Lucille: So what do you need me for? He's not taking the monkey drug anymore. And you're the one who's got him. Not me

Kitty: Oh, you know why. He won’t touch me. He said he doesn’t cheat on his wife anymore.

Lucille: He said that?

Crowd: (Yelling.) Drinking contest!

Lucille: Tell you what. I’ll drink you for it.

Kitty: I heard you don’t handle your booze so well anymore.

Lucille: So this should be easy for you. That one didn’t count.

Narrator: Lucille, minutes out of rehab...was engaging in a drinking contest...at the behest of her son.

Lucille: Let me know when you're ready, dear. Crowd: She's mixing!

Michael: He's crawling out the window, isn't he?