#kellamy

Cadet Bellmay x Kane. Like Bellamy 18 or 19 starts it as a get close to person in power but than oh no he's talking myth with me, and history with me and call my freckles and moles constellations.

Than Octavia gets discovered and Kane uphold the law. They make up in-between seasons 2 and 3, Pike still happens but it's even more complicated.

Oh man *blushes hard*. Well…I chose Kane cause I have written headcanons about them before, even though I know many people dislike this relationship. :)

First time Kane sees him is when he’s still a nine maybe ten year old boy. He’s cleaning up tables at the big mess hall on the Ark, gathering trays and plates in a big metal box. 

He is unfortunate enough to trip over carrying Captain Knight’s tray. Most of the councilmen and the respected guards didn’t go around taking their own food. They were served, which Kane hated being a part of but had not yet the power to change as he was the newest member.

The algae soup and the special mint tea  prepared for the Captain spill all over his clothes and Kane sees the boy fall down hard with a crack in his hand.

Next thing he knows, the captain is lifting him up by the collar while the kid, feckly with messy black curls, is holding his hand tight to his chest and trying very hard not to cry.

His eyes are full of anger when he looks at the captain-he seems like a feral animal. “What the hell you think you’re doing, boy? You wasted all this food because of your own clumsiness!” the captain who was known for his cruelty, barks but the kid doesn’t shrink in his arms-he kicks and tries to get away from him. 

A fighter, Kane thinks.

He intervenes just as the captain is ready to use his shock baton on the child as punishment. He’s smart enough to lie that he’ll give him a good lesson but instead sneaks him outside and pulls them to a secluded corridor. The child’s holding his arm and Kane reaches for it carefully but he won’t let him have a look. 

“I’m sorry this happened.” he says and the kid’s eyes widen. He surely didn’t expect this. “The Captain is cruel but just. I think he was extra cranky for skipping last night’s meal.” the child doesn’t speak so he keeps on “What station are you from?” still nothing. He’s too scared and too angry to say anything, thinking he’d still be punished somehow, so Kane simply pulls away “You’re free to go.”

He meets him again when he becomes a cadet. He’s the best out of the year’s candidates and he excels in his exams and training lessons.

But then it turns out he has a sister so he has to be punished not just by watching his mother being floated or seeing his sister being locked up. He is to receive twenty shock lashes and be cut off half his rations.

Kane is to deliver the punishment and he’s never been more disgusted with himself.

Then a year or so later he sees the boy again and this time he’s a man, in every sense of the word-still angry but also full of love for a hundred delinquents kids and a particular blond princess, all of them send to the ground, because of Kane.

He envies the way Bellamy loves. Truly, he does. And so after Mount Weather when all that love is spilled into a thousand pieces because of what he and Clarke had to do, Kane can’t look at him torturing himself and simply stand by.

He watches him run himself to the ground-doing guard shifts, going out with hunting or search parties, taking in whatever job needed to be done around camp just to escape his own pain.

All the while he’s suffering so much because he’s punishing himself endlessly.

So Kane refuses to sign off to him going outside hunting. He drastically cuts off his guard shifts and insists he takes at least a day off from the week to do nothing but rest.

Bellamy is mad. He’s so mad he won’t even look at him and soon, he started sneaking off camp on his own like a rebellious teen who is just so angry at everything except if it was actually like that, Kane would be if not relieved, then feeling lucky.

He knows the truth, Bellamy’s on a suicide mission.

And every time he tries to talk to him, the boy just turns his back.

They do not talk about the times Kane wakes up from his screams in the middle of the night and rushes to his place not just because his room is right next to Bellamy’s, but because he cares.

They don’t talk how it takes him hours to get his breathing back to normal.

They don’t ever discuss the gentle caress of Kane’s hand on Bellamy’s forehead, wiping away the sweat of the nightmares.

They choose to forget the fact that Kane was pushing down on the wound of his leg when they found Bellamy crawling in the forest looking for his princess or how he yelled at Monty to drive faster or how he held Bellamy’s head in his hands while Abby stitched him up.

They never once mention that Kane stayed all night his and Bellamy’s arm linked by a thin little plastic tube transporting blood from one to the other.

It feels as if Kane holding him up, helping him walk, was a dream just like the tears Bellamy cried soaked the earth and disappeared without a trace.

But they didn’t have to talk about it.

Hi friend!  I have lots of recs for you!

MY FIC

KABBY

All For One and One For All (pre-series & s1, no smut)

Power Play (S1, post-pilot)

Don’t Say His Name (s2)

The Scars That Show (post-s2 finale)

Haiplana and sequel Skaihefa: The King In Exile (S3)

Lights Below the Water (313-316 & post-finale)

Forget-Me-Not (post-S3 finale)

Ten Kisses (post-S3 finale)

Celestial Navigation (S4, between 401 and 402)

The Other Side (s4, no smut)

DOCTOR MECHANIC

Have a Little Faith In Me (S1 & S2)

I Sing the Body Electric (post-S2)

Liftoff (S1 & S4)

KANE/ABBY/RAVEN OT3

Ten Hours (Abby/Kane/Raven, post-S2 finale)

Triangulation (Abby/Kane/Raven, s3 time jump)

Raven’s New Toy (Abby/Kane/Raven, s3 time jump)

Sweet About Me (Kane/Raven, s3)

KANE/ABBY/BELLAMY

when you are close to me, I shiver (Abby/Bellamy/Kane, S3)

There’s Something There (Kane/Bellamy/Abby, post-S3 finale)

yea, though i walk through the valley of the shadow (Kane/Bellamy/Abby/Pike, s4)

OTHER PAIRINGS

Military Precision (Kane/Bellamy, pre-s1)

Trustful Hands (Kane/Bellamy, post-S3 finale)

Untouchable (Abby/Lexa, s2)

A Hard Rain’s a-Gonna Fall (Kane/Harper, s4)

pull you up from the ash and the earth (Harper/Raven, s3 time jump)

Both Ways Is the Only Way I Like It (Abby/Major Byrne, s2)

OTHER FICS I LOVE

My two besties @abigailkanes and @brittanias both write fantastic Kabby fic, much of which is set in canon.  Faves of Sam’s include: i’m sorry that i couldn’t get to you (the 409 Kabby reunion we didn’t get), simmer down and pucker up (post-s2, Abby/Kane/Raven OT3), and hush hush (keep it down now) (Arkadia Kabby smut).  Faves of Brittany’s include: dokwocha (post-s3, featuring Grounder ghost stories!), all we know (post-s2 Kabby where Jaha’s in love with Abby) and femme au phlox (s3, all about the art in Kane’s bedroom!)

a voice straight to god by @knowlesian (Kabby, S1 post-culling) is amazing and brilliant and if you haven’t read it you MUST.  I adore her.  Other faves include my own vineyard I have not kept (s3, Abby/Bellamy/Murphy) and slow down what you can’t control (s1, Abby/Kane/Pike).

Honestly anything by lelawry on Ao3 will be great - mostly Kabby, almost all canon, and I’ve never read one thing I didn’t love.  A few I have bookmarked include Uneven Odds, Already Almost, the things you said, and 15 ways to build a life.

I adore simplyprologue, who writes some of my fave canon Kabby fics.  Full disclosure, I have not yet read Seven Against Thebes, which is the one that EVERYONE WILL TELL YOU YOU MUST READ, but it’s endorsed by everyone whose opinion I trust.  Some of my other faves include love around the clock, a disquiet follows my soul, and for every matter under heaven.

it’s enough just to make you go crazy by @slackru (Kabby smut one-shots set all over Becca’s island by the members of the Kabby Slack chat; I wrote the hot tub sex!)

Troublemaker by startyourbenjens (s1, Abby/Kane/Jake OT3) THIS FIC IS SO HOT AND SO AMAZING

LISTEN I NORMALLY DON’T LIKE ALPHA/BETA STUFF EITHER BUT AQUIVER IS REALLY REALLY HOT OKAY DON’T @ ME (Kabby, s1)

Teasing, Tents and Cheesy Romances is pure canon Kabby fluff, set around the s3 time jump, and I adore it.

Some of my favorite canon Doctor Mechanic fics include we’ve been lonely too long by thecrackshiplollipop (post-S2 finale), the most important thing of all by astano (s2 or s3, I think?), and the new old-fashioned way by evandre (post-s2 CANON CHRISTMAS FIC!)

okay now STICK WITH ME I KNOW THIS SEEMS KIND OF OUT THERE but a taste of heaven by crackshiplollipop is s3 time jump Abby/Octavia smut and it’s FANTASTIC

WHEW THAT’S A LOT

So here’s what I think.

I think the theme of “from the ashes we will rise” is being applied very literally to a couple of these characters, most clearly so far Kane and the Blakes (which is ironic because a few episodes ago they were the three where I was the most concerned the show had no idea what to do with them, but they CLEARLY do after that fucking fantastic episode last night).  Kane, Bellamy and Octavia all are getting burned down to ashes.  They’re literally hitting their absolute lowest point.  We saw Octavia turn the corner in tonight’s episode, after being so distraught that she tried to kill herself by walking out into the black rain and then having sex with Ilian just to give herself something to feel besides crushing, miserable sorrow.  That was her “ashes” moment, everything burned away, reduced to her lowest, darkest point.  But then she woke up in the morning and she threw her knives into the water and left them behind, because after she almost died, she’s become a person who can’t kill anymore.  Ilian was right that whatever release that used to provide for her is gone.  And she’s already different, as we can see from the way she can see Ilian’s humanity in a new way that she couldn’t before because she was blinded by anger.  So now Octavia has come out of the ashes and she’s about to rise.  I don’t know what she’s gonna do but I know that every single person involved in the show who has been asked which character has the best arc this season has said Octavia, so it’s probably going to be something awesome.

I think for Kane and for Bellamy, both separately and together, what we got last night was their “ashes” moment, with the turnaround and resolution still to come.  Bellamy is overwhelmed by the sheer number of people he can’t save, by his feelings of failure, by his fear for Octavia, and by the collective series of losses he’s experienced that all came back up again at once when he was stuck in the Rover in the mud.  And Kane is in a similar position; all he wants to do is help everyone and he can’t help anybody.  He can’t comfort Bellamy, he can’t save his two stranded people, he can’t protect Harper from her guilt or heal the man she’s watching die, he can’t be there with Abby when she has to do the hardest thing she’s ever done in her life, he can’t bring Octavia home, and also - crucially - he can’t erase the things that he did on the Ark, even though he’s been trying since he landed on Earth to repent and be better as though that could wipe those sins away.  So they both end this episode at the lowest of their low points in four whole seasons, and I don’t think it’s accidental that it happens when Clarke and Abby - who are the people who keep both of them grounded and make them feel understood - are so far out of reach. 

But Octavia was down in the dark place too, and she turned the corner and came back around into the light.  She’s rising from the ashes.  So I think Bellamy and Kane are next.  I think Kane’s arc for the rest of the season was set up very neatly by this episode and that it’s going to connect in some way with Jaha’s, and that we’re going to explore the question of whether Kane becoming a better man made him a less effective leader, and whether Jaha’s political savvy and ability to manipulate a situation to his advantage was, as Clarke tells Jasper in that scene in the brig, a whole lot more vital to keeping the peace on the Ark than anyone (INCLUDING ME TBH????) ever gave Jaha credit for.  So I think a Kane/Jaha team-up where we see maybe an inversion of Season 1 (Jaha as Kane’s second-in-command instead of Kane as Jaha’s?) might emerge as the connective thread between the Cadogan story and the Arkadia story and that Kane is going to be instrumental in finding a way to lead his people and prove himself and save them.  And I think his relationship with Bellamy will be key to that; we got that “you turn the page and you don’t look back” moment from them in the season premiere that I think was really significant and it feels like the show is setting us up for their big “rise from the ashes” moment to be something that involves them working together. 

Because the important thing to remember is that every facet of their complicated relationship can be equally true at the same time; Kane is the man who floated Bellamy’s mom, and neither Kane nor we can dismiss that even if we want to; but he’s also one of the only characters in this entire show that Bellamy has ever opened up to like he does when he talks about his mom and baby Octavia in that heartbreaking scene over the radio.  So his anger at Kane for the loss of his mom, which is real, and which has always been there, does not erase the relationship they’ve built on the ground, because he’s still someone Bellamy feels safe enough with that he can let Kane see him cry.  I think looking at it like “ugh Bellamy was being a dick” misses the depth and complexity of all the different emotional truths that were contained in those scenes. 

This relationship is so, so hugely important to both of them individually and to the show, but they had to confront the one big thing between them that they’ve never confronted before - just the way Octavia had to finally, finally, finally really confront her grief for Lincoln - in order to burn all the way down into ashes so they can rise.