#khhrapper

092921

(The man whom I miss and love v much)

I was getting dressed ready to meet up with dean. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple months but only started officially dating recently, the amount of pressure we’ve had from fans and new articles... it’s been wild. Dean and I both wanted to keep our fresh relationship undercover because we just wanted time together before becoming public for the world to have their input. He invited me to his show tonight so here I am on my way, I was so excited to see him after a whole week of him being in japan for work. Ever since we met we’ve been meeting regularly so a week felt like a month, I’m excited but I’m nervous like I feel after tonight everyone’s gonna know about our relationship. I’m not ready for my ig comments to turn into people’s diary. After I finished getting dressed I message dean

Me: Hey babe

Me: I’m ready

~ Baby💖 Calling ~

I pick up ‘hi’ I start ‘why didn’t you just call’ he giggles. ‘I didn’t know if you was busy’ I walk into the kitchen to make a little snack ‘I’m never too busy for you’ he replies. I start cheesing way too hard ‘okayyy’ he laughs at my response ‘so you ready for the driver to pick you up’ I can hear him moving into a quieter room. ‘Yeah’ ‘ok cool it’s coming soon, I can’t wait to see you’ he’s just tooo cute ‘neither can I’ I play with the rip in my jeans. ‘We have something to talk about when you get here’ I get a little worried ‘what’ I’m eager to know. ‘I’ll let you know when you get here’ I roll my eyes ‘ugh I hate thaaat’ he just chuckles ‘I’ll seen you soon’ he says as I hear people calling him. ‘See you’ I make kiss sound and put the phone down. I finish my snack and I hear a text as I clean the sides.

Dean: cars outside

I grab my puffer jacket and head down.

‘Thank you’ I said to the driver and step out. I made my way into the venue from the back, as I’m walking I see security guards for the venue so I text dean because they don’t know me. He got his manager come get me. My stomach started with the nervous butterflies and I started smiling, his manager opened his dressing room door for me ‘thanks’.

I stepped in and saw him sat there on the couch with his friends ‘ hi’ I said quietly as they all looked to see who just came through the door. Dean jumped up and hugged me tight ‘hi baby’ he whispered in my ear ‘I missed you so much’ I rubbed his back ‘i missed you too’ his friends got up and started leaving. I started shaking my head and stepping away he just pulled me back ‘let them go’ he stared at me as I whispered a quick ‘sorry’ as they closed the door. He pulled me to the couch and took my jacket off before I sat down. ‘I like this’ he said as he ran his hand down my corset/ top. I wore it with baggy light blue jeans and blue air Jordan 1s. My hair was up in messy curly bun and I went with light makeup completed with a necklace and matching studs. ‘Thanks’ I looked at him, I needed to take in his beauty. He softly pinched my cheek ‘what’ I shook my head. He leant in and lightly kissed me, I kissed him back before a knock on the door interrupted us. ‘Come in’ he shouted, his manager ‘you gotta be on stage in like 10 minutes’ he looked at his watch and then back up at dean. Dean nodded ‘I’m coming’ his manager closed the door, dean stood up and held my hand ‘let’s go’ as we were leaving his room I remembered what he said on the phone ‘what did you want to talk about?’ He looked back ‘I want everyone to know that you’re my girlfriend’ he smiled. ‘What’ I was a little shook, ‘you don’t want that?’ I nodded ‘I do... it’s just random and I’m a little scared’ he stopped and looked down at me ‘one everyone kinda knows we’re dating and two I would never let anyone hurt you EVER’ in that moment I didn’t care anymore ‘yeah let’s do it’ I smile at him. He smiled back and pecked my lips before getting his mic pack on. He kept looking over at me and pulling faces and winking, he’s so silly. He finally stepped onto the stage and the scream were loud af, I watched him perform from the side and sang along. He rushed off after all the goodbyes and took off his pack. ‘Let’s go babe’ he held my hand as we made our way back to his dresser, he went a took a shower and got changed. ‘I’m done.... babe?’ I looked up from my phone ‘hmm’ he put on his coat ‘let’s do a insta live’ I thought about it for like 2 seconds and then nodded. He smiled and took his phone and turn it on, he put his phone on the table and watched everyone come in and started commenting. He waved ‘hi guys’ ooh I was nervous all over again. ‘How is everyone?’ He asked, he looked a little serious as he read comments and I knew he was nervous too. ‘I’m good... I’m glad you enjoyed the show’ he smiled. ‘I have something to tell you guys..... yeah secret announcement’ he looked up at me and smiled. It’s now or never I thought, what’s the worse that can happen? Right! He waved me to come closer to him and get in the camera. He put his arm over my shoulders ‘this is my girlfriend guys, y/n’ I waved like an idiot and he giggled ‘be nice to her guys.... we just wanted to come on here and let you guys know, I guess some of you knew I was dating’ he looked at me so I looked at him like he had something to say. We just stared at each other and then laughed because it was awkward. We started to read the comments, this was what I was scared of.

Comment: I KNEW YOU WERE DATING

comment: EJBSKSBDJDIEJE I SHIP IT

Comment: OMG SHES SO PRETTYYYEHSHS

I giggled at the comments ‘thanks guys’ dean couldn’t stop staring at me ‘what’s up?’ I asked him. He shook his head ‘nothing’ I turned back to his phone

Comment: The WAY he’s looking at her like helloooooo IM

JEALOUS!

Comment: This is WHY HES BEEN SO HAPPY THESE DAYS.

‘She is the reason why I’ve been so happy that’s true’ he held my hands and kissed them.

Comments flooded in too fast ‘awww’ ‘goals’ is what it was pretty much filled with.

Dean smiled ‘ok guys thanks for all the love and support but we’re gonna go now I’m hungry’ he turned to me ‘you hungry?’ I nodded ‘I’m starving’ he picked up his phone ‘see guys my baby’s starving so I’ve gotta go, bye... I love you all’ he pressed the button and switched it off. ‘Whew.. at least now there’s no hiding and no fear of articles blasting us! We’ve already done it’ he came and held my waist. ‘True’ I agreed, he put my jacket on me ‘let’s go’ he stood there holding his hand out while I was zipping my jacket up. When I looked up he was staring at me ‘babe seriously what?’ I questioned him. ‘I love you’ he said too quickly as if it fell out his mouth without any control. I stepped to him and looked him in his eyes ‘I guess the cats out the bag’ he chuckled nervously ‘I love you too’ I said and I truly meant it. We hugged tightly and he put my fallen curls behind my ear before passionately kissing me. ‘Right now we need to go eat before I faint and dragged me out.

No matter how much I tried Jaewon was never down for my cute couple outfits, he wore the same jacket as me once but ended up changing before we left. He thinks the whole concept of it all is just too weird, like why would 2 fully grown adults have to wear matching outfits to show the fact that they were in a relationship? He didn’t get it at all, just like how he also wasn’t down for pda. Me on the other hand I love it all, not the full identical outfits but maybe the same bag or jewellery or even shoes. I would love to kiss and latch onto Jae whenever I wanted without him slightly moving and telling me ‘babe just wait’ I love him so much that sometimes he does one cute thing and I just wanna kiss him then and there but I know he’d never let that happen, fun police.

I come home from a photo shoot with a gym wear brand to see Jaewon sat on the couch with a gift bag next to him. He looked up at the door and smiled ‘finally you’re home’ he waited till I got close to him and he pulled me to sit on his lap, why can’t he do this in public? I look at him all weird ‘what’s up with you today?’ I ask ‘nothing I just love you’ he grinned. I shake my head, he’s up to something, He’s never this clingy! He picked up the bag and handed it to me ‘I got you a little gift because you’ve been working so hard lately and you still look after me and make sure I’m good no matter what time or day is it!’ Before I get the chance to open it he closes the top, he tells me to take it into the room and wear it tonight and then we’re going out towards Han river there was an event on with musicians and dancers. I clutch the bag and go to stand up he pulls me back down and kisses me then pushes me to stand. ‘Go and please don’t take too long, you don’t need make up’ he shouts as I walk to the bedroom, I scoff, I’m wearing makeup. I shower and make my way into the room to get lotioned up and dressed, with my towel wrapped around me I sit and start applying my makeup forgetting about the gift jae got me. I see through the reflection of the mirror him poking his head through, he looks around and looks at the bag ‘did you not open it yet?’ He looks at me and down at my make up and rolls his eyes accompanied with a groan. ‘Nope but let me do it now I forgot’ I reach over for the bag. He sits on the edge of the bed and watches me open it. I pull out a grey Calvin Klein set.... I’ve got loads of these, not in grey but why is he acting like the gift was diamonds or something. Still I very grateful for the gift it’s just random ‘thanks baby’ I push my wheelie chair towards him and peck his lips he holds me there for a while. I giggle and start finishing up my makeup.

He watches me through the entire process ‘you don’t need all that on your face, you’re so pretty baby girl’ he says looking so confused. I smile at him ‘whats gotten into you today?’ I have to ask again, overwhelmed with all these compliments. He shrugs and I stand up to put on the ck set, he still stares at me as I pull the underwear on under my towel and try to put on the bra without him seeing anything. He’s seen me naked loads of times but today he’s just staring at me so hard I can’t help but feel a little shy. I take the towel off me and start looking for what to wear, I go for a baggy t shirt that is sheer enough to see the bra and boyfriend jeans that hang of my hips so you can still see the ck band. I complete the outfit with white trainers and put my curly Afro in a sleek low ponytail. I turn to see him still looking at me...surprise and I walk up to him. He’s laying back on to the bed and holds my hand saying nothing ‘let’s go then’ I smile he pulls my hand and I fall on top of him, he slides his hands into my jeans but on top of my underwear squeezing my butt and kisses me a few more times. I love this clingy jaewon, he’s never normally like this. ‘Let’s go’ he speaks lowly his lips still on mine.

~~~ Han river

We arrive at Han river and there’s so many people here for the event, loads of street food, lights... it looks beautiful. Jaewon holds my hand tighter and pulls me through the crowd till we’re near the front but more towards the side. He stands behind me and hugs my waist, as the night goes on I get hungry. We’ve already seen people do kpop covers, original dances and songs, I enjoyed the whole thing. I turn around and face jaewon and put my head on his chest ‘what’s wrong baby?’ He asks ‘I’m hungry’ I say into his black bomber jacket my voice all muffled. He giggles ‘let’s go get food’

We decided on sharing a small pizza and now we were going to get ice cream. While we were stood in the line there were people staring at us, was it because they recognised jaewon? Or was it they recognised me? Or was it because I was a black girl with a Korean man? I don’t know but all I cared about was jaewon’s eyes on me. ‘Jae seriously what is up? Do you have something to tell me?’ I catch him staring at me for the 100th time today. He pulls me closer and hugs me ‘now I get why you love all that matching couple shit’ I look at him and pull a confused face ‘like you’re wearing the set I got you and all these guys keep looking at you but you’re mine!’ I smile but I still look at him confused ‘babe that’s not what I meant! We both have to wear matching items not just you buying it for me to wear’ I explain to him. He just smiles at me and pulls his jeans so I can look down them....’erm Jae what are you doing? People are looking!’ I whisper he looks around ‘they can’t see and you better look quick then!’ I look down to see him wearing grey ck boxers. I look up at him and squeal, I hug him tight and peck his cheek ‘are you wearing the bra top too?’ I tease, he nudged me slightly ‘awww I forgot mine at home...damn’ he turns to order our ice cream flavours from them trucks that do the really tall ice cream. I lean on him ‘get one, I won’t be able to finish mine I’m kinda full’

~~~~

Despite me saying I was full I end up eating most of the ice cream and the cone, after a few bites Jae just let me finish it. After I was done he passed me a tissue and helped me wipe my hands, I took the tissue and moved to wipe my mouth he caught my arm and gave me one massive kiss. I was too shocked to even kiss him back! He pulled back ‘you had ice cream on your lips’ he smirked I hit his shoulder and laughed ‘oh my gosh where is Jae? This can’t be!’ I grab his arms ‘what did you do?!’ I asked suspiciously he shrugged ‘I realised I love you way too much to not be kissing you in public, I don’t care who looks at us!’ He interlocks our fingers and we make our way home.

At home he suggests for us to spend our night watching a movie. so I run to our room and take off my clothes leaving on my ck set, he walks in as I’m walking out and slaps my butt. ‘Go pick a movie I’m coming’ I do exactly that.

I hear him come down the stairs ‘do you want a drink?’ I ask not looking at him. ‘I’ll get it, which one do you want?’ He’s already in the kitchen by the time I look up ‘a cup of tea please!’ I lay on the couch and wrap myself in the sheets from our bedroom. He comes in wearing his ck boxers with grey sweats hanging low.... he just looks....GOOD! I stare at him as he passes me my cup, I take it and put it straight down I stand up and reach for his cup putting it down next to my cup. I wrap one arm around his neck and the other on his chin to pull his lips to mine, we start making out, I tried to contain myself but guys picture Jaewon!.... with his messy black hair!....in his eyes wearing ck boxers and wait for it....... GREY SWEATS!!!!! Exactly!

It was Friday night and my friend invited me to go out with her and a few friends. I got dressed in my basic khaki cami dress, put my curls in a bun, light makeup and dark green heeled sandals.... I was doing SIMPLE!

I wait for a honk of a car indicating she arrived. I step out to see her in the passenger next to a red haired guy and another black haired guy in the back. I walked up and opened the door.

‘Hey’ I greeted them

They all acknowledged me with a wave or a hi back.

‘Y/n this is Nicholas’ she pointed to the red haired guy driving. ‘What’s up?’ He said pulling away from my house. I smiled at him ‘hi’

‘And this is daniel, daniel this is y/n’ he held a hand out for me to shake, his eyes trailed from my face slowly down my body and back to my face ‘.....hi’ I whispered. He was C U T E

~~~~

We arrive at the club and Daniel helped me out the car. He put his hand around my waist as we walked into the busy venue in a friendly manner.

We got ourselves a booth and I went in and sat down, I’m not really the party type but I want to get up and dance. It must be Daniel’s handsome face that’s making me energetic, a drink is passed to me by him.

‘Thanks’ I smile at him and eye the drink. ‘What is it?’

‘Henny and coke...’ he looked at my face to see my reaction

I smile again ‘ooh yes’ I start drinking it, he smiles at me and then starts drinking his own.

~~~~

This club is playing all the right songs, me and y/f/n have been dancing for a while now. Nicholas dips in and out of dancing with us and talking to Bloo.

I see Bloo walk over just as Nicholas comes to collect y/f/n, ‘would you like to dance with me?’ I’m already swaying when I nod.

He lightly holds onto my hips and we dance for about 3/4 songs... I don’t remember.

~~~~

We’re at the door of the club and I’m leaning down to try and take off my shoes, Bloo grabs the strap and takes them off. I just stare down at him in awe, I have to take all his in because this is straight out of a drama. He takes them off and stays down.... I stand there..... ‘come on, get on’ he waved towards his back.

‘Oh....it’s ok I’m wearing a dress’ I step back. ‘Ahhh come here then’ he giggles and stands up with his arms out. I come closer and he lifts me up bridal style, I wrap one arm around his neck and the other holding my shoes ‘I don’t know why you girls wear heels if it hurts, just wear trainers....or boots’ I giggle at his words ‘heels bring a different vibe, they’re cute’ I defend

‘........You’re cute’ he cringes after saying it

We both laugh as Nicholas looks back and screams. ‘Ewwwww’

He opens the back door, drops me in and closes the door. Runs around the car and gets in the other side, this time he’s sat closer to me.

‘Y/n!’ I feel someone shake me, huh?

I open my eyes and I’m still in the car....oh gosh I fell asleep....in here? Leaning on Daniel!

I sit up and he is already handing me my shoes ‘Thanks’ I take them. ‘Thanks guys, I’ll see you again next time, bye Nicholas bye Daniel’ I get out the car and make my way to my front door.

I hear the car door shut so I turn around.... Daniel follows after me

‘I’d like to take you out.......like a date’ he looks down at me shyly

He’s sooooo cute, too cute!!!

I nod ‘yeah’

He smiles ‘can I get you number?’

I type my number in his phone and he gives me a hug.

‘Goodnight’ he says and turns towards the car

Swearing to the music that is too much loud isn't the best way between your friend's conversation, who would give a fuck about a loud disturbance?! It's a fucking Saturday night!

My head has already spun around in a mixture of half insanity and vanity of being the winner version of myself, being able to complete the most stressful tasks in a year from my boss. No, i was not going to involve myself too much with a big amount of alcohol right now. I'm still unsure that it is the way of Jakartan or big city's habit to spend the whole weekend with a drinking culture or is it because most of my associates are Korean.

We decided to make a game before doing a sleep over. No, not us. Ahn Toil was the bastard one that became the initiator, and we're fully a dumbass to agree. We spectated him standing staggering on a table that full of empty bottles to announce what kind of weird game he would start our night with. Our voices were yelled the same word of 'watch your step!' at the same time. Seemed that intoxication and stack of cigarettes are always becoming his forever best soulmate.

“Listen!! I have game! I will make a lottery!” We awed his increasing ability in english while he's drunk towards us. He's in out of the world already served us a room, each for two persons. I would definitely kill him if he's using company's money for that shit because we're not only four or six. We're all fourteen!

“I will now spin the bottle and you can't refuse when you're chosen! Agree?!” In spite of our disagreement, he still reached the nearest empty bottle in front of him anyway. Toil's never thought that he's in the middle of depriving our future in job wise.

First round, second round. I was saved, literally because the spinning bottle seemed not recognise my existency. Hopefully I was left out in this stupid game he made. “Koonta Hyeong!” a name that I know the most in our small circle was mentioned loudly. He's the foremost manager in marketing and product, the same field as me. Thus, the most inner laugh voice to be heard must be mine since I knew him a bit, but not that close since his appearance still scares me.

“WAH SSIBALOMIYA!!” I saw him cursed and laughed both in a red face, yet the sanity was still there. I think he didn't take more than two glass this night and spending the rest only with the cigarettes. We know he could escape from the round or fired Toil because of his position in the company, but he chose not to. A sound of vexation and annoyance appeared from his throat, not until the bottle's lip finally picked me to be the next night's prey.

I shared my contact with Koonta's who was across from where I stood, as well as our unexpected occurrence that was ahead us. We are both single at the moment, but since that fucking game were inevitable he nodded at me to stay calm and accept what Toil's want.

Koonta assisted me to bring my small suitcase and put it on the drawer inside our mini suite room. The bed was quite fit for both of us and thank God, we were still sober unlike Toil and his room partner. I couldn't imagine what they were up to this night, maybe they would kill each other?

“I'll help you tidying later. Go get a bath.” his perfect english in a low-pitch sound soothed me somehow. That was my first time inhale the scent of bottle night from Hugo Boss perfume, dominating the room along with the spirit of liquor that we drank thirty minutes ago.

Right, I should've washed myself to be more calm since it's my very first time in two years have to interact this closed with him and no longer as a manager-employee relationship. His tender gaze followed my movement entering the bathroom—which the wide was half our room—while checking his phone out.

Briefly, we already washed ourself up and here I was, clinging with myself in front of the mirror. Wherever it was, the point is to get away from Koonta, a person I still disinclined till this second.

“You seemed have a problem?” Koonta spoke to me, his back already sticked on the headboard of bed, watching me closely from distance while he could probably focus on his phone with tons of client messages and all the stuffs. I didn't give him an exact answer but he knew what my stare at him meant from the mirror.

“It's okay... You can relax a bit. I'm no longer your manager tonight.” Koonta showed his giggling sound and those row of strong teeth.

I gave a smile at him too. Maybe it's not bad to get closer to him, since the bed was only one with the size of queen in this room. Fuck Toil once more.

“No, it's... I don't know what's game he's up to but this is so hilarious.” I walked towards the bed where Koonta laid down and spoke what inside my brain. He moved himself aside and turned his phone off, hand gesturing for me to lie down beside him. That action was quite a bit...

“Ah, I actually can rent a bigger room than this. But it's okay, I can sleep on the couch if you want-”

“No, it's okay.” I didn't want to make him more uncomfortable so I agreed to lay beside him even if my shoulders should attached to his. He smiled at me warmly, I knew he could smell my Jo Malone's English Pear and Freesia fragrance out from my skins. He might be fifteen years apart with me but his appearance doesn't not look like one.

“Hm?” he indicated me to tell him another story that was still disturbed my heavy head. “But it's not bad tho... Toil can make us more close with his crazy mind.”

His hand was opened for me to hold, unexpected and all of sudden.

“What is it for?” he looked at me without any jokes inside, serious but not deadly as it has to be when we're working.

“Anything you want. I know you're scared of me, but I'm not that worst person that you imagine inside your brain.”

I hold his hand in my five seconds of thinking, a weird gesture but I did kinda wonder how it feels to hold that calloused yet muscly hand while it's compared to my petite hand. And it's unexpectedly pacified me as he tighten ours.

“You're right. You're not that scary.” I looked into his eyes that I've never seen before. Those prominent cheekbones and smooth breath somehow makes my heartbeat pushing its pulse faster, once again I thank to God that he's in sober too. Koonta caressed my hair and brought my head to lean on his shoulder, so I could hear his heartbeat that is fast as mine.

“And I just realised that you're this pretty. I'm sorry that I never noticed you before.”

Those words woke my head up and once again saw his innocent eyes, smiled that was hidden inside that moustache. I felt my cheeks more and more heated and sadly I was too late to hide it, he had seen my panic.

“Do you want to accompany me to eat a chocolate and watch Netflix?” Koonta knew well to cover my shyness with that offering. I nodded my head in acceptance as long as it's not yet something dangerous. We spent our night together with a cuddle and started by an initial kiss in my forehead with his lips.