VIRAL VIBES
requested by anon:
summary: you're constantly in the spotlight, is it really a surprise you're a viral sensation?
pairings: platonic batfamily x batsis! reader. mentions of roy, wally, conner, kyle x batsis
a/n: crackish
[You and Duke are seated at a table, a bottle of water in front of you, Bruce stands behind, holding a piece of paper]
"Slay?… Slay what?" He stares deadpan, already concerned for the mental state of his giggling kids.
"That’s it. That’s the word." Duke explains.
"Slay is not a complete thought."
"No," you agree, nodding sagely, "it’s a lifestyle."
You're mid-sip when Bruce decides to drop the following words, "Mama... a girl is behind you." Duke spits his water all over your face, rendering you temporarily blind while you accidentally inhale water up your nose.
"Is this some kind of warning? Is it a threat?" It hurts to breathe, it hurts to exist. You make an odd gargling noise that sends Duke into another spiral.
Bruce never gets an answer to his question, painstakingly watching his hysterically giggling children.
"Skib-" you see Bruce mouth the word incredulously as if questioning what his eyes are seeing, "skibidi... toilet rizz? I feel like I'm being punked, I only recognise one of those words." Neither you nor Duke can answer him, too busy choking on laughter and water.
Tears stream down your cheeks, your palm thumping against the table, and Bruce becomes legitimately concerned you're about to choke to death.
"Be fr."
"What does the fr stand for. Is it supposed to be ‘be… free?’"
"No." You gasp, trying to maintain your composure. "No, it means ‘Be for real.’ Like when someone says something unhinged and you’re begging them to actually tell the truth."
"You know. Like when Jason said he’d start a podcast." Duke snickers as you hold up a hand for a high five.
"Be fr." Bruce nods, his monotone delivery sending you over the edge as you laugh so hard you slip off the chair, accidentally knocking the phone over.
[Steph's voice comes from behind the camera focused on you and Dick slumped on the couch, it's clear she's holding back a giggle]
"He’s a 10, but he once fell off the treadmill in public because he was distracted by his own reflection."
The words register in Dick's head, his mouth falling open in offence. He throws his phone down on the couch, suddenly paying attention to Steph's shenanigans.
"Oh yeah, solid 4, sounds like an idiot." You chime in, not looking up from your phone.
"The mirror snuck up on me!" He huffs, pouting at Steph as he prepares his comeback.
"She’s a 10, but she once pretended not to know me at a farmer’s market because I said ‘slay’ unironically."
"You said it to a zucchini, Dick!"
"Weak." You snort. "Minus 3 points for flirting with the shittest vegetable."
Steph spins the camera enough to show her thumbs up.
"Fine. She’s a 10, but she has a ‘funeral playlist’ and refers to it as her final slay."
"I don't think you understand this trend Dickhead. Besides, it’s an awesome fucking playlist. ACDC into Billie Eilish? The drama, the emotional whiplash. That’s the arc."
"10/10. No notes." Steph chirps.
Dick scowls. "She’s a 10, but trauma dumps during the brunch and ruins the vibe."
"Who hasn't?" Steph scoffed, determined to back you up.
"Excuse you, the trauma dump is the vibe. That mimosa knew what it signed up for." You barely skip a beat before firing back at your brother.
"He's a 10, but he's fumbled every baddie he somehow managed to bag in the first place." Steph shrieks with laughter as Dick looks close to tears.
"I mean, how you gonna fumble four separate redheads, couldn't be me." You deadpan.
The camera shakes with the force of Steph's laughter, the video cutting off right after you hear Dick's whine in the background. "Why are you being so mean to me? Wait 4?"
[You're behind the camera, which is focused on a tired-looking Tim walking on the pavement.]
"Hey, have you ever met my friend George?"
"George?" Tim mumbles, turning to look at you, "Wait, why are you filming-" His suspicion is warranted, but comes far too late for him to react as your hand enters the frame, shoving him into the hedge.
"George Bush!"
[She's such a good big sister🥹 ]
Video 1: Damian's dressed in a suit, standing beside a piece of artwork and looking small against all the other patrons. You suddenly sneak up behind him, catching him in a hug as you proudly brag to the nearby art show guests about your little brother's art.
Video 2: You and Duke are seated in a Batburger in your pyjamas at 2am. You look exhausted, blinking repeatedly and threatening to fall asleep in your fries, but you still let Duke ramble at you as you pay for his food and give him your milkshake.
Video 3: You're holding Tim's hand as you cross the road, tugging him along gently and him trusting you enough to barely watch where he's walking.
Video 4: You giving Cass a bouquet of flowers after her dance performance. You're eyes are a little red and puffy as you animatedly tell her how beautiful she is.
Video 5: Jason looking uncomfortable at a gala event as an older woman talks at him, only for you to suddenly sweep in dramatically, tugging him away without so much as a by your leave.
[A video posted on Bart's TikTok of you and Wally captioned: bro stand up!!]
The video:
You're scowling at an enamoured-looking Wally, gesticulating wildly as you clearly scold him about something. From the look on his face, it's clear Wally's not absorbing a single thing, staring at you like he's mentally planning your wedding.
The comments:
@dickgraysonsgrayson: Wally West falling for her is SO funny because he talks a mile a minute and she just stares at him like he’s background noise. AND HE LOVES IT.
@tiddiesinsincity: She calls him ‘annoying’ with the most affectionate tone ever. They're in love ur honour!!!
@westnwayne4eva: That man is down so horrendously bad I'm nearly embarrassed for him.
@lexluthorscheapasswig: They give off golden retriever x black cat ENERGY in all caps.
@nightwingschikenwing: He’d absolutely be the type to send ‘thinking about u’ memes every hour, and she responds once a day with ‘ok.’ AND HE SAVES IT.
@:iranoutofusernameideas: She says ‘Wally, no’ at least five times a day. He hears it like it’s ‘I love you.’
[You're doing an interview at a gala, Roy appears from behind, resting a hand on your waist as you jump]
The video:
"Hey trouble." Roy grins wickedly, ignoring the sudden flashes of cameras.
"Roy! I almost punched you." You whine, but still relax in his hold, smiling back. "What are you even doing here? You hate these things."
"What can I say? Maybe I wanted to see you."
The comments:
@whydidothistomyself: “That one clip where Roy pulls her away from the paparazzi with that stupid smug grin?? Yeah, I rewatch it daily and this is going in the folder right next to it.
@ireallyneedanewhobby: rolling her eyes while Roy winks at her like the menace he is…that’s love.
@booktokmorelikewaynetok: He calls her trouble?? JUST KISS ALREADY.
@royharpersgianttiddies: Their dynamic is: she threatens to throw him off a rooftop and he calls it flirting.
@olimcqueen: Them side-eyeing each other at events? Her smirking after he leaves a snarky comment? chef's kiss
@just-iceleagueee: The way Roy softens around her though. Like he’s all charm and sass but when she’s upset? He listens. I’m ruined.
[another video posted on Bart's account captioned: getting sick of this shit fr]
The video:
You're running away from a soaking wet Tim, ducking behind Conner, who grins, letting you use him as a human shield. Freezing when you wrap your arms around him from behind and poke your head out to mock Tim. Only to squeal in laughter when Conner hauls you into his arms, taking off in a run away from a still yelling Tim.
The comments:
@lexluthersucks: no because he LOOKS at her like she’s the only person who matters
@actualwayneteagirl: petition for her to date literally any of her brother’s friends
@batgirlburnbook: he goes feral if she’s mildly inconvenienced. like sir?? get a grip (never change).
@superboyslutclub: she could be wearing literally anything and conner looks like he’s ready to propose on the spot.
@no.1ship: ok but him manhandling her like she weighs nothing?? how do i get me one of those??
@idontevenlikeDCfr: her being completely unfazed by him while he’s just… standing there, breathing heavy. i get it.
[The comments from a video of you laughing at something said off-screen, presumably from the man who's arm was in frame]
@batkinnie: she smiled and i KNOW it was at wally. #WayneWest supremacy!!
@connrified: nah bc conner was RIGHT THERE. you can see his reflection. they are ENDGAME.
@royharperzgun: that laugh was for ROY and ROY ONLY.
@kryptonianluvr02: imagine thinking she’d choose roy when conner breathes like that near her.
@bruciewayne420: if you think anyone makes her laugh like wally does, you’re delulu. LMAO.
@lovewinsssss: she likes redheads with issues so YES roy is winning.
@aquamanswife: y’all are colorblind bc that’s clearly wally in her peripheral vision.
[A slightly shaky video of you sitting across from an unknown man in a cozy little cafe]
The comments:
@connerscurlz: WHO. IS. THAT. MAN. AND WHY IS HE BREATHING HER AIR.
@arsenalxwife: blink twice if you’re being held against your will queen
@jsontoddslefttit: not to be dramatic but this just ruined my entire week.
@glowylanternz: he looks like he reads poetry and draws her while she sleeps. i’m scared.
@wayneupdates: sources say his name is Kyle something?? art guy? lover boy coded?? HELP.
@arsenalsarmtattoo: we lost her to a man with ring jewelry. how do we recover from this.
@batdaddddy: conner nation is in mourning.
@wallywestsupremacy: she giggled. SHE GIGGLED. we’ve lost her for real this time.
@batgirlfandom: let her have her sexy sad artist boyfriend in peace.
@timstarlightsss: this is worse than the time Dick started dating that yoga instructor
