i lov how u draw jiminie

!!! I didn’t know you also ...  (this makes me happy ♥) 

@onorobo replied to your photo “(hang on hang on if people are gonna reblog have the actual sketch;;)”

I am... so in love with your art, it's probably illegal in certain states. ����               

i feel like blackwall eating 약과 would be really cute….big ol bear eatin flower shaped honey cookies

YAY LETS WATCH CR TOGETHET

I mean, the world pretty much runs on the idea that you’re trash, right? You’re always too-something. Everything sells because we’re not-something-enough. The whatever somethings we are make us worthless. And we work our asses off and fight tooth and nail daily just to feel like we’re allowed to even be here on this planet, let alone enjoying ourselves or ever feeling like we deserve anything that makes us happy. Systems have been built over millennia so that certain people live better lives, survive the world longer, feel like they’re inherently more important than others. Better, and I mean better like “better”, in very arbitrary ways. And the rest of us are basically dirt.

And we wake up daily expecting that we’re all grown now, so we “should be over” stuff. Believing that everybody else has their shit on lock and we’re the only ones stewing in this soup of self-hatred. In our own damn beds, even! And we feel terrible for not being perfect yet. Because if we grovel and beg and buy the right things and tamp down all the wrong things and smile and pretend and fake it long enough, we feel like the feeling of wrongness should eventually go away, and we hate ourselves even more when it doesn’t.

Because we’re all too ugly. Too stupid. Too sick. Too strange. Not rich enough. Not strong enough. Not normal enough. The wrong color. The wrong size. The wrong texture. The wrong flavor. Everything’s just... Off. And it’s all unfixable. We’re stuck. And that makes us trash.

But like... I’m sort of sick of it.

Honestly, I don’t have enough energy to believe this fake stuff anymore. I have more important things to do than worry about how I’m wrong somehow. I’m busy working to get stuff I need and want. I’m tryna do some shit before I die here. When I really think about it, where’s the logic in wasting all of my time and calories hating myself when that just feels terrible all the time? That’s just buying into the lies of the people in charge. And when I ask myself honestly if I’d rather be them than me, I realize that I’d rather be me any day. Because those fake-better people are the real trash.

The whole system is trash. So the people that system lifts up are no better than me. The arbitrary standards they invented don’t mean jack shit. So I honestly shouldn’t believe any of it.

It’s what I believed when I was a kid. And it’s what I struggled to keep believing as a teenager. And it’s what I choose to believe as a tired adult with better things to do than worry all the time.

I was feeling really self-conscious the other day. About my fuckin’ appearance. As if that even matters! And I made a dumb little post about it and then I got messaged by @karmindy who actually said some stuff I never expected to hear. It surprised me. And it made me feel so much better. And it got me thinking.

Why am I always focusing on what’s wrong? It’s something I just have to stop or else I’m seriously gonna run out of juice and just die on the tarmac. Somebody who’d known me for basically my whole life had noticed good things about me I never even considered or gave a second thought to, because I was always just looking at what was wrong. And I suspected, in that moment, that she had these words to say to me because it was something she thought a lot about too. And perhaps she had self-doubt and self-consciousness and self-hate, even though honestly? I’d always been jealous of her, and didn’t really know what she’d even feel bad about.

A goldfish doesn’t know it’s in water, cuz water’s all it knows. But when you scoop it out and it chokes on air for the first time, it suddenly realizes what it hasn’t known all its life. Getting called “beautiful” is always a shock- because it sounds like a lie- but that’s so fucked up. Ugh. Gross. This water’s tepid and I should get the fuck out.

All this shit about my appearance that I’d always been ashamed of? That stuff’s so arbitrary. On my head alone, there’s so much that I feel bad about when I honestly don’t have any reason to. I have monolids. I have a flat nose bridge. I have an uneven jaw. I have an unusual hairline. I have big ears that stick out. I have a scarred upper tubercle. (A ‘Winge’s Peak’.) I have thin eyelashes.

But like, whoever said that I have to look different than I do, have to look a certain way to be important, or more worthy of anything, or well, fuck- prettier? Fucked-up people I don’t care about, that’s who. I honestly don’t care what they think. All that stuff’s just rules humanity made up so that some people could feel better than others. And honestly, rules only have power if you obey them. So like... Why the hell should I?

Self-hate is a losing game. It’s what those in power want you to feel so you shut up and listen to them.

Self-love is totally radical. It’s so punk-rock. It’s a fuck-you to a system that just wants you to hate yourself so you buy their shit, or take their abuse, or don’t make a fuss when they treat you like garbage cuz that’s how you already feel. Elitism is a shithole and I’m not gonna give a crap.

I was honestly so much wiser as a kid. When I didn’t hate what I saw in the mirror and didn’t give a rat’s ass if I didn’t ‘measure up’ to others. I was just busy making Lego houses.

Monolids are fine actually??? And my hairline gives me character??? My flat nose is hilarious. This shit makes me who I am. Society keeps telling me that eyes have to be creased, and hairlines have to be “normal”, and noses have to be yadda yadda yadda, and fuck that. Fuck it fuck it fuck it. I’m honestly more interested on when I can get my squad together to watch Front Cover together. Is it gonna be shown in select theaters only? How do we get tickets? Ideally we should all go watch it together so we can cry as a unit. And I can drag them to go see The Handmaiden too... And Spa Night. I guess 2016 is the year of gay Asian films.

How I look is so much less important than school. And work. And movies. And comic books. And making cool shit. And hanging out with my friends and laughing at dumb inside jokes and having fun and actually, like, enjoying being alive. Or at least attempting to. I’m moving into an apartment with one of my best friends in a few weeks. I have a lot of work to do before I can graduate college. I have lots of project ideas I need to get on. I’ve got a lot to do and a busy schedule and being ugly stops me from doing exactly zero of those things.

Others might think I’m lesser because I’m ugly. Sucks for them. Can’t really give a shit anymore. I’m busy being excited for gay movies.

So who’s right, that nebulous “them” or me? Whose opinion matters?

Mine.

And like, yknow? I think I’m hella great????

hanzo would be cool ;o;

the mckirk....

karmindy replied to your post “jimkirksapple replied to your post “ya’ll i get so messed up when i...”