#kcfanficweek

           “That blonde’s a choice piece of ass,” Tyler quipped, rudely interrupting his daydream of charming the blonde after he wrapped up his business meeting.

           With an irritated grunt, he jerked his chin toward the signs perched at the center of each table. Red lettering warned, ‘Hands off the acrobats.’ While some might consider it more of a suggestion than a rule, Klaus was privy to the club owner’s dangerous reputation in select circles, and knew it was an edict one ignored at their own peril. “I suggest you mind your tongue around Enzo, mate. He has a strict, hands-off policy concerning his employees.”

           His impertinent hybrid scoffed, puffing out his chest like a peacock, and Klaus allowed his hybrid gold to flare as a warning. “We’re here to discuss business. I won’t remind you again.” He began threading his way through the packed crowd, noting the throng of people outside still hoping to gain entrance. Lost Maggie’s was the most exciting venue to hit New Orleans in decades, and Enzo St. John had built an impressive reputation as an entrepreneur that served him well as he operated his criminal empire among the shadows. Klaus was displeased at having to involve a human with his request, but his supernatural contacts had failed to deliver results. And then were promptly beheaded. Klaus didn’t tolerate incompetence.

           A hostess bedecked in crimson ribbons similar to the aerial silks overhead quickly appeared, leading him to the VIP section discreetly tucked away from the crowd, where Enzo greeted him with a handshake and a glass of Macallan. His esteem for the underworld kingpin went up a notch as he took an appreciative sip of the golden whisky.

           “Cheers, mate,” Enzo said, pouring another round for himself. He noted Tyler standing at Klaus’ back, surly and petulant as he surveyed the crowd. “Is your guard dog thirsty?”

           Klaus grinned, appreciating the inside joke that Enzo was oblivious to. For all his powerful underworld connections, the fact that he was ignorant of the supernatural was incredibly amusing. “Tyler likes to stay sharp. I’m a bit surprised that someone in your line of work isn’t flanked by guards of your own.”

           Taking another sip, Enzo flashed an enigmatic smile, replying, “I have all the muscle I need.”

           Suddenly, a long crimson silk floated over their table, the stunning blonde acrobat soundlessly descended into an intricate flip and landed behind Enzo. She inclined her head respectfully at the crime boss, blue eyes sweeping over Klaus and Tyler as though carefully assessing them.

           “This is Caroline.”

           She was a luminescent shadow, gleaming blonde waves cascading over her costume’s iridescent feathers. He was intrigued to catch the edges of a tattoo emblazoned along her well-toned bicep, the girlish script somehow intimidating as it spelled out ‘loyalty’. He vowed to learn the story she’d willingly had carved into her body.

           Clearly not intending for Klaus to interact with his bodyguard, Enzo directed the conversation back to business. “You’re here for information.”

           “Katerina Petrova.”

           Enzo nodded, his voice matter-of-fact as he said, “There’s a blood price on her head.”

           “She betrayed my brother,” Klaus ground out, his anger sending a golden flare across his gaze.

           Before Enzo could dictate his terms, Tyler unexpectedly reached out and grabbed Caroline’s ass, artlessly squeezing her flesh while leering at her. Klaus’ wolf rose to the surface, teeth gnashing at his hybrid’s crudeness. However, it seemed Caroline didn’t need his assistance as she took both him and his hybrid by surprise, effortlessly executing a combination throat punch-roundhouse kick maneuver. That was a special forces technique. Klaus became further enamored as he watched her slam Tyler’s hand on the table, pulling out a razor-sharp knife and cleanly slicing off his thumbnail.  

           As Caroline stood over the howling Tyler, Enzo coldly informed them, “We expect our customers to respect our hands-off policy regarding staff.”

           The Salvatores had first introduced Klaus as ‘new money business’, which Caroline had assumed meant that he was a high-level dealer, or maybe even a drug lord. She’d been careful around him, doing her best to check her curiosity whenever she saw him at the club, but she couldn’t help but wonder if he had information she could use. Especially now that it seemed the badge lying on the coffee table belonged to him.

           She was pissed at him for keeping secrets, but realized she was being a hypocrite. After all, she’d weaseled her way into Salvatore Sirens, the mermaid-themed burlesque club, under false pretenses too. It was all Bonnie’s stupid fault — her loser boyfriend got in too deep with the Salvatores and couldn’t pay them back — so she begged Caroline to get a job there and spy on the Salvatores and get evidence of their drug trafficking.

           All this time, she’d felt conflicted about her growing feelings for Klaus, worried about how to keep him out of this mess when she finally had evidence to take to the police. And it turned out that Klaus was the police. She nodded to his badge, her voice barely above a whisper as she said, “Of all the things I would’ve guessed about you, this was not one of them.”

           “You wondered about me,” he asked in an oddly hopeful tone. “I wasn’t sure how much of what you’d shown me was real.” At her affronted expression, he hastily explained, “Not that I assumed anything untoward about you or your...assets. They’re lovely.” Gray eyes widened in horror as he quickly corrected his wandering gaze, adding, “I meant that you’re lovely! All of you, that is.”

           She raised an eyebrow, not really sure what to say. Klaus rambled when he was nervous. And he wasn’t nearly as smooth as his drug lord persona he’d adopted for his undercover work. She liked this Klaus better. “You’re lovely as well.” With a teasing wink, she added, “All of you.” The throbbing of her head reminded her that this definitely was the wrong time to flirt. “Tell me you have a plan,” she muttered, careful to keep her voice low in case the Salvatores were watching them.

           “Everything will be fine, Caroline. I promise.”  

           “Well, this is just awkward. Because I’m pretty sure nothing will be fine for either of you ever again,” Damon sneered, straddling a chair off to the side while Stefan creepily sat so close to Caroline he almost was in her lap. Both brothers had dark eyes, but it was Stefan’s that she found the most disturbing. They were perfectly blank — devoid of emotion — but yet they glittered with an eerie awareness. And right now, it was directed at her.

           When Stefan began running his fingers along the top of her hand, she immediately tried to jerk it away, her flesh crawling from his touch. However, his grip was iron and she had no choice but to let him continue his silent exploration.

           “Let go of her,” Klaus snarled, struggling to break free of his bonds.

           Damon watched him struggle, an amused grin on his pale face as he said, “We’re going to play a game. I’ll ask you questions, and each time you lie, my brother with touch another part of Caroline. And she has so many pretty parts.” He cocked his dark head, his voice little more than a sleazy purr. “And just so you know, Stefan has had his eye on her for awhile. Normally, there’s a strict a hands-off policy with our girls — since it’s just not worth the payoffs or the inevitable body dumps — but your little crush on her is too convenient not to exploit.”

           Caroline sucked in a gasp, looking away from Stefan’s blank stare as he continued to weirdly massage her knuckles. Fuck — why was he licking his lips?

           Clearly noticing Stefan’s disconcerting behavior, Klaus ground out through clenched teeth, “What do you want to know?”    

           “Your badge says ‘narcotics’. So, what are you? Cop? DEA?”

           “Narcotics agent. With the DEA,” He replied tersely. His steely gaze flicked over to Stefan, who paid him no mind as he continued to toy with Caroline’s hand, running a blunt nail across her cuticles. “I answered your question — let go of her,” he seethed.

           Damon shook his head, dark eyes full of mirth as he taunted, “You answered one question. And Stefan is still only touching one of Caroline’s parts. We need to give him a freebie — trust me, you don’t want Stefan to have idle hands.”

           She hated that she shivered at Damon’s threatening words, the weight of Stefan’s empty stare making her want to scream. Her thoughts raced at what Klaus had revealed. He wasn’t a local police officer — he worked at the federal level. This meant he was even more useful to her cause than she’d realized. Plus, it meant the Feds already were onto the Salvatores’ drug operation. With a start, she remembered the tiny camera hidden among the gaudy pearls of her ridiculous seashell bra. She needed to make sure everything that happened here was caught on camera.

           She subtly shifted, arching her back to get the best possible angle. She sat very still as she focused on Damon to ensure several frames were captured before moving onto Klaus, hoping she properly catalogued all of his injuries. It was when she turned her attention to Stefan that Damon called her out with a sharp laugh, “What’s with you pointing your tits at my brother? Yeah, your rack’s pretty awesome, but you’re one crazy bitch if you think it’s going to save you.”

           “Leave her alone,” Klaus demanded, mercifully pulling focus away from her for the moment.

           His face cleared as he nodded in agreement. “Right — back to my questions. So how long have the Feds been onto us and what evidence do you guys have?”

           Stefan briefly looked away from her, seemingly interested in Klaus’ response, and she quickly considered her options. What could she use as a weapon? She couldn’t risk damaging the camera in her ridiculous bra and the sequins of her mermaid costume only would scrape skin, not break it. Her Salvatore Sirens’ outfit was just as useless as it was uncomfortable. As she shifted her hips, she jumped slightly at the press of the steel boning that was poking its way through a hole in the lining. Of course! She’d accidentally ripped a seam climbing out of the giant clamshell during her act, and there hadn’t been time to see the stage manager before she was expected to mingle with the crowd.

           With a slight nudge of her free hand, she caressed the sharp tip of the metal, slowly inching it out of the small tear in the fabric. Once it was out, she hugged it tightly between her palm and her thigh, weighing her options. While she wished she could use it to cut through Klaus’ bonds, Stefan or Damon would stop her first. She had no choice — she’d need to injure Stefan before doing anything else. Feeling slightly queasy, she sucked in a breath and then took advantage of Stefan’s uncomfortably close proximity to lean into him just enough to hide her weapon. Her unexpected move distracted him and she managed to put all of her weight behind the first blow, jamming the rigid piece of metal into his neck. He immediately bellowed, instinctively grabbing at it to yank it out, spraying blood while Damon cursed and reached for her.

           She barely avoided Damon’s clutches, shoving a still-screaming Stefan away from her to get to Klaus. However, Klaus surprised her by leaping to his feet, hands already free. He’d silently freed himself and had been biding his time. In a blinding burst of speed, he’d managed to strike down Damon with some sort of downward-slashing movement with his elbow, and delivered a powerful punch to Stefan’s jaw, causing him to crumple to the ground with a pitiful moan, his neck wound continuing to bleed.  

           A fine spray of blood had splattered across them both and the air stank of sweat; however, Caroline was certain she’d never been more turned on in her life as she stared in wonder at Klaus. Returning her heated gaze, he told her, “You jumped the gun a bit, but I do enjoy a woman who takes charge, love.”

           Before she could reply, the room suddenly swarmed with agents who secured the Salvatores and began checking Caroline and Klaus’ injuries. He grimaced a bit when one of the agents poked a bit too hard at his ribs, but continued his debriefing, glancing over at Caroline to say, “While the Salvatores destroyed the bugs I’d planted in here, at least you’ll be able to corroborate what happened.”

           Caroline nodded, blue eyes lighting up excitedly as she answered, “Plus, there’s my boob camera!”

           “Care!”

           Temporarily forgetting they were ancient, powerful supernatural creatures, they both froze, the two coffins they were carrying awkwardly caught between them as they exchanged twin looks of panic.

           Caroline put on an overly bright smile as she slightly turned to face Matt, one of her very human employees at the wine bar. “Matt! Hi! Umm, what are you doing here?”

           “I brought over those oak-aged merlot cases the distributor had screwed up during last week’s supply run.” He ducked his head shyly, adding in an endearingly hopeful tone, “I knew you were stressed about it, so I picked them up myself rather than risking another late delivery.”

           She was stunned. “You drove more than three hours to secure tomorrow night’s shipment? Wow, someone’s after a raise.”  

           “Someone’s after a bit more than a raise,” Klaus muttered, throwing a completely unnecessary glare at Matt.

           The uncomfortable silence deepened, and Caroline followed Matt’s curious gaze and nearly dropped the coffins. “Oh! These are...umm...well, coffins, obviously,” she said, wincing at her high-pitched voice — like the screech of a freshly castrated ‘Nice Guy’. “And we’re using them to...” she trailed off helplessly, looking over the curved tops of the coffins to see if Klaus had any ideas.

           Klaus quirked his eyebrow, an amused expression on his face, but otherwise seemed content to watch her flounder for an excuse. Asshat. And here she’d been planning on seducing him with the fancy appetizers. Now, he’d be lucky if she offered him a stale Funyun.

           “To...help decorate for some theme nights we’re doing at the wine bar,” she finally blurted out, hastily adding, “You know, like instead of Christmas in July, we’re hosting Halloween in...March,” she finished lamely.

           As the weird silence stretched out, she finally nodded at Klaus, stupidly expecting him to say something helpful, but of course, he was content to just flash that dimpled smirk of his. Thinking fast, she continued with, “And there will be drink specials like ‘shrieks and shiraz’, and ‘merlot massacre’.”

           Matt eagerly stepped forward to help her carry her end of the coffins. “Or how about ‘sauvignon boo’?”

           After another uncomfortable silence, Klaus flatly said, “Well, clearly Caroline uses the gold standard in her hiring practices.”

           “Yes, I do,” She quickly answered, giving Matt a reassuring smile. As the three of them managed to shuffle into the dining room, she said in an overly cheerful voice, “Okay, let’s just set these down over here and then we’re done!”

           She hoped Matt didn’t notice the way she and Klaus instinctively relaxed as he started toward the door, and then immediately tensed when he stopped midway to ask, “Hey, mind if I use your bathroom first?”

           “Sure,” she chirped, fervently hoping that she’d remembered to put away the floor sander she’d been using on her extra-curly toenails. That one would be hard to explain.

           The moment he left them alone, Klaus asked in irritation, “Why can’t we just compel your idiot human?”

           Caroline wildly waved her arms at him, hissing, “Keep your voice down! I put vervain in my employees’ drinks.” At his incredulous expression, she shrugged defensively. “What? I like to level the playing field for humans. It’s only fair since most of them have no idea what’s really out there.”

           He crossed his arms in front of his chest, grumbling, “Or, you have a fondness for humans who are trying to get in your knickers.”

           “Seriously?! That’s not even...that’s ridiculous...I mean, my people don’t even wear knickers.” She blushed at his intrigued expression, awkwardly explaining, “There’s umm...extra chafing that happens because our skin is very sensitive.”

           It was clear from his sexy smirk that they’d be exploring her particular sensitivities soon, but then Matt’s uncertain voice interrupted as he called out, “Uh, Care?”  

           He’s in the living room. Fuck! That’s where they put the other coffins and tested out some of the corpses to find the right fit. She forced herself to move at a more human speed, grateful that Klaus did the same. As they rounded the corner, she felt panic start to sink in at the sight of Matt kneeling beside one of the corpses hanging halfway out of a coffin. Would he assume the bodies were part of the wine bar’s theme night decor?

           Matt unexpectedly started poking a corpse, shuddering. “Wow, they’re really cold. What did you make the bodies out of? Frozen turkeys?”

           “Among other things,” Klaus lied smoothly.

           Caroline hurriedly explained, “Klaus is my...body expert.” At her hasty explanation, Klaus made a choking noise, looking ridiculously pleased with himself.