#kin discourse

I had to stop participating in Artfight two years ago because my abuser/kin thief started playing. Artfight not only refuses to ban him, but actually banned ME for trying to confront him. It appears that he abandoned his old account, but he’s been known to rebrand. This person psychologically and verbally abused me starting when I was 12, manipulates and fakes health issues to avoid accountability, and it’s very likely that he’s still claiming victims. I don’t have direct proof of his past actions because most of it happened on a Discord account I deleted and I didn’t think to save screenshots, but I do have some other evidence through testimony and doctor’s notes. 

Jay / Nighty / Jared / Bucky / NotARegularGuy1999 / NARG1999 / 19961234561 / 19961234abc / anonymousguy19961234abc / BuckyBoi2D / PleaseLeaveMeAlone / ImSorryNighty / ImSorryNightyPleaseStop

Note: the above usernames are outdated or abandoned, anyone who is actively using them now is not Jay. 

I met Jay when I was 12 and he was 14. I’m catkin, specifically I’m a Warrior cat in Riverclan named Nightheart. When I first joined Tumblr, I spent a lot of time scrolling through the WC tags to see if there was anyone using the name Nightheart for their OCs so I could tell them to stop. Most of them blocked/ignored me, but Jay (going by Nighty at the time with the username NotARegularGuy1999) apologized and changed his name to Jay/Jayheart. He told me it was awful that all the other people that were using my kin name for their OCs didn’t care about how stressful it was for me, which made me trust him enough to add him on Discord. 

Jay was the only person willing to roleplay with me (nobody at school was into WC as much as we were), but he would always write these REALLY long messages that I just couldn’t keep up with. He’d get frustrated and refuse to play anymore because I’d respond with a few sentences, which was traumatizing for me given the fact that Nightheart is literally me and I had no other way to be myself (nobody at school understood what kinning was). Eventually this psychological abuse escalated into verbal abuse when I begged him to play with me and he yelled at me over text. I kept begging him to play with me for years and he would abuse me over it nearly every single day. Eventually when I was 14 and he was 16, he said that his mom was grounding him for a few months because she caught him being groomed by his boyfriend. I had a feeling this was a lie because his then boyfriend was 15, and two weeks into the grounding, Jay deleted his Discord. I ended up talking to said BF for his side of the story and he said that Jay was doing it so he didn’t have to be friends with me anymore. I haven’t been able to contact the ex bf again because someone with the same username as him got outed as a predator a few months later (this was before Discord changed how it does usernames) and he deleted his account. 

I didn’t want to believe that Jay would abandon me like that. I waited for the full three months to see if he’d come back and he didn’t. His Tumblr was gone too. I kept searching his name and all the tags he’s probably use for YEARS, until finally, I found him again with a new account when he was an adult and I was 16. Note that at this time, I didn’t really view what he did to me when I was 12-14 as abusive because I was trauma bonded to him. He said that he was going by his legal name now (Jared) and he didn’t actually leave me on purpose, it’s just that his mom made him delete his accounts and after a few months in therapy he realized he didn’t want to be on social media anymore. 

I added him on Discord again (btw, my Discord never changed so he could’ve easily added me himself). I was really excited because I had gotten a little better at roleplaying and thought I’d be able to actually keep up with him. I asked if we could roleplay and he said he didn’t really do that anymore because of the stuff with his ex. I begged and told him how important it was for me, so he said he’d try, but when I started by having Nightheart jump out of the bushes to greet her long-lost friend, he told me that he doesn’t do stuff with Warrior Cats anymore. 

This devastated me and was extremely, EXTREMELY traumatizing. This wasn’t just roleplay for me, it was my ONLY way of existing the way I truly am inside. Every time I tried to stress this, Jay would just manipulate me by saying sorry over and over and talking about how bad he felt. After a few months, he told me that we didn’t seem to have much in common anymore and abandoned me. I started talking to my therapist about potentially being traumatized by what happened a week after I got over the shock. I’ve had people (Jay’s enablers/sympathizers) tell me that this doesn’t count as trauma before so I’d like to clarify that my PTSD is professionally diagnosed. HERE is the diagnostic paperwork.

Once I realized what Jay did to me, I started trying to come up with a way to confront him about it. He got “harassed” for saying he was a lesbian while he’s still 14.8% male on Tuesdays/Thursdays and it led to him changing his username to NARG1999, so I knew at that point that I needed to keep better track of him. I blocked him on a side account so that it’d update every time he changed his username. I had to take 4x the amount of Xanax I’m allowed to in a day but when I was 16.5 and he was an adult, I finally confronted him about abusing me for years. At that point, he was going by the name Bucky. I knew in my heart that he hadn’t changed and he proved it by blocking me in response. So, I made alt accounts to confront him about that too. Eventually, he responded to my message and said that he was really sorry because he had no idea that what he did felt traumatizing for me. He also said he blocked me because he didn’t want to think about the trauma that was going on in his life during that time and he just felt really bad about not being a good friend to me while we were young. 

Because I believed him, I instantly felt better and tried to see if he wanted to be friends again, but he stopped replying shortly after, then blocked me and changed his username to 19961234561 after a few weeks of messaging him. My therapist said that avoiding me like this made it clear that he wasn’t actually sorry. She told me to just give up and try to move on. I decided to listen to her, but this was a mistake, because in the process, I deleted my old Discord account so I’d never have to see the old roleplay ever again (I had been re-reading it every day since he got grounded when I was 14). 

I am FAR from Jay’s only victim. When I was 16.7, I got testimony from his ex-gf that he was neglectful by not responding to all her messages (just some of them) and lying about being in a psych ward when he ignored her for a week, HERE are the receipts for that. She also confronted him about this the day after he broke up with her and he blocked her. He deleted his account and made a new one with another weird cryptic name after ignoring all her other attempts to contact her. Thankfully, I knew his naming conventions and let her know about it. She asked her followers if anyone else had testimony and there were a LOT of anonymous people that talked about Jay abusing them, HERE, HERE, and HERE for example. 

Jay’s ex-gf got called out for grooming a minor a few months later so I don’t condone her actions or support her as a person, but that doesn’t negate what Jay did to her and the people that were willing to open up to her. Jay deleted his account and didn’t make a new one for a year. He didn’t post on his Facebook either (can’t say what it was here bc it’s his full name, it’s in the Kiwi Farms thread mentioned further down if interested) but I did see some people tagging him wishing him well. For a while, I almost started to recover, and then when I was 17.8, I saw a very familiar art style in the Warrior cats tags of an OC named Nightheart from BuckyBoi2D (Jay, who was an adult). 

I don’t think I have to explain how violating this is. I immediately tried to contact him and he just deleted his account. He deleted his Facebook and his Discord. He FINALLY responded on LinkedIn, saying that he didn’t actually remember that I ever had a Warrior cat OC (not an OC) named Nightheart. Supposedly, he got hit by a car and it gave him a brain injury. He claimed that it made him regress a little and he got back into Warrior Cats. I told him to change his OC’s name to Jayheart and he said he would. I tried to ask him if he’d roleplay WC with me now but he blocked me right before I hit enter. 

Given the fact that Jay lied about other things, it’s reasonable to assume that he lied about the brain injury too. His ex-gf (again, don’t condone her as a person) made a Kiwi Farms thread about him and it debunked all the fake injury and manipulation with evidence. I understand that Kiwi Farms is problematic and I don’t support the website as a whole but it’s really spot on in this case. There is a collection of testimony from COUNTLESS people about how awful he is. Jay is a terrible, abusive person who has never changed and continued to hurt people to this day. He fakes health issues to avoid accountability and hides from his victims by changing usernames/deleting accounts. I can’t find his current Tumblr account but the last post he made on the previous one (ImSorryNightyPleaseStop) was a fake suicide note directed at me, where he told me to “stop harassing him” because he has severe depression and it’s making him feel suicidal. Even if that was true, which it’s not, mental illness isn’t an excuse. 

After about a year of hiding, he showed up on Artfight with a group of friends that enable/sympathize with him using his stolen Nightheart character. I (17-and-19/10ths year old minor) couldn’t message him (adult) about it because I was already blocked and when I tried to message his friends, they called me a stalker/harasser and told me to leave him alone. I made a second account to confront him and Artfight banned both that and my main account. Despite this, Jay changed his username to PleaseLeaveMeAlone again half a year ago, acknowledging that he KNOWS he did something wrong, and made a new account that I don’t know about yet. If you figure out what it is, please let me know.

I don't have the energy to reply right now since I'm still running on 3 hours of sleep. But this is your reminder that I'm a spiritual therian and a spiritual-ish fictionkin and I still support people who are kin for fun.

>Being fictionkin is racist and believing it's a past life is the same as saying you can transition into another race now_

The ones who don't take us seriously will get the message eventually and drop it, and those who are genuine will figure it out and stick around.

Kinning language and kinning as a concept makes me so uncomfortable. It's just close enough to identity disorders to be a mockery. I'm not going to berate it, or say nobody can use it; it just makes me personally so, so frustrated since most "kinnies" have been blatantly ableist and misinformed entirely about DID/systems as a whole.

If the word kin is being used in a way that means alterhuman or objectum... Fine. Okay, I guess. You could've used any other word that doesn't have the connotation kin does. But I am sympathetic to the idea that words change with time, I'm not gonna bite your head off.