Kisumiâs head lazily rolled to the side as he caught Nastkaâs gaze. They hadnât spoken for awhile. The silence was like a song. Instead the soft sounds of the springs outside the threshold of their private entrance filled the room. The tranquility was unusual for a scene between the two of them. Scared, Kisumi felt as if he did utter anything everything would shatter. Thatâs exactly how Nastka made him feel at times, glass. Delicate, too raw, new, something not refined and reflected the world back, yet Nastka saw right through him as if he could pluck and pull any emotion or thought from his mind. There was no hiding from himâŚ. And that was something Kisumi needed. To be completely seen and still be desired. So instead of ruining the moment with his nervous chatter his nose nudged the otherâs hand as his lips soon followed and traced the curves of the muscles along his arm. Pressing his devotion into his skin like a vow, a promise.
The bed creaked softly beneath them, an old sound, familiarâwood and metal remembering weight. Nastka lay half-propped against the headboard, papers spread in an orderly fan across his thigh, the faint smell of ink and dust clinging to them. Numbers marched neatly under his gaze, obedient, predictable. The glasses perched low on his nose sharpened the world into lines and meaning, gave him distance. Control lived there, in margins and sums.
Silence breathed between them.
It wasnât empty. It was full in the way deep water is fullâheavy, pressing, alive. Outside, somewhere beyond stone and steel, the springs sang their quiet song, a wet, rhythmic murmur that slipped in through the private entrance and settled into the room like a secret. Nastka absorbed it without thinking. He always did. Stillness had taught him how to listen.
The mattress dipped, just barely, but Nastka felt it immediately. He always did. His eyes stayed on the page, but his body betrayed him, his fingers paused mid-note, the pencil hovering, breath stalling in his chest for half a second too long. Awareness slid in, slow and inevitable.
The touch came gently. A nudge of a nose against his hand, hesitant, almost questioning. Nastka didnât pull away. He didnât look down yet. He let it happen, let the moment stretch until it hurt in that quiet, intimate way. When lips followed, warm and careful, tracing the long map of muscle and old strain along his arm, something inside him unraveled. Not loudly. Not all at once. Just a single thread loosening.
Devotion always did this to him. It crept in through the cracks he pretended werenât there.
Kisumi kissed him like he was memorizing, like he was afraid the shape of Nastka might disappear if he didnât press it into himself hard enough. Nastkaâs hand flexed under the touch, veins standing out, skin hypersensitive where attention lingered. It wasnât lust that stirred firstâit was something older, darker. The ache of being needed. Of being seen and chosen without armor.
He exhaled slowly and set the papers aside, carefully, reverently. The sound of them sliding onto the bedside table felt louder than it should have. The glasses stayed on, for now. He wanted to see this clearly.
His fingers slipped into Kisumiâs hair, not possessive, not gentle either, grounding. Anchoring. He felt the fine tremor there, the restraint Kisumi wore like a second skin. Nastka finally looked at him then, really looked, over the rim of his lenses. His gaze was sharp enough to cut glass, and just as reflective.
âSo quiet,â Nastka murmured, voice low, worn smooth by honesty. âYou only get like this when youâre afraid to be real.â
His thumb found Kisumiâs chin, lifted it just enough to steal his breath away, to force the truth into the open space between them. Nastkaâs expression didnât soften. It deepened.
âYou think I donât already see the cracks,â he said. âThat I donât know exactly where to touch you.â
He leaned in slightly, forehead almost brushing Kisumiâs temple, breath warm, intimate, unavoidable.
âYou donât shatter when you speak,â Nastka continued. âYou shatter when you hide.â
His grip tightened then (just a fraction ) before easing, letting Kisumi stay exactly where he was. Devotion pressed into his skin, raw and unpolished, and Nastka accepted it without flinching. Because glass, he knew, wasnât weak.
It was honest. // @kisumitenderly