#kirby:threads

kirby hasn’t slept at the commune in a few days, they’d go to change their clothes then disappear off to a vacant house to be alone for the night to try and process their feelings and thoughts on just everything really. they were at least showing up to the ren faire still, mostly to show their face and prove they were still alive but as they were walking around they spotted teddy and knightley talking and immediately assumed that he was spilling their secrets to him.

realistically kirby knew knightley wouldn’t actually do that and it was just their anxiety talking but in a sense it helped because it made them realize they don’t want teddy to hear it from someone else. he waited though, mostly to be polite, until knightley looked like he was about to walk away when kirby came up between the two and grabbed teddy by the wrist and started dragging him away. “need to borrow him, thanks!” they didn’t let go of him until they were in a more secluded area where there was little to no people before finally turning to look at teddy and took a deep breath.

Ward glanced at Kirby who was pressed against him on the couch, the latest horror movie they'd been watching had only the credits rolling on the screen. He was debating bringing up everything that had been happening lately, neither of them had really seemed to even have been watching. "Hey, what happened after we told Reggie about Raz? You've been acting off since the lake and I don't know...I know it was a lot to tell him but you just look even more nervous lately...."

kirby was zoned out for most of the movie and was really just enjoying the warmth of the other at that point until the movie ended. “hm?” they hummed looking up at him and gave a small shrug. “oh..” they mumbled, “i um, kind of got into it with someone who i guess was friends with the guy i killed..” they finally admitted as the looked back down.

Ward brought his hand up, brushing it against the fading bruises on Kirby's neck. "This isn't a dig at you or anything, but Christ, what is even your luck," he mumbled softly. Sighing he brought his hand up to brush against their hair, "It was self defense, do we need to see Reggie again or is this guy gonna leave you alone?"

that got a little chuckle out of them. "fuckin, wish i knew." kirby shook their head a little bit, biting their lip as they thought about everything that was said to them. "i don't want to involve reggie again then he's just going to start thinking i'm the problem.." they admitted and adjusted the way they were sitting so they could look at him. "but.. i don't think he's going to leave me alone."

Ward frowned continuing to play with Kirby's hair as they talked. "Why would you be the problem, he knows what happened in that house wasn't your fault. Hell if this guy is friends with that guy he might be just as unstable." Saying it out loud and hearing what Kirby followed up with made him hesitate for the first time. "Between him and Raz...and you're not planning on leaving the Commune are you," he asked softly.

"i don't know," kirby shrugged, "because all i seem to do is attract trouble. between everything's that happened and how i didn't tell him until recently after it's already been a year i don't know if he'd even believe me." they chewed on their lip, really trying to think about their options at this point. "i've..." a short pause, "thought about it but i can't bring myself to do it."

"That's not all you do," Ward said shaking his head before rubbing his face with a sigh. "People get scared to talk to cops, but he seems like a good guy. For a cop at least," he was trying to joke to lighten the mood but wasn't sure where it landed. "It's ok, you've lived there a while...guess I just worry you being somewhere with Raz...but also keep hearing they can go out so maybe it is safer there." He wasn't sure how to feel about that, Harvey still in his mind.

kirby shrugged, "yeah i guess." they'd think about it at least but they had a feeling that might make things worse. "almost four years," they mumbled with a nod, ignoring the part about walking outside cause frankly they'd been dealing with so much lately they weren't even sure that was true. "it's also like.. even with raz i'm still surrounded by a lot of people they're not going to do anything there." they had to take a deep breath though before adding, "the guy... he um, he said he was going to go after people i love because i took away someone he loved."

"True safety in numbers" though Ward didn't sound fully convinced about that. That only felt worse as Kirby continued, his gaze dropping to his hands on his lap as he clenched his bad hand and unclenched it. One the one hand Andrew passing hadn't been something he actively wanted, on the other it meant Ava was relatively safe now. One less thing to worry about. If this guy was as unhinged as he seemed, if he had a weapon like Jae-Sung... "Kirby...," Ward swallowed the nervous lump in his throat, it been a while since he'd called than anything but babe, "What if he decides to go after Ava?"

kirby only nodded but everything felt like it froze when they heard their name. they couldn’t figure out why that stung a little bit. “he won’t,” they said quietly knowing they couldn’t promise that.

Ward was messing with his hands, "You don't know he won't. He already attacked you in broad daylight...I can't....I can't lose her too."

all kirby could do was stay silent. they didn’t know what to say at this point without feeling like they were going to make everything worse. they scooted a little away from him now and stared at their hands in their lap, blinking back a few tears that were threatening to form.

Ward didn't like where his own thoughts were going, "I don't...it's not your fault things are happening like this. But I....I don't know what to do that keeps us happy and her safe..."

that was exactly what kirby was afraid to hear and they couldn't even be mad about them because he was right and they didn't know either. "okay.." they said quietly and quickly wiped at their cheek, "i understand."

There was a part of Ward wishing he could be selfish enough to not care. But other than Oliver he was all Ava had left and she was the last thing of Sammie's he had. He hesitated before pulling Kirby against his side and pressing his lips to the side of their head. "If you don't want to I get it...but if you wanted to swing by the projectionists booth that still be ok....," he mumbled softly, "If things cool off later on...I...I do love you and I don't want you to get reckless just cause of this.."

kirby had to stop themselves from pulling away as ward pulled them into him because they didn't want the comfort at that moment, they just wanted to leave. "i don't... i don't think i can do that i'm sorry." they mumbled, voice cracking as the spoke. this hurt, it hurt a lot even if they understood. they couldn't even promise not to be reckless because of this because they knew themselves. "i think i should go."

Ward pulled back after a second shifting on the couch and swallowing hard again. "It's ok, I get it," and he did. This sucked in multiple ways. "I can go first,"he mumbled softly, "Give you a chance to call someone over or head back to the Commune." Standing up he fiddled with his hands again, "I'll…we'll see each other later. At some point," he said softly before starting to head out.