#kerri

because that’s at the heart of the narrrative of both Kerri and Leida, in different ways - cassian who lost the younger sister who was implicitly forced on him to take care of, who was made his responsibility, for no fault of his own, and Mon who knowingly gives her daughter who in so many tiny ways has already been lost to the mere possibility of a rebellion, Mon who takes her daughter to her own living grave. The dual weight of cassian and mon’s very real Missing Daughter complexes could have been, if handled subtly, an absolutely fascinating and constantly quietly brutal through line to season 2 as they (cough the protagonists of this show cough not luthen cough) step into their roles as leaders of the rebel alliance and into not just killing but emotionally manipulating people and then being forced to live with the consequences of what they’ll do for the rebellion. How to handle the weight of his grief and his guilt Cassian has emotionally deluded himself into believing his sister is still alive or at least still findable and to handle the weight of hers Mon has deluded herself into believing her daughter is, on some level, already dead, or at least gone all along. But it can’t be survived, either option, like nothing else on this show can be survived. They never say this out loud, of course, either of them, but you could get the manipulative back and forth of cassian who believes for unstated Reasons that a man with a daughter is a great mark to manipulate because obviously he’d do anything to see her again, and Mon who thinks that’s a bad gamble to make because a lot of parents just don’t actually like their children that much. (There was also a lot to dig into the fact that Dedra meero is a girl who had been lost and had very much been found by the empire. She’s in this too. She’ll destroy them all.)

and then it made me realize how this is, actually, at the heart of the story, because in a very very real way mon mothma and cassian andor gamble the entire fate on the rebel alliance and the entire fate of the galaxy on the possibility that both saw gerrera and Galen erso would do absolutely anything to see their daughter again. Cassian may be all about hope but his hope is pragmatic - he, on some level, truly believes that both the leaders of a rival rebel cell his own isn’t on friendly terms with an an actual imperial officer will gamble their entire fates on the vague chance they might learn whether or not their adult daughter is alive. Both Galen and saw think she’s likely dead. But what if there’s a possibility they can survive that she isn’t? What if? What if?

and that’s what it’s all about, in the end. It’s about how no matter how much time has passed and how scarred and broken either of you is, you’ll do anything, anything at all, to see your daughter again. That’s what it’s about, tony gilroy, that’s the hope. If rogue one is about the woman that the girl who was lost became - and it is - then Andor is about two of the people who lost the girl. That’s the goddamn circle.

“i’m looking for a girl from kenari.”

“When was the last time you were in contact with your father?”

I’ve only just noticed the visual parallels in episodes 1 and 12 between young Kassa with his sister Kerri and adult Cassian rescuing Bix.

Cassian and Bix head for Zorby’s ship yard where Brasso and the others are waiting to escape the Ferrix riot

Adria Arjona apparently asked Gilroy if her character could be made like a child as a result of her trauma (not just the torture but the huge impact of Timm’s betrayal). “I really wanted to turn her into this child… you meet her as this woman that is so empowered and has everything under control, who takes care of Cassian. And then towards the end she cannot even look after herself.” (https://www.starwars.com/news/adria-arjona-andor-interview)

Young Kassa hugs his little sister to comfort her from the noise of the exploding ship as it goes down. She leans against him and looks up for reassurance to the big brother who is really her entire remaining world.

Later he will run off to have an adventure with the big kids and never comes back, despite his promise to her at the end of the episode. (It’s in Kenari, but it’s hard to imagine it being anything other than his trademark “I’m coming back!”)

“No ! They’ll get angry!” Poor Bix. Cassian is horrified to see her reduced to a helpless child. He owes her so much.

In the finale, Bix is so infantilised by her experience that she has to be gently coaxed into being rescued at all as she’s so afraid of the Imperials. But she eventually puts her trust in Cassian and the roles of the sibling-like aspect of their long and close relationship are reversed at last - where previously she was a big sister to him he now protects and supports her as they make their way through the explosions and chaos - much in the way he did with Kerri all those years ago.

What a heartbreaking smile… “Maarva was here” 🥹

Kerri, Bix… and in between, Maarva. Just before he gets the hug and comforting words from Brasso, Cassian lets all his pent-up agony out:

“I wanted her to leave with me… I came to get her… I couldn’t get back… but the last time I saw her, we argued… I told her I was coming back! I never should have left that morning!”

This ‘fear of being someone who leaves people behind’ as Tony Gilroy puts it is the single most profound character trait of Cassian Andor and it carries right through into Rogue One (or more accurately, Gilroy takes the quality from the film and makes it part of the origin story). Guilt and regret about Kerri lies behind so much of Season 1 Cassian’s arc and undoubtedly has a hand in his radicalisation. “Everyone has their own rebellion” - and this particular part of it is personal. We saw it in the Aldhani and Narkina 5 arcs too, as Cassian’s circle of people he cares about expands. The coming together of this theme in the finale is another part of why it’s so emotionally hard-hitting. “We can’t just leave her there,” he says of Bix - and Brasso incredulously says “Are you going to take on a full garrison?”

He doesn’t answer but the look says it all. For Cassian, not “trying” is no longer an option.

It’s a hugely admirable heroic quality. But I do fear it might come back to bite him in some way. Yet as Gilroy understands so well: bravery and vulnerability often go hand in hand.

Drabble based on some post-finale thoughts.

He is choking on star-fire, a world turned ash and dust burning his throat with every breath, a bitter meld of blood and sweat still thick on his tongue. 

All the people he’s seen die–the light vanishing from their eyes, the warmth slipping from their skin–and yet this Death he sees before him is a stranger. Unbearably bright, impossibly hot. For all the sleepless nights he has spent haunted by lives lost or taken; for all the time he has spent staring into nothing, contemplating the inevitability of his own fate, somehow, he never considered this.

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