He’s amazing!”

U’mhitra stared, “Amazing…how?”

“Well, he could fight off three sandworms at once. I mean, I could do five, but most can’t even do one! He’s super gifted!”

“Well, he’s also most likely super guilty. He was seen standing over his Nuhn’s dead body,” the professor sighed.

“By who,” U’shtola asked.

“Er, whom dear,” Zoiselle corrected.

“His brother, O’khuba and a visiting tribesmen from Gyr Abania.”

“Maybe he just stumbled in on him?” L’whood asked.

“That’s what we’ll be selling to the jury.”

As the room sat on the information, the Keeper assistant wandered in, standing at attention behind U’mhitra.

“Apologies. I was detained by other business.”

“You’re fine. Everyone, this is Myx Whitesun, an associate. She graduated top of her class and is the former editor of the Sharlayan Review. No doubt you’ve seen her doing research on my behalf around campus.

“Or observing you all,” Myx added.

“You’re not even trying anymore, are you,” Klynt sighed, shaking her head as she stifled a chuckle.

“What? It’s a perfectly good name!”

“You do leave little to the imagination, my Nuhn friend,” Thancred chuckled.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Waters is referring to the likeness of yourself and companions in your stories.”

U’rahn flushed, “Hey hey! These are just coincidences!”

“They are all facsimiles.”

“....Face…smiles…?”

“Copies of us.”

U’rahn shook his head rapidly. “No no no. They’re not! Just a coincidence!”

Everyone rolled their eyes, save Nyx of course.

“Just move on,” Alisae huffed, sulking as she rested her arms on the table and sunk her chin into them.

“What about the murder weapon,” U’shtola asked.

“The gun is missing. The chirurgeon said he’d been dead thirty minutes when the cop arrived, giving the O’thyka plenty of time to stash it.”

“Hey hey! There’s no way Thyka could’ve done this. Hunting is exercise- exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy. Happy Tia don’t kill their Nuhns!”

“You don’t really believe he’s innocent do you,” U’mhitra asked.

“Of course I do,” L’whood answered, blushing a bit as Myx looked at him.

“Then we have a case,” the Keeper announced while the professor sat back in her chair and thought.

With that, the group made their way to Ul’dah, seeking out the prisoner in the dungeons below. U’mhitra took the lead, sitting across from O’thyka while everyone crowded behind her.

“You understand you’re on trial for murder, right,” the woman asked.

“I really didn’t do it! I walked in after my hunt, saw my Nuhn lying on the floor, checked his pulse, then screamed until O’khuba and N’zhet stumbled upon me.”

“Where they saw you standing over the body covered in his blood?”

“Why would I kill my Nuhn!?”

“Why does any Tia challenge their Nuhn? Wealth, Huntresses, Glory? All things the Sultanate will bring up at court.”

“He was my uncle! I loved him!”

“He was an old man not ready to give up his seat of power within the tribe. That’s not going to sound good to a jury, O’thyka. I believe you, but a jury is going to need an alibi.”

“I can’t give you that. And if you put me on the stand, I’ll have to lie,” the Tia whined.

“I believe we’re done for the day,” U’mhitra sighed.

L’whood frowned, tail lowering. As he went to exit with the others, O’thyka sat up, ears perked high.

“I know you!”

L’whood stopped, then pointed to himself, “Yeah. I’m Delta Nuhn and a big fan of yours.”

“Yeah, you went on some hunts with me. Took down…four sandworms on your own. Are you one of my lawyers?”

“It was five…and sort of.”

“Well thank the Warden one of you has a brain.”

L’whood smiled then motioned joyfully to the other before taking his turn to exit the room. Returning to Sharlayan, he went to Clynt’s gym, doing crunches together while Leviathan wandered about like he owned the place.

“I feel….so bad…for him…I mean…he’s in jail! ….And he’s innocent! ….And I’m the…only…one…who…believes!!!”

L’whood panted as he finished his set, hopping to his feet before thanking Clynt as she handed him a towel.

“That’s because they’re all swivin’ stiff ass mother - oh gods.”

Wandering in, the handsome Elezen wandered in, nodding to some of the other patrons as he sat down a package on the counter.

“Huh? What is it,” L’whood asked to Clynt.

“It’s him,” Clynt hissed before shuffling over to the counter, the Nuhn following.

“I’ve got a package,” he stated plainly.

“He does have a package,” L’whood chuckled.

“How are you doing today,” the man asked.

“Fine,” Clynt answered nervously, seizing L’whood’s wrist under the counter until it cracked.

The Miqo’te’s tail and ears snapped up as he felt the pain shoot through him while the Elezen just stared, silver hair glittering in the gym’s light. 

“I-I’ll sign,” the Nuhn squeaked out, taking a pen and scratching his name on it.

“Well, take care,” the man said to the two before making his exit.

“Oh swive me,” Clynt breathed out.

L’whood  shook out his sore wrist, “Is that it? Don’t you want to say anything else to him?”

“Sometimes I say ‘Okay’.”

“Have you ever considered asking him out?”

“What’s the point? Look at me?”

“I am. And I see a swivin’ beautiful, strong, sexy woman!”

“I’m not interested in the whole Nuhn thing, bub.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! I meant you’ve got the guns, you’ve just gotta read the safety manual,” he chuckled before stepping out from behind the counter, “I’m going to show you a little maneuver my old man taught me when I was a Tia. It’s got like…a 109% success rate in getting anyone you fancy’s attention when used right…and like, 75% rate on getting to go out to dinner. It’s the bend & flex!”

L’whood moved the center of the room, eyes on him as he bent over then came up and flexed, shooting out a grin so fine that his teeth gave a little sparkle. “That’s it. Just bend down to get something then snap into a hero pose! You try!”

Clynt wandered over, mimicking the motions, “Bend…and flex!”

“Good! Now, just flex your shoulders a bit more. Really make your muscles pop.”

“Like this,” a small purple haired Lalafell asked, moving into the pose before shooting off a wild grin.

“Exactly,” L’whood praised.

Soon the entire gym had joined in on the fun, everyone bending and flexing, and only a few people ended up hitting their heads on equipment. All in all, everyone left feeling pretty confident, especially Clynt and L’whood!

“Oi! Off the table right now! Lord Edmont will be furious with me if I return those with shoe scuffs,” Leonnioux huffed, hurrying over with a broom to swipe at U’rahn and Klynt as they demonstrated the pose.

“Sorry! We were getting into it!”

Leon rubbed his temple, “If it’s not one thing today it’s another. Have you seen Zel?”

Everyone pointed to the balcony.  Given directions, the groom handed Zoissette the broom and then hurried off to catch up with his bride.

“Heh. Right…so then…the trial,” U’rahn chuckled.

O’khuba had been put on the stand, with U’mhitra crossing him, shaking her head as he recounted his version of events.

“I came out from the springs to go visit Uncle, and saw him standing over my Uncle and called for the authorities.”

“Did he have a weapon in hand?”

“No.”

“Was there any reason for you to believe he had discarded a weapon?”

“Of course. He killed him.”

The courtroom began to whisper while U’mhitra rubbed her temples.

“Was there any evidence that O’thyka stabbed him?”

“Yeah. His dead body with the whole stab wound in it.”

U’mhitra folded her ears back then waved the other off the stand to have N’zhet replace him.

“What did you see when you entered his dwelling,” U’mhitra asked.

“I saw O’thyka standing over the body of O’odh Nuhn.”

“Was he carrying a weapon?”

“No, he was crying his eyes out.”

U’mhitra smiled then nodded, “So then he was upset over his dead Nuhn?”

“Sure. O’thyka is the most sweet, wonderful Tia there is. He’s been my pal since the day I became a Nuhn. We’re…very close,” he chuckled, putting his arms behind his head and flexing his pecs under a metallic dress shirt.

“A brief….a brief recess,” U’mhitra huffed, looking over the other for a moment before leading everyone out.

“They’re swiving,” Zoiselle groaned, shaking her head.

L’whood was taken aback. “There is no way a Delta Nuhn would ever…y’know…do that sort of thing with someone wearing something so shiny! Right U’shtola?”

“How would I know? Though…I do say, I cannot see those two together…Then again, some Seekers will do anything to feel like a Nuhn…”

“So because O’thyka is handsome and has a great body he’s easy? Not to mention he’d…y’know, probably not lift his tail if he was the one trying to play at being a Nuhn!”

“If O-Thyka did not commit the murder. Who did,” Myx asked.

“Obviously the jealous cousin,” L’whood huffed.

“He’s already in charge of all their coin and has the ear of the huntresses. He could have just challenged his Uncle for the position,” U’mhitra interjected

“All I know is that it’s not Thyka,” L’whood doubled down.

“Well that’s nice Whood, but we need an alibi,” U’shtola huffed.

The Nuhn huffed, crossing his arms then left to go check in with O’thyka, bringing him a bunch of jerky and protein powder as a care package. O’thyka was soon brought in, sporting a bright jumpsuit.

“Are you okay bro? You look sad…and very orange.”

“I’m just glad to see you,” O’thyka sighed, perking up, “And not that U’mhitra.”

“She means well. She’s really brilliant and all!”

“She better be for the gil.”

L’whood nodded then started to pull out the treats he brought. 

“I have some jerky, protein, some athletic supports, and of course the Enchiridion,” the Nuhn listed, holding up not the Halonic text but Muscle & Nuhnness. 

“You’re the best,” O’thyka answered excitedly.

L’whood nodded before dropping his ears low, “I’m here for another reason though. We really need your alibi.”

O’thyka’s ears dropped as well as he shook his head.

“I can’t Whood. You don’t understand.”

“Who could understand you better than I?”

“It’s so shameful…”

“But it’ll save you!”

“It’ll ruin me!”

“How?”

The two stared at each other for a moment before the Tia finally sighed and rested his chin on the table.

“I have made my fortune on my ability to teach Seekers how to perfect their bodies and hunt the sands for prey.”

“I know! Without you I’d have never had the courage to take down six instead of four!”

“Well…on the day of O’odh’s murder…I….I was staging hunts I’d already felled to make it look like I had taken down more than I actually had.”

“No!” L’whood gasped.

“I’m a fraud! I lost my Nuhn already, I'd rather just stay in jail than ruin mine and the tribe’s reputation…”

“Your secret is safe with me,” L’whood nodded before taking the other to his chest to hug.

Later L’whood returned to U’mhitra to reexamine the case with everyone else.

“Any news on U’thyka’s front,” U’mhitra asked as L’whood settled in.

“I went to get his alibi!”

Myx’s ears perked as she turned, looking over with the others.

“...Did you get it,” the lawyer asked.

“Yes.”

“...”

“...”

“And?”

“I promised him I’d keep it a secret. I can’t break the bonds of brotherhood!”

“Swive brotherhood! This is a murder trial, not some scandal at the fraternity house. I want the alibi,” U’mhitra huffed, slamming her hand on the table.

“I can’t give it to you. All I can say is that he’s innocent.”

U’mhitra let out a frustrated noise while the others shook their heads. Myx soon took a spot across from L’whood while the everyone else took their leave for a break.

“You can’t be against me too!”

“O-Thyka has not provided a substantial alibi. This would imply his guilt.”

“Why does that mean he did it,” L’whood pressed.

“He wanted to best the Nuhn of the tribe and makes a living by telling young men they are not fit enough. These are parameters for not being trustworthy given his circumstances.”

“That old man was wicked strong! Anything O’thyka boasted to do, the old man did twice over and didn’t brag about it. And then he never told me I wasn’t fit enough. He says if they feel they’ve worked their hardest, then they have.”

“This does not change that he is hiding something.”

“...You’re kind of being a butthead right now,” L’whood laughed.

Myx stared quietly a moment, eyes searching the playful Nuhn’s face. “I do not understand. How do I resemble a butthead?”

“‘Cause people aren’t always what they appear to be. You have to have a little faith and then you’ll be surprised.”

A hush fell over them for a moment, Myx continuing with her staring a long while before saying, “No one has ever called me a butthead before.”

L’whood blinked then quickly rummaged around in his bag, pulling out some jerky leftover from his visit. “I saved some for you.”

“Thank you,” she answered before eating it, seeming to not struggle to chew it, “It is delicious.”

“Heh. It’s really good. It improves one’s mood. It projects joy, kinda like you,” he hummed, cheeks turning a bit red.

 “Projecting joy is not my job function.”

L’whood laughed a little then stood up, “Let’s get something to eat before we go back to court.”

And so the two went off and had a very lovely lunch together and talked. L’whood told her of his dream to make a defense league for Nuhn who are discriminated against for various reasons…or called Tia. This amused Myx, though she reminded him there would be little to no legal precedent. Their date soon ended, and they made their way to court where the prosecutor had started to cross examine N’zhet.

“Can you tell us what this is,” a stern looking Elezen asked, holding a purple speedo up on a pencil.

“My uh…hunting outfit…”

“This is what O’thyka would have you wear when hunting?”

“Yes.”

“And are you or are you not having an affair with O’thyka Tia?”

The crowd murmured as N’zhet shifted in his seat.

“Define affair?”

“Have you and U’thyka have had sexual relations?”

“Fine. Yes! We have! He’s lifted my tail!”

The whole room gasped as they turned to O’thyka who shook his head angrily. Unable to get control of the room, the judge sent everyone out, with the defendant struggling and looking back to the legal team, “I’ve never! A Delta Nuhn would never hunt with someone who doesn’t wear the proper gear!”

“I believe you,” L’whood called out before being ushered out with everyone else.

Returning to their offices, they all went back to work, looking into anything to help the situation. L’whood falling asleep on a folder soon found Zoiselle gently tapping him on the head with some papers.

“Are you finished with the deposition?”

L’whood wiped the drool off his chin then nodded sheepishly, “Yeah, I read it a bunch.”

Zoiselle held the folder between the fingers, giving it a little shape before turning away, only to pause and look back.

“I..I um…I believe him too. I don’t…I do not think he had an affair with N’zhet.”

L’whood perked up, ears bouncing joyfully as he nodded, “Yeah yeah? Too bad you and I are the only ones though.”

Zoiselle smiled, “I still can not believe you did not tell U’mhitra the alibi.”

“It’s not my alibi to tell-”

“I know. I thought that it was…It was very brave of you.”

“Really? Thanks!”

As they had their exchange, T’hancred and J’raha burst in, scooping the other up chanting “Stag party!”

“What’s all this,” L’whood laughed, letting the two toss him about in the air as he made for the door.

“It’s my bachelor party! I beat my old man. I’m going to be a Nuhn,” T’hancred cheered, spotting Zoiselle and giving her a smile.

“Oh! You made a friend. Bring her along! The more the merrier and all that.”

“Me? Oh-...Oh no,” Zoiselle answered, shaking her head.

L’whood squirmed then fell out of the two’s grasp, rolling then landing on his feet. “Sorry guys. It’s case time. I gotta take care of this and I need to do a really good job. After it’s all over we can have a big party!”

J’raha sighed then relented, arm around T’hancred, “Your duty comes first. Call us though if you change your mind.”

“Brothers foreverrr,” T’hancred howled, walking backward out the door with J’raha in tow.

L’whood chuckled, looking at Zoiselle before she turned to go take her turn with the files. Feeling that he should at least let out a little steam, he took another set of files then headed to the gym to read while working out. As he did some curls and flipped through pages, the door chimed, the Postmog man wandering in toward Clynt.

“I’ve got a big one for you today. Can you sign,” he asked.

Clynt froze for a moment then swallowed before knocking her pen off the table. Reaching down, she started to flex while the delivery man looked over.

“You got it,” he asked before finding the Roegadyn flip up and smack him in the chin with her head, sending him backward.

“Seven hells,” Clynt groaned while L’whood hopped up to check on the passed out man.

“...You broke his nose.”

“I’m okay…really,” the man assured them, rubbing his nose while Clynt hid her face in her palms.

“Well, he noticed me. I maimed him, but he swiven’ noticed me.”

“It’s really fine. Really,” the delivery man echoed.

“Move your tail and let me see,” Clynt huffed, squatting down beside the man to check him out.

L’whood froze for a moment as her words echoed through his head. 

“I gotta go! I think you blew open my case,” he breathed out before taking off back toward the legal offices.

Spotting Myx, he jumped up and down to get her attention.

“L-Whood. We are about to embark for the courthouse. You are underdressed.”

“Hey hey! Forget that. He’s a Tia! N’zhet is a Tia!”

“What?”

“He’s a Tia. He is making it up and probably being paid off.”

“You have not provided any evidence.”

“Nuhn don’t lift their tails, they do the tail lifting! ‘Cause they’re supposed to be on top. And why isn’t he busy with the huntresses! He shouldn’t have the energy for that sort of thing!”

U’mhitra overhearing this shook her head and sighed. “I appreciate your legal theory…but this is a murder trial.”

L’whood frowned then followed behind everyone dejected as they returned to the courthouse and the trial resumed. Returning to the cross examination, U’mhitra tutted then gestured back to O’thyka.

“N’zhet, do you have any proof of your affair with O’thyka?”

“Just the love in my hearrrt,” he purred.

“If that’s all the proof then there’s nothing more to say,” the lawyer huffed before moving toward her seat.

Myx looked to N’zhet then back to L’whood before standing by herself.

“I have additional inquiries.”

“Proceed,” the judge answered.

“N-Zhet. Did you ever go on a date with O-Thyka?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“A restaurant in Limsa where no one would recognize us.”

“And how have you been sleeping with O-Thyka?”

“Three months?”

“And what is the name of the N tribes’ Nuhn?”

“N’rahz.”

The audience gasped as L’whood sat up in his seat.

“I knew it,” the Nuhn cheered, tail thrashing with excitement.

“I-I’m sorry. I misunderstood. Of course I am a Nuhn. N’rahz is just some Tia.”

“The hell he is,” a lady Miqo’te stood, “He’s the hero of our village you pretender!”

N’zhet turned pale as the court went wild with murmurs.

“What in the seven hells does being a Nuhn or Tia have anything to do with this case,” Thancred asked.

“He was lying? It ruined his credibility.”

“That doesn’t disprove an affair…no matter where his sword is sheathed.”

“It was enough to establish he was a lying liar that no one should ever believe about being kissed or anything else that’s happened to him with another guy that’s perfectly natural for rough housing!”

The table went quiet for a moment before Thancred cleared his throat.

“Right then…carry on…”

After the trial, L’whood was summoned to U’mhitra’s chambers, the Nuhn feeling high off his perfectly sound and logical victory.

“Hey hey! Is everything okay? We’re gonna go drinking and stuff!”

“Sit down,” the woman ordered, watching him move to a chair, “You followed your gut today and won the case. I should have listened.”

“Thank you.”

“About the alibi…”

L’whood frowned then shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but-”

“I’m impressed you went to get it. That’s the making of a good lawyer. You gained your client’s trust. You’re smart. Smarter than most of the people I employ.”

“That…That really means a lot,” L’whood breathed out, basking in her praise.

U’mhtira moved, then sat down across from him, eyes soft and searching his face.

“I think it’s time we discuss your future. Have you thought about where you might intern for the summer?

“Not really. I know it’s rather competitive.”

“Yes. It’s about tenacity, and grit. Balancing intelligence with might, strength. Knowing exactly how far you’ll go to get it. How far will you go?”

L’whood burned red as he felt her hand on his thigh before hopping up and back.

“Y-You’re hitting on me!?”

“You’re a very handsome Nuhn.”

“So…so everything you said?”

“I’m a woman who know what she wants.”

“And I’m a Nuhn who realized your firm isn’t the place for me!”

U’mhitra huffed as she sat back, “Too bad. I thought you were a law student who wanted to be a lawyer.”

L’whood fled, the building, hurrying down the stairs and bumping into Myx on the way.

“Whood! What is wrong?”

The Nuhn sniffed hard, tears in his eyes, “Law school was a mistake! Getting this dumb internship was a mistake!”

“I do not understand. You have shown increasing merrit-’

“I didn’t earn it! I’m just a piece of perfectly sculpted meat! U’mhitra made it clear that she liked the way I’m built when she tried to feel me up!”

Myx snapped her attention to the higher floor before finding L’whood wandering past.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to my home. I can fulfill my destiny as a useless humbo and join the Thanalan speedo team. No more suits. No more dress boxers. No more trying to be something I’m not.”

“You are already being who you are. Please do not abscond.”

L’whood looked down at his feet then shook his head, “Thanks for not treating me the way everyone else here does. Call me if you’re ever my way.”

And so he left running home to pack. Not wanting to leave Clynt high and dry, he returned to the gym to tell her the news, sniffling a little bit in the process.

“You can’t swiven’ leave now!”

“What’s the point of staying? All people see when they look at me is my six-pack and my biceps. No one’s ever going to take me seriously. The people at law school don’t. U’shtola doesn’t. I don’t even think my old man takes me seriously. He wanted me to grow up and be some sorta generic adventurer. Now for the first time I was gonna do something better than bonking some bad guys around and posing in my speedos.  But I was kidding myself. I wasn’t going to be a lawyer. All I was was a good looking piece of ass. Turns out, I’m just a joke. So I came to say goodbye.”

A grunt sounded followed by the clang of a 300 pound barbell hitting the rest. Sitting up, a rippling Professor Gage sat up, putting his towel around his neck and shaking his head. 

“If you let one stupid person ruin your life, then you’re not the Nuhn I thought you were,” he huffed before towel whipping L’whood.

As L’whood sniffled then smiled to his professor he felt his tomestone jingle. Answering, he lit up then nodded rapidly.

“Yeah! I’ll be right there! Hey hey! Can you watch my stuff! I got a case to win,” the Nuhn boasted, fist bumping Clynt before rushing out back to the courthouse.

As he entered, U’mhitra was livid, looking to L’whood as he sauntered down the aisle to join Myx and O’thyka at the defendant’s table.

“He’s just a student! He can’t defend you!”

“Thanalan Law 3:03 A law student may appear on  behalf of a defendant in criminal proceedings with a licensed attorney. I am a licensed attorney and will be supervising him,” Myx stated while U’mhitra raged then took a seat in the crowd.

Once the courtroom had calmed down, L’whood found himself standing before the witness stand, O’khuba bitterly looking upon him.

“Uh…so…I’d like to point out that not only is there no proof in this case, but there’s a complete lack of mens rea, which by definition tells us that there is no crime without a vicious will…

“I am aware of the meaning. I do not need a vocabulary lesson. Question your witness,” the judge ordered.

“Right! So! Khuba! When you arrived back at the hut, was your Uncle there?”

“Not that I saw…like I said. I had a turkey leg then went to swim in the springs.”

“And when you came downstairs, what happened?”

“I saw O’thyka standing over his body. Drenched in blood.”

“And did Thyka have a sword or spear?”

“No. He’d stashed it by then.”

“I request that “He’d stashed it by then” is stricken from the record, your Honor. Speculation is not allowed,” Myx chimed up.

“Stricken,” the judge echoed.

L’whood nodded, back to Myx gratefully before looking to the other.

“Did you hear the sound of combat? The meeting of metal and flesh?”

“No…I was swimming in the springs.”

“And at some point…in the…twenty minutes you were in the springs your Uncle was stabbed?”

“I guess?”

“Your Uncle was stabbed while you were in the springs…but you didn’t hear him cry out or get murdered because you were in the springs.”

“Yes. I was swimming.”

“Could you tell us what you were doing earlier that day?”

“I got up, had some Sharbucks, went to the gym, then came home and had a turkey leg like I said.”

“Where you went to the springs?”

“...Yes.”

“I believe we established that the witness was in the spring.”

L’whood wiggled his ears then beamed at O’khuba, “Have you ever gone swimming before?”

“Yes?”

“How often would you say?”

“Twice a day since I was a lad?”

“You know, a boy in my fraternity, A’lphinaud, went swimming. We protested cause the boy isn’t buoyant, but he went anyway. It happened to be on the day of our big turkey hunt. So he had a nice leg himself then headed to the pool. He got a huge cramp and nearly drown!”

“Objection. Why is this relevant,” the prosecutor sighed.

“Hey hey! I have a point,” L’whood protested.

“Make it then,” the judge ordered.

“Right! So! Khuba. Why is it that he got a cramp?”

“Cause he went in the pool after eating.”

“That’s right. Because isn’t that the number 1 rule  of swimming? Wait thirty-minutes before you go swimming or you’ll drown!?” “Yes?”

“And if someone knows that rule, would they not go swimming? Unless he wanted to cramp and drown!? Even more, if you were busy not drowning, you’d have heard your dear Uncle being slain!”

“He’s younger than even I! Did you not know that? I’ve built the tribe, the trust of the huntresses! I didn’t mean to stab him! I meant to stab you,” O’khuba roared, thrusting his finger toward O’thyka.

The crowd went wild with gasps while the judge banged at her gavel. And just like that the trial was over and to celebrate, the team sans U’mhitra celebrated with a small party at Clynt’s gym. All of L’whood’s friends gathered to celebrate him before applauding wildly at his victory. Even U’shtola managed to corner him.

“You were amazing,” she praised.

“Yeah? Truly?”

“Yes, it made me realize something. I was an utter fool.”

L’whood blushed a bit, swallowing hard.

“Yeah? Uh…”

“You really can be a Nuhn and a lawyer.”

“Huh…I guess I am. Well, I hope we get to meet in court someday! I’m sure you and Zoiselle will make a formidable couple.”

“Hmmm?”

“Surely he means in the courtroom,” Zoiselle interjected, pushing U’shtola away gently.

“Sure sure. Wherever,” L’whood laughed before turning to find Myx staring at him.

“I request you join me for dinner.”

L’whood blinked then tilted his head, “Are you asking me on a date?”

“Yes, that would be agreeable.”

The Nuhn beam then nodded, tail flipping happily. L’whood would go on to graduate with honors and start a chapter of Delta Nuhn at Sharlayan Law. Clynt and the Postmoogle man ended up going in on a larger gym space together. They’re married now. U’shtola and Zoiselle started a practice together, specializing in complicated and emotional cases. As for Myx, she left U’mhitra’s firm and started her own. She plans to ask L’whood to marry her. 

U’rahn beamed as he looked around the table, the mix of Scions and friends rolling their eyes or shaking their heads. Zoissette seemed unable to even look anyone in the eye while Y’shtola swirled a glass of wine, staring daggers in it. Alisae was worn out from laughing, while Alphinaud muttered to himself. Thancred had drifted off, chatting with Klynt leaving U’rahn to turn to Nyx with a chuckle.

“Did you enjoy my story?”

“I enjoyed observing you telling it.”

“I’ll take that as a victory then! It certainly lifted the mood.”

“I would not consider it a victory as far as your storytelling is concerned; however, I believe your goal as always was to amuse me and others. So, in that, you are victorious.”

“Thanks…I think? Shall we dance?”

“Yes. Let’s.”

Smiling, U’rahn reached out his hand then stood, taking Nyx to the dance floor, swaying together until others joined them. As he flicked his tail happily, he couldn’t help but think that this had become the perfect day.

Naturally, getting a spot to moor was key, so she'd set out about 2 weeks early to reserve and select her spot. It had paid off, a swimmable distance from one of the many lagoons, and soon enough more and more ships were pulling in around.

She'd be living here until the faire proper, though some folks from the company would be along in a few days to help set up. Normally she would have welcomed a bit of solitude out in the cool water and beautiful weather, but, as fate would have it, she had someone in her life that needed some R&R, and she was all too happy to take her along.

Klynt was busy setting the anchor, and Apple couldn't help admire her, staring at the Roegadyn's back muscles flexing and the exertion as she worked. Her slack-jawed leering didn't go entirely unnoticed, as Klynt stood and wiped the sweat from her brow, she gave her Hyur companion a knowing grin and a wink, before walking over, brushing a hand over Apple's exposed midriff, while the other brushed aside her swim skirt to boldly grasp at her rear, squeezing greedily. Apple gasped, and helpfully removed her floppy sun hat as Klynt leand down for a hard kiss. She was used to this sort of attention from Klynt, and, being honest, the attention was a good part of the reason she'd extended the invite to her. A couple of days of swimming, cocktails, amazing seafood, and mind-melting sex was all that Apple could want after so long traipsing around Tural and getting bogged down in research.

Klynt's attention turned more domineering, her hands moved to grasp and grope, and Apple was all too eager to give in to their desires. Her cheeks burned -bright- though as she heard the sounds of cheering. Off the starboard side, a party barge was pulling in. Decent sized crew, from the looks of it. A good crowd had gathered, clutching drinks and giving enthusiastic cheers as Klynt broke their kiss and began to attack the nape of her neck. "Mmm... Klynt." she sighed with desperation as she tried to squirm her way out of their powerful grasp. "Lets go below deck..." Klynt's next words came in a sultry tone that almost sounded like a growl, "Nah, lets give 'em a show." Before Apple could protest, Klynt moved to kiss her again, and her hand pushed aside her swimsuit, strong fingers effortlessly plunging deep into her, a surprised mewling moan meeting Klynt's lips as Apple's protesting squirms gave way to the eroticism of the moment.

Klynt could feel every muscle she had aching, even as the phallic appendages were plunging deep into her, all -three- of them. She hadn't been expecting Apple to surprise her this way. The Hyur was eager, but inexperienced at heart, and Klynt had certainly been the more experienced of the two. So sure, drop by the lab, try out some Allag toys, it wasn't like Klynt didn't know her way around a dildo or two. Now, lifted into the air by magically quickened tendrils operated by an incredibly gifted arcanist, and being completely -railed- in every conceivable way. She may have signed up for more than she chould handle.

Not that she'd let Apple know that. So, as yet another orgasm washed over her, all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and relax her muscles for a week. But... "I've always wanted to try that one, thank you!" she excitedly exclaimed as she jotted down a few notes in her notepad. "We've known for awhile what these devices were for, but we weren't exactly going to test the ones that required partners. We were considering putting out ads for couples to volunteer, but well..." She handed Klynt the flask with the bright blue liquid, Apple had told her it had some weird electricity thing that the body needed or something, she hadn't really been paying attention at the time. "We're getting through these pretty fast! Lets see... " she opens the next cubby to pull out what looked to be some sort of harness. "Oh fun, looks like this one's a manual model." she explained for sliding it on, settling it over her waist and manipulating the aethercurrents to activate the device. What should have been a bloody bog standard strap on elongated into a glowing blue tendril. What the fuck was the deal with Allags and these tentacles? Klynt thought to herself as Apple approached her, an excited look on her face as she approached the bed. "You ready?"

Klynt did her best to give an enthusiastic "Hit me!".

She failed.

She didn’t register the rocking of the ship, normally this deep down it was enough to require her to focus her breathing and stance to avoid the lurching of her stomach. The only thing she could truly focus on at the moment was her own heartbeat, the feeling of strong arms holding up her thighs as she was lifted up, and hot breath that tasted of aged, smooth, smokey spirits. Her lips opened to invite that taste in, and her eyes closed as she welcomed the passionate kiss wholeheartedly.

It had been quite some time since she experienced a kiss, and quite frankly she did not recall the experience being so… bombastic, intense, it didn’t feel this… she didn’t feel this need before. She gripped the back of Klynt’s neck, pushing back against her, sighing into her lips as she felt one of the hands holding her up wandering down her thigh to find the hem of her dress, pulling it up. She could feel Klynt’s grin as the hand ran up her inner thighs. She was surprised with how welcome she felt for the sensation. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“It’s exciting, isn’t it?” Apple mused as she meted out her portion of dinner, a broad smile on her face as she looked upon the woman who had become more of a common fixture in her life in the last few months. “Sailing? Bit of the same as it ever was, if I’m bein’ honest.” She replied with a shrug. “Food sure is better than yer average sailin’ slop, I’ll admit.” Klynt flashed a grin back, Apple had to admit Sebastian had a wonderful talent for cooking for a large group like this, she wasn’t sure she could pull off meals for this many mouths as consistently as he could. “No, just well… Tural! I’ve been hearing stories of it from the merchants and mercenaries for so long, and now we’re heading there!” she chuckled, “I guess I’m just used to being back at the lab, with everything being brought back, never been on the field crew for this kind of thing.” Klynt shrugged again, “Probably need to get used to it, you’re not so terrible in a brawl these days. You may be surprised but the way folks talk it seems you’ve changed a good deal since the shadowy bastard started piggybacking on ya. All too keen on new experiences and all that.” Klynt flashed her a smile as the Hyur finished filling her plate. “I’ve plenty more experiences to show you, should you ever want to learn to climbing the mountain.” That playful wink again. Apple smirked back, “not sure if I’m that fit yet, but our sparring sure helps with that!” The Roegadyn responded with a chuckle, shaking her head and giving Apple that ‘poor little thing’ expression like her mother used to. It was a bit of a confusing reaction, Apple was sure she missed some sort of cue, or maybe it was some sort of in-joke she wasn’t privy to?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her body felt extremely hot, perhaps it was, in this time of summer with all the humid air, but it was different. Sensations felt more intense, the feeling of her back pressed against the wooden beam feeling its coarseness and the sharp pain of the occasional splinter as she squirmed. She felt most intensely the air against her skin, the feeling of a tongue meeting with her breast. She felt the weight of her skirt as it fell down her legs, and above all, the confident, experienced fingers -finally- delving into her. She couldn’t help but gasp, her back arching up as she felt the pleasured relief after all that build up. “There we go…” Klynt’s words were smug, she was clearly having fun with this, and it was like honey in the young Hyur’s ears. In a moment of uncharacteristic boldness. Apple gripped Klynt’s hair, pulling her face away from her chest, pulling her closer for a fiery kiss. Or at least as fiery as the inexperienced girl could emulate. Her boldness was rewarded, as those talented fingers pressed in deeper and curled -just so- causing Apple to moan loudly into Klynt’s mouth. Apple’s aetheric tattoos began to glow a light blue, the physical reaction affecting her internal aether, clearly. Klynt pulled back to take it in, “Swive, tha’s fun..” she said with a chuckle, before lifting Apple up, pulling her legs over her broad shoulders, Apple couldn’t help but admire that strong back, those scars, the tattoos, many of which she recognized as tributes to the navigator or other tributes to sailing superstitions. She didn’t get to admire for very long though, as Klynt’s head promptly dipped between her legs. Despite her limited experience, -this- trick was entirely new for her. She liked it. She liked it quite a lot, it seemed. ___________________________________________________________________________ “You know Klynt pretty well, right Seb?” Apple queried Sebastian, the always weary looking Hyur, who had the misfortune of sitting across from Apple on this particular evening. He raised an eyebrow at her, “I feel like I’m getting roped into someth-“ Apple cut him off before her could finish, likely because he was speaking the truth. “She keeps talking about ‘climbing the mountain’ and winking and smirking at me, I’m not sure why she’s so insistent about that? I’ve never been very outdoorsy, you see, and my upper arm strength is a long way from-“ Seb cut her off now, with a deep sigh and the pinch of his brow. “She is the mountain, and wants you to climb her.” Apple looked completely befuddled at that, “Why would I cli-“. “Sexually.” He explained.

A long pause this time. “Oh… -Ohhhh-“ Apple’s eyes went wide, Seb seemed grateful at least that he could drop it at that and enjoy his meal, though he couldn’t have avoided noticing Apple getting about as flushed red as her namesake. He smirked a bit as he saw the calculations being made in her mind.

Apple hadn’t considered herself terribly interested in sex, she’d had a few experiences, sure, but they were awkward and she didn’t feel like she’d gotten much outside a mostly painful experience that left her feeling a little too vulnerable in the end. But then again, she had fantasized about Zoissette, caught herself daydreaming about her, and had gotten so frustratingly sullen and depressed when she and Y’shtola had confessed their love for each other right before Apple had committed to such a confession as well. Klynt had been her sparring instructor for months, and now that Seb has put the idea in her head. She had caught herself admiring the well-built woman who had been teaching her. Those muscles, the hair, that damned smirk Klynt flashed all too often. The confidence. She had to admit as well, Klynt had a reputation amongst her peers, one that Apple found herself very curious about. Did.. did she want that? Apple blanked for awhile on that question. Minutes passed before she came to her answer, slowly standing, leaving her food half uneaten as she walked over to Klynt, who looked up at her quizzically. “Y-yes.” Apple said, a shaky start to be sure, but she was awfully nervous.” Klynt looked puzzled, “Yes what?” she responded, her confusion clear in her voice. “I would like to climb the mountain.” Apple was so very matter-of-fact about it that it took Klynt a moment to absorb what she was saying, and Apple was already halfway out of the mess hall by the time she got to her feet to chase after her. It’d be rude to say no to an invitation she laid out, after all. ____________________________________________________________________________ Apple was now -very- aware of the rocking of the boat now, every sway and bob could be felt, and her stomach was churning to be sure, though perhaps not for that reason. She reached up with shaky hands, looking up at…. All of Klynt. Her well-toned abdomen, shapely legs, all those scars, and the lovely tattoos that marked her body. It was not unlike enjoying the galleries back in Sharlayan, so much about the site she beheld was so genuinely artistic. Of course, as she looked up, there was that cocky grin. “Jus’ treat it like our trainin’. If ya make a wrong move I’ll correct ya, though you’re a fast learner, mayhaps I won’t have to.” With that encouragement, her eyes moved to the task at hand, an artistic, welcoming site of its own. She took a deep breath, gripping the back of Klynt’s thighs with both of her hands, couldn’t help but feeling so small in this moment, and her head settled right in between her legs. As she moved from tentative kisses, to exploratory tastes, she eventually dove in, emulating her unexpectedly new lover’s technique, eliciting a deep sigh. “Swiiive me.” Klynt exhaled from her lips. Deep, meaningful poetry in Apple’s ears.

Okay, she liked this.

She really did not wish to be there, as social as she had become since her near death experience, there were limits to her extroverted tolerance, and being in a room with roughly a thousand was quite a bit over it. She caught up with a few family friends, mostly asking after her mother, including the boisterous and excitable Immovable Rod. "Apple! Lass ya sprouted up like a damn tree since I last laid eyes on ya! Come 'ere an' give ol' Uncle Rod a big 'ug ya landlocked rodent!" Apple grimaced, It wasn't entirely -unpleasant- to see "Uncle" Rod, one of her mother's old crewmates that also survived her encounter with Leviathan, but he had a habit of not having any idea what propriety meant and it wasn't long before the stories came. It was deep into the -third- tale about her mother's shore leave sexual conquests when Apple spotted a lifeline. Klynt, looking out of place wearing a well pressed outfit and a rather handsome overcoat, she seemed to be flirting with an elezen man, who, from the looks of it, seemed more and more out of his depth as their conversation carried out, indeed, he seemed to have mounted a hasty retreat, leaving Klynt nursing a drink and her pride a bit, it seemed. "Sorry Rod, meeting up with a friend over there! Gotta go." She interrupted his current horrific tale and made for Klynt. "Hah! Dont gotta lie to me, lass. You've got that Mercer blood in ya, you 'ave fun with tonight's piece, ehh?" Apple groaned, as always, to his teasing.

For once though, he wasn't -entirely- wrong about her intentions.

Meeting up with Klynt was like coming up to the surface for air after an entire evening of drowning, for both of them, she suspected. They quickly found a table, grabbed drinks and appetizers, and settled in for the formalities of the evening. It had been a few months since she'd seen Klynt, even longer since they'd shared a bed, life had seen them both quite busy, it had seemed. Apple found in their reunion that she'd missed her terribly. After all that had happened between them, there was a connection between them that was comforting, she was a trusted friend, and someone she felt she had a genuine amount of love for. Her mind wandered to the past, long conversations, arguments, tears, laughter and joy. She felt Klynt's hand pressing against the fabric of her dress, running along her thigh, dipping in over her crotch. Apple whimpered and looked around, terrified that anyone could see... no one took notice. Her memories turned to those of passion and pleasure, night making love under the stars, admiring her lover's body, watching her writhe. A whisper was all it took to steal away Apple's good sense and sanity. "Wanna find a closet?" Yes. Yes she very much did want to find a closet. They hurried away from the stately ballroom to the stately hallway, a decent crowd was still amassed around so they ducked into the stairwell leading up, pausing midway to alleviate their need with a passionate kiss, both of their hands wandered with abandon, she was almost tempted.. almost. but instead grasped Klynt's hand and hurried along, finding the door marked 'Storage', a beacon of light in the darkness at the moment. She grasped the door knob and flung it open, expecting Klynt to fling her inside and get to work. Instead, she found the site of a rather burly looking Raegadyn, a Sea Wolf, from the looks of it, and she certainly got a look of all of it, stark nude and enjoying the rather talented oral ministrations of a lithe and slender Viera, also quite nude, and tending to his own erection as he was working on his lovers. Though the both jumped a bit and paused to look at them, once the two realized they likely were not to get turned in, and indeed, the two ladies had the same idea that they had, the Viera simply shrugged and wrapped his lips back around his lover's cock. "Sorry luv's" the Roegadyn spoke "Men's only function 'ere, i'm sure you'll find one fer the ladies." The words snapped Apple out of her slack jawed surprise and finally made her avert her gaze. For Klynt's part, she seemed a little disappointed that women weren't allowed before remembering what she was trying to do. Carefully closing the door, the looked around. Apple jumped a bit as Klynt grabbed her from behind, and begain to kiss along her neck, hands wandering and groping as they saw fit. "I kin take ya right here lass, I'm sure no one'll show..." 'Bullshite' Apple thought, though her thoughts were getting a bit scrambled... she pulled away, somehow, and walked down the hall a bit, to the very end, a double door, nice looking finish on the wood as well, even a gold trim. "Fuck it." the rare curse escaped Apple's mouth "I'm desperate." She gave the door a few knocks to make sure no one was in there. Muttering and tracing a arcanic circle on the door frame, Klynt looked as Apple's eyes darkened a bit and her shadow seemed to stretch underneath the doorframe. About a minute passed before a satisfying click was heard on the other side, and the shadow returned and Apple's hazel eyes returned to their natural hue. "We've got 30 minutes before the event ends." she warned Klynt as she opened the door.

Klynt clearly took that as a challenge, for as soon as she locked the door behind them, Klynt had Apple tossed onto the rather decadent bed, her dressed hemmed up over her knees, and her head locked in between Apple's legs. Apple had never been so turned on. Breaking into a room, overcome with pure lust, reuniting with her friend and lover after all this time?

She was undone in less than a minute.

Right as she was recovering, the stars fading from her eyes, she was taken aback as Klynt grabbed her forcefully, rolling over the side of the bed, and then underneath, she then realized why. There was a clinking at the door. As it opened they heard voices, a conversation already in motion, a dim light illuminating the room as the first lamps were turned on. "Seems a bit early to leave, don't you think so, marm?" Apple didn't recognize the voice, of course. "I think we're a little past 'Marm'?" That voice she did recognize. "I've been traveling all across the city states for three weeks, I'm overdue some indulgencies, do you not think?" there was the clink of belts, and a long overcoat dropped to the floor. "Don't answer that. We've done plenty of talking for one evening as it is. Put your mouth to other uses."

Anyone would have recognized -that- voice. Admiral -bloody- Bloefhiswyn. Apple tensed up, and felt Klynt do so as well holding her protectively, the only thing keeping her from panic, though, panix soon turned to something else entirely. Gasps, chuckling and giggling. Hungry moans, the site of clothes thrown about the room with reckless abandon. A thump on the mattress above them, then another.

Apple was terrified, mortified, and aroused all at once. She could hear Klynt holding back a disbelieving chuckle from behind and then.

Oh no... Klynt... no.

She dared not actually say anything as the mischievous woman moved her hands hiking up Apple's dress once more, snaking up to tend to the poor Hyur's very aroused need. A slight, panicked, pleasured whimper escaped Apple's lips before Klynt gently put her other hand over them. "Shhhh." she heard whispered into her ear. She could picture the grin from behind. This was insane, idiotic, imbecilic, -dangerous-.

But in the end, she shifted her legs just so.

She swore on the Thirteen that she would make Klynt pay for this.