#king bach

This is one of your classic “the babysitter turns out to be an ageless baddie” story. You know the ones. Cole is a little dorky kid (and who doesn’t love a little dorky kid, come ON people?) and he is getting picked on at school for still having a babysitter, that is until they see how hot Bee is. Cole’s folks go out of town so he needs a babysitter for the evening and wouldn’t you know Bee is the one for him. They get along like a house fire though and things seem more than normal, exceptional really. That is until Bee offers the tween a double shot to help him fall asleep. Not strange at all. Cole feeds it to a plant but pretends to drink up, wanting to impress Bee. This is the beginning of the weirdness. Next after Cole is in bed Bee invites friends over, now as an old Babysitter I can firmly say this is a big no-no. The only thing I would do once the kids were asleep was raid the snacks they weren’t allowed to eat and then watch The N (does this age me too much?).

Anyway, Bee and her friends are playing Truth or Dare with a Spin the Bottle twist and it is Bee’s turn and she is tasked with kissing the whole group and when she gets to our odd man out (who literally says “I’m not really a part of the group”) she kisses him but then stabs him in the head with two knives so there is certainly something fishy going on. Cole of course is spying on this whole thing from the staircase and is horrified. The hot teens collect the sacrificial blood in two chalices and start talking about Satan, like, okay, not the direction I thought this was going but I guess that's just how Samara Weaving movies go sometimes. Random Satan. Though this came out before Ready or Not.

The hot teens go up to get innocent blood from Cole and he pretends to sleep through it but Bee catches him and they tie him up. Not before the cops are called though! And then a big mistake because both cops get killed and one of the teens gets shot and it looks like right in the heart but I guess it wasn’t because she keeps kicking for a while. Cole is able to escape and he pushes one of the boys down the stairs which kills him, yikes! Next he goes into the crawlspace and lights a fire that takes out another teen, wack! Then he is face to face with the quarterback who is oddly inspiring but it ends up okay because he dies thanks to his own hubris.

Finally it is just down to Cole and Bee, Cole escapes next door to the girl he has a crush on. He is able to hide her and himself from Bee who now has a fucking shotgun and he scored a kiss from his crush (which terrified him because he thought it meant he was about to get stabbed). He makes it back to his house and the chick who was shot is still there and kicking which is wack and a half but Bee shoots her head clean off for Cole, saving him. You kinda think that she's good now but she has already shown herself as a witch or whatever she is, The Big Bad. Cole threatens to set her book on fire and she tries to talk him down but he is too smart. He even sends a car into the living room pinning her down. They have one last talk, it is beautiful and sad, Cole really loved Bee.