Kisumiās head lazily rolled to the side as he caught Nastkaās gaze. They hadnāt spoken for awhile. The silence was like a song. Instead the soft sounds of the springs outside the threshold of their private entrance filled the room. The tranquility was unusual for a scene between the two of them. Scared, Kisumi felt as if he did utter anything everything would shatter. Thatās exactly how Nastka made him feel at times, glass. Delicate, too raw, new, something not refined and reflected the world back, yet Nastka saw right through him as if he could pluck and pull any emotion or thought from his mind. There was no hiding from himā¦. And that was something Kisumi needed. To be completely seen and still be desired. So instead of ruining the moment with his nervous chatter his nose nudged the otherās hand as his lips soon followed and traced the curves of the muscles along his arm. Pressing his devotion into his skin like a vow, a promise.
The bed creaked softly beneath them, an old sound, familiarāwood and metal remembering weight. Nastka lay half-propped against the headboard, papers spread in an orderly fan across his thigh, the faint smell of ink and dust clinging to them. Numbers marched neatly under his gaze, obedient, predictable. The glasses perched low on his nose sharpened the world into lines and meaning, gave him distance. Control lived there, in margins and sums.
Silence breathed between them.
It wasnāt empty. It was full in the way deep water is fullāheavy, pressing, alive. Outside, somewhere beyond stone and steel, the springs sang their quiet song, a wet, rhythmic murmur that slipped in through the private entrance and settled into the room like a secret. Nastka absorbed it without thinking. He always did. Stillness had taught him how to listen.
The mattress dipped, just barely, but Nastka felt it immediately. He always did. His eyes stayed on the page, but his body betrayed him, his fingers paused mid-note, the pencil hovering, breath stalling in his chest for half a second too long. Awareness slid in, slow and inevitable.
The touch came gently. A nudge of a nose against his hand, hesitant, almost questioning. Nastka didnāt pull away. He didnāt look down yet. He let it happen, let the moment stretch until it hurt in that quiet, intimate way. When lips followed, warm and careful, tracing the long map of muscle and old strain along his arm, something inside him unraveled. Not loudly. Not all at once. Just a single thread loosening.
Devotion always did this to him. It crept in through the cracks he pretended werenāt there.
Kisumi kissed him like he was memorizing, like he was afraid the shape of Nastka might disappear if he didnāt press it into himself hard enough. Nastkaās hand flexed under the touch, veins standing out, skin hypersensitive where attention lingered. It wasnāt lust that stirred firstāit was something older, darker. The ache of being needed. Of being seen and chosen without armor.
He exhaled slowly and set the papers aside, carefully, reverently. The sound of them sliding onto the bedside table felt louder than it should have. The glasses stayed on, for now. He wanted to see this clearly.
His fingers slipped into Kisumiās hair, not possessive, not gentle either, grounding. Anchoring. He felt the fine tremor there, the restraint Kisumi wore like a second skin. Nastka finally looked at him then, really looked, over the rim of his lenses. His gaze was sharp enough to cut glass, and just as reflective.
āSo quiet,ā Nastka murmured, voice low, worn smooth by honesty. āYou only get like this when youāre afraid to be real.ā
His thumb found Kisumiās chin, lifted it just enough to steal his breath away, to force the truth into the open space between them. Nastkaās expression didnāt soften. It deepened.
āYou think I donāt already see the cracks,ā he said. āThat I donāt know exactly where to touch you.ā
He leaned in slightly, forehead almost brushing Kisumiās temple, breath warm, intimate, unavoidable.
āYou donāt shatter when you speak,ā Nastka continued. āYou shatter when you hide.ā
His grip tightened then (just a fraction ) before easing, letting Kisumi stay exactly where he was. Devotion pressed into his skin, raw and unpolished, and Nastka accepted it without flinching. Because glass, he knew, wasnāt weak.
It was honest. // @kisumitenderly