A/N: gurl we know what u r
Y/n is a Christian girl going to university struggling to balance religion and her studies. She has no time to think about love and definitely not love that displeases her savior.
My alarm isn't what wakes me this morning, it's the feeling you get right before dying in a dream. The anxiety combusting out of you as the anticipation gets to be too much. A feeling so big not even an unconscious body can take it.
I shoot up from my pillows clutching my blanket in my weak hands. My eyes search for light or anything that resembles life, just to be met with my screensaver reading, '2:26 AM'.
I lay down flat on my bed and look out my window. I blink slowly, sleep still sitting heavy in my eyelids. The longer I stare out my window the more I wonder what lies on the other side of it.
I wonder what things are moving outside. whose night ended poorly. whose life was just changed, and when mine will be. What lies on the other side
Pastor Willous says my life had already been changed since I've been saved.
I remember coming to him with tears in my eyes asking him when it was my turn. I asked him when Jesus was gonna use me for something greater than a life seen as simplicity and purity but held nothing but difficulties and temptations. And he told me Jesus didn't run on my time. He said, "faith needs patience just as strong".
And at that time I found comfort in his words.
but I've never been one to enjoy waiting.
I hate the doctors office waiting room. I hate elevator music. I hate holding phone calls. I hate summer. I hate boiling water. I really really hate the mornings.
Life feels so slow. It always has. I feel like I'm constantly waiting, but for what? I can't say my chance because I don't know what that looks like. I can't say my turn because I've never had one.
But maybe I can say love because as slow as life is... I have no time for it.
I don't remember falling asleep, but the sound of my alarm didn't care to tell me. I roll over onto my back not remembering my sleeping position changing either. As I go to turn my alarm off, as stupid as it may sound, I pray for the restraint to not throw my phone against the wall.
this morning is as slow as ever.
As I'm walking to my last class of the morning I see those familiar curls from behind and for a second the mornings pace quickened. I'm not sure why because not even excitement had ever picked up the pace of my morning. I brush it off, too focused on remembering her name.
"MANON!" I exclaim recalling yesterdays memory, not realizing I had shouted it until she quickly spun around.
My eyes widen and my mouth forms a thin line in embarrasment.
"Excited to see me?" She replied with a small smirk of amusment.
"NO!- I-I didn't mean-" Words fall out of my mouth faster than I thought them.
"...sorry?" I say unsure of how to explain myself without sounding inconsiderate. I mean I can't tell her I forgot her name.
"its all good clumsy. Where ya headed?" Her voice still laced with a teasing tone.
For a second I blank, caught off guard by the nickname
I suppose its fitting then.
"Organic Chem with professor Lincon" I sigh head falling in fake dispair.
"You seem so excited I'll let you go then." She says sarcastically.
"I'll see you later clumsy" she adds before turning back around.
The morning slows again after that. I hadn't realized my heart had begun to race during the whole interaction. I'm normally pretty clumsy and awkward but you'd think the second impression would be better right? I guess It can't be helped.
The slower the morning drags the more I cling to the two very brief moment with Manon. I'd usually brush those small things off but I can't help but want to make them last. I don't have very many friends on campus as it is. Not one's I recognized like that anyways. Just the surface level kind.
Ones I'd meet with in the library to study. The ones I didn't mind helping when asked. The kind that you smile at in the halls, waving feeling too personal. You know, the normal kind.
Is Manon the normal kind?
Professor Lincon looked at me like it had been him that asked me that question.
I blinked at him confused.
"Did you hear me Y/n? I asked the answer to the question on the board." He says frustration creeping on his tongue.
I look at the board with some random ass molecules on it that I have no memory of. As i open my mouth to bullshit my way through the question the door opens.
"is Y/n in here?" a familiar voice rings through the room and my head snaps in recognition.
Standing there is Manon. She opens her mouth again.
"I need her for minute. We shouldn't be long at all" She says in a way I can only describe as what was just about to come out of my mouth seconds before she'd interrupted.
An amused smile pulls at my lips as I stand to meet her by the door. I look to Professor Lincon as if to ask for permission. To which he pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded reluctantly.
As we leave the classroom I look at Manon with that same amusement on my face
"You needed something?" I say in the sarcastic tone she had used earlier.
"Oh no, YOU needed something. And that something was a savior." She motions towards herself.
"You're welcome" She hums pleased with her response.
A word I had never used to describe anyone other than God. And here she was, using it like a casual term.
I turn my head in thought, feeling guilty for not correcting her.
"So about that chipotle you had offered yesterday?... Is that still on the table?" A giddiness follows her question.
I'd have to pray about this later.
"lets go" I say just as excited.
