#kirk x reader

He couldn’t find peace even for a second, trying to occupy himself with whatever he could think of – a task, or, if he didn’t have any, a silly game, a sparring session, a chat with Spock or Bones.

The latter tried to cheer their captain up, each in their own manner, but it didn’t seem to help much for Jim’s eyes would only grow heavier with each passing hour.

No matter how hard he tried to prepare himself for the worst, when you and your comrades were finally brought back aboard, the sight of you, unconscious and brutalized, felt to him like a punch in the stomach.

Kirk would find any excuse to visit you at the sickbay; his visits became so frequent that even McCoy finally snapped, advising Jim to “mind his dam’ business” - bothering you every 15 minutes wouldn’t do you any favor.

But the captain would return after another 15 minutes anyway.

When you were still unconscious, he would sit there, holding your hand, maybe tell you about his day just to show you he was there, even if he couldn’t actually help.

Grim thoughts of you never waking up deprived Jim of his own sleep.

So, when you finally did open your eyes, the captain simply couldn’t contain his happiness and squeezed air out of Bones’ lungs in a bear hug, thanking him for saving your life.

Now that you have recovered, Kirk makes sure to assign you only missions he is personally attending.

He has certainly developed a sort of separation anxiety, turning clingier that he has ever been and being overly protective at times (which you eventually bring up and you two try to work though).

If you haven’t been married yet, Jim definitely suggests a wedding and, should you accepted his proposal, orders to prepare the ceremony.

He wants to ensure that, if he was to lose you, you two would experience as much as possible together before it happened.

Spock

No one could tell what he was feeling when your transmission abruptly died after a short cry of pain rang through the radio.

Externally, he remained completely unbothered; maybe a slight confused frown would do the change.

Meanwhile, on the inside, Spock was terrified.

Of course, he was doing his best not to let his emotions interfere with his job. Not even once he left his station without a need or bothered anyone with unnecessary concerns or questions. It would be illogical after all.

Yet, every time Uhura would report, his eyes instinctively darted in her direction, barely perceptive flickers of fear and hope jolting in their dark depth.

Unfortunately, minutes were turning into hours, and there was still nothing.

Jim tried to talk to him, to make his friend open up and relieve the load he knew Spock was carrying inside, only to be pushed away with a truly Vulcan stoicism. Spock considered his problems irrelevant while you and other people lost were the top priority.

At last, after tiresome searching, the troop was beamed back on board.

Spock didn’t leave his post until Kirk (gladly) permitted him to.

Only then the Science officer allowed himself a small weakness, personally escorting you to the sickbay and staying by your side a few extra minutes to ensure you were safe and stable.

His face was unreadable, but his tense figure and unnatural lack of attention to anything but you instantly told Bones how concerned he was.

Though, McCoy couldn’t possibly imagine the pain that struck Spock at the sight of your limp, bruised body. If not for his Vulcan ways, he would have collapsed right there and then, crying like a child.

Jim relieved him off duty despite Spock’s repeated protests, justifying this action with: “your partner needs you much more than the Enterprise right now, Spock”.

According to his captain’s (and very much his own) wishes, Spock would pass all the time he had with you.

When you woke up, he was by your side, lost in thoughts, his hand gently stroking your hair.

His voice was calm and soothing as he spoke to you; in fact, you could lie there and listen to him talk all day, but instead you chose to surprise Spock with a Vulcan kiss.

A wide smile of relief instantly bloomed on his face, and that alone revealed how much he missed you. As he leaned in for a Human kiss, there were no doubts left.

(Thankfully, McCoy wasn’t there to witness the moment)

Since then Spock always kisses/holds you in his arms a little bit before you have to go on another of your missions, no matter how many people are in the room. Quality time spent with you increases prominently as well.

And don’t even make me start on how protective he has become…

Leonard “Bones” Mccoy

If McCoy was considered irritable while you were around, it became a total disaster once you disappeared.

People were afraid to get near him for Leonard's temper would quickly get the best of him. Even nurse Chapel who had gotten used to her chief’s behavior refused to enter the sickbay with him inside.

He didn't stay at his station though. Instead, he occupied a corner on the bridge and sat there with a gloomy expression on his face, waiting for any news to come.

At times, he engaged in heated arguments with Spock who, clearly displeased at first, soon realized that it was simply the doctor’s way to cope. And so he would indulge McCoy just to keep him occupied.

Yet, with each passing hour Bones was more and more likely to prefer solitude. His eruptive energy faded away, leaving exhaustion and sorrowful indifference behind. Even his normal sassiness looked more like cinical pessimism.

Jim hated to see McCoy act this way, but could do nothing.

Things changed only once you were aboard of the Enterprise again.

Bones instantly went into doctor’s mode, ready to do the impossible to drag you out of death’s jaws. Never before or after that day he was seen working with such passion.

He would sleep on a spare bed at his work place just in case something went wrong, and his rest was hectic as he would constantly get up to check on you.

When your senses returned to you, Leonard was snoring by your bed, disheveled, heavy bags under his eyes. He looked dreadfully exhausted, yet only more endearing to you for all the efforts he had to make fighting for your life.

You couldn’t wait to finally greet your lover. But, as he stirred awake, you immediately wished he didn't. McCoy read you an entire lecture on how stupid your actions were and how you failed to use all survival techniques he thought you knew, his Southern accent and an impressive lexicon of heavy words showing off in all their glory. He even threatened he would convince Jim to remove you from your position and give you a quiet, ship-only related job (spoilers: of course, he didn’t, he values your opinions and freedom of choice).

However, his anger didn’t last too long. After all, he was so very happy you made it back to him. Nurse Chapel found you two in the middle of a fiery kiss, absorbed into your feelings to the point when you wouldn’t notice her until she accidentally dropped a book she was trying to sneak from McCoy’s table.

Since that incident Leonard has been exceptionally strict with you during check-ups. If you are about to get dropped on some random planet again, he will hold an extensive speech, naming all potential threats and how exactly you can avoid them (it doesn’t matter if you know all that already).

At the same time, McCoy has started treating you somewhat softer when it comes to daily life. He tolerates things in you which usually would infuriate him. His appetite for cuddles is now practically insatiable: his hands are constantly on you, or he is in very close proximity to you if anything else is inappropriate.

Reminded so harshly about human mortality, Leonard wants to savor every moment, every sensation, every feeling like it’s the last one, and shows patience for he knows: one day, he will miss even your flaws, but it will be too late.

Montgomery "Scotty" Scott

You could as well grab a knife and stab it though the man’s heart.

Kirk suffered from a moral dilemma. What could he say? Did he have to say it? Wouldn’t it be better if chief engineer knew nothing until the reason of your disappearance was revealed?..

But, eventually, he decided it would be unfair to hide the truth.

Montgomery Scott had never been someone who crumbled under the load of hardship – and he didn’t. Yet, the look Jim received from him at the moment when your name and the word “lost” dropped from his mouth was heart-wrenching.

Scotty would rather deal with the entire system's overload than the news he’d just received. If it was the ship’s fault, he could have easily fixed whatever was wrong. But at the moment… He was powerless, and that was driving him mad.

Seeking distraction, Scotty hurled himself into his work, checking every cable and cog of the vessel with cold, pedantic precision. But no matter what he was doing, his thoughts would inevitably wander back to you.

Fear, pain and boiling rage competed for dominance within his soul, vigor and rebellious by design. Secure walls of the Enterprise he grew to love and call his home unexpectedly appeared restricting and unwelcoming.

All he wanted was to see you, to feel your hand on his cheek, to hear your voice calling him “Monty” once again. Stars, if you were dead, dying beside you would be a better alternative to the uncertainty.

His temptation to break or tear something apart was immense.

Throwing tantrums would do nothing, however. Therefore, Scotty bottled it up, persistently continuing his work in gravely silence; his subordinates held a respectful distance, wary of the intimidating aura he obtained.

He didn’t ask for it, but the captain would periodically contact him and inform Scotty about all actions executed to find you, both to lighten the engineer's worry and keep him company.

Till, finally, Kirk passed him the coordinates.

Never Scotty ran as fast into the transporter room.

What he saw when the troop materialized in front of him was far from reassuring. Cautiously held by your teammates, you offered a dreadful sight to anyone who even slightly cared about you. No one stopped Scotty as he rushed forward and enveloped you in a possessive hug.

McCoy was only half way there when he met chief engineer carrying you to the sickbay.

Every free minute Scotty was able to carve out of his tight schedule was dedicated to you. His shifts inevitably ended with him hurrying to your bed, by which he would linger long after the hour when the rest of the crew went to sleep. At times he would bring a book or a journal along, but, mostly, he was just looking at you. Waiting.

Fluttering your eyes open, you were greeted with his eyes gazing down at you, longing, hopeful and loving. Your awakening broke sturdy shell he maintained, making his emotions come through all at once: next few minutes he was quietly crying on your chest, feeling happy and calm for the first time in what seemed like forever.

Since that day every mission you have to attend puts Scotty in a state of unease. Although he doesn’t want to deprive you of work you enjoy, he also can’t help the worry growing in his chest as he sees you go.

Nightmarish memories wake him up at night, and he watches you sleep, relishing in presence of you, alive and breathing, while his fear dissipates.

Ocasionaly, you catch him stare, somber eyes dweling into your soul.

His kisses were different, the way he kissed was different. It was more rough and lustful, not that Kirk couldn’t be like that but after coming home from a mission? He was supposed to be resting in their shared quarters but here he was kissing her like he planned to fuck her right here, right now.

She pulled away from the kiss with red swollen lips and opened her eyes to look at him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” She asked after she found her voice through heavy breaths.

“I would rather be resting inside you.” She bit her lip, trying not to laugh.

What the hell was that? She thought as he looked at her with dark crazy eyes.

“You think that’s the line to use?” She teased, knowing that whatever he said to her she would be down for anything.

“I don’t need to use any line.” He stated and picked her up, causing her to gasp.

He was right, he didn’t need to use pick up lines to woo her.

“Shouldn’t we take this to our quarters?” She asked as he set her down on the table where they have meetings.

He shook his head and kissed her, distracting her from the world, the universe, the ship and all to it besides him. She kissed back and felt his rough hands all over her. His hands were needy and grasping her body. His grip was bound to leave bruises but she didn’t care. His hands found their way under her dress.

His hands were cold, so cold that it made her shiver. He moved up, gripping her thighs, pulling them apart. She stared at him, breathing heavily from the multiple kisses they shared.

“You’re so shaky and needy for me, your husband.” He said with a smirk as he felt the fabric of her panties.

She was wet and bucked her hips so feel more, making him chuckle.

“The idea of us making love here.” She explained why she was so wet as if she wouldn’t be anyway.

He removed her panties, sliding them down her legs, slowly.

“We should be quick.” She breathed out as he stuffed her panties in his back pocket.

“I’m the captain of this ship. I can take you wherever I want.” His words were sharp but turned her on even more.

She pulled him in for a kiss as his fingers made their way back up her thighs. She bucked up into his touch once he finally touched her pussy. She moaned into the kiss, relieved that he was rubbing her clit. He pulled away from the kiss, her lips chasing his. He pushed her down on the table and she let him, closing her eyes.

The sinful sounds left her lips with no shame, his movements speeding up. He watched with evil eyes as she cried out. Her moans were beautiful and he needed to hear more. He stopped rubbing her clit and her eyes opened. Before she could question him, one of his fingers was inside of her.

Her back arched as she cried out. He chuckled lowly as he pumped his finger, watching as she lost it.

“Over one finger?” He teased and she made the most pathetic noise.

“Please.” She begged, like he could read her mind.

“It’s not enough?” He teased her but added another finger.

His pace was fast and rough, something that rarely happened but was amazing. His name left her lips in a cry. His other hand moved to her throat, making her breath hitch but she was getting wetter.

“So pathetic.” He said and that’s how she felt.

He curled his fingers and she wailed as he hit her g spot. Her body shook and trembled as her orgasm built up in her body.

“That’s it.” He cooed and her jaw dropped as she came all over his fingers, his hand around her throat squeezed a little causing her breath to stutter.

He removed his fingers and tasted her orgasm. She felt tired and spent as he hummed, telling her how amazing she tasted. How good her walls felt squeezing his fingers. He undid his pants and she sat up seeing him strip them off. She bit her lip, seeing his hard dick. He was so sexy, something that she could never get over.

“You like what you see?”

“Oh you bet.” She said, taking him in her mouth.

His head fell back as she took him deeper in her mouth. He cursed as her wet mouth moved up and down his length, wetting it before she sucked the tip. He placed both hands on her head, her hair was messy and his hands got a good grip on her head before he thrusting his hips. 

She had sucked him off plenty of times that she learned how to control her breathing and not gag but he was being rough today. His hips were thrusting hard and groans left his mouth. She hummed against him as he hit the back of her throat. His hands were gripping her messy hair and he tried to keep himself stable.

His dick twitched inside of her mouth and she moved faster, his hips were moving faster if that was possible and he groaned, quite loudly. His cum filled her mouth and she swallowed every last drop. 

Kirk went looking for her since she hadn’t come back to their quarters yet. She wasn’t answering her comms and he was getting worried.

“Have you seen Y/N?” He asked a few crewmen who gave him a confused look and pointed to the meeting room.

He walked in there and found her asleep on the table.

“Y/N?” She was passed out and had been for an hour.

He shook her shoulder and she woke up, slowly opening her eyes.

“Hi.” She whispered and he gave her a smile.

“Why are you sleeping here?” He asked.

She grabbed his hand, playing with his fingers.

“Earlier was amazing.” She sighed, dreamily as she yawned.

“What happened earlier?” He asked and she thought he was joking.

“Haha you’re really gonna make me say it?” He nodded, not understanding.

She sat up and looked at him, “My sexy husband took me on this table for hours after a few.” She made the motions to fingering and a blowjob.

He pulled his hand back, “What? No we didn’t.”

She laughed, “Yes we did. You were being rough but it was kinda sexy.” She got off the table and walked over to him.

“And I’d appreciate it if you use some of that in the bedroom.” She whispered, seductively.

Kirk shook his head and grabbed her hand telling her that he was taking her to sickbay. She was very confused but let him take her to Bones where she explained what happened. Bones looked over at Kirk with a surprised look.

“I’m confused as to why I'm sharing our sex life with Bones.” She said and Bones was too.

“It never happened.”

“Yes it did.”

“No, it didn’t.”

Bones looked at Kirk and back at Y/N.

“Was he drunk by chance?” He asked her and she shook her head.

She didn’t notice anything off besides the roughness.

“He came in and demanded the bourbon.” Kirk went to protest but Y/N stood up.

“I mean he didn’t taste like bourbon.” She said and looked at her husband.

“I didn’t come in here and demand bourbon .” She wasn’t sure what was going on but she knew that they had sex in the meeting room, she woke up there for crying out loud.

She felt herself move away from her husband as Yeoman was crying and explaining what happened. Though she truly didn’t believe that Kirk would ever do that. He denied it like he had been denying everything that happened.

“It wasn’t me.” He said and looked at Y/N who was away from him now.

“Jim, what is going on?” She asked him.

“There has to be an imposter on this ship that forced himself on to you Yeoman, took the bourbon and..” He trailed off thinking about it, hating it and wanting to punch the imposter.

“Had sex with my wife in the meeting room.” He looked at her and her face went red and she felt guilty.

Kirk was never that rough, that should have been the obvious sign.

“Jim, I’m sorry.” She whispered and he shook his head, walking up to her.

“No, don’t be sorry. He looks exactly like me, talks like me, what were you supposed to do?” He cupped her face.

“See that he wasn’t my husband.” 

Kirk was weak and couldn’t think a lot, not without his other half. Spock had figured that out and how the transporter separated them. Only bad thing was that the creature that it happened to first, died.

“You can’t do this Jim, you’ll die.” She said to him, She wasn’t letting him do this with a chance that he could die. 

“I can’t go on like this.” He said, needing his other half back.

She sat on the bed next to him shaking her head, “We can find a way.” She said and cupped his face.

He closed his eyes and fell into her touch.

“You technically didn’t cheat on me since he’s my other half.” He joked and she scoffed, laying back on the bed. 

“You aren’t my husband.” She spoke into the rough kisses that the evil Kirk was giving her.

He pulled away, the dark look still in his eyes.

“I am your husband and I’m the captain of this ship.” He yelled the last part and grabbed her.

She flinched a little but wasn’t afraid.

“Okay you’re a part of him, the animal part.”

“Your favorite part.” He growled and pulled her closer.

“You’re his downs, his sadness and his anger. You only work with the other parts of him.” She said and tried to get out of his grip.

“You still love me.” She huffed and tried to pull away but it was no use.

Kirk, Spock and Bones burst through the door.

“Let her go.” Kirk told his evil self.

“She’s my wife.” He pulled her closer.

“Even if I’m your other half she still loves me.” She looks at the evil Kirk and can’t see her husband anymore, not after all he’s done.

“You may be a part of him but you, yourself are not my husband.” She whispered and got out of his grip.

He started yelling about being the captain of the ship and how he didn’t want to die.

“I wanna live.” He yelled as Kirk hugged him, “You can, we both can.” 

“You feel like yourself again?” She asked as he was transported back to normal.

He looked at her with a smirk, “Well seeing you again with my whole being really brings out the animal in me.” He joked, causing her to laugh before kissing him.

Spock

He only briefly looks up when he realises that the turbo lift has stopped.

Has no reaction whatsoever and goes back to doing whatever work on his PADD because he figures somebody has to notice it’s out of order fairly quickly

He just goes about his business until he hears you hyperventilating

He already knows why you’re panicking.

Spock does his best to comfort you by telling you that there’s only one turbo lift and therefore someone will have to fix it soon.

He’ll 100% tell you all about the history of elevators and how the turbo lift is so much safer 🤓

If you’re still worried after that he’ll let you hold his hand until someone finally fixes the turbo lift.

Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy

Internally, he also freaks out a little bit

Bones somehow keeps his composure despite being trapped very close to you

He’s entirely in his own head about it until he realises that he can hear you freaking out even more than him

His inner country boy breaks out a little and pulls you close to him

Absolutely kisses your hands and maybe even your cheek to make you giggle a bit

He’ll remind you that you guys have been through way worse than a stopped turbo lift.

Jim Kirk

“Huh” his exact words after realising you’ve stopped.

Honestly, he really really trusts his crew so he won’t be worried at all

But the moment he hears your breathing pick up he’ll start cracking jokes

“Actually this works out perfectly, I was on my way to a meeting”

Pulls you into a big bear hug and tells you how he’d much rather be here with you

if you’re still panicking he’ll say something like “do I have to order you to calm down”

Keeps telling jokes until you laugh

and when you do laugh, he’s pretty sure his heart jumps out of his chest.

Nyota Uhura

Absolute girl boss about it

Would 100% wait it out if it weren’t for the fact that she could see you panicking

But you’re panicking and she can’t bare to see you with anything but a smile on your face

She pulls out her comm and calls down to engineering (why did no one else think to do this? 🧐)

Once she’s done that all she can really do is wait

She won’t even wait or hesitate, she’ll pull you to the floor and sit with you

10/10 would recommend getting stuck in the turbo lift with Nyota, she will cuddle until someone fixes the lift

Sulu

“Oh my”

His mind seriously blanks

But he kicks into gear when he remembers you’re here too

He pulls out a deck of cards and asks if you like magic 🪄

(I dunno why I just think Sulu can do card tricks and stuff 🤷‍♀️)

Card tricks quickly devolves into an intense game of war

Its unexpected for sure, but it works

Scotty

It takes him a moment to notice

But when he hears your breathing he looks up and realises that you’ve stopped

You’re lucky to be stuck in the turbo lift with the head of engineering

He gives you a quick wink 😉 and smirks when you blush

He’d turn around, open up a panel that you didn’t even know existed, and fix it

Bam, problem solved

If you’re really shaken up by it though he’ll probably take you for a drink after or make you tea if you don’t drink

James T. Kirk

GIF by spacewizardtrek

Taking You to Bed

After returning Kirk gives everyone strict orders to return to their quarters.

He notices you wobble a little bit before having to lean in a doorway before nearly collapsing.

He quickly and quietly sneaks up behind you and scoops you up in his arms.

"No falling behind (rank)(L/N)." He winks

He doesn't realize that he's taking you back to his quarters.

He puts you down on the bed and starts removing his uniform. He kindly tosses you a pair of spare pajamas to wear.

He's too tired to think of the consequences when crawls into bed next to you.

He wraps an arm around you spooning you gently.

He's so big it's hard to wiggle away from him but the weight feels nice.

He even nuzzles your hair and murmurs softly, it's just too cute.

Taking Him to Bed

When Kirk orders everyone to bed you notice he's having a hard time staying up himself.

He stumbles a little bit when stepping off the transporter and you have to catch him by the hand.

You carefully wrap an arm around your shoulders and help him to his quarters.

"Thank you (rank)(L/N), you're too good to me." He says giving you a sleepy smile.

You take him back to his quarters stumbling slightly due to his size.

When you get him back you try to gently lower him into the bed but he just falls in pulling you with him.

Eventually, you wiggle out of his grasp and help him change his clothes. He whines, begging you to stay.

You can't help but feel a little sorry for him and decide to change into a borrowed pair of pajamas.

You barely have your clothes on when he pulls you back into bed with him.

He rests his head on your chest and wraps his arms around your waist.

Spock

GIF by groovyqueer

Taking You to Bed

It is so obvious that you are exhausted that even Spock notices.

You protest trying to prove that you're not tired when you trip over your own feet.

Spock catches you in his arms, and in one fell swoop he picks you up in his arms. You quickly wrap your arms around his neck.

"It is all too apparent that you are exhausted (rank)(L/N). I shall escort you to your quarters myself." You could have sworn you saw a smirk.

When your hold slips, he takes it as a sign of further exhaustion. So instead he takes you to his quarters.

It is only logical with his quarters being closer.

His room is far more decorated than you expected. When he sets you on the bed he even removes your shoes and tucks you in.

He sits across from you to make sure you fall asleep.

He may even pull out his harp or read poetry as to ensure you fall asleep faster.

Taking Him to Bed

He let out one of the largest most discrete yawns you had ever seen.

You were almost tempted to ask if he was alright when you noticed the bags under his eyes.

You wrap his arm around your shoulder and insist that he get some sleep before you get Dr. McCoy involved.

"It is illogical for me to continue while I am tired. Can you assist me to my quarters (rank)(L/N)?" You can see a light tint of green brush his cheeks.

You try to take him back to his quarters, but he stumbles a bit and due to his strength you struggle to keep up.

You eventually get him to his quarters by now he's mumbling things that you can't quite make out. (Partly because it's mostly Vulcan.)

When you get him into bed and help him out of his uniform and into his pajamas. He suddenly gets quiet and stares at you.

His eyes are soft and his gaze is sad, almost longing.

He holds his hand out to you as you lower him into bed and pull the covers over him.

His fingers graze your cheek and he whispers something unintelligible in Vulcan. You smile as you take his hand and place it on his chest.

Dr. Leonard McCoy

GIF by garnetshell

Taking You to Bed

Dr. McCoy wastes no time and gives everyone strict orders for bed rest.

He notices you are struggling to pick yourself up after stumbling.

He even lets out an annoyed groan before wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pick you up.

"Come on Doctor's orders, don't make me drag you there." He says

He takes a while to drag you to sick bay. He convinces himself it was just a precaution to make sure you don't have anything else wrong.

He puts you into bed and orders the others to leave the two of you alone.

He's too tired to try and return to his quarters so he takes a bed next to yours.

You're fast asleep by the time he sits down in his own bed. He watches you for a moment wondering what it would be like to snuggle with you.

He shakes the thought from his mind until he feels you grab the back of his shirt. (You're worse than Kirk.)

He tucks you back into place before gently patting your head. He's a doctor, not a teddy bear. (Though he would love to be your teddy bear.)

Taking Him to Bed

He may be a doctor but he is also a hypocrite, even though he orders everyone to bed he insists he's fine.

When he almost falls off the transporter you have to catch him and wrap an arm under him to keep him steady.

He protests slightly but eventually gives up when realizes you're stronger than him.

"Fine, this is ridiculous I'm a doctor, not a baby!" He grumbles

It's almost kind of sweet how he tries to drunkenly tell you how he can take care of himself as you drag him to the sickbay.

It is safer to take him to the sickbay that way other doctors and nurses can keep an eye on him. He tries to protest yet again but he gives up.

You finally get him into a bed and help him out of his uniform and into a pair of spare pajamas.

He gets really quiet when he sees you helping him and not teasing him like Spock or Kirk would.

He knows he'll hear it tomorrow though.