people don’t talk enough about just how upsetting species dysphoria can be, but you can never really talk about it because it either feels so unserious/silly or something to do with serious mental illness whenever you try to explain it to anyone who isn’t alterhuman (not that there’s anything wrong with it if it is mental illness or delusion ofc, it’s just that that’s the first conclusion people always come to)
like i’ll say
“yeah basically as much as i love dog show agility/running dog videos i don’t watch them often because i get pretty dysphoric about my body not being able to run and move that way or that fast”
and it’ll either be
“uhhh what? i thought u were just like some “hehe silly ouppy boy :3” person wdym dysphoria….so like…you ACTAULLY think your a dog…and like wanna be a dog…? oh sweetie…that’s not…”
OR
“youuuu know that’s not healthyyyyy, like yknow that means your delusionallllll and you have psychosisssss rightttt? and like that you have a mental illnessss and like you needa go to therapyyyy righttttt?”
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i was encouraged by literally ONE person so i caved and wrote about why i kin all the ddlc girls.. siighh..
tw for under the cut: mention of mental illness, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, self harm, child abuse, child neglect, disordered eating, cptsd, abandonment issues, bpd symptoms, and probably more. it's ddlc, what did you expect?
honestly nervous to post this because i might just be giving my stalker ammunition to send me hate but i think i can handle it :] i'll be going from least to most relatability for me, though, as i've said, i relate to them all a lot !
yuri ! ₊✩‧₊˚📕˚₊✩‧₊
starting off with yuri,
dreamy and likes complex meaningful writing
affinity for horror
pessimistic at times
deals with paranoia and anxiety
has delusional meltdowns
very obsessive tendencies
self harm that is held against her
natsuki ! ⋅˚₊‧ 🧁‧₊˚ ⋅
next off, natsuki
blunt style
affinity for cutesy things
tsundere tendencies
desperately wants to be taken seriously
feeling like she's falling behind
pushes those close to her away
uses escapism as an unhealthy coping mechanism
severe money issues
underweight
victim of child neglect
victim of child abuse
sayori ! ⊹₊｡🌧️°₊ ⊹
second to last is sayori,
she's bubbly and clumsy
severely masking
constantly deflecting issues
desperate for everyone to get along and be happy
an appreciation for the world around her, though she is unable to make herself happy with it
constant suicidal ideation
struggles to take care of herself
inability to hide the signs of declining mental health despite her attempts
she likes seeing the people she cares about being happy with others because it makes her feel like they'll do well without her, despite the selfish feeling that she doesn't want them to do well without her, the jealous part of her that wants them to love her even though it hurts her to feel like a burden.
unable to perceive herself as anything but a problem for others
suicide attempts
monika ! ⊹₊ ˚‧₊💿₊‧ ˚ ₊⊹
last, but certainly not least is monika,
similar personalities
look very similar
runs a literature club
plays piano
perfectionist to a fault
devoted and caring
always trying to be a perfect leader, even when feeling inadequate
shameful of her imperfections as a leader
conscious facade of perfection out of necessity for others
masking and ignoring emotions to care for others causing a buildup to snapping and breaking down, hurting others in the process when it gets to be too much
feels as if any love she's given is false, a placation to appease her
disconnected from the reality shes in and unable to reconnect
deep shame and regret for hurting those she cares about, even if it was something that wasn't entirely her fault
aware that she's not human
painted as insane, crazy, a yandere, and a villain because of the situation she was put in
desperately wants to be chosen, wants to be approved of, just once
feels like she never will be truly loved as much as she loves
He’s so pretty and funny and sweet and he’s SUCH an asshole in such a lovable way I want to hug him and kiss him and brush his hair and give him a good luck hug backstage every night he has a show and then run to the audience and sit in my seat and watch him tell his stupid jokes that I love so much and then run to meet him after the show and give him the tightest hug ever and I miss him so much RICHIE TOZIER I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Sorry for posting about this, I just wanna remind people about my kin boundaries.
I'm immediately gonna block you once you were to say "OMG MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" under my literally me kin posts.
Sorry.. But it makes me very uncomfortable, because this is a post about me/my experiences, and not about you/your experiences 😭😭😭 /nm /gen
I'd only be ok with it if you're a really close friend.. This isn't me trying to gatekeep, I just get really weirded out by people who do this. I get you're trying so hard to relate, or you're trying to be silly, but if anything this makes you look like an asshole.
Especially when I've literally stated in the post that I view the character as me...
I'm sorta ok with people who also kin my literally me kins for the most part, people have different experiences and that's totally ok, just don't say THIS under my posts. Or be a jerk in general..
one thing about my canon that actual mbav canon left out ? how unbelievably animalistic vampires are.
and i don't just mean in violence contexts !!!
we hiss. we growl. we purr. we trill. we're territorial over physical and nonphysical things. we follow things with our eyes like prey. we like physical activity. we like dark small spaces. we like beds with a million pillows and blankets. we rely very heavily on smells. hell, if you pick a vampire up by their backpack or the back of their shirt ? they curl up and just look at you like kittens do when you grab their scruff. obviously these vary a little bit but.
i'm a vampdog ( vampire / weredog ) in source so obviously i'm naturally more animalistic but that doesn't mean normal vampires aren't. i just happen to also pant and shake when my hair is wet and howl.
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Okay so like I’m a fallen angel right? That’s a thing.
I’m pretty sure my name was Onyx, and that I lost my wings (and by that I mean they were torn and ripped down to like a few inches off my back)
But like I want a god to “worship” idk if it’s just the angel urge to worship someone, but I want to be apart of a god’s following.
Not like in the angel way, even if I know that’s what I would have originally wanted, but more of in the way I want a god who is worshipped and that I can join the following but not be a “follower”
I don’t want to be holy or anything like that again. I do want a god, but not to worship. Just to have, and sometimes follow the rules. I want someone to follow and annoy because I won’t comply like angels should.
I lost my holiness long ago, and don’t care for it back. I want to playful piss of my god, and play pranks on the normal angels. I want to laugh and play with other fallens from the same following.
I want a community based on a god and the followers. I want people who I use to relate to, and people who I currently relate to. I went a home. I want the little of what’s left of my wings to be taken care of by my peers. I want to be home with others like me….
Man, what’s the point of having my wings if I can’t even feel they properly stretch out?! I can’t fly! They’re torn too much for them to fly.
:( I wish I could I miss flying, but my wings aren’t big enough anymore
Man am I glad I don’t remember my falling though. That’s gonna be a painful memory when it comes, but for now I think I’m fine with not knowing.
I have wondered how I ended up hear in this world, sometimes I feel like my soul was displaced and just landed in the closest body. I believe I may have been hunted. Living as a strange being in the English country side and leading lost travellers into my realm between realities. I suspect that the people of the small towns and villages that I wandered near may have begun thinking of me as a bringer of death and so they hunted me down. It wasn’t often that I manifested physically enough to be killed but I do believe I was eventually shot down by a few hunters who had been perusing me. I do miss having my ethereal form..🦷👁🦌
I honestly don't know if i could see myself in a relationship with anyone but an alterhuman. i don't know if they would be fully accepting and it would be difficult to express my needs to someone who just isn't experiencing what i am. i really would like it to not be the case but...
