#klaue

ULTRON     –Now thou art as well. ‘Tis found in dummy holdings thou possess’st– Is not the world of finance passing strange? Yet as I say, “Keep all your friends most rich, and keep thine enemies most rich as well, then find out which is which when both are rich.”

KLAUE       Stark.

ULTRON              – What?

KLAUE                            – ‘Twas once a phrase of Tony Stark the axiom that falleth from thy mouth. Quoth he those words to me a hundred times– though art of him.

ULTRON                      

– False brigand, I am none! [Ultron grabs Klaue. Think’st thou I am a puppet held by Stark, with strings hung fast, sans mine own will to move, a hollow fellow fashion’d for control? Look thou on me – seem I like Iron Man? [Ultron angrily strikes Klaue, severing his arm in twain. Nay, Stark is naught! Alas, apologies, that shall be fine, I’m certain. Sorry, sirrah. ‘Tis simply that I do not understand– I would not be compar’d with Tony Stark. [Ultron strikes Klaue again, knocking him down. Stark is a parasite, an illness he!

ENTER TONY STARK, STEVE ROGERS, AND THOR

STARK        Imprudent junior mine, thou soon shalt break thine old man’s heart.

ULTRON – Yea, if I must, I shall

ENTER NATASHA ROMANOFF AND CLINT BARTON IN HIDING.

THOR       There shall be none of breaking, verily.

ULTRON     You never made an omelet, it is plain.

STARK        I would have said the same, one second hence.

PIETRO      Yea, Ultron hath a quick and pleasant wit. O Master Stark, are thou most comfortable? ‘Tis like old times, with all thy missiles here.

STARK        In no way, knave—this never was my life.

ROGERS    [to the Maximoffs:] You two may still decide to walk away.

WANDA      We will, thou varlet.

[Ultron laughs.

ULTRON –Cap’n America, the righteous man of God, from heaven come, pretending you could live without a war. My body physical doth not allow my gorge to rise and vomit to erupt within my mouth, yet truly, if it did—

THOR          If thou believ’st in peace, then let us keep’t.

ULTRON     You are confusing peace with quiet, Thor.

STARK         I prithee, why dost need vibranium?

ULTRON      How wonderful you happen’d thus to ask, for long have I awaited the occasion to bare mine evil plan before your eyes.

It’s my headcanon that the guys who had to strap our big boy to the chair just added the duct tape for good measure because of how swole he is 😂

Now, I know it could be “Well they figured they need to tie him down because the other arm would keep him in place and he doesn’t have it”, but they handcuffed his ONLY hand AND cuffed his ankles, in a very extra fashion I might add, so a normal person might think he’s not going anywhere. Like he’s not some goddamn Houdini and he doesn’t have any crazy abilities.

But they dragged his ass in and probably sat back, looked at the handcuffs, and said “Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna be enough” and strapped his fucking chest to the chair with duct tape.

And then they saw him go from

this

TO THIS

It’s done so crudely and looks so last minute that I bet they saw him lunge and were in the back SWEATING thinking about what if they HADN’T added the tape because Ross sat his ass back Q U I C K.

Agent A: “We don’t need it, huh? It’ll be fine, huh?!” Agent B: *eyes forward and silent pretending he didn’t see what just happened*