I know you’re having financial problems and I know you think you can’t work.... but I have a friend with epilepsy who goes to work every single day. She risks having seizures on the clock just to provide for her family. I also have a friend who has multiple sclerosis who works two jobs to take care of herself as well as her aging parents. Her body is literally eating away at itself and she still works. So, why isn’t it an option for you?
Well, I do work from home. And before I go into my reply, I just wanna say no matter what you see someone else go through, it doesn’t mean that the all other people are supposed to handle their shit the same way or better, just because someone else has it worse and handles it well doesn’t mean everyone else will, unfortunately.. But the issue with working outside of the home is that I have crippling anxiety and agoraphobia and on top of that the IBS, IBD, UC, Barretts, Sjrogens, the immune issues. It’s all just so much, and the last time I worked I was humiliated and fired. As with the previous times before that. I guess my only excuse aside from being sick, is being scared. Plain and simple. A lot of people just don’t understand how crippling fear can be. The fear of trying and failing, the fear of getting sick and ruining whatever it is you set out to do. The fear a spoonie feels is so much different than just being scared of spiders, or some shit like that. I wish more than anything I could make people understand, after of course being healthy. I know it’s not an excuse, and I have said time and time again I wish I was stronger. But I’m not. I am weak, and I am scared, and I am crippled by my illnesses and fear. And have yet to find a way out of this hole. I’m trying. Therapy helped more than I can put into words. She got me out and got me trying again. But she had to drop me, and now I’m back to being uninsured and not under the care of any physician. Barely able to afford the meds one PCP blindly fills for me. It’s honestly hell, and I wish I was stronger or different. :/ <3
